No, I wouldn’t. And the sick bastard knew it. He didn’t even need to put a command through our blood bond, but he did anyway. The compulsion weaved around my willpower and squeezed tight. Even my beast settled, though she grumbled a bit. Wick’s other hand came around to grasp my free arm, now limp and void of tension.
“Please, master. Don’t make me do this,” Wick said.
Lucien smirked. “This is punishment for you both. For your incompetence. A Vampire Master should never have to take matters into his own hands. You failed me. Consider yourselves lucky I’m not taking your lives instead.”
“She will hate me, Lucien. Forever. She will never forgive me for this,” Wick said. A weird buzzing sensation consumed my brain as I processed his words. Pieces to the puzzle snapped into place. He was right. Even though Wick had little control over his actions, I’d barely recovered from the first time he held me down, but to have him used against me more than once. It seemed as if…
“I want her to choose Tristan,” Lucien said.
Wick recoiled behind me; the grip on my arms slackened. “Why?”
“Because,” I whispered, realizing the truth too late, “he believes he can control the Wereleopard pack through me if I’m bonded to the pride leader,” I said, the jigsaw pieces falling into place too late. My head pounded as red consumed my vision.
Lucien smiled, and his lack of denial confirmed my accusation. Silence stretched across the room and weighed the air down with suppressive force. My lungs constricted. Breathing became difficult. I fed my body oxygen in short, successive gasps. No. I’d never allow him to control Tristan through me. I’d already endured that pain with Wick. A cold wave travelled through my body, leaving me numb and washed out. No more. Lucien would never use someone I cared about every again. Not if I could help it.
“Enough of this,” Lucien said. “Sid, my debt is paid.” He waved at Wick and I with a flourishing sweep of his arm.
Sid nodded and stepped forward. “Yes, Lucien, your debt is paid.”
I shook my head at Sid. “Let me pay my debt another way.”
Sid tsked. “You must give me your blood freely.”
My muscles tensed as he approached and cradled my head with both his hands. They zapped my skin as soon as they made contact, sending tides of tingling sensations down my body.
Wick’s fingers dug into my upper arms.
“Say it,” Sid said. “Give me permission.”
I opened and closed my mouth, but I couldn’t make myself say the words. Sid gave my head a little shake.
Lucien cleared his throat. “Say it, kitten. Do I need to remind you of the consequences?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. If I refused, Lucien would harm Wick, and I’d still owe the Demon, not just my blood, but my soul.
I’m so sorry, Andy, Wick said.
My wolf howled in my head, shaking my skull. My falcon screeched and flapped her wings. My mountain lion…she paced. She wanted out, she wanted to turn feral and destroy everyone and everything. She wanted me to release the beast.
From the rage blistering in my core where my beast paced and bellowed for me to let her out, I knew she hated everyone in this room, including Wick. I could do it. I could release her and try to best a powerful Demon, two Vampires, a Werewolf Alpha and an un-killable human servant. If I survived, I’d be done with this. At least until Sid tracked me down. Then I’d be in a bigger mess.
I couldn’t do it.
Even if I broke free and kept enough control to not hurt Wick, I’d still owe the Demon and Lucien would still punish Wick for my disobedience and defiance. Despite hating the situation, despite hating what I was about to say, about to do, I wouldn’t fight it.
I couldn’t cause Wick harm. I couldn’t hurt him. I…I loved him.
Sid’s dark, calculating gaze met mine when I finally looked up and squared my shoulders. If my beast couldn’t best Bola, it was unlikely she could take Satan’s assistant anyway.
Ice flowed through my veins as I made my decision. “I give you permission to take my blood as my payment for the debt I owe you.”
Sid’s white teeth flashed. One of his hands snaked down to my wrist, and he ran a sharp talon against it. A sharp sting radiated out from the cut on my skin. He pulled my arm to his head and ducked down to clamp his Demon-hot mouth over the wound.
My vision blurred as he drew blood from my body. He only drank one pull, but my body’s reaction continued after he lifted his head away from my sensitive skin. The tingling sensations from the gash morphed into a throbbing need.
