Rock Chick Regret

by Ashley, Kristen

  I looked away before he saw me but with quick glances I watched him go to the bar, get a beer and then station himself next to Lee and Eddie at the wall.

  “Work it, woman!” Tex boomed at the Drag Queen and I jumped, looked away from Hector, luckily before he caught me watching him and, I couldn’t help myself, I smiled at Tex. His big head was bouncing to Gloria Gaynor and, well, this big, crazy guy getting into a Drag Queen lip syncing to Gloria Gaynor was just plain old funny.

  I suspected Eddie had called his brother but I could deal with that too. I’d watch the show, drink my lemon drops and when it was over get Buddy and Ralphie to get me the heck out of there.

  Simple.

  * * * * *

  At lemon drop number five, I realized it was high time I bought a round.

  The Sadie-I-Wanted-to-Be would buy a round. Wouldn’t she?

  I leaned into Tex. “I’m going to go get a round,” I told him to gauge his reaction to my friendly gesture.

  “Budweiser,” he boomed in response without taking his eyes off the stage and the Queen who was singing Natalie Cole’s “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)”.

  My eyes scanned the table and there were different-sized glasses with different-colored liquid scattered around. How was I to know what everyone wanted unless I asked them?

  Impossible!

  Then I had an idea and I leaned back into Tex. “What about everyone else?”

  He tore his eyes from the stage, spared a glance at the table, looked back at the stage and boomed, “Shots.”

  I looked at the Rock Chicks. They were all singing out loud (and it was a very loud out loud) and dancing in their chairs with their arms over their heads (except Ally and Ava who were both standing by the stage, singing, dancing and waving dollar bills at the Queen).

  Obviously, they didn’t mind anymore what they drank. Shots it was.

  I got up and went to the bar and when the bartender asked for my order, I turned to the table and counted then back to the bartender and said, “Eleven shots and a bottle of Budweiser.”

  “What kind of shots?” the bartender asked.

  Oh no.

  What kind of shots? I didn’t know what kind of shots. I’d never been out with girls who drank shots. What kinds were there?

  “Shots of liquor,” I answered.

  The bartender blinked at me then said impatiently, “I didn’t think you wanted shots of orange juice.”

  Well, he didn’t have to be mean about it.

  This New Sadie thing was hard. The Ice Princess would have had him in cryo-freeze by now.

  I shook off my desire to zap him with The Ice.

  “What are my choices?” I asked.

  He blinked again then started listing them off fast, “Tequila, sambuca, Kahlua, Jägermeister, anything like that. Then there are the mixed shots, B-52, fuzzy navel, sex on the beach, blowjob, screaming orgasm, quick fuck –”

  “Stop!” I yelled, putting a hand up to emphasize my need for him to stop talking just in case he missed it from my yell. Then I pointed to our table. “It’s for them.”

  The bartender’s eyes went beyond me to the Rock Chicks and he said, “Eleven screaming orgasms, comin’ right up.”

  Phew.

  All right, fine. That wasn’t so hard.

  I could do this. I could buy shots for the girls. Maybe, when I got back to the table, I might talk to one of them, even introduce myself to the black-haired lady.

  It was then, another bartender came up to me and handed me a piece of paper.

  “This came from that lady down at the end of the bar.” He pointed to the end of the bar. I looked in that direction but I didn’t see any lady. There were just a bunch of gay guys hanging around.

  When I looked back, the new bartender was gone and my old one, Impatient Snappy Bartender, put Tex’s Budweiser in front of me and started to line up empty shot glasses.

  I opened the paper and nearly fainted at what I read.

  Sadie,

  I’ve been looking all over for you, baby, then once I found you, waited to get close.

  It’s your mother.

  Don’t make a scene, go to the back like you’re heading toward the bathroom and then leave out the backdoor.

  It isn’t safe for me to approach you. It isn’t safe for anyone to see me.

  But I can’t wait to hold you.

  Come alone and make sure you aren’t followed. -Mama

  After I finished reading the note, my heart beating a mile a minute, I scanned the bar, looking for anyone that might be my Mom.

