Fighting Fate (Redwood Pack #7)

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “Running away? Fuck you. Fuck you so hard. You denied our bond. Don’t you get that?”

  Logan’s eyes glowed gold. “No. No, I didn’t. Jesus, Cailin. We both talked about it. It wasn’t the time. Wasn’t the day.”

  She shook her head. “No, you talked about it. You declared. I shouldn’t have even done it, and now I have to live with that. I’ll own that. But fuck you, Logan Anderson, for taking all the control.”

  “Fuck. You know why I didn’t bite you? Didn’t mark you? Because fate fucks with us, Cailin. I didn’t want to mate with you last night because we thought we had to. Because we were both in pain. I want to have the night where our souls connect be worth more than covering wounds. I want to actually love you and you love me. So I’m a fucking romantic. Sue me. I wanted us to actually have something more than bitterness and hiding before we were ready to connect our souls.”

  Her heart lurched, and she shook her head. The words were nice, and she knew he wasn’t lying then, but they couldn’t erase the hurt.

  “We will mate, Cailin. I know we will. We just need the right time.” His eyes pleaded, and she wanted to do nothing but throw her arms around his neck and never let go.

  So of course she needed to leave. Needed to be the Cailin Jamenson with her outer shell and a heart so hidden no one knew it was there.

  “No, Logan. Fuck you. You don’t get to decide when we mate. We do. You don’t get to declare it all and make the decisions. I told you I wouldn’t be your beta, wouldn’t submit. So no. I’m leaving. I don’t know if I’m coming back, but right now looking at you makes my heart hurt and makes my wolf want you more than I should. I can’t do that. I need to go.”

  “Cailin, princess, don’t leave.”

  “You might have the strength of an Alpha, but you aren’t my Alpha.” The shock of pain at just who was her Alpha then hit her hard, and her knees buckled. Logan gripped her tighter, his hands almost bruising her skin.

  “I know I’m not your Alpha, baby. I just...”

  Cailin held up her hand, not able to take anymore. “I need space. I knew you were holding back, and I shouldn’t have let it happen. I won’t stand for it again. I’m not weak, yet you’re making me feel it.”

  She pulled away, and this time he let her.

  The loss broke her, her body shaking.

  He’d let her.

  By the time she made it to Maddox’s house, tears flowed down her cheeks. She hadn’t felt anyone around her so she knew others hadn’t seen her break. Nor had she realized she’d been on her way to Maddox’s.

  The door opened before she made it down the walk, and he was striding toward her, his arms outstretched. Her knees buckled, and he had her in his arms and cradled to his chest, walking back to the house before she could take a breath.

  Strong arms held her while smaller hands stroked her back. While she hadn’t thought she had any tears left, she’d clearly been wrong. Her wolf howled, but the human part of her slowly grew numb, her tears staining Maddox’s shirt. She could hear murmurs around her, but she didn’t listen. She just knew she was safe for the moment in Maddox’s arms.

  Not only was he her brother, her blood, but as he was the Omega, her wolf calmed. His powers flared, and her wolf settled, the smaller bond she held as a Pack member to the Omega soothed her, her body relaxing in his hold.

  “There now, ladybug butt,” Maddox whispered. “Rest easy, I’m here.”

  The nickname from her childhood jolted her awake from whatever kind of semi-conscious state she was in, and she giggled.

  Giggled.

  “Stop calling me that, Mad,” she whispered, not serious in the least.

  “You’ll always be my ladybug butt, Cailin. You’re my little sister, not just my Packmate. Now tell me what happened.” The last part was in a deep tone, ordering.

  Her wolf bristled, not liking Maddox showing his dominance. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was also the Omega, Cailin wasn’t sure he’d even be able to force her wolf to act, but as it was, she was lower in the hierarchy.

  Just one more thing to resent on a day—no, week—in which she wanted to run and hide.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Cailin.”

  She looked up at Ellie’s sharp tone. The quiet woman rarely spoke harshly, preferring to hide in the background. It only made sense considering how she’d grown up in the Central Pack under the thumbs of a sadistic ruling Alpha and his Heir—her father and brother.

