Love Inspired March 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: North Country FamilySmall-Town MidwifeProtecting the Widow's Heart

by Lois Richer

  “For you, of course.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “The birthing center is in financial trouble. You must know that. You are the director.”

  He nodded.

  “You seem to like it here. You’ve made friends, settled in at church.”

  “Yes, but what does that have to do with buying the center?”

  Nana shook out the towel and refolded it. “It was probably only a matter of time before your grandfather and JMH set their eyes on your center.”

  Jon was still having trouble putting the pieces together. He drilled his gaze into hers. “Which, according to the newspaper article, they did. How is Grandfather involved? Did you really put together the offer yourself or did Grandfather make you? Did he want the center and need you and your friends to finance it?” He shot his questions at her.

  She pulled back from him and hurt shone in her eyes. “I invited him in on the deal as part of a reconciliation.”

  Jon stared at her.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I was going to go back to him eventually. I have nearly sixty years of my life invested in him and our marriage.” Her voice dropped. “And I love him.”

  Jon shrank into the couch back, sorry about bombarding her with questions and his reaction to her reconciling with Grandfather. That was her business and he respected that, as Nana had always respected his decisions without trying to manipulate him to her way like his parents and Grandfather.

  “I still don’t understand how I fit in. After the takeover, I’m sure Grandfather’s first move will be to fire me as director and put in one of his people.”

  “Jonathan Mitchell Hanlon.” Nana punctuated each syllable of his name with a wave of her finger. “While you and your grandfather have your differences, he’s not the devil incarnate you make him out to be, which is why he agreed he and JMH would be a silent partner. My investor group wants to be able to call on his experience without applying his usual business model to the center.”

  “When I called, he told me that he’s only a silent partner. I didn’t believe him. He also refused to give me any information about the takeover, said to ask you and hung up on me.” In his frustration, Jon didn’t care if he sounded like a petulant child.

  “His people skills aren’t the best. One of the reasons he needs me.” She touched his hand. “He’s happy to have you in on this family venture. Trust me.”

  He pushed against the old longing to have family ties that didn’t come with strings attached. “Good to know I won’t be out of a job. I hope the rest of my staff won’t be, either.” His thoughts went to Autumn and the new position he’d requested.

  “Staffing would be up to you as director, and your new contract would have stock options to give you an ownership interest in the center.”

  He froze at stock options. It was as if Nana were trying to tie him to the center for some reason. Autumn? Although Nana obviously liked her, he couldn’t see his grandmother going to such extremes to play matchmaker. Nor did she have to.

  “Nana. What aren’t you telling me?”

  “I thought you’d be happy with my helping you do want you want to do, like when I helped you with medical school. Brad was right.”

  Brad? Jon rubbed his temples. What did Angie’s husband have to do with this? If he didn’t know his grandmother had been instrumental in putting together a major business buyout, he’d be concerned about senility.

  “You don’t intend to stay at the center. You never did. You really do plan to go to Haiti.” Nana’s voice grew quieter with each word and Jon’s temperature rose.

  She wanted to buy the birthing center to keep him from his medical mission? A pain split his head that no amount of rubbing his temples would relieve. Nana didn’t do that. She didn’t use money to manipulate him. That was the realm of his parents and Grandfather. While Grandfather was involved, he wasn’t the instigator this time.

  “You knew that. I told you I’d been called to serve in Haiti.” Jon tamped down his disappointment and anger to keep his tone even.

  Nana’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I thought you’d change your mind once you found a position you liked that would let you practice the way you want, among people who needed you. I thought you’d found that here.”

  He had in a lot of ways. But he still felt compelled to go to Haiti and help set up a better program of maternal care so Angie’s death wouldn’t seem so senseless. He believed that was his calling, what God wanted him to do. To be there for the women of Haiti who, like Angie, needed his medical expertise and had no one else to provide it.

  “I wanted to keep the center open so you wouldn’t lose what you’ve found. When Angie’s husband mentioned that you’d applied to Help for Haiti and plan to leave when your contract in Ticonderoga is up next year, I got scared. I lost Angie. I can’t lose you, too.”

  Now she was being irrational. “You’re not going to lose me if I go on a medical mission to Haiti.” He took a breath. “You could lose me if you use your money to manipulate me.”

  “I’m not doing that. I didn’t mean to do that. I simply wanted to give you the support your parents never had. I’m an old woman. Forgive me if I’ve hurt you. I mean well.”

  He hugged her. “Of course I forgive you.”

  And I pray you—and Autumn—will forgive me for what I have to do.

  * * *

  Nana was gone when he got up the next morning. She’d left him a note saying she’d gone ahead to adult Sunday school without him and would be leaving right from church to go visit Grandfather. She hadn’t mentioned the visit yesterday. He hoped his silent treatment last night hadn’t caused her to leave. There hadn’t been anything more to say after their evening talk. He was glad that the note said she was picking up his youngest cousin from college in Schenectady to share the drive downstate. Westchester County was a long drive from Paradox Lake for someone Nana’s age.

