Robyn

by Lucy McConnell

  “Tough.” He said with a flirty dose of sarcasm.

  She shoved his arm. They stopped at the first booth, which was filled with hand-knitted hats, scarves, and socks. They were beautiful, with snowflakes and snowmen in the patterns. Robyn picked up a red pot holder with a nine-point snowflake in cream. “I love this.”

  Gabe nodded. “It’s nice. It reminds me of you.” He fingered the yarn. “Let’s get it.”

  Robyn felt silly. “I didn’t pick it up so you’d buy it for me.”

  “I know.” He took the pot holder and handed cash to the woman behind the table. “But I liked the way your eyes lit up when you saw it. And now, every time you use it …” He looked into her eyes. “You’ll think of me.”

  Breathless, Robyn couldn’t look away. That same strange and amazing need she’d felt in Gabe before was back in droves, making her heart pound and her skin flush. She suddenly realized what it was—he needed to take care of her. To protect her. To … to love her.

  Gasping for breath, she reached toward him—to feel him—to make sure he was real. In all the world, she’d never met a man who put her needs above his own. In a quick move, she grabbed the front of his shirt and pressed her lips to his. Releasing him a moment later, she was able to draw a breath.

  “What was that for?” Gabe asked, gasping as much as her.

  “Because I wanted to.” She giggled and threw her arms around his neck. “I want to kiss you.” She knew it. She knew as clearly as she knew that the ovens would preheat to three hundred and fifty degrees in eleven and a half minutes. Love bubbled up inside of her like cream and sugar going into a full rolling boil.

  He laughed. “I’m good with that.” He lowered his mouth to hers and sent fizzles through her entire body.

  The woman behind the desk cleared her throat. “Excuse me folks, but I got paying customers behind you.”

  “Oh!” Robyn jumped back. “Sorry!” She tucked the pot holder into her purse and moved away from the table.

  Gabe took her hand and pulled her to another booth full of nutcrackers that smelled like cinnamon and nutmeg. They had a roaster in the back and candied nuts for sale. The whole thing was adorable.

  Gabe glanced around as if he wasn’t sure.

  “You look overwhelmed.”

  “I have to admit …” He picked up a soldier nutcracker and moved the lever to make it open and close its mouth. “This all seems a bit much.”

  “It does?” She looked around too. There were a half dozen places she’d add greenery, bows, lights, or sprigs of holly.

  “I guess that’s why I don’t do Christmas.” He set the decoration back down. “It’s so much work for just one day a year.”

  Robyn drew her eyebrows down. If anyone knew about work, it was a Kringle. “It’s a ton of effort! There’s the baking, chocolate molds, cooking …” The more she thought about what she should be doing and not where she was, the higher her stress level went up. “Not to mention the packaging and wrapping. Getting a chocolate Santa’s wrapping to match up with the shape is not easy. And then there’s the elf disputes—there’s always one or two during the holidays.”

  Gabe tugged her to a stop. “Elf?”

  She was brought back to the here and now in a blink and laughed nervously. “Well, you know. It feels like there’s elves running around the factory.” Because there were elves running the factory.

  He signaled to the hot chocolate vendor that they’d take two. “I’ll bet.”

  She let out a slow, quiet breath as her throat went slack. That was too close. Gabe handed her a cocoa, and she contemplated the cup in her hand for a moment. At what point would revealing her true identity be a good idea? Maybe she should text her sisters the question. She took a sip of the scalding liquid and grimaced as her tongue burned. She’d wait to send that out—she could only imagine what Stella would have to say on the subject. Ginger would probably tell her to wait until they’d said I love yous. She frowned. Exactly how was that supposed to come about?

  The entrance to the lighted path was off to their right. A tunnel of bright white lights blinked in succession. Perhaps a little holiday romance would speed the moment along. “Let’s take a walk.” She tugged him toward the path, her heart full of hope and her head full of questions.

  Chapter 17

  Gabe

  Gabe held fast to Robyn’s hand as they walked the path through the park. Red, green, white, and even purple lighted Christmas trees were grouped together. Blow-up lawn ornaments dotted the path. Frosty the Snowman waved from one clearing.