  “Tell us what happened.” The other woman held out her hand, and Cailin took it instinctively. “We need to know if you’re in danger. If any of us are. Maddox knows that you’re in pain, and it’s something even more than…than what happened to us on the field, but we need to know more.”

  For a moment Cailin wondered what all she’d missed if Ellie knew exactly what Maddox was thinking, but then she remembered that the two of them held a special type of mating bond where they could not only feel each other but also hear each other’s thoughts if they so desired.

  The pain arcing across her heart at the thought of never having that, or even a semblance of that, with Logan didn’t surprise her.

  Not when she knew it would more for a lifetime of hurt.

  Cailin sighed, not wanting to share but knowing she needed to. It was so unlike her to burden others with her problems, but at some point, she didn’t have a choice.

  “I slept with Logan last night.”

  Maddox growled, low, deadly.

  Perhaps blurting it out to her brother like that with no context wasn’t the best idea.

  Awkward.

  “Did he hurt you?” he asked.

  “Not the way you think,” she said quickly while scrambling to her feet. “He didn’t do anything I didn’t ask for…he just didn’t do all that I asked.”

  Maddox narrowed his eyes, and Ellie sat next to him, soothing her mate. “Explain,” he ordered. “As you’re my baby sister, my precious baby sister, you don’t want to know what’s running through my mind right now.”

  “I meant he didn’t want to mate with me.” Saying the words aloud was almost freeing. And even as she said them, she knew it was an overreaction.

  Goddess, he’d said he’d wanted her and would mate with her in time, and yet what did she do? She ran away. She’d felt hurt because he’d made the decision for both of them without talking to her. In retrospect, he might have made the better choice for them both, but he’d made a mistake in not discussing it with her.

  That made her angry more than hurt, and she clung to that. Anger she could work with. Hurt made her weak.

  “Are you telling me he slept with you and didn’t complete the bond? That he used you?” With each word, Maddox’s voice grew harsher, and Cailin knew she’d made a mistake in telling him.

  What had been a private thing now would involve not only her brother, but the rest of her family as well.

  Damn it.

  She hated her impulsiveness, her mistakes.

  “Forget about it, Maddox. I’ll deal with it.” Which was what she should have done to begin with. Now she would have to deal with the ramifications.

  Logan would have to deal with the ramifications.

  “Forget about it?” Maddox stood, and Ellie stood with him, trying to pull him back. It wouldn’t work though. Once a Jamenson male was on the rampage, there would be no stopping him. Not when it came to protecting family. Or at least what they thought of as protecting family.

  “I need to talk about it with Logan.”

  Her brother narrowed his eyes then turned toward the door. Cailin gripped his arm, but he kept going, pulling away from her.

  “Don’t hurt him, Maddox.”

  Maddox growled and turned back. “I won’t kill him.”

  Cailin huffed. “That’s not what I said, but I’m glad you won’t kill him. But I don’t want you to hurt him.”

  “That I can’t promise. He hurt you.”

  “But it was a misunderstanding.”
Or so she thought.

  “No, you don’t get to cover for him. His words and lack of actions hurt you, so he gets to deal with us. Deal with you when you’re ready. And even if he hadn’t done what he did, he would have to deal with all of us. You’re our baby sister. He needs to know who he’s messing with.”

  “I’m not your baby anything, Maddox!” Now her anger veered toward her brother, her wolf growling for the protection of the man who would be their mate.

  And he would be their mate, damn it.

  “Let me deal with this.”

  “Maddox!”

  He stormed out of the house, no doubt on the way to get their brothers, and Cailin took off after him, only to be held back by Ellie.

  Cailin turned on her heel and growled, immediately feeling like a heel for doing so to this woman who had been through so much. She needn’t have worried though, as Ellie just raised her chin and took the brunt of Cailin’s anger.

  “Let him go. They were all going to come to blows eventually. They’re your brothers. All of us Jamenson woman can kick their asses later for acting like brutes.”

  “It was my problem. I shouldn’t have shared.”

