Distorted Hope

by Marissa Honeycutt

“I am,” a male voice with an accent replied. British, I think.

  I held my breath, waiting to hear if there was another female brought in, like I had been, but all I heard was Patrón invite the new person to sit down.

  I heard creaking as people sat down in the chairs around me. Colin cursed quietly and stiffened as he came in my mouth. I fixed his pants and then stayed in place until I was given leave to move.

  “Where’s Kyra?” Mark asked from behind me.

  I felt a tap on my head and looked up to see Patrón motioning for me to turn around. Shame filled me as I stood and turned around to face Mark. What would he think?

  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man more surprised than Mark at that moment. He stared at me for a moment and then shot a dirty look at Patrón. “What the fuck is going on, Nathan?”

  Patrón’s tone held a warning. “Be careful, Mark.”

  Mark’s dark eyes darted back and forth between us.

  “She’s where she should have been all along. We can discuss it further at a later time.” Patrón’s voice was firm. “It’s been a long trip. Would you like her?”

  Mark still hadn’t recovered from his shock and just stared at me. I gave him a small smile.

  “If you don’t, I’m sure one of the others would like her.”

  Mark pressed his lips together and looked at me for a moment longer, then nodded. “Come sit by me, Kyra,” he said in a gentle voice.

  I quickly made my way around the table and sat on the floor between his and Patrón’s chairs.

  “I apologize for that, Austin,” Patrón said in a cordial voice. “There have been some changes around here Mark was unaware of.”

  “I see,” Austin said. “I believe he told me you were engaged.”

  “Yes. That is one of the changes.”

  “Ah.”

  Patrón asked about traveling, and the conversation veered away from the uncomfortable subject. Mark put his hand on my head and stroked gently. I closed my eyes, savoring the touch of someone I knew cared about me. Not that the other men disliked me; I knew they liked me. But Mark… Mark was protective of me. He was the one who brought me and I think he felt a little responsible for me.

  Mark put slight pressure on the side of my head and I looked up, wondering if he wanted a blowjob. I started to move and he shook his head. “You’re tired,” he said quietly. “Rest your head on my leg.”

  I gave him a grateful smile and did so. His hand didn’t leave my hair and I found myself drifting off to the sensation. It had been over a month since I’d been touched like this. The other guys weren’t mean, by any stretch of the imagination, unless they were playing so. They treated me with respect. But I missed gentle caresses.

  I suddenly felt myself being lifted.

  “She’s a slave, Mark,” Patrón said. “Treat her as such.”

  “I will treat her as I wish. That’s one of the benefits of having a slave, isn’t it?”

  “We need to talk in the morning.”

  “Yes, we do.” Mark turned quickly and walked away, to the stairs, I assumed. That was confirmed when we started going up.

  “I’m awake, sir. I can walk myself.”

  “Don’t call me ‘sir’, Kyra,” Mark muttered.

  “I’m sorry,” I said quickly.

  Mark stopped at the top of the stairs and looked down at me, cradled in his arms. “What happened?” he asked in a bewildered voice.

  I hadn’t cried in almost a week, but I felt my eyes burning as the tears threatened to return. Mark kissed my forehead and walked quickly to his room, closing the door behind him.

  I hadn’t been in here before, though I knew where his room was. It was a good-sized room, almost as big as my old room, though more square than L-shaped. He had a king-size bed in the middle of the back wall and a desk with a computer on it next to the door. A pocket door in the far wall opened to the bathroom.

  He set me down on my feet and pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me. That did it. I lost it.

  I cried hard as he held me, stroking my back and massaging the back of my head. At one point, he guided me over to the bed and pulled me into his lap, cradling and rocking me. When I tried to stop crying, he told me to cry as long as I needed to, and I cried until I had no more tears left.

  “What happened?” he asked, kissing the top of my head. “You guys were fine when I left.”

  “I got my period,” I explained. “I wasn’t pregnant and he got upset. He said I ruined everything.” In a halting voice, I told him what had happened, from Patrón disappearing and finding him drunk, to hiding in the garden because I was afraid of him. I told him about Patrón’s resolve to not let me in again and his cool kindness to me from that moment on.

