I Picked You

by J C Hartung

  “Linc said that?”

  “Yep, when he got all the boring paint.”

  “What’s boring paint?” she asked with a chuckle, poking a finger into his ribs.

  “White is boring.” He took a big bite and the cheese made long strings.

  “When did Linc say that?” She tried to picture the scene. She felt like an idiot, pumping a five year old for information.

  “The day before today, after school,” he told her uninterestingly.

  “You mean yesterday,” she corrected.

  “If that’s the day before this one,” he confirmed with a tone that was clearly exasperated.

  It drove her crazy and made her laugh, which was likely what happened with many parents daily.

  They finished supper and Oliver did his reading homework while she cleaned up the pizza mess. When he finished, he streaked up the stairs to change for bed and brush his teeth.

  While he was occupied, she did something she had grown unaccustomed to over the past few years; she followed her heart. She grabbed the phone and walked out onto the porch.

  “Hey, what a mighty fine surprise this is!”

  She laughed because she believed him. She could hear music and she imagined Linc in his shop surrounded by all his beautiful work.

  “Hi,” she sighed into the phone.

  “And what have I done to earn this privilege?”

  “Oh brother!” She shook her head and heard him laugh on the other end of the phone.

  “It’s twenty minutes until bedtime and I’ve got heaps of leftover pizza, if you’re interested?”

  “When a hungry man turns down pizza the apocalypse must be upon him!”

  “Well then, I’ve got pizza with your name on it, and I could probably track down a beer if you want it.”

  “Only one?”

  “One, as you will be leaving here at a respectable hour and driving yourself home.” She couldn’t help but smile, and she was pretty sure he could hear it in her voice.

  “Fair enough! Am I bringing a movie, and if I am, what haven’t you seen?”

  She settled herself into the sofa on the porch and kicked her feet onto the coffee table.

  “If it’s something from the past two years I guarantee I haven’t seen it, and if it’s something older and I’m able to stay awake, I’ll deal if I’ve seen it!”

  “Cool. So about a half hour?”

  “Perfect!”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  She was leaning on the porch door when he pulled up. She smiled breezily and waved her fingers at him. He climbed down from his truck and walked towards her, a small bag in his left hand.

  “Hey,” she greeted, when he stopped in front of her. She glanced down at the bag curiously.

  “I brought treats for my favorite chef! I imagined you could turn vanilla ice cream into something spectacular!”

  She raised her eyebrow at the challenge.

  “Maybe,” she shrugged with indifference towards the ice cream, but smiled into his eyes when she put her arms around him.

  “Hi,” she whispered against his lips.

  “Hi.”

  She held the door open for him and followed him into the kitchen.

  “So you had a pizza celebration!” he stated, pointing towards the full pizza resting on a cutting board. He walked straight to the fridge and tossed the ice cream into the freezer.

  “We did. It’s hard to make a small batch of dough, and we really don’t eat that much. It’s yours if you really are hungry.”

  “I think I could handle a slice or two. I can do it, just sit and relax,” he offered, when she moved to busy herself with serving him. “I heard you were in the city,” he mentioned lightly.

  She looked up from the board where he was cutting the pizza. “I was. I heard you’re doing some painting!”

  He opened a cupboard and on the first guess found the plates. He put two pieces on it and without reheating the pizza went to sit next to her at the table.

  “I’ve got a lot of painting in my future. Are you any good with a brush?” He took a bite. “This is really good!”

  Her response was to smile knowingly and lean her chin on her hand. “I’ve painted a wall or two since birth. So, the story I got is that you bought a whole lot of boring white. Are you painting your whole house white, Linc?”

  “Most of it, yeah!” He finished his first piece and got up to find a drink. He opened the fridge and saw nothing aside from a juice box he could grab, so he settled by filling a glass with water from a pitcher. He swallowed down the glass, refilled it and walked back to the table. “White isn’t so boring if you know how to make it look good.”

  “And you know how to make it look good?” she asked, still leaning on her hand.

  “I’ll do my part, and when I’m done, my designer will finish it off.”

  A smirk that spoke of disbelief was directed his way. “You have a designer?”

  He nodded as he emptied his plate. She pushed herself away from the table but he stopped her from taking his plate. He followed her, carrying his own dishes and deposited them in the dishwasher alongside a load of others.

  “Ice cream now or later?” she asked, as she watched him tidy up her kitchen. When he finished, he stepped over to her and leaned back on the counter as she was.

  “Later. Are we doing the movie thing or can I convince you to lay outside under the stars and make-out with me?”

  “Oh man, I don’t know! What movie did you bring?” Her smile flashed lightning fast in his direction, his matched hardly a beat behind hers.

  He leaned behind her, pulled the movie from the bag and pointed towards the living room. She judged by the cover it was a comedy, but she couldn’t be sure.

  She set it up and joined him on the couch where he sat with his legs stretched out on the coffee table. As they waited out the previews, he asked what she’d avoided earlier.

  “So if I remember correctly it was your sister-in-law who was pregnant. What did she have?”

  Raina looked curiously at him, and it was a look he didn’t understand at first. Then she explained.