  “Look at that.” Gabe pointed with his free hand to a sleigh with a live reindeer harnessed to the front. The sled was apple red, and the brass runners were shiny. “It’s amazing. I wonder what kind of permits they had to get to bring the animal in here and leave it unattended.” He looked around for someone with an official-looking coat, but they were by themselves.

  The reindeer saw them and pawed the ground, shaking his antlers and making the bells on his harness jingle. Gabe moved between it and Robyn. “Do you think it’s safe?”

  Robyn glared at it. “He’s too old to cause much trouble.”

  Gabe looked closer and saw a tuft of gray in the hair. It dug both feet in and snorted at him, raising a giant puff of air.

  He thought he heard Robyn whisper something.

  “What did you say?”

  “I was just telling Dunder to calm down. He seems a bit overprotective.” She spoke through gritted teeth toward the animal.

  “Dunder? How do you know that’s its name?” He looked right into her eyes.

  She swallowed. “It’s on his harness.”

  He whipped his head around and craned his neck to see the green letters running down the side band. “Huh. I must have missed that.” He chuckled. “We’ll move on. Then he’ll calm down.”

  “Don’t worry about him—he has a hard time with any man.” Robyn brushed her hand through the air as if she could brush away his worries. She stepped lively, as if the cold air invigorated her.

  “How do you know that?” He trotted to keep up with her. She walked like she was determined to put as much space between her and the reindeer as possible.

  She shrugged. “I’ve seen it in other animals.”

  “Oh.” He was about to ask her what other animals when a brightly lettered sign caught his eye. “Last stop—Santa.” Joseph had told him to Christmas up the date, and so far the advice worked wonders. He’d gotten an amazing kiss over a pot holder, of all things; Santa was sure to win him some points.

  It wasn’t just a kiss he was after. There was something about seeing Robyn happy that lifted him, made him feel like more of a man. That’s why he’d bought the pot holder for her—her happiness made him happy.

  She pulled back on his hand. “We don’t have to stop. It looks busy.”

  Several children in coats and gloves crowded around Santa and Mrs. Claus. He was listening to their chatter about school and Christmas gifts and everything else. They were winding down and their parents called for them to get going—there were other errands to run.

  “Come on—it’ll be fun.” He tugged her, and she stumbled forward.

  “You asked for it,” she muttered.

  “I think I can handle a visit with Santa,” he teased. Although he was already looking forward to the quiet ride home in his pickup—where carols didn’t fill the air.

  Mrs. Claus, dressed in a red velvet skirt lined in white fur, saw them first. “Robyn!” She grabbed Robyn in a hug and held tight, necessitating Gabe let go of her hand. “I hoped we’d run into you.”

  What? Gabe watched the two and found similarities in their hair color and the shape of their mouths. This couldn’t her mom, could it?

  The last child scampered off, and Santa gave them his full attention. “How’s my girl?”

  Robyn rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, Dad.”

  Gabe’s stomach dropped. He’d unwittingly stumbled into a meet the parents moment. What m
ade it worse was that Robyn had tried to avoid it. Did she not want him here?

  As if she could read his mind, she hooked his elbow and pulled him deeper into the conversation circle. “Gabe, these are my parents, Harvey and Gale Kringle. Mom, Dad, this is Gabe.”

  Gabe looked at them and burst out laughing. “This explains so much. You have the Christmasy-est family I’ve ever met.”

  Harvey put his palms on his round belly and let out a Ho Ho Ho. “That’s nice of you to say.”

  Gabe cringed internally. He hadn’t meant it as a compliment so much as an observation. The whole idea of having a mom and dad who dressed up like Santa was kind of weird. Did Harvey keep that beard all year long? Did he think it helped him in the candy business they were in? Was that his angle? The sisters had bought right into it—had thrown themselves behind the whole Santa persona. Especially Ginger in her getup the other night. Did they all dress like that? He’d never make it in a family that wore costumes all year round. He was already having a hard time with how their level of holiday cheer—it couldn’t be real. No one was that happy all the time.