  He rubbed his eyes and looked at the kitchen clock again. Ten-fifteen. He’d slept past the start of service, too, which wasn’t surprising since he hadn’t fallen asleep until sometime after three-thirty. He needed to talk with Autumn. Tell her what he’d found out from Nana. See if talking with someone else could dispel the emptiness inside him that had kept him awake most of the night.

  The light on the coffeemaker was off, so the half pot on the burner was most likely cold. He poured a cup anyway and stuck it in the microwave. Something physical might help. He peered out the window. By the looks of the gray clouds moving in, he should have just enough time to run his usual route around the lake before Autumn got home from church and the rain started. His heart thumped in trepidation about facing her.

  * * *

  Autumn watched Jon out of her window, something she’d found herself doing all too often. He jogged up the front walk and hesitated a moment before taking the path to his door, allowing her a nice view of his T-shirt plastered across his chest. No one, not even her, could argue that the man wasn’t beautiful. She’d missed him at church and wondered why he hadn’t come and why his grandmother had hurried off without stopping in at coffee hour. But that wasn’t her business. Her only business today was finding out what he’d learned about the birthing center sale.

  She went upstairs to change out of her dress and was in the middle of making her bed when a knock sounded at the door. Her breath caught. Jon with the information about the birthing center? She ran downstairs.

  “Hey,” he said through the screen, looking every bit as handsome in the dry polo shirt he’d changed into as he did in his T-shirt.

  “Hey, yourself. Come on in.”

  He let himself in and stood by the door. “I talked with Grandfather and Nana about the birthing center sale. Nana was the one with more information.”

  Her chest tightened. Was that why Mrs. Hanlon had acte
d strangely when she’d gone over yesterday to find Jon? She knew about the takeover? But she’d told Jon before that she hadn’t. “Sit down.”

  He strode over and lowered himself onto the couch. She sat in the chair across from him on a premonition that she’d want to have some space between them when he shared what he’d found out.

  “Nana is one of the individual investors on the buyout deal. In fact, she put it together.” He leaned back and studied her.

  She wasn’t going to let him disarm her with his slow, steady perusal. This was her livelihood they were talking about. “Why? And what about JMH?” she shot back.

  “JMH is involved for its and Grandfather’s expertise. And as part of a reconciliation between Nana and Grandfather. JMH is a minor, supposedly silent, partner.”

  “Your grandmother is buying the birthing center in order to reconcile with your grandfather?” She knew that Jon’s family moved in a different world than she and her family did, but what Jon had said still sounded crazy to her.

  His shoulders slumped. “No, she put the buyout deal together for me.”

  That made no more sense than what he’d said about his grandparents.

  “I’m not doing this very well,” he said with a lopsided grin that went straight to her heart.

  “No, you’re not.”

  “I’ll start over.” He explained what he’d learned from his grandmother. “She and Grandfather, so she says, thought the buyout was a good way to bring me back into the family.” He leaned forward, elbow on knees. “You have to understand that with my family, business and career is all there is. They think you can buy love.” His voice dropped. “They’re not like your family, except Nana.”

  His grandmother’s going in with his grandfather to buy Jon a medical facility sounded like she also ascribed to the “buy love” philosophy, too. At least in part. “This is your family’s way of reconciling. Your grandmother and grandfather and your grandfather and you?”

  “As strange as it sounds, yes. And Nana wanted to keep me at the center.”

  Finally, something that Autumn could understand. If JMH alone or another health-care corporation took over the center, Jon very well could be asked to leave so it could appoint its own director. With his grandmother’s deal, the center could stay open with Jon as director. Her mind jumped to the staff position Jon had all but offered her. Joy filled her. She and Jon could continue to practice at the center, stay in Paradox Lake. Together with the rest of the current staff, they could model the center as the caring facility they both wanted.

  “But I can’t stay.”

  Autumn jerked up in the chair. “You’re leaving?”

  He dropped his head in an almost-imperceptible nod. “I signed a one-year contract with Adirondack Medical intending to leave when the contract is up and serve with Help for Haiti for a year or two.”

  A sense of betrayal immobilized Autumn. But Jon didn’t owe any loyalty to the center beyond the terms of his contract. Her stomach churned. Or to her, really. As much as she wanted it, their feelings for each other were too new to bind them.

  “Now I’ll have to leave sooner. Nana admitted that she did all this to keep me from going to Haiti. She has an irrational fear that she’ll lose me like she lost Angie. I can’t let her, however well-meaning her intentions, manipulate me, keep me from my calling to serve in Haiti any more than I could accept my parents’ and grandfather’s machinations to make me become a surgeon.” He opened his hands, palms out toward her. “I’m committed to using my training to do everything I can to protect other women, families, from facing the tragedy Angie’s did, to do my part to right her death. And I’m called to do that work in Haiti.”

  “You’ve prayed on it? You’re sure it’s a calling and not unresolved grief?” She knew it was a self-centered question. But the dynamics of the birthing center, her involvement there, would change if Jon left. His grandmother might rescind the buyout offer. The center could close. Her life—professional and personal—would change dramatically.

