Anywhere You Are

by Constance O'Day-Flannery

  "It's not only safe, Jack. It's our reward. Our gift."

  She pulled him closer and kissed him.

  Jack moaned and deepened it, challenging her to go with him, to soar to another level. She gladly followed his lead and when they broke apart, Jack muttered roughly, emotionally, "Anywhere, Mairie Callahan, anywhere you are. I would be with you."

  She let the tears flow down her cheeks. It didn't matter that her mascara was probably running, that she looked stupid when she cried. Nothing mattered but the truth.

  "How about Vegas, and then who knows where? We'll live in the moment and see where it takes us. It worked getting us here, so far. What do you say we go for the adventure of our lives?" She was actually giggling at the thought.

  He chuckled, joining in her excitement, and then pulled her closer until his lips were inches from her own. When he looked down into her eyes, that expression of wonder had come over him. She stared at his mouth as he began to whisper.

  "Hey, partner… I've got your back. You're safe."

  She gasped in awe. No matter what the future held, she knew one thing.

  She was with her mate.

  As they drove away from the field, Jack looked out the window at the passing scenery and said in a quiet voice, "Mathias Boyer."

  Mairie took her right hand from the steering wheel and tightly squeezed his left. Now she knew the name of a mother's son, a father's pride, a brother's friend. Mathias was honored and could rest in peace within Jack's mind.

  He had walked in his ghost's shoes, seen them as invisible, and had reclaimed his life.

  What a gift…

  He sat in the front seat of the four-by-four and looked out over the desert landscape, some of it so unchanged in the last hundred years, he felt as if he could be home, and some changed so drastically that it ate away a little at his gut. There were so many fantastic discoveries, inventions, conveniences, so many improvements in the lives of those who lived now. Yet something crucial seemed to be missing, and Jack couldn't put his finger on it. Not yet.

  He pushed it out of his mind and ran his hand over the leather on the panel in front of him. It wasn't real leather, but that didn't matter. It was still a great machine. He liked it far better than the other vehicles they had used. This one excited him, and this was the first time that he had the opportunity to sit in the front seat while traveling at such speeds. Once he'd gotten used to the motion, he relaxed and started studying the way Marc operated it. He watched how the right foot would push on one pedal to make it go faster and on another pedal to the left to slow it. He couldn't see that Marc did much more than steer it after that, except to operate some lever on the left when he turned.

  Jack knew he could do it.

  He kept his silence for some minutes, trying to decide how he could ask Marc to hand over the control. Dismissing them all, he decided simply to ask. The worst Marc could say was no. But if he didn't ask, he thought he might never have the chance. He sat up straighter and took a deep steadying breath.

  "May I ask a favor, Marc?"

  "Certainly."

  "Would you allow me to operate this vehicle? Just for a few minutes. I would love to know what it's like."

  Wearing a large felt hat, Marc turned to him and pulled his sunglasses down his nose, revealing his eyes. "You want to drive?"

  "Drive. Yes. I would like to drive." At least he didn't refuse right away. Perhaps there was hope.

  Marc turned back to the road. He then looked behind them in a mirror. "Okay," he said, pulling the vehicle over to the shoulder.

  "What's wrong?" Mairie asked from the back.

  Jack hoped she wouldn't object, especially now that Marc was stopping the car. In just moments he could be oper… driving.

  "Our cowboy wants to drive," Marc announced to the back seat.

  "Oh, Jack, do you think you should?" Mairie looked behind them to see if any others were present to witness.

  He nodded firmly. "Yes. It's time I learned."

  She shook her head, but Bryan, who sat next to her, piped up, "Oh, Mairie, let him drive. Nobody's on the road right now. Remember when you wanted to learn? Who taught you?"

  "You did," she said, elbowing him and grinning. "Okay, Jack. Hope you do better than I did. Poor Bryan almost threw up."

  "That was stick shift, kiddo. This is automatic. He'll do fine."

