A Class Apart

by Susan Lewis

  “Who doesn’t?” Ashley pouted, and he dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose.

  “Pardon me for interrupting,” Jan said from the door. They turned round and Jan’s smile widened as she received a rather dour look from Conrad. “Your tickets just arrived,” she said, coming further into the room, “and I’m about to go.”

  “Leave them on my desk,” said Ashley, going to pour herself a drink.

  Jan dropped them beside the blotter, then making no attempt to go, she beamed at Conrad. Realising what she was about, he waited for Ashley to turn round.

  Ashley looked from one to the other, and sensing that Jan was waiting to say something she gave her an encouraging smile.

  “Hell, I just wanted to say,” Jan began, “that, well, everyone here will be thinking of you. We’ll miss you.”

  “We’ll only be gone a month,” Conrad pointed out.

  “Sure, but we’ll still miss you. You have a great time, both of you.”

  “Oh, we will,” said Ashley, slipping her arm through Conrad’s.

  “Now, is there anything you want me to do before I go?”

  “I think you’ve done everything,” said Ashley, looking around the office. “Did you get in touch with Mr Halworth, by the way?”

  “Spoke to his secretary. She’s fixed everything. They fly out the day after tomorrow.”

  “Halworth?” said Conrad, looking at Ashley.

  Ashley winked at Jan. “See you in a month then,” and to Jan’s absolute delight both Ashley and Conrad gave her a tremendous hug before she went off.

  “Halworth?” Conrad asked again, as the door closed behind Jan.

  “He once expressed a desire to be informed when we decided to name the day,” Ashley explained. “Therefore, I have informed him. And he’s coming to the wedding.”

  “Halworth!”

  “That’s the third time you’ve said his name. Yes, Dick Halworth. He seems to think that he was the cupid that shot the arrow for us.”

  Conrad gave a shout of laughter. “You never cease to surprise me.” He took her in his arms. “Now, where were we before Jan interrupted us?”

  “Oh, I think about here,” said Ashley, raising her mouth to his.

  “And if I remember rightly, I had just turned you down.”

  “I’d hoped you’d forgotten that.”

  Conrad picked the tickets up from the desk. “Here, put these in your purse,” he said, handing them to her. “As you’ve insisted we fly Concorde we don’t want any last-minute hiccups. What time is the flight?”

  “Nine o’clock.” She turned to look at him. “Darling, you don’t really mind about getting married in England, do you?”

  “Well, as the best part of my family, and indeed my company, are over there right now,” he remarked dryly, “I suppose it makes sense.”

  “They’re only there for the wedding.”

  He grunted. “Like hell. Any excuse for a vacation. Hadn’t you noticed how they’re all there before us?”

  “Preparing things.”

  “Like what?”

  “Don’t ask silly questions. There’s an awful lot to do, and Candice, together with Jenneen and Vicky, have been fixing it all up. And if my mother didn’t have them to nag at them she’d only be on the phone to us the whole time. And your mother too. Did you speak to her?”

  “No. She spoke to me. I couldn’t get a word in.”

  Ashley laughed and put her arms round him. “I do love you, you know.”

  “Yes, I know,” he grinned, then winced as she trod on his foot.

  “That’s a bad habit of yours.”

  “Tell me you love me,” she said.

  He looked into her eyes and felt his heart skip a beat. His face was serious as he told her how very much he did love her.

  “What about Keith?” he said, later.

  Ashley sighed and looked away. “It won’t be easy, I can’t deny it,” she said, “but I’m glad he’s agreed to come to the wedding.”

  “I’ve been thinking about that,” Conrad said. “It’ll be the first time you’ve seen him since that night, maybe we should arrange to see him before the wedding.”

  “You mean take him to dinner or something?”

  “Him and Alex.”

  “I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Ashley answered. She sat down behind her desk. “You know, in a way I’m glad Alex decided he wanted to stay at Caldicott. Oh, I miss him dreadfully, but I think he’s happier there, he knows the school, and it means so much to Keith.” She looked up. “You know, Conrad, you’ve never told me what it was you said to him that night. After . . . When you drove him back home.”