  Ellie shrugged. “Maybe, but it would have come out eventually. Maddox felt your pain, and I had to hold him back from running after you as it was. I couldn’t do it again. And these men need an outlet right now. They’re all so lost. We all are.” Ellie’s eyes filled with tears, and Cailin gripped the other woman’s hand.

  “They won’t hurt him. Not really. Logan wants you, and he’s well on his way to loving you. You know this. Whatever he did, he did it for a reason, which was most likely a man’s reason, which means he was an idiot.” Ellie gave her a small smile, and Cailin snorted. “They’re men. Sometimes you have to mold them and guide them the right way. Don’t worry, honey. It will all work out. It might be fate that you’re together or it could even be preordained, but it takes more than the moon goddess for a mating to work.”

  “I need to go find them,” Cailin said, ignoring the mess in her head. She’d fucked up by coming here as she’d done, but so had Logan. That didn’t mean Logan should have to bear the brunt of her brothers’ anger. After all, they were still grieving as much as she was.

  “Come sit and eat something, shower, and get dressed. I know you have a couple things here from when you stayed over to watch Charlotte. We all pretty much have a few things in each other’s closets. You need to feel fresh and relaxed, and then you can work on what needs to be done.”

  Cailin sighed. “I suppose I do need a shower.”

  Ellie rolled her eyes. “Considering you have Logan’s scent drenching you, yeah. I mean, sure, it works for what you need, but I was ready to hold back Maddox before he calmed you down since he scented Logan on you right away.”

  “Crap.”

  “Well, from the whisker burn on your neck, even though you want to kick Logan’s butt right now, you seemed to have had a good night.”

  “I love you, Ellie.”

  “As you should.”

  Cailin followed the other woman into the kitchen and passed by Charlotte, Ellie and Maddox’s daughter, taking her hand as she did so. The quiet little girl snuggled close, giving Cailin’s wolf exactly what she needed to calm down before she took her next steps.

  She just prayed her brothers didn’t hurt Logan too bad.

  ****

  Logan scented them before he heard them.

  All of them.

  It seemed the Jamenson brothers had held back long enough, and it was time to let them see what he was made of.

  His wolf growled.

  Good.

  Because after that fight, he needed to release some tension before crawling back to Cailin. Oh, he’d crawl. There would be begging and pleading until she took him back. He’d been a fucking idiot to hold back, though she’d overreacted too.

  Not the best way to start a mating.

  Logan rolled his shoulders, rubbed his neck, and then opened his front door. He took a step outside, closing the door behind him, ready as he’d ever be to face the Jamenson brothers.

  Kade was up first, his hands fisted at his side.

  “I’m your Alpha, Logan.” Kade’s face and demeanor did not betray any emotion. Good. The wolf was learning. No weakness would be shown. Their Alpha was strong. Logan knew Kade was probably howling inside, ready to tear into flesh and kill anyone who had hurt his family, but on outside, Kade was smooth steel.

  Alpha.

  Right now, though, he was also an older brother.

  Good.

  Josh, Reed, Adam, Jasper, North, and Maddox stood behind Kade, similar expressions of overprotectiveness on their faces. It didn’t surprise Logan in the slightest that Josh was part of the crew. Though he wasn’t a blood brother, he was one of Reed’s mates and the idea behind protecting the little sister of the bunch rang through clearly.

  “Yes, you’re my Alpha,” Logan finally said. “But right now you’re sure as fuck not representing one. That’s fine. You’re Cailin’s older brother, but you don’t get to try and intimidate me into doing whatever you think is appropriate in this situation. I know Edward stepped back in most cases when each of you mated, and I deserve the same respect.”

  A couple of them flinched at Logan’s use of Edward’s name, but none of them took a step to move away.

  “Respect?” Adam barked. “You hurt our sister.”

  Logan held back the agony of having done so, not wanting to show the others he was in just as much pain as she was. “What goes on in our mating is between Cailin and myself.”

  “Fuck that,” Reed said, surprising Logan. “She’s our little sister, and you don’t get to make her feel like shit.”