  “I wish I had been here.” Mark grimaced. “Maybe I could have helped.”

  “Or maybe he would have just gotten angry at you, too.”

  “I could have taken it.”

  I sighed and leaned against his chest. “It’s okay, Mark. He’s not angry anymore. He just treats me like one of the other girls. Except he won’t use me.”

  “Have the other guys?”

  “Yes.” He growled and I sat up to reassure him. “Only because Patrón told them to. He kinda threatened if they didn’t. He wanted them to treat me as they treat the other girls.”

  “Has Toby had you?”

  I nodded.

  “Did he hurt you?”

  “No more than I said was okay. I don’t mind playing. It gets my mind off of things for a few hours.”

  “Oh, Kyra. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I’m getting used to it.”

  Mark grimaced. “This is not how it was supposed to go. I wanted him… God, he was acting like he had been when I met him. That is the real Nathan… Who he is when he’s with you. That’s the Nathan I met and the Nathan I had the utmost respect for.” He cradled my cheek. “I’d hoped you would be able to bring it out of him. And you did.” He shook his head. “Maybe if I talk to him…”

  I shook my head. “It’s over, Mark. It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore.” It still hurt, but my heart was healing. Slowly. I sighed. “I’m glad you’re back.”

  He hugged me to him. “Me, too. I didn’t get Luís’ message until I got back in Panama. Otherwise, I would have tried to get back sooner. I don’t know why I didn’t get it. What a SNAFU.”

  “What’s a snafoo?”

  “It’s an acronym: Situation Normal: all fucked up.”

  I giggled and then yawned. It was late and I’d been up late with Toby the night before.

  “C’mon,” he said, helping me to my feet. “Let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.” He pulled the covers back and motioned to them.

  I gave him a sultry smile and pulled my dress off. I couldn’t say I minded the idea of being with him.

  “Kyra!” he exclaimed looking at me with wide eyes. “What are you doing?”

  “Undressing. Don’t you want to have sex?”

  His eyes slowly slid down my body. “I’ve wanted you since the first day on the yacht.”

  I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. “Don’t tease me, Mark.”

  “Why would I tease you about that? I told you I thought you were cute then.” He grinned. “Now you’ve added this sexy little glint in your eyes.” He chuckled. “Never thought I’d have a chance at you, but…” He tilted his head. “I didn’t bring you up here to have sex. I wanted to talk to you.”

  “Oh.” I reached for my dress.

  “That’s not to say I don’t want you, Kyra.” He gave me an apologetic look. “But I am so fucking tired, I don’t know that I could make it enjoyable for either of us.”

  “Do you want a blowjob?”

  “Oh, you’re killing me!” He growled in a teasing manner. “Yes. I do. But you don’t have to…” He trailed off as I pulled him to the bed. “Kyra,” he groaned.

  I pulled off his t-shirt and admired his sexy upper body. I pushed him backward to lie d
own on his back and proceeded to remove his boots and socks. I crawled between his legs and began unfastening his jeans. “Oh, fuck, Kyra,” he murmured, watching me.

  Smiling, I pulled at his jeans. He lifted his hips and was naked five seconds later. I wrapped my hand around his thick cock and licked him from top to bottom, not taking my eyes off him.

  “Your confidence is very sexy,” he murmured, running his hands through my hair. I smiled back before moving forward and taking the head of his cock into my mouth. His head fell backward and he groaned loudly. “Fuck…”

  It didn’t take long for him to come, and I eagerly sucked up every drop he gave me. He lifted his head after a moment. “You’re much better than the last time you did that.”

  I giggled and stood to turn out the light. “I hope so. You were my first sexual experience.”

  Mark chuckled in the darkness and pulled me into bed. “I feel twice as honored now.” He kissed me soundly and then tucked me next to him. “I will make it up to you tomorrow,” he said with a yawn. He was breathing deeply within seconds. I snuggled close and followed suit.

  “Mmm.”