  “I didn’t say anything to him. He did most of the talking.” He looked into her face and saw the nightmare begin to pass through her eyes. “You must try to forget it, darling. It’s all in the past now. He never intended to hurt anyone, he just lost his grip for a while, that’s all.”

  “But I thought he was going to kill us all.”

  “By firing blanks into a wall?”

  Ashley gave a grim smile. “I didn’t know that at the time. Still, as you say, it’s all in the past now.”

  Conrad went to stand beside her. Not for the first time she wondered how she would have got through the last six months without him. He was there when she woke in the night, her body drenched in cold sweat as she relived the horrifying events that had taken place that summer’s night in a quiet street in Fulham. And he was there to soothe her when her imagination contorted into a profusion of cruel images that left her son lying in a pool of blood and Keith still facing her with the gun. And he held her close when the fear and horror were stripped away by the pain she felt at Ellamarie’s death. She knew she would never understand the fate that had lashed out to tear their lives apart that night.

  She rested her face in the palm of Conrad’s hand. What right had she to be so happy when she had deserted her friend in a time of unbearable distress? If she had listened, if she had agreed to let Ellamarie help as she had tried to, then she might still be alive today. But she had slammed the phone down on her, leaving her alone to face the bitter agony of what was to follow. What had she been thinking, in those final hours? What kind of hell had she known?

  “Ashley, darling,” Conrad’s voice was gentle, and Ashley raised her eyes to look at him. He smiled as he saw the tears about to spill oyer. “Stop it. Stop torturing yourself.”

  She swallowed hard, and tried to force a smile. “I’m sorry,” she said, and caught his face between her hands as he stooped to kiss her.

  “Now,” he said, pulling her to her feet. His face suddenly darkened and he was frowning.

  “What is it?”

  He shrugged. “Hell, with Jan gone, I don’t suppose I’ve got any excuse for turning you down now.”

  Ashley burst out laughing and felt the cloud lift from her. “Not so fast, mister,” she said, as he walked across the room to lock the door. “I’m taking you home, where we can celebrate in style.”

  “Celebrate?”

  Ashley’s face had turned pink. “I was going to wait until later, but I think I’ll burst if I don’t tell you now.” Suddenly she was embarrassed, and lowered her eyes.

  Conrad watched her, waiting for her to go on. “Well, I don’t see any explosion.”

  Ashley took a deep breath. “I don’t suppose there’s any other way of saying this,” she said, “so here goes. We’re going to have a baby.”

  The smile fell from Conrad’s face as he looked at her in awe. “Say that again.”

  Ashley smiled at his expression and began to walk round the desk towards him. “I said we’re going to have a . . .”

  “I heard you the first time,” he interrupted, and suddenly he was beside her, taking her in his arms. “Oh God, Ashley, I love you,” he murmured. “When did you find out? Why didn’t you say something before?”

  “I wanted it to be a surprise. Are you pleased?”

  “Jesus Christ, you have to ask? When
?”

  “Another seven months. September.”

  He lowered his hand and placed it over her tummy. She laughed. “You won’t be able to feel anything yet.”

  “No, but it’s enough to know that you are carrying my child,” and Ashley felt her heart contract as she saw the tears welling in his eyes. She threw her arms round his neck, and realised that she was crying too.

  Much later, when they were leaving the office, Ashley said: “You know, I thought that maybe, if it’s a girl, we might call her Anna.” Conrad stopped at the door and turned to face her. Under his steady gaze she felt her voice trailing away as she went on to tell him what he already knew. That if Ellamarie had had a little girl then Anna was the name she would have chosen.

  He took her face in his hands. “The answer is no,” he said, very gently. “This baby is ours, yours and mine. I know how much Ellamarie meant to you, darling, but she wouldn’t want this either. You can’t have the baby for her, Ashley.”

  Ashley’s face crumpled and he caught her to his shoulder. “I know it sounds hard, but you’re going to have to come to terms with what happened. You’ve got to stop blaming yourself.”