  Jack was suddenly filled with a mixture of excitement and fear. He knew he was being trusted with their lives. Now sitting behind the steering wheel, Jack put his hands on it and breathed deeply. What was it Mairie had called him? A copilot? He felt like one in training now. All right, he could do this. He could pilot this marvelous conveyance.

  Closing the door, he strapped on the belt and put his foot down lightly on the right pedal.

  "You have to shift into drive first," Marc advised through the corner of his mouth. "Between the seats. Press down and shift it into the place marked D."

  "Right," Jack said, following the instruction.

  He pressed his foot to the pedal. The car moved forward so quickly that he became stiff armed against the wheel to brace himself before he slammed down on the left pedal.

  "Take your foot off the brake," Marc said with a laugh, as he braced himself against the leather panel. Everyone was laughing.

  "The left is the brake?"

  "Oh, geez…" Mairie moaned from the back, in between chuckles.

  Marc, at least, was willing to be serious, and Jack was grateful.

  "Left is the brake. Right is the gas. Don't put both feet on them at the same time. Use your right foot to work both. Take your foot off the brake and gently press down on the gas."

  Off the brake, off the brake, Jack mentally repeated. He did as Marc had advised and the vehicle moved forward more smoothly.

  "There," Marc said with a sigh. "Now, steer! Stop looking at your feet!"

  Jack looked up and saw they were heading toward the side of the road. He turned the wheel sharply and everyone yelled at once as sand churned up against the metal belly of the car.

  "Get back, get back!"

  "Go to the right!

  "Stop confusing him!"

  Jack struggled for a few seconds and then brought the vehicle back to the center of the lane.

  "The white lines are our friends, Jack," Marc said as he collected himself "Stay in your lane."

  Mairie and Bryan were laughing like schoolchildren behind him, and he was glad they thought it was so humorous, but he really wanted to get this right. He'd decided that since he was here in this time, he was going to adjust, and the first thing was to purchase a vehicle. Like this one, if he could afford it. What freedom it would provide. To travel so easily, so comfortably, so quickly… anywhere he and Mairie wanted. Yes, he thought, staying within the white lines, they could go anywhere, so long as they were together.

  After a few minutes, he saw another car approaching and his stomach muscles tightened with dread. "Someone is coming," he said, tightening his hold on the steering wheel.

  "Just stay cool, Jack," Marc advised. "You can do it."

  "You're doing great, honey," Mairie said, and stroked the back of his head. "Keep going."

  "Go for it, Jack," Bryan cheered.

  He held his place in the center of the lane as the smaller car came closer. He could do this, he told himself. He had jumped off a mountain with a parachute. He could pass another vehicle.

  And he did.

  Everyone cheered and Jack felt very proud of himself.

  "I want one of these," he stated, trying to control his grin of accomplishment.

  "We'll get a car," Mairie answered.

  "Not a car. I want one of these. It is a most… excellent machine."

  Why was everyone laughing again?

  It was excellent.

  Marc took over driving when the traffic increased. They were traveling west toward the Spring Mountains and Charleston Peak. Jack's exhilaration and excitement at driving lessened as they drove further into Paiut
e Territory. Only it wasn't Paiute Territory any longer. Yesterday, he and Mairie had visited the tiny reservation in the middle of the city; ten small acres were assigned to the people who had lived on this vast desert for a thousand years. Mairie had been right on the night of the Indian celebration. The Paiute needed to continue to teach their children the balanced way. One day… one day, others would listen.

  The road was rough on the mountain and they bounced around a lot. Jack thought it was exciting, and so much faster than when he and Mairie had done it on horseback. He saw refuse on the side of the road and it looked so out of place in the pristine desert, as though modern man had left his mark… and it was dishonorable to the earth. He became quiet and introspective, wondering if he would not again be, as Mairie put it, a stranger in a strange land. He knew he didn't want to stay in Nevada, for it would only be a constant reminder of what had been, and the loss of his Paiute brothers' way of life.