  My Mom!

  In a gay bar!

  I didn’t care where I saw her; I just wanted to see her.

  There were women here and there but most of them were sitting at the Rock Chick table.

  Then, I thought, why on earth was I hanging around?

  I dropped the note and, without delay, I headed toward the bathroom. But I didn’t even bother acting like I was going to use the facilities. I walked straight to the end of the hall, pushed open the back exit door and I was outside.

  The door closed behind me and I looked around. There was a muted streetlamp that illuminated the dank back alley. There were several dumpsters, some stacked boxes, some old kegs but no Mom.

  I stepped out further away from the door. “Mom?” I called.

  Then I felt movement behind me, I started to turn but he had me.

  I began to scream but a hand went over my mouth and I was yanked into his body, hand at my mouth, other arm rough around my waist.

  “Sweet, sweet Sadie.” I heard crooned in my ear and, at his words, I started to tremble.

  I knew that voice. It wasn’t Ricky Balducci. It was his brother, Harvey.

  He was walking forward, taking me with him, talking in his Crazy Balducci Croon the whole time. “Sweet Sadie, bein’ stupid, bein’ very stupid.”

  I tried to pull free, twist my head away and I made noises under his hand as loud as I could.

  “Got herself protection, got herself some boys who think they can fuck with the Balduccis. Didn’t Ricky teach you nothin’?” Harvey said in my ear, still walking, pushing me forward.

  My heart was beating so hard it hurt. I was twisting my head sharply at the same time struggling against his other arm.

  I was no match; he had six inches and at least a hundred pounds on me.

  Someone, please tell me this was not happening. Not again.

  “I won’t make the same mistake as Ricky. When I’m through with you, you’re still alive, you’ll call off the boys and you’ll keep your fuckin’ mouth shut about Ricky.”

  No, it seemed like it was going to happen again. Unless I could stop it.

  I opened my mouth and bit into the flesh of his hand so hard I felt his blood fill my mouth. At the same time I lifted a Jimmy Choo boot and slammed the spiked heel down on his foot and immediately made a mammoth effort to twist free.

  Harvey yelled out in pain, released me and I took off, spitting his blood out to the side as I did.

  “You fuckin’ bitch!” he screamed in rage and in a flash he caught up with me, arm around my waist, he swung me up and around and then planted me on my feet all the while I tore at his arm with my fingernails.

  I no sooner was set on the ground when something strong wrapped around my wrist.

  Before I could lift my head, I was pulled free from Harvey with such force I went sailing and only stopped when I collided with something else.

  I looked up to see what I collided with, ready to flee, and saw Eddie.

  I didn’t flee mainly because it was Eddie but also because his arm went around my waist, not in a Harvey way, in a hold-her-before-she-falls way and he pulled me back a few steps then stopped. When he stopped, his other arm came around me and he pulled me close to his body.

  I kept looking at him partially still panicked, partially so relieved I could cry that this episode with a Balducci had a different ending than the last one. Then I saw Eddie’s face was scary s
tony and his eyes were locked on something beyond us.

  I looked at that something.

  Hector had Harvey Balducci pinned against the brick wall with nothing but his hand at Harvey’s throat. Lee was standing two feet behind and beside him. Harvey was gagging and trying to tear at Hector’s hand, kicking out uselessly with his feet. It was not just gagging; it was eyes bugging out, face getting purple, life flashing before your eyes gagging.

  I stood, my heart thundering, and tried to get my thoughts in order.

  Then my thoughts came into order and I realized that Hector was strangling Harvey. Not only that but Eddie and Lee weren’t doing a thing to stop him. Not one thing.

  Visions of Hector wearing prison blues filled my head and he didn’t look half as good in prison blues as he did in those jeans and that skintight t-shirt.

  The visions spurred me into action and I pulled against Eddie’s arms but they went solid.

  “Stop!” I shouted.

  Neither Hector nor Lee looked at me. I struggled against Eddie’s hold but he held on tight.

  “Stop! Stop it! Stop!” I screeched.

  Then I heard more people arrive, female exclamations and gasps then running feet.