  “Yes, Trish, she’s married to Dave. They had a boy.”

  “My brother and his wife just had a girl, they called her Anna. What did they name him?”

  The color rose to her cheeks as she offered a smile, and then looked down at their joined hands. “They called him Grayson Mark.”

  He could think of nothing appropriate to say, and certainly nothing that might make the situation less awkward or easier for either of them. He was just about ready to throw out anything random thought, when the surround sound system made its mark by bellowing its trademark from the speakers. He shifted uncomfortably as did she, and their eyes met.

  “Look, Lincoln. I know this situation sucks for you. I’m sorry. This is all a little weird, but I don’t want it to be, and I don’t really want to talk about it, and not because I’m avoiding it, or you, or anything like that. I’m fine, even if it is a bit weird.”

  He didn’t release her hand and he thought that by not, he was telling her something important with his actions. Their eyes held for another moment. As far as he could tell, she really did seem alright, and nothing prior to this turn in the conversation had alerted him since he’d arrived. In fact, she’d seemed completely at ease.

  His free hand slowly lifted to brush the side of her face and he saw her shoulders relax and the strain in her eyes dissolve.

  “You are one extremely impressive woman, do you know that?”

  She shook her head and tried to shake away the compliment with it. “Linc.”

  “Look, I can’t begin to understand what it’s like. And I don’t need to know all the details, but I do want you to know that you don’t have to avoid talking about your life. Your family is obviously your life, and I know I only met them briefly, but I think they are great people. Most importantly, they love you and you love them. Once you get to know me better, you’ll see it’s the most i
mportant piece for me too.”

  A relieved and thankful smile pulled slightly at the corners of her mouth, and once again her eyes drew out every piece of emotion he didn’t know he could feel.

  “How did you become the man you are, Linc?” she asked sincerely.

  He squeezed her hand, touched deeply by her strength. “I have a pretty great family.”

  “But that story is for another day, right?”

  A short laugh bounced between them. She turned to flash the remote at the screen and settled into the couch, snuggled close to him.

  As she predicted, she was asleep before the plot was laid out. He didn’t mind, it gave him time to think and enjoy the loose weight of her body against his. Plus, the opportunity to look at her without her knowing was one to be savored.

  He’d meant what he said; she was seriously brave. No, he hadn’t worded it that way, but it didn’t matter because she didn’t think of it that way regardless. He knew she was just doing what she had to do to survive and scrape a life together for Oliver and herself. Now that he’d figured that out about her, he only wanted her more. He admired and respected her, but she wouldn’t want to hear that either, at least not yet.

  He turned the volume down on the movie without moving her and then he wondered if it was best to wake her and leave, or just leave her sleeping on the couch. It turned out he didn’t have to decide because the moment he moved enough, she woke.

  “Hey, I’m going to go,” he said softly, brushing her hair back and catching a small glimpse of the red line on her forehead.

  “Is the movie over?” She squinted over at the clock and then back up at him.

  He laughed almost inaudibly. “No. I wasn’t going to make it through either. I’ll leave the movie and maybe next time we’ll make it through.”

  “Okay. Let me walk you out,” she said groggily. She rose from the couch and he followed her to the door.

  He took the steps down into the porch and stopped to turn towards her before she could descend with him. She shivered from the chill in the air and he pulled her close.

  “Sorry if I’m a terrible date.” A small smile traced her lips as her hands slid up his chest. He felt her hands and lost himself in her sleepy eyes. He barely registered the genuine and alert smile that transformed her face. “Nothing witty or sparkling to say?”

  His mouth pulled a bit at one side, but his eyes remained on hers. “Nothing.” Somehow, she pulled him closer and then he was all hers, completely wrapped in everything she could offer.

  “I need to see you, soon,” he demanded, when she released him. Her defenses were down and he wanted to ask more of her. He brushed his forehead on hers and gave her something to think about. “Let’s pack a lunch on Sunday and go to a park and play baseball with Oliver.”

  She tensed, but he only pulled her to him again and kissed her softly, hopefully draining her will to deny his request.

  “Think about it,” he whispered when he stepped away from her.

  She stayed where she was, wrapping her arms around herself and leaning on the door frame. He let himself out and fought his internal battle to go back to her. He drove the short, lonely mile home, wondering if he’d pushed too hard and asked too much.

  He spent the rest of the week throwing himself into his work. During the day he built furniture, and during the evening he painted his bedrooms. It was solitary work and by Friday night when he began rolling the final coat of white in the last upstairs bedroom, he thought if he didn’t have human contact soon he’d go mad.

  The stereo was downstairs and it was loud enough to echo up the stairs and into the bedrooms. He was just finishing the final coat on the last wall upstairs when the song changed and began much quieter than the previous. It annoyed him that the volume couldn’t be the same from record to record, but he was too near the finish line to head down and fiddle with it.

  He saw a shadow cross from the hall and he spun, ready to threaten the intruder with the roller at the same moment he heard his name.

  “Linc,” she said hesitantly.

  “Yeah,” he said feebly when she stepped into the room.