  "This is… is unbelievable," Marc said, maneuvering the four-by-four over the winding road. "Look at that view. Can't say I could live here, but it sure does take your breath away. You guys did this on horse and on foot?"

  "Yes," Mairie whispered, looking out to the valley below them. "It seems so long ago…"

  "It was a different world," Jack said, and he felt Mairie's hand touch his shoulder in a display of compassion. He knew she understood how he felt. It amazed him that words were not always necessary between them. They were in such perfect attunement, that they often seemed able to pick up each other's thoughts. To have found her was worth it, Jack thought not for the first time. He would have left anywhere, anything, to experience her love.

  "Okay, looks like this is it. We can't drive any farther," Marc announced, pulling the vehicle to the side of the road and shutting off the motor. He turned around to the back seat. "Now we walk."

  "It's not far," Jack whispered, remembering throwing himself off this cliff into the unknown. "Just around that bend there." And he pointed to the red outcropping of rocks.

  "Can you do it, Bryan?" Mairie asked in a gentle voice. "You can wait here with Marc and we'll find the cave."

  Bryan opened the back door. "You have got to be kidding," he said with a grin, and slid toward the opening. "You think I came this far to be left in a car?"

  Marc shook his head and muttered as he adjusted his hat in the rearview mirror. "We can't just stay in an air-conditioned car, like civilized people. Oh, no … it's Indiana Jones again, I see."

  "Hey, Marc," Bryan called out, as he stood beside the car. "Notice I'm wearing a baseball cap. You sure you're not the one who wants to be Indian Jones? Look at what you're wearing."

  Marc got out of the car along with Mairie and Jack. He stood for a moment and looked over the roof to Bryan. "You know how my skin burns, and this sun is bloody brutal. I wasn't about to wear a ten-gallon cowboy hat. Sorry, Sundance." He glanced at Jack and apologized. "You can carry it off, while I, on the other hand, happen to look daring and dashing in my felt fedora. If I appear to remind you, Bryan, of your favorite character, then perhaps you're seeing the real me. The adventurer."

  Everyone stood for a moment of silence and then burst out laughing.

  "What? What?" Marc kept asking, as Bryan came up to him and slapped him on the back. "You think leaving Philly and coming out here like this, dodging government agents and hiking up mountains, is not an adventure? This ain't a walk in Fairmont Park."

  "Come on, you daredevil, you," Bryan said with a chuckle. "Let's go find a miracle."

  They hiked the remaining distance, everyone conscious of Bryan's shaky condition. No one spoke. The suspense was undeniable, and Jack realized they all were acutely aware that everything he and Mairie had gone through depended on what they found. Jack wondered if it was a fool's journey, how anything could remain after a hundred and twenty years, but then he glanced at the woman before him and felt the strength of her resolve. If it was there, she would find it.

  She was an amazing woman.

  They stood before the cave and Jack's heart felt so heavy he wanted to yell out to relieve the pain. Above where they were, he could see the ancient drawings of the ancestors desecrated with bullet holes. Men had used that sacred place as target practice and left their cans of beer as further insult. He knew then what was missing from this time.

  Balance.

  It was just as Wovoka had predicted. He remembered the words, spoken after the Spirit Dance…

  I have seen the land of tomorrow and it is troubling. The Indian disappears until only a few are singing the songs of the Father Sun and Sky and dancing the rhythms of Mother Earth.

  The white man conquered and forgot how to dance gracefully in balance with the life force. He thought it could be overpowered, instead of honored. Swallowing down the thickness in his throat, Jack turned his attention back to the people around him, knowing he must find his own place of balance now.

  "Here it is," Mairie whispered to Bryan, grabbing his hand. "I just know it has to be there. We wouldn't have gotten this far for nothing."

  "It's so small," Marc observed in a reverent voice.

  Bryan was staring at the opening of the cave. "All this… Mairie, it really happened. I mean I believed you, but this makes it so real. No matter what we find, or don't. Bless your heart for all of it."