  “Lee, do something!” Indy was beside me and she was shouting at Lee.

  Lee didn’t move; he just watched Hector like it was some kind of weird, new-fangled, in the alley behind a gay bar outdoor play.

  I tell you, bizarre.

  Then I saw a whirl of motion and Daisy was there. She charged Hector full on, head down moving with such velocity she knocked him to the side.

  Thank God. Little Daisy to the rescue and no prison blues for Hector.

  I sagged against Eddie.

  The relieved sag lasted two seconds then I straightened and went tense because Daisy wasn’t trying to save Hector from a murder charge. She was trying to get to Harvey.

  And got to him she did.

  I watched frozen as she went at him, nails scratching, boots kicking and fists punching.

  Harvey was bent over, sucking in air at the same time trying to ward Daisy off.

  He failed.

  No one tried to stop Daisy either. No one.

  Somehow she got him on his back and jumped him, beating him about the face and chest completely out-of-control. So out-of-control, I could hear her grunting and crying hysterically, all at the same time.

  “You…” Punch. “Let…” Another punch. “Sadie…” Claw to the face. “Alone.” Then she leaned into his face and she finished on a high-pitched screech, “You let her alone!”

  Finally I yanked free of Eddie and ran to Daisy, grabbing her from behind by her raised wrist, my other arm going around her waist. She fought me and we struggled as I pulled her up.

  “Daisy, it’s me,” I whispered in her ear, holding on tight. “Sadie. I’m fine. I’m okay.”

  Daisy whirled on me, breaking from my hold as I noticed Eddie move around us and felt movement behind us as Hector, Lee and Eddie, soon to be joined by an advancing Tex and Buddy, started to deal with Harvey.

  “You ain’t fine!” Daisy screamed in my face. “And you ain’t okay!”

  “Daisy –” I started.

  “You can’t do this alone!” She was still screaming, tears streaming down her face. “I know it, I know it. You can’t do this alone.” She put her hands over her face and cried behind them, mumbling a repeated, “You can’t do it alone.”

  Cautiously, I got close and then, feeling strange, I slid my arms around Daisy like Buddy or Ralphie would slide their arms around me.

  “I’m not alone,” I whispered to her bent head.

  She raised wet eyes to me, they were bright and they were flashing. “Damn straight,” she snapped.

  I couldn’t help it, her snapping a full of attitude “damn straight” with tears streaming down her face for some reason struck me as funny.

  “You need a screaming orgasm,” I told her authoritatively like I even knew what one was.

  She blinked. “What?” she asked.

  “The shots I was buying everyone before I came out here. They should be done by now.”

  She stared at me like I might just be touched then nodded slowly. “Well, sugar, I gotta admit, you’re right. I could use a screaming orgasm about now.”

  “Let’s get you inside,” I said, moving my arm to around her shoulders and leading her toward the backdoor.

  I looked and saw all the Rock Chicks and Ralphie standing by the door and all of them were watching me.

  Maybe one day I could deal with them all at once but right then I’d been attacked (again!) by a Balducci and Daisy was in no shape for anything but whatever a screaming orgasm was.

  So I looked away from them and kept going in a beeline toward the backdoor while I went on, “Maybe we’ll order one of those sex on the beaches too.”

  * * * * *

  We all (that was, every last one of the Rock Chicks, Ralphie and me) had our screaming orgasms then we had our sex on the beaches then we tried fuzzy navels.

  Hector, Lee and Eddie didn’t join us for our Festival of Shots but Buddy and Tex came back, faces tight and set and they looked like they were standing guard.

  No kidding, standing guard.

  I looked around, tried to find the bartender who gave me the note but he was nowhere to be seen.

  Indy disappeared then for some reason Diva Drag Queen of the Evening, Burgundy Rose came out (Indy at her side), walked right up to me and pulled me into a deep hug.

  I stood there rigid with shock at this new unexpected turn of events but she didn’t seem to mind. In fact, after she was done hugging me, she gave me a huge, loud kiss on the cheek then leaned back and started swiping at the lipstick with her thumb.