  Logan swallowed hard. “Is that what I did?”

  Maddox came closer so he was nose to nose with Logan. “She came to me weeping, Logan. I know you denied the mating. You better tell us why, then you go to Cailin to do the same. You owe her that. You owe her more than that.”

  “You think you can come into our Pack, use Cailin, and get away with it?” Josh added. “You’re wrong. So fucking wrong.”

  “I thought you were better than that,” Adam put in.

  Jasper let out a sigh, and Logan turned in the other man’s direction. “Why? Why did you do that?”

  “Yes, Logan,” North said, “tell us.”

  Logan lifted a lip, baring fang. “I didn’t deny the mating. I want her. And don’t tell me what the fuck I’m thinking. She left because I didn’t want to mate last night, the night of your parents’ funeral.” And because he’d held back, but that was between him and Cailin. “I want to love her, and I want that same emotion back when we’re mating. I might sound like a pussy, but fuck you for thinking we both don’t deserve that.”

  “You made her cry,” Kade said back.

  It was no use. These men needed the fight. Sure, they wanted to protect Cailin and take care of her problems for her—something Cailin would in no way appreciate—but they also needed to let out their own aggression.

  Well, in that case, Logan could help them out.

  “Bring it then,” Logan said. “All of you. I’ll take you all at once or one at a time. I don’t give a fuck. You want to fight? I’m game.”

  The punch to his face didn’t surprise him. The fact that it was Maddox who threw it did. Logan didn’t fight back hard, knowing he deserved what he got. He’d hurt his mate, and he needed to bleed. There was no question. He wouldn’t, however, show weakness.

  Each of the brothers looked at each other then Adam nodded. Apparently he’d been the one to draw the shortest straw. Adam growled and Logan sighed, knowing he’d have to fight back to protect his wolf, but not too hard in order to protect Cailin. Neither one was putting much effort behind their hits, but each of them had blood on them nonetheless.

  “Stop!”

  Logan turned at Cailin’s voice and therefore didn’t duck in time, letting Adam’s fist hit him square in the jaw. The man mig
ht have only one leg, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t punch like a fucking mountain man.

  Fuck.

  “Jesus, Adam! I said stop.”

  “I was in mid-swing.”

  Logan was kneeling on the ground by that time, trying to see past the stars and little birdies circling around his head. Cailin had her hands on his face, his wolf leaning into the touch.

  “Baby, are you okay?”

  Baby? Was that him? He blinked up into her pale green eyes and nodded. “I have a harder head that that.”

  “Don’t I know it?” she mumbled then narrowed her eyes. “I can’t believe you were all fighting like a bunch of fucking idiots and rednecks.”

  “We needed to fight,” Reed said from behind him.

  “We’re men. It happens,” Josh added in.

  Cailin stood and put her fists on her hips. Logan could see the pain ravaging her features, but she didn’t cry. He didn’t think she would in front of them. And considering how much he’d fucked up, he wasn’t sure she would in front of him either.

  “Go home to your mates. They all know what you’ve been doing out here and will deal with the lot of you. For the record, I went to Maddox because I needed my Omega, not my brother. Shut up.” She said that last part as North opened his mouth to speak. The man might be blind, but he still could hit really fucking hard. “Don’t talk. I don’t want to hear it. What happens with me and Logan from now on is between us. And, for that matter, what doesn’t happen between us is only for us. No more interfering. No more waving your dicks around. There is enough to worry about without adding what Logan and I do or do not do.”

  Kade cupped her face as Logan leaned into her, needing her touch. “You’re important, Cailin. You’re our sister. We get to be overprotective. It’s part of the job.” Cailin opened her mouth to speak, and their Alpha shook his head. “But we’ll let you be alone with him now.”

  “Let?” Cailin growled.

  Jasper let out a breath. “Fine, not let. Like we could ever let you do anything. We’re your brothers, so we’re allowed to be idiots when it comes to you. Now go fix whatever the fuck you did wrong, Logan. Then come to us as a couple or not. We just need you both. Got it?”