  She lit it up, and he thought very suddenly that next to her, white was indeed terribly boring. Then he thought it wasn’t the white but her, because from the first moment his eyes had found her, she had been the brightest, making everything else seem dull and muted.

  “You alright?” she asked.

  “Yeah, just surprised, I didn’t hear you.” He blinked and smiled at her across the room.

  “Sorry about that, I did call, but I think the music was still too loud.”

  “It’s fine, come in, just don’t touch anything.”

  “It looks good, you’ve done a lot,” she said, as she looked around.

  “I’ve had a lot of time.”

  She tilted her head at him and concisely sized him up. “If I had to throw you into a generalized group of people, I would have assumed you listened to country music.”

  He smirked. “It’s not really my thing, why would you assume that?”

  She circled the room and peered at the view of the night sky from the window. “I’ve visited my share of job sites in the past, and I’d say 95% of them were blasting country from their radios.”

  “Interesting theory. I guess I’m the odd 5%.”

  She smiled, because again, he wasn’t what she would expect him to be. She was beginning to think he might never fall into the mold she wanted to put him in, and that was turning out to be a very, very good thing.

  It didn’t take much for him to notice the way she was looking at him, and he thought if he gave in, he’d never finish the wall tonight. “Can you give me a minute, I’m almost done and then we can get some fresh air.”

  She nodded and turned from the room. He heard her head down the stairs now that he was aware he wasn’t alone. Even more motivated to finish, with a few quick floor to ceiling rolls he was done. He sealed his paint can and carried it along with the tray and roller down to the garage where he’d spend a bit of time cleaning later.

  He walked back into the eventual kitchen and saw her through the doors, sitting on the porch. He crossed, turned the music’s volume even lower and joined her on the swing.

  “How have you managed to find yourself available on a Friday night?”

  She smiled over at him, and he reached over to her, brushing his fingers down her arm. “My parents were over for supper and I begged a few minutes of their time. I don’t actually have long.”

  “Okay, let’s not waste it!” he said easily, and looked out in the direction of the woods. “What’s on your mind?”

  “I like that about you, Linc; you always know when something’s going on. What’s on my mind?” She repeated, then paused, and a muffled laugh caught in her throat when her eyes leveled with his. “You.”

  He leaned back and pushed an easy smile. “I like that, because you’ve been on mine. But if I had to guess, I’d say I’m a whole lot more prepared for that than you.”

  Her eyes remained focused on his, but her mouth pulled at the corners into a small smile. “I like you, but you already know that. I have a complication at every corner, but that doesn’t seem to be scaring you away.” He took her hand as an answer, and her eyes never left his. “I’m not saying this because I think you don’t understand. I just need to say it.” His expression told her he understood, and encouraged her to continue.

  “You can break my heart, or mess with me, and somehow I know I’ll survive, but when it comes to Oliver, I won’t go lightly. I won’t risk hurting him or allow him to be caught up in my choices. He’s already been forced to deal with too much.”

  He could see that she hated having to say this to him, but at the same time, she was utterly serious. It was just one more big check in the admiration column, and confirming how very strong her character was, he realized that whatever battle he was fighting to stop himself from falling in love with her was just lost.

  He accepted it b
ecause he was all too aware he’d been heading down that road. He just needed time to convince her she felt the same. How could he reassure her without having the weight of his feelings chase her away?

  Her eyes remained on his when she finished. He shifted closer to her and took the hand he held into both of his.

  “Raina, I’m not playing games. I will not do anything to hurt Oliver, and like I said before, if you choose to never see me again, I will treat him the same as I have since the first time I met him. I know a little bit about what it’s like to be the kid in this situation.”

  She nodded, bit her bottom lip, and looked at him inquiringly. He saw her relief as her color returned to normal; she was so beautiful. He raised his hand and traced that same mouth.

  “You’re holding all the cards here, Raina. But because I know you are, don’t think that I will stop pushing. I want you in my life. I’m a patient man, but I also fight for what I want.”

  She swallowed and blinked her eyes at him so he saw she heard what he was saying, and with admiration, he noted, he didn’t see fear in her eyes. Instead, he saw a flare that his challenge seemed to stir.

  She pulled her hands from his and placed one on either side of his scratchy face. “You’re good for me, you know that too!” she laughed, as her mouth pressed his.

  He walked her to her car, though he wished she could stay and cozy up by a fire with him to enjoy the beautiful fall evening.

  “Do you still want to go to the park on Sunday?” she asked, when he’d opened her door.

  His face answered the way words wouldn’t express. Hers received and accepted the offering.

  “That sounds great, do you want me to meet you or can I pick you up?”

  “You can pick us up; we’ll be ready at 11:00.” A smile that he thought could forever make him hold his breath was directed purposefully at him.

  He closed her door and watched her tail lights disappear down his drive.

  Chapter Thirty

  For late September the air was balmy. He’d brought a soccer ball, baseballs, gloves, a bat, and a tee to help Oliver out. They both found out the other had some skills with a glove, and as they’d played, other kids from the park joined in. When Oliver got bored, Raina allowed him to join the other kids on the play structure not far from where their picnic was still spread out.