  “It’s what I believe.”

  He hadn’t really answered her question.

  “I know this sounds selfish. Paradox Lake is your home. But come with me to Haiti. We work so well together. Think of how much we have to offer, what we could give to women who really need our help—give free from the politics of the birthing center sale, free from JMH.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. Was this Jon’s way of making a commitment?

  “You wouldn’t have to serve as a midwife. They have as great a need for delivery nurses.”

  That wasn’t why she was hesitating to respond. “Haiti is a long way from Paradox Lake, from my family and friends.”

  “You’d only have to sign on for a year.”

  “I’ll think about it. And pray on it. But to be honest, I’m not sure that’s my calling.” She ignored the pang that struck her heart. “There’s a great need for medical people here in the Adirondacks, and my dream has always been to practice right here at home.”

  “Your dream or what your family expects of you?” he gently challenged her. “They’ve all stayed here or come back to Paradox Lake. That doesn’t mean you have to.”

  “I know. And I have lived elsewhere.” And when she had, she’d always wanted to come back to the Adirondacks. Maybe she should think about why.

  “People can manipulate with love as much as they manipulate with money.”

  She stared at him, a sadness enveloping her. “My family’s love isn’t manipulative any more than our Savior’s is. Dad and Gram and Gramps and everyone else give it freely. No one is tying me to Paradox Lake with their expectations. In fact, back when I was in high school, Aunt Jinx did everything she could to get me to go away to college. I—” she emphasized the word “—truly love it here.”

  Defeat marred his handsome features. “Sometimes,” he mumbled, “I think His love is manipulating me with this compulsion to go to Haiti and somehow avenge Angie’s death.” He dropped his chin to his chest.

  She stood and moved over to the couch, taking his hand in hers. His head shot up.

  “That’s not His way. I’d like you to pray with me on this,” she said. She didn’t wait for his affirmation. “Dear Lord, open our hearts to accept what’s best for each of us and for our loved ones.”

  His “amen” drowned out hers, but not her conflict about joining him in Haiti.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Autumn was still wrestling with her decision about Haiti a week later when she arrived at the birthing center for her Monday afternoon appointment with a new expectant mother. The starlit cruise of Lake George with Jon had almost induced her to say yes. She’d retreated to undecided in the days since.

  Jon had been so busy with meetings at the medical center in Saranac Lake about the sale, appointments and deliveries that they’d barely seen each other. So she’d asked Jamie to check Jon’s schedule this morning to see if he was available at lunchtime and packed the surprise picnic she had in the basket on her arm.

  “Hi,” she said to the receptionist. “Is Dr. Hanlon in?”

  The woman looked at the picnic basket and grinned.

  Ah, the birthing center grapevine at work.

  “No, he’s not back from Saranac Lake yet.”

  Jamie hadn’t said anything about him having a meeting at the medical center this morning.

  “Autumn.” Jon’s voice sounded behind her. “Just the person I’m looking for.”

  She felt herself blush at the enthusiasm in his words and what the receptionist might be thinking.

  “I have some good news.” He reached for the picnic basket. “I’ll take that for you.”

  She let him. “I made us a picnic lunch to have before your afternoon appointments.”

  “Perfect. Come on down to my office.”

&n
bsp; Autumn felt the receptionist’s gaze on her as they walked down the hall, but she didn’t care.

  Jon put the basket on the table in his office and Autumn spread out the food. “What’s your good news?”

  “I got a call from the director at Help for Haiti first thing this morning.”

  Autumn stilled with the plate she was holding hovering midway between the basket and the table.

  “He said the organization had received an unexpected large donation and has the funding for us to go as soon as next month.”

  “Us? You told him about me?”

  “Sure, right after I’d invited you to come with me. I sent him your vitae that’s on file here at the center. He said they can always use nurses and midwives.”

  She placed the plate on the table before she dropped it. “What did you tell him this morning?” Dread filled her.

  “That we accept. He’s sending the job offers for us to review. He’ll be calling to interview you after I let him know I’ve told you. It’s just a formality,” he assured her.

  “Just like that? Without asking me? I haven’t made my decision.” Or maybe I have now.

  His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean? The cruise on Lake George...”

  “I said I was leaning toward going to Haiti. I didn’t say I’d actually decided.” Apparently, Jon had heard what he wanted to hear.

  “It probably won’t be as soon as next month, if that’s your concern.”

  She steeled her heart against the plea in his voice.

  “When I tendered my resignation at the medical center this morning, I agreed to stay at the birthing center until they or the new birthing center owners found someone to replace me.”

  “You resigned? You’re going whether I am or not?” She choked the words out.

  Confusion clouded his face. “I thought you understood. I made a commitment to myself to do this.”

  But not a commitment to her. How foolish of her to open her heart to Jon, to think he’d changed his love-them-and-leave-them ways. Except in her case, it wasn’t for another woman, but for a shadow from his past.