My core burnt with an internal inferno, building and building until the heat became unbearable. Then, something inside broke, shattering and splintering the pleasure into infinitesimal shards radiating from my groin out to my fingertips and toes. Lightning danced the mamba in my vision, and I sagged in Wick’s hold, breathless and sated.
After the last waves of pleasure rolled away, a layer of grime settled over my soul.
That rancid piece of Demon street meat just gave me an orgasm. Fire blazed through my veins. My fists clenched. I wanted to rip off Sid’s arm and beat him with the wet end.
Burnt cinnamon rolled of Wick in waves, and his hands clenched painfully around my arms.
Sid straightened and wiped his mouth. He reached down and gripped my face with one hand, placing his thumb between my eyebrows. “In aeternum mea es tu. Mea es tu.”
I didn’t speak Latin, but the meaning of his words coiled around my heart and sank in. You are mine forever. I closed my eyes and took a number of deep breaths before I stood and shook off Wick’s hands.
Sid reached out to…I’m not sure what he planned to do. I batted his hands away.
“Don’t be so shy, little one,” Sid said. “I have that effect on women.”
“I hate you.”
Sid nodded. “I have that effect on women, too.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
“Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty—a beauty cold and austere, without the gorgeous trappings of painting or music.”
~Bertrand Russell
Wick pulled up to my building, and I wanted nothing more than to teleport into my apartment to skip the conversation that would come next. Wick shoved the gearshift into park and turned to me. “Andy.”
I shook my head, threw open the door and hopped out. Maybe I could just run away from this. The sound of Wick’s door slamming after mine told me my wish fell on deaf deity ears.
“Andy,” Wick called out to me. “We need to talk. Please, don’t walk away from me.”
I spun around, halfway up the walkway. Wick stood on the sidewalk, his mouth turned down, and his gaze fierce.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said.
“Of course there is.”
I shook my head again.
“We need to talk about what I did. About what you did.”
“About what I did? I did nothing! Nothing except play the victim, again! And now I have to live with it.”
Wick took a step forward. “We can work through it together. We can—wait, what are you doing?”
Vaguely aware Wick closed the distance between us, I shut my eyes and drew my attention inward. My animals snarled in my head, and my beast stretched and tested the bindings that held her. There, in my chest, two more links throbbed with pain. Sid’s mark coiled around my heart, with barbs digging in. One word, one thought from him and it would probably constrict.
The other, more subtle, flowed in my blood, but stayed concentrated near my liver, as if the organ desperately tried to filter out Lucien’s taint. I focused on his mark and gathered it up.
I dispel you. I poured all my rage and hate and disgust into the command. Nothing happened. I tightened my hold.
Lucien, I dispel you, I repeated with more force. Something ripped inside me. The instant it worked, my body convulsed. I dropped to the cemented path and clutched my abdomen. Searing pain lanced out from my core and diffused th
rough my veins and arteries. Pain streaked through my body, and I twisted on the ground, unable to deal with it, yet unable to make the agony go away. Then, slowly, the pain abated. My skin throbbed, raw against the cold cement.
A shadow started to form beside me, but before Lucien could appear, if he’d appear, I added another command, just in case. Dematerialize.
“Andy!” Wick knelt beside me. “Andy, what’s happening?”
“Getting rid of Lucien.” I gritted my teeth.
I picked myself off the ground and straightened. Wick tried to help with a hand on my elbow, but I shook him off.
Lucien would retaliate. He’d have to save his precious pride. My gaze met the melted chocolate of Wick’s, and my heart stopped beating. As long as Lucien believed I held feelings for Wick, he’d use Wick against me, repeatedly, to torment me, and lure me back to his lair.
I might have to kill Lucien. Heck, I wanted to kill Lucien, to see his stolen blood pool on his expensive Italian tiles before he shriveled into dust. But he didn’t stay undead this long for nothing. I needed time to plan. Taking out the Master Vampire of a large city had other implications as well. The change in power would create a ripple effect through the entire supernatural community. I had to remove the one thing Lucien would use to control me. Not just for my sake, but for Wick’s.