  She squeezed her brother's hand and took a deep breath. "I have been blessed, Bryan. All of it makes sense to me now, even if I had to travel into the past to find my future."

  She glanced at Jack and smiled with such love, he couldn't help but reach out and take her hand. "Come… let us find your miracle, my lady."

  They crawled into the cave as Bryan and Marc squatted at the entrance. It was littered with the debris of both animal and man. Jack went over to the far corner and began digging with the pocket knife he had purchased earlier in the day. How much dirt would accumulate over a hundred and twenty years? Not that much, Jack thought, not in a cave. He continued to dig in the earth until he had gone about six inches.

  "Nothing?" Marc called in a dejected voice.

  Mairie shook her head. "Not yet. Jack, you'll dig further?"

  Nodding, he went back to his task, hoping that the blade would touch something solid, something earthen. Mairie's jar. It didn't.

  She sat back on her heels and looked so dejected that Jack said, "I'll keep trying, love. You never know."

  "I was so hoping…" she whispered, as tears came into her eyes. "Maybe someone found it and threw it away, thinking it was useless."

  Hope. There was that word again. Jack renewed his efforts and hit something hard. Mairie sat up with interest.

  "What do you think?" she asked in a hushed tone.

  He shook his head as he began sifting through the dirt with his fingers. He touched something sturdy and brought up a piece of dirt-encrusted clay. Blowing away the dirt, he handed it over. "What do you think? Could this be it?"

  Mairie took the piece and he saw her hands were shaking. "I don't know," she whispered. "Even if it is, this means the jar was broken and the plant lost."

  "What is it?" Marc asked. "Have you found it?"

  Mairie handed over the piece of clay. "It may be part of the pot. I really don't know."

  Jack continued to bring up fractured pieces of clay and lay them on the ground next to him.

  "It's all right, Mairie," Bryan called out to his sister. "We tried."

  "No, it is not all right, Bryan," Mairie answered, sniffling back her tears. "I really thought… no, I knew it would be here. It was like the driving force in getting back to you, to bring this to you. Wovoka said it would be part of the answer. How can an answer just disappear?"

  "Come out of there, Mairie," Marc called out. "It's been over a century. You've done everything you could."

  "Here, Mairie, look at this," Jack said, handing her a rounded piece with fragments of wax still attached. "Could this be part of your jar? You did seal it with wax."

  She took the piece and, looking at it, sig
hed deeply. "It could be my jar," she said in a broken voice. "That's it, then. The seal is broken. It's gone."

  "My love, I'm sorry." He couldn't find words to comfort her, and he felt helpless.

  She shook her head and gathered up the clay pieces. "I… I guess it was a long shot for anything to have survived intact all this time."

  He could see she was fighting her tears and losing. How he wished with all his heart that her mission of love would have been complete.

  Mairie handed the pieces to Marc and Bryan as she left the cave and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Bryan. I'm sorry I led you on this wild-goose chase for nothing."

  Bryan took her into his arms and hugged his sister tightly. Jack left the cave and brushed his hands on his thighs while he watched the sad scene of Mairie crying against her brother's chest. He felt helpless, hopeless, as he heard Bryan's whisper.

  "Whatever is meant to be, will be, Mar. I'm still going to live every moment I have left."

  "Hey!"

  Everyone turned to see Marc holding something up to the sun.

  "C'mere," he said in an excited voice. "You've got to see this!"

  They all walked over to him and he held out a piece of clay. "Remember Jurassic Park?"

  "Oh, Marc," Bryan scolded, "this is not the time for your movie mania."

  "No, look…" He placed the fragment of clay in his hands and held it in the sun. "Look in the wax. What do you see?"

  "See?" Bryan leaned closer, along with Mairie and Jack. "I don't see anything, except dirt."

  "Not dirt," Marc whispered. "Look closer."

  And they did.

  "Seeds?" Mairie asked in disbelief. "Are they seeds?"

  "That's what it looks like to me."

  "What does that mean?" Jack asked, not seeing why they were so excited. "They are still useless."