  “I know you’re right, but I can’t help . . .”

  “She would understand,” Conrad interrupted. “She loved you too much to want you to spend the rest of your life castigating yourself for something that was out of your control. Her baby was hers, Ashley, and the one you are carrying is ours.”

  “Maybe . . .”

  “Maybe if you talk to Jenneen and Kate when we get to London. It’s time the three of you tried to face what happened and accept it. Perhaps then you can get on with your own lives. And if Ellamarie was only half the friend you said she was, then you must know that she would want you to put it all behind you. Cherish her memory, darling, but don’t try to live her life.”

  “What time did you say they were getting in?” Vicky asked, flicking the indicator and swerving dangerously to avoid a lorry passing on the inside.

  Jenneen winced. “Five. Providing it’s not been delayed. God, I’m so nervous,” she added, after her heart had settled down again.

  Vicky glanced at her and smiled. “It’ll be all right. You’ll see.”

  “But it’ll be the first time I’ve seen her since . . .” her voice trailed away.

  “Ellamarie. I know.”

  Jenneen turned to look out of the window. The pain she felt on hearing Ellamarie’s name had not lessened in the six months since she had died. The strange, macabre coincidences of that cold summer night was something that none of them had been able to speak of since. Ashley had flown back to New York almost immediately, and with Matthew in the hospital and not knowing what her own fate was to be, Jenneen had been left to face Ellamarie’s parents. But Vicky had been with her throughout everything. If only they could have done something for Kate. She closed her eyes. How was she going to tell Ashley about Kate?

  “Ah, you’re awake,” said Vicky, looking in the mirror.

  Jenneen turned to the back seat. “I’m surprised you can sleep,” she smiled. “How do you feel?”

  “Terrific. And I wasn’t sleeping, I was just resting my eyes,” Matthew answered, making them laugh.

  “Got your ticket?”

  Matthew dug it out of his breast pocket.

  “Passport?”

  “We went all through this before we left.”

  “Just make sure it’s to hand,” said Jenneen.

  “Nag, nag, nag. I don’t know how you put up with it, Vicky.”

  “With difficulty,” Vicky grinned.

  “Now, there’ll be a car waiting for you at da Vinci airport to take you to the Excelsior in Rome. You don’t have to worry about paying for it, the film company will settle up. Then tomorrow you’ve got a day free before you start filming. Someone will be in touch with you to tell you . . .”

  “All right, all right,” Matthew laughed, holding up his hand. “You’ve been over this a thousand times, Jenn. I can manage, honest.”

  Jenneen smiled. “Sure you can. It’s going to be a great success, I just know it.”

  Matthew caught Vicky’s eye in the mirror and they exchanged exasperated smiles. Jenneen turned to look out of the window again.

  It still seemed a miracle to her that Matthew had lived, and every night she thanked God for it. It had been touch and go for so long that she had very nearly given up hope. And the constant guilt that had plagued her, not only for the elaborate cover-up she, Vicky and Vicky’s cousin Paul had concocted for the police but for not being there for Ellamarie too. It had almost driven her out of her mind. And she had lived in perpetual terror that today would be the day that Matthew would tell someone what had really happened that night, and smash the intricate web of lies they had all told. But he hadn’t. And finally, two long months after she had fired the gun, the tubes had been removed from Matthew’s arms and face, and he had sat up in his bed for the first time. She had been there when he’d done it, and had wept all over him. A month later he had been discharged from hospital and Jenneen had taken him home to her flat where together she and Vicky had nursed him back to health.

  And now, with her new programme under way, and the many contacts she was making in the film world, she had managed to secure a part in a movie for him. It wasn’t a big part, but it was enough to get him started again. They had never discussed exactly why it was that he had never pressed charges against her, and she wondered now if maybe he had been telling the truth when he had said that he loved her. Would he or Maggie ever have posted those photographs? She would never know now, and never wanted to know either. Just thank God that he was alive and that the torture of the last two years was over for both of them.