  As much as he liked Robyn, maybe even loved her, Father Santa was hard to swallow.

  Gale pulled him in for a surprise hug. She smelled like a pumpkin pie, cinnamon and warmth. “It’s so good to meet you, Gabe. My girls have been talking about you nonstop.”

  “I’ll bet they have,” Robyn groused. “Don’t listen to a thing Stella says.”

  Gabe stepped back, his neck warm with embarrassment. “I don’t think she’s my biggest fan.”

  Gale swatted at the air, just like Robyn had a few minutes before. The more time he spent with her, the more he could see where Robyn got her beauty. Thankfully, she’d taken after her mother. The snow-white hair was pretty on Frost, but he couldn’t imagine Robyn without her dark curls.

  “Don’t worry about her. She’ll come around,” Gale assured him.

  Gabe rocked back on his heels, trying to come up with something to say. The elephant in the room was just too big, and he had to point a finger in that direction. “So do you guys do this Santa gig every year?”

  Harvey Ho Ho Ho’d again. “I used to do a whole lot more, but I’m semi-retired now.”

  More? More! What more was there to do than greet children? “I’ll bet the kids in the park love it. You certainly fit the part.”

  Everyone laughed as if he’d said something really funny. He smiled, not sure what the joke was about but not wanting to come off rude. They could have been laughing at him. A general sense of unease settled in the back of his mind. He pushed it back, trying to just be in the moment with Robyn and focus on why he liked being with her. Her family was important to her, and therefore he’d try, no matter how wacky they seemed. And they were wacky—there was no doubt about that.

  And they were close. Her sisters dropped in whenever they felt like it at the safe house. He never heard them coming, but they’d be there, baking, reading, talking, singing, and generally filling the place with noise.

  “Let’s get down to business, shall we?” asked Harvey.

  “Business?” Gabe echoed.

  “Your Christmas wish. I can’t make it come true if I don’t hear it.” Harvey tapped the back of his ear and winked. His blue eyes sparkled. Wow! He was good at his job.

  Gabe had met several of Santa’s helpers through the years. There were guys in fake beards and red suits that stopped by the foster homes with a bag of gifts. When he was seven, he saw the giving tree at Walmart and realized where those presents had come from. Though he was grateful for the kindness of strangers, the magic of Christmas was lost. He hadn’t sat on Santa’s lap since.

  Gabe angled away from him. “I’m not wishing tonight. We’re here for Robyn.” He wouldn’t have come to the light show at all if it weren’t for her.

  “I think we already know Robyn’s Christmas wish.” Gale winked.

  “So that means all we have to do is get yours.” Harvey patted his stomach again, his white gloves in deep contrast to his red suit and black belt. There probably wasn’t even padding under there. He really made a magnificent Santa. But that didn’t mean Santa was real. Just like all the other hopes and dreams Gabe had through the years that faded with the responsibilities of caring for a kid brother when he was still a kid himself. Santa was a farce.

  He looked into Robyn’s eyes and saw hope brimming there. She wanted him to make a wish. He thought for a moment, but his mind was blocked. He just … couldn’t.

  “No thanks.” He glanced at the hard-packed snow beneath his shoes. “It was nice to meet you, but I think it’s time we head back to the safe house.” He headed for the exit. There was already a line of fifteen kids not-so-patiently waiting their turn with the jolly old elf.

  The night had taken a turn towards the cold, and he shivered. Hunching into his coat, he tried to hold off the black cloud that threatened, but it just wouldn’t leave. Meeting Robyn’s parents was interesting and disheartening. Where they were smiles and winks, he was seriousness and paying the bills. Where they were Christmas cheer, he was a Grinch. Where they were wishes and hope, he was reality. They dressed up as fictional characters, and he couldn’t even make a Christmas wish.

  Robyn was all things Christmas. She was joy and hope, giving and surprises.

  They say opposites attract, and they had. He’d been drawn to Robyn the first minute he saw her.