  “I’m Tod,” she said in a male voice, still swiping my cheek with her thumb.

  “Hi Tod,” I said without anything else to say like “What in the heck are you doing?” or an Ice Princess “How dare you touch me?”

  “I’m a Rock Chick by default,” Burgundy Rose/Tod said.

  “Oh,” I replied, sounding stupid. Well, that explained it.

  “I’m Indy’s neighbor,” he went on and stopped swiping my cheek. Thankfully, it was my good cheek, but still.

  “Okay.” I still didn’t know what to say.

  “What size shoe are you?” he asked, apropos of nothing.

  I stared at him then thought it best to answer. “Six and a half.”

  “Damn,” he muttered, “I could work those boots.” I kept staring and he kept explaining, giving a flick of his hand to the Rock Chicks. “All the girls share shoes; we’re all the same size.”

  “Oh,” I repeated, a little stunned that he might want to borrow my boots. Not that I minded, of course, just that I’d never had a girlfriend (or a gay boyfriend for that matter) who wanted to borrow my boots.

  For some reason, the idea of him wanting to borrow my boots made the weird cold I’d felt since Harvey got hold of me melt clean away.

  “Oh well, I can admire them from afar. Not like I haven’t had tons of experience with that,” Tod shared then his head snapped around toward the stage and he muttered, “Shit, gotta go, song’s about over.” He gave me another cheek kiss, another thumb swipe at the lipstick he planted there and then he was off.

  I stared at his beaded-gowned back.

  Now, seriously, how bizarre was that?

  I was still staring when Hector and Lee appeared.

  I hadn’t yet recovered from my encounter with the Drag Queen when Hector took my hand in his, firmly in his, and without a word to me or anyone, he walked me out the front door through the parking lot, straight to his Bronco.

  I didn’t struggle. My night was way too weird to struggle. I didn’t have it in me. I was just going to let the rest of my night ride out to its conclusion. I figured that was best.

  Veronica Mars would have a wisecrack to deliver but I hadn’t yet made it to the Wisecracking Sadie version of my new self. I couldn’t ev
en order shots competently. I was in no position to offer a smart-mouthed remark.

  He stopped me at the side of his Bronco with a tug on my hand and then got close. I did a quick scan of the parking lot but there was no sign of Eddie or Harvey.

  “Where’s Harvey?” I asked, looking anywhere but at Hector.

  “Mamita, look at me.”

  I kept avoiding his eyes and started to say, “I should probably –”

  When he spoke again, his voice was edging away from gentle. “Sadie, goddamn it, look at me.”

  I looked at him. He lifted the hand he still held, got closer and pressed our clasped hands against the heat of his hard chest, mine on the inside.

  Oh my.

  “You want your friends with you, okay, but right now, we’re goin’ to the Station and you’re gonna press charges against Ricky and Harvey Balducci.”

  Oh no I was not.

  I tried to step back but Hector’s hand tightened. It didn’t hurt but it sent a message, a message I read and listened to for reasons completely unknown or maybe reasons I didn’t want to know.

  “Marty and Donny Balducci won’t get near you, you have my word on that,” Hector went on.

  Without a way to retreat, I just shook my head. Hector’s other arm slid along my waist and he brought me closer to his body. So close our bodies were grazing from hips to waist to belly.

  My entire mind focused on the body grazing.

  “Sadie, I’m askin’ you to be smart.”

  “I am being smart,” I replied, still thinking about nothing but his body and my body and his body grazing my body.

  “Tell me what’s in your head,” he encouraged softly.

  What was in my head was that I was still thinking about his body touching my body, how I liked it and I feared it, both of those feelings swirled and agitated and were making me a crazy mixture of scared, confused and excited.

  “I need you to let me go,” I whispered, mind getting muddled with panic, my eyes on his throat.

  “Sorry?” he asked.

  I tilted my head back to look at him. “Please,” I said so softly even I could barely hear it. “Let me go.”

  Without hesitation his hand released mine, his arm went from around my waist, I took a step back but he wasn’t ready to let me go completely.