“I can’t be with you,” I said.
Wick stepped back. His gaze narrowed. “You don’t mean that.”
I wiped off the blood trickling down my chin with my sleeve and then shook my head. I did mean it. “As long as you’re under Lucien’s control, he’ll keep using us against one another. It cuts too deep. I can’t do it. I can’t let him use us like that.”
He leaned forward and then hesitated. “We’re mates.”
His words vibrated through my entire body. My wolf howled. “Maybe, Wick. But I can’t keep hurting like this. I can’t keep fearing I’ll destroy you, or vice versa. It’s not right. We have to…we have to let each other go.”
Before Wick could say anything more, before I lost my courage, I reached within and called the wolf. Still new to dispelling, I didn’t know if I could do two in one night, but I planned to try.
I dispel you.
My wolf howled again. Deep and full of sorrow, its resonance rocked my core. My heart stopped. Then it started again, pumping furiously. The wolf, enmeshed into my very being, ripped from my essence, tearing muscle and cartilage. I staggered and dropped to my hands and knees again. Blood poured from my nose. Sharp stabbing pains shredded my brain and darted down my spine. As if ripped in two, a ghost wolf separated from my body to stand beside me.
I looked up into her large, colourless eyes. They studied me, deep and soulful. I wanted to run my hands down her thick, gray fur, bury my face into her side. But I couldn’t. If I did that, I’d never find the strength to do what I had to do next. “De…” A sob racked my body. “Dematerialize.”
She pawed the ground and disappeared. My heart sank into my stomach. A hollow pit developed in my mind where my wolf used to curl her warm, reassuring presence. We’d been together for a long time. I took a shuddered breath before I collected myself and stumbled to my feet.
Wick’s gaze met mine. He staggered.
The pain in his chocolate brown eyes speared me where I stood, and all thoughts or things I planned to say flew from my mind.
Did I just make a colossal mistake?
My eyes prickled. No! I squeezed my eyelids shut to stem the tears threatening to fall and thought of Tristan. The image of his wide, bright smile evened out my heartbeat and lifted the sinking weight in my stomach.
Wick was a great man. He didn’t deserve my indecisiveness, nor being strung along. I knew why we couldn’t be together. And if he took a moment to be honest with himself, so did he. It didn’t make losing him any easier.
Then it hit me. The smell after a lighting strike; the heady mix of deep rooted soil, veining up to meet the hard impact of the energy bolt, the aftermath of thunder. Thick heavy storm clouds with raindrops dampening and clinging to the air, the scent of heartbreak.
I opened my mouth, then closed it. What could I say?
Wick turned and walked away.
Epilogue
“It’s easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you.”
~Bertrand Russell
Curled up on the ledge of my bay window, I watched the runners in the rain and nursed my third cup of coffee. After dispelling Lucien’s blood bond and my wolf, my apartment had turned into a temple of silence. No phone calls, no e-mail, no television, nothing. As if a moratorium had been placed over my home.
Wick had looked broken as he slunk to his shiny black SUV with his head hung low and drooping shoulders. Not the first time he’d left my place hurt and denied, but this time, finality hung in the air. God, part of me wanted to call him back and let him wipe the bad memories from my mind, and my soul. The other part of me knew I wouldn’t and couldn’t. I’d made the right decision.
Right?
I wish I could see Lucien’s face. He wouldn’t have foreseen this move from me. He’d been so sure of his mark, so sure of his hold on me. Now punishing Wick wouldn’t benefit Lucien, since I also expelled my wolf and any claim on the Werewolf Alpha.
I rubbed my neck. What do I do now? No longer blood-bound to the Master Vampire, I couldn’t fulfill my role as an ambassador. Nor could I go back to the SRD—Booth no longer sat in her office rooting for me. Tucker sure wouldn’t reinstate my agent status, even if I could stomach working for him.