  But they never said that opposites could last.

  He could see their future as easily as he could see the lights on the trees and the shadows behind them. He was the shadow, the darkness, the drab holidays that would forever pull Robyn down. One day, she’d realize that and shake loose, bursting to shine like God intended her to.

  She’d leave him.

  Joseph had been right. It was better to know now, before either of them fell in love, that they weren’t truly compatible. He clutched his chest, feeling like an icicle was growing right through his heart. But it was for the best—for both of them, but mostly for her. He’d be nothing but a stone in her stocking every year. She deserved so much better.

  Chapter 18

  Robyn

  Robyn exchanged worried looks with her parents. She went to run after Gabe, but her father’s hand on her arm stopped her.

  “Is he the one?” he asked.

  “Y-yes,” she stammered. Realizing that it had to be true—because she couldn’t tell a lie—she broke into a wide smile. There was something magical about knowing her heart.

  “Go get him.” Dad tapped the side of his nose.

  Robyn nodded and jogged in the direction Gabe had gone. He didn’t mean to leave her behind; he just needed space from the situation. It wasn’t long before she saw his outline, all hunched into his coat and walking like a Scrooge without a cane. “Gabe?” She caught up and put her hand on his arm.

  He instantly relaxed as she shared her magical warmth with him. Growing up, none of the girls had found their ability to warm others all that handy, but Lux had saved Quik’s life with her inner boiler after he fell into a frozen lake. Ginger said she’d warmed Layla several times in Alaska, before she and Joseph came into the family. She liked seeing Gabe more comfortable, more at ease. Except his face was full of worry lines and his eyes were hard.

  “Gabe?” she asked again, not liking the feeling he put off. It was noble and scary all at once.

  He took a deep breath, filling his chest all the way. She had the distinct impression he had to say something he didn’t want to. The feeling was familiar in the way a nightmare could draw you in. Her ex-boyfriend, Elmer, had had the same intent when he’d broken up with her after three years of dating. She hadn’t recognized it then, but she did now. She drew back, expecting the emotional blow but not sure how to really prepare for it. She’d never felt for Elmer the things she’d felt for Gabe.

  Gabe’s eyes softened. “I can see why you guys are such a joyful family. You have all the love and attention you could ever want, and money isn’t an i
ssue for you. We were raised so differently—I’m just not sure that we’re … compatible.”

  “In exactly what way?” Certainly, they could overcome any obstacle with love. She’d seen her sisters and brothers-in-law hurdle obstacles like ex-wives and possessive parents.

  “You’re all Santa and cookies and live in this bubble where problems don’t exist.”

  Robyn balked. “You think I don’t have problems?” She jammed her hand into her hip. “Do you have any idea the overwhelming issues we’re dealing with each Christmas?”

  He shook his head quickly. “That’s not what I mean.” He blew out a breath. “See, we can’t even have this conversation like a normal person. I’m messing it up.”

  Robyn reached for him. “I’m not even sure what this conversation is about. What are you really saying?”

  “I’m saying … I don’t think I fit in, in your world. And I don’t want to drag you down to mine.”

  Robyn’s heart seized inside of her chest. She clutched at it, desperate to release the numbing pain his words inflicted. Not fit into her world? Her world would adjust to include him, if he’d give it the chance. “It doesn’t have to be that way, Gabe.”

  “It already is that way.” He sighed heavily.

  That breath was like a wind blowing the two of them apart. He’d resolved to see their differences instead of their strengths. He’d decided not to see the love or the possibility of a greater love than either of them had ever known blossoming like poinsettias. His resolve was complete, because he thought he was doing it for her.

  That was the biggest batch of burnt cookies!

  “Come on. I’ll take you home.” His need to take care of her, to end this with some sort of friendly action, pumped her direction to justify the action. He hoped to not make a scene—and to save himself from the pain that threatened.

  Riding in the cab of his truck with his soapy clean all around her, knowing he’d chosen to not love her, was too much. “No thanks. I’ll get a ride home with Dunder.” She took several steps away.