  I tilted my head as the warm mouth nibbled its way up my neck and to my ear. A hand slid up my stomach to cup my breast and squeezed gently.

  “Oh!” I moaned.

  “God, I’ve wanted to do that for months,” murmured a voice in my ear. Mark. He pinched my nipple and I gasped. “So fucking sexy.”

  I turned onto my back to smile up at him. “Hi,” I said in a soft voice, gazing up into his dark eyes.

  He grinned. “Hi.” He leaned down and kissed my breast and then sucked it into his mouth. I arched my back and moaned as his tongue laved at my nipple.

  I ran my fingers through his dark hair and pressed his head to my breast, making him chuckle softly.

  “You’ve really wanted to do this for months?” I whispered as he moved to my other breast.

  He paused and looked up at me with a silly grin. “Especially when you were pregnant. God, your breasts were tantalizing.”

  “You like preggos?”

  “Not usually.” He gave me a sly smile and returned his attention to my breast. “You know what else I’ve wanted to do?” he asked, turning his dark eyes back to me after several minutes of making me groan and arch my back.

  “What?”

  He grinned and moved down between my legs. “This.” He dropped his head and licked from bottom to top, and I gasped.

  “Oh, Mark!” I moaned. He devoured me. My toes and fingers clenched and unclenched as he moved his tongue around the sensitive folds. I hadn’t been eaten in a while and didn’t realize how much I missed it. I tilted my hips up and he delved his hot tongue into my swollen core.

  A dizzying surge of pleasure erupted from where his tongue touched me and I screamed, tightening my thighs around his head, only relaxing the muscles when I floated slowly back to earth.

  I looked down and saw him grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Thank you,” I said with a matching grin.

  He wiggled his eyebrows. “My pleasure. My extreme pleasure.” He crawled upwards and kissed me, his tongue now doing to my mouth what he’d done to my pussy. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his hips.

  “I want to bury myself in your body and never come up for air,” he murmured, kissing my neck.

  “Mmm, I’d be sad if you suffocated.”

  He chuckled. “Me, too, but I’d die a happy man.”

  I rolled my eyes and giggled. “You give good compliments.”

  “I mean them.” He gave me a tender look and kissed me again, and my heart fluttered.

  No, not again. I will not fall in love again. I mentally shook myself and pressed my hips up toward his throbbing erection. “I want you,” I murmured.

  He growled. “That coming out of your mouth is so sexy.” He positioned himself at my entrance and sank into me slowly. I sighed at the sensation. Oh! That feels so good!

  He stroked my cheek and kissed me before moving slowly inside me. I pressed my head back into the pillow and sighed as I met his slow, deliberate thrusts. “You feel amazing,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around him tighter.

  “So do you.” He kissed my neck and bit it. Not too hard, but enough to make me jump and send shivers down my body to my clit. I felt his chest rumble as he groaned, thrusting in deep.

  I loved the way his hips moved against mine. So sensual. So erotic. God, he felt good inside me! Soon, I felt the stirrings inside and sighed into another body-rocking orgasm. Mark cursed and I felt him throbbing. Oh, yes! So good!

  He rolled to his back, pulling me with him, kissing me the whole time. He kneaded my ass and I clenched around his softening cock, making him inhale sharply. “Better than I imagined,” he said with a grin.

  “Mmm,” I mumbled in agreement as I lay my head on his damp chest. I traced the veins in one of his arms while he stroked my back with his other one. This was nice.

  “Fuck, I think we both were tired,” he said with a laugh. “It’s almost lunchtime.”

  “Crap. I missed practice.”

  “Practice?”

  I lifted my head and nodded. “Dance. For the performances?”

  Mark frowned. “He’s having you perform?”

  I shrugged. “I’m just one of the girls now, Mark. I have a room over there, too.”

  Mark closed his eyes for a moment. “Are the girls being nice?”

  “Oh, yes,” I said quickly. “They’ve all been extremely kind. They won’t say anything bad about Patrón, but I know they wish he’d… changed back into the other version of himself.”

  “Do you?”