  “Well, here we are,” said Vicky, pulling up outside Terminal 2. “I’ll drop you here then circle for a bit. Pick you up in ten minutes, Jenn.”

  Jenneen got out of the car with Matthew and walked to the Alitalia check-in desk with him. She would have carried his case if he’d let her, but he managed to grab it before she could take it.

  “I wish you’d stop worrying, Jenn,” he said, after they had checked his luggage through. “I’m going to be all right. I’m a big boy now.”

  She linked her arm through his. “I know, but that doesn’t stop me wishing I was coming with you.”

  “When you’ve got so much going on here? I can’t believe that. But if it’ll make you feel any better I’ll call you every day.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  “And by the time you come back I’ll see if I can’t have fixed you up with something else.”

  Matthew smiled. “You’ve got to stop this guilt, Jenn. I think we’re about quits now, don’t you?”

  “We’ll never be that, Matthew. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I nearly did to you. And every time I think of Ellamarie and Bob, I . . .”

  “Sssh, don’t think about it,” he said, knowing how upset she got every time she mentioned Ellamarie and Bob. “We’ve got to look to the future now. It’s what Ellamarie would have wanted too. Maybe we’ve all learned something from that night.”

  Jenneen’s eyes were swimming in tears as she looked into his face, and he took her in his arms. “Be happy, Jenn. Please, be happy.”

  She held him tightly, and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “Come back safely.”

  “You can bet on it.”

  An hour later Jenneen was waving madly as she caught a glimpse of Conrad and Ashley coming through Customs. Seeing her, Ashley almost cried out with joy, and ran on ahead.

  “Jenn, oh Jenn!” she cried, as Jenneen caught her in her arms. “You look so wonderful. Oh, you don’t know how good it is to see you. Let me look at you.”

  Laughing and crying, Jenneen did an overstated twirl then fell back into Ashley’s arms. “There’s so much to tell you, everything’s been organised. Oh Ash, this is going to be the best wedding anyone ever had.”

  Conrad stood be
hind them, watching with amusement as Ashley turned to Vicky and embraced her. “It’s so good to meet you at long last,” Ashley said. “I’ve heard so much about you. And I’m just dying to see your new house.” She turned round and took Jenneen by the hand.

  “There’s so much needs doing to it,” Vicky laughed, “and Jenneen is not the world’s greatest painter. No staying power.”

  Jenneen nudged her. “Take no notice of her, I’m simply brilliant.” She looked around. “Where’s Conrad got to? Ah, Blanche’s cousin!” she cried, and taking Conrad quite by surprise she threw her arms round him. “Did you know that you’re the luckiest man in the world to be getting her?”

  “Sure I know it.”

  Ashley’s face was glowing. “Oh Jenn, I’ve missed you so terribly.” And Conrad looked bored as they began hugging all over again. “Where’s Kate?” Ashley wanted to know when she finally let Jenneen go again. “Isn’t she here too?”

  “I’ve got the car waiting outside,” Vicky jumped in. “We’d better hurry or someone will tow it away.”

  With Heathrow behind them, and the familiar lights of London spreading out on the horizon, Ashley sat forward on the back seat. “You didn’t say,” she said, resting her hand on Jenneen’s shoulder, “where Kate was.”

  She saw Jenneen and Vicky exchange a quick look, and sensing that there was something Jenneen was hiding from her, Ashley reached out for Conrad’s hand. “Nothing’s wrong, is there? You said in your letter that she was coming home yesterday. I thought she might have come with you to the airport.”

  Jenneen looked at Vicky again, and Vicky nodded. Jenneen turned in her seat to face Ashley. “You’re right, she was coming home yesterday, and yes, she was coming to the airport, but she’s disappeared, Ash. No one knows where she is.”

  The blood drained from Ashley’s face. “Disappeared? What do you mean? I thought you said she was coming home?”

  “She was, but she never arrived. I checked and she was released from prison as planned yesterday, but it seems she told her probation officer that I was collecting her, and she told me her probation officer was collecting her. And now she’s disappeared.”