Lucien would seek retribution for ditching his bond.
I drummed my fingers along my now cold coffee mug. I’d cross the Lucien bridge when I got there. He’d take his time plotting his revenge.
The doorbell rang.
I stared out the window, seeing and not seeing at the same time. A painful tightness clamped around my throat, and my lungs constricted, making it difficult to breathe. I couldn’t see who stood outside, ringing the doorbell, but I didn’t need to. I wanted to open the door to find out what Wick had to say, what he hadn’t said already, but I also wanted to hide. There wasn’t a cave deep or dark enough to bury the feelings currently overwhelming my heart. I was bonded to a Demon who scared the bejeezus out of me.
The doorbell rang again, this time more insistent, as if the person ringing it tried to send me a message by Morse Code.
I stumbled from my perch by the bay windows and shuffled to the kitchen. I put my cold, half empty coffee mug beside the others on the counter by the sink and looked down at my outfit. Two-day-old sweats. Gross. I probably smelled, but I didn’t care. Whatever. Let Wick see me at my worst, and maybe then he’d leave me alone.
When I flung the door open, my mouth dropped open in surprise.
Tristan smiled. His eyes twinkled before they travelled up and down my body, but the wide, panty-melting grin faltered when he took in my face. I didn’t need anyone to tell me I looked as terrible as I felt.
He held his hand out.
I glanced down to see a bouquet of red roses, their scent twirled up to my nose, mixing with Tristan’s intoxicating scent. My gaze riveted to his face.
His smile returned, but this time, tender, more sincere. “May I come in?”
I grabbed the flowers and tossed them to the side. They bounced against my plush throw rug, and their scent floated up to my nose. But I didn’t care. My fingers dug into Tristan’s shirt as I pulled him into my apartment and sagged into him. My face smushed into his soft blue sweater, and the ache inside my heart welled up.
I sobbed.
My body shook, and the tears kept coming. Tristan just held me, rubbing my back and murmuring nonsense into my ear. He picked me up and cradled me in his arms like a child before he kicked the door closed behind him.
I should protest. I should demand that he put me down. I wasn’t a child. No one should see me like this.
Citrus and sunshine with honeysuckle on a warm summer’s day.
His scent continued to cocoon and protect me. I said nothing and let him carry me while I clung to his sweater and cried. Tristan sat on the couch and pulled me into his lap, my face snug against his neck. His beautiful scent flowed into my body with each ragged breath, and my muscles started to relax.
His strong hands ran along my side, over and over again, until I could breathe. “Lucien used Wick against me, again.”
Tristan’s body tensed, but he said nothing to fill the silence, he kept rubbing.
“He made Wick hold me so Sid could take my blood. As payment for his debt to the Demon. My payment was to voluntarily give my blood. Now that sadistic Demon has it, and I have no idea what he can do with it.”
Tristan bowed his head. His arm under my legs curled up, pulling me tighter against his chest.
“I dispelled my wolf. I ended it with Wick.”
Tristan’s hand faltered. He inhaled deeply and then continued to stroke me, sending calming Alpha waves through my body. We sat in silence. Me, drinking in Tristan’s soothing scent; Tristan, thinking whatever Tristan thought.
“Well, that explains the text,” he said, finally.
“What text?” I asked.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does. Tell me.”
Tristan sighed, his shoulders sagging a little. “I got a text from Wick, saying ‘congratulations.’ ”
I stiffened and pushed away. “So you came running over here to collect your prize?”
“No,” he said. “I came running over here to make sure you were okay.”
He tried to pull me close again.
I pushed against his chest. “Just because I’ve chosen not to be with Wick, doesn’t mean I’ve chosen you,” I lashed out. The smell of my lie filled the room.
Tristan used the back of his knuckles to brush away the last of the tears from my face. “This has nothing to do with me. Or our relationship. This has everything to do with you, though. You are hurting as I thought you might be, and I wanted to ease your pain. I want to be here for you. Will you let me?”
Carpe Demon (Carus #3) Page 22