  I sighed and succeeded in not starting to cry again. “I… I wish he was happy again.” I traced a circle around his nipple. “I miss him. I wish… God, if I hadn’t lost the baby, none of this would have happened.” I lowered my forehead onto his chest and shook my head. “He was so happy. Did you see his face when he found out she was a girl?”

  “No, I was out in the hallway.”

  “He glowed, Mark. I swear, his whole face lit up and he… he was so happy. I miss that. I miss his arms around me. I miss his kisses, his touch.” Tears spilled over my cheeks and onto Mark’s chest. “I miss him.” The ache in my heart returned as I remembered all the happy times I had with Patrón. When he was my Nathan.

  “Maybe I can talk some sense into him. I know he was happy with you.” He kissed my forehead and we lay together for a long time in the silence. Well, relative silence. People were moving around outside, and I could hear the girls giggling out in the yard.

  “I suppose we should get up. Patrón wanted to talk to you this morning.”

  “He can wait. He’s the one who sent you up with me. I hope he’s drowning in jealousy.”

  “I doubt that will happen.”

  “You never know. It might work to wake him up.”

  “Mark, please don’t provoke him. Things are settling down. I don’t want to stir the hornet’s nest.”

  “Maybe that’s what needs to happen.”

  “I don’t think anything will work at this point.”

  My first experience with guests as ‘one of the girls’ came a few months later. I stood in the courtyard as I had when Yuri and Pavel had come, but this time I was in a short dress and standing with the other girls.

  I had heard Mark and Patrón arguing a lot over the last few weeks. Mark said he wouldn’t give up on getting Patrón to, well, not give up, but I wasn’t holding my breath. Patrón was always kind and cool to me and nothing more.

  Sometimes—when I was out in the yard with Amé, Laurie, and Julia—I would swear I could feel him watching me, but when I looked up, there was no one there. I think it was just wishful thinking.

  Mark took me to bed several nights a week. Patrón didn’t seem happy he was practically monopolizing me, but Mark reminded him of his long-standing rule of ‘as long as you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, it doesn’t matter who you
fuck.’ Patrón didn’t liked it when Mark did that. I admired Mark’s cojones in standing up to Patrón, and Patrón seemed to respect Mark enough to let him be.

  Today, the guests who were arriving were from somewhere in the Middle East. Patrón didn’t specify where and it didn’t really matter. I hoped they wouldn’t be interested in me. Usually, the guests pick out a girl and use her the entire time they are at the hacienda. It’s not required, but that was the way it usually worked. I hoped I wouldn’t be one of them.

  Patrón was doing something new this time. We girls would perform on the first night and the last night, so as to give the guests a chance to look us over before choosing one for the week. Not that they had to use the same girl the entire visit, but Patrón thought they might like it. He’d done work with them before and knew they tended to keep one girl. Amé thought maybe Patrón just wanted to see us dance more.

  Pasha had been working on a solo for me. She said I was an excellent dancer and had a great body for belly dancing—tiny waist, curvy hips. My breasts hadn’t gone completely back to normal after my pregnancy and so they filled out the bikini top nicely.

  The dance was extremely erotic and made me feel sexy. Pasha said to make love to the men while I danced—to make sensual eye contact and make them feel special—as if I were dancing only for them. I was to give special attention to any guests who were there. It would help Patrón in his meetings. I was so nervous about dancing tonight, I felt like I was going to throw up.

  The helicopter landed and a while later, Patrón returned to the house with three Arab men dressed in what I thought of as traditional Arab garb. I fiddled with the hem of my short dress as Patrón introduced them to Colin and Austin and then brought them over to us. As Patrón listed off our names, we curtsied in greeting.

  The oldest man in the group said something in Arabic and Patrón responded in kind. I knew Patrón spoke Arabic, so this didn’t surprise me.

  After he introduced us, Patrón sent us off to eat dinner so we could get ready for the performance. The girls talked about the guests during dinner. Quietly, of course, so as not to be overheard.

  “The men who come and visit,” Amé began slowly. “They like to be in control. They like extremely submissive women and some will hurt you if don’t do as they ask.”