In Love (The Knights of Mayhem Book 5)
Page 19
He catches onto my worry and lays his hand on my arm. “Everything okay?” His brow furrows with concern.
I brush away his concern. “Oh yeah, I’m fine.” I force another smile, purely for his benefit. “Just ready to get out of here.” I shift in the bed as he taps my hip, wanting me to scoot over so he can sit beside me.
He leans into me, and I can’t help but smile. His eyes are warm and inviting, and I can’t stop myself from leaning up and placing a kiss on his lips. A faint hum comes from his throat before I take my lips away from his. His eyes are hooded with lust, and I can feel the want I have for him spring to life.
This man amazes me, confounds me, and makes me want to forget all the bad in my past. In his eyes, I see the peace I’ve craved and searched for for years. And I know he can give me the happiness I’m not sure I deserve.
He tangles his fingers in my hair, pulling me back to him. He leans his forehead against mine. It seems that my injuries have done nothing to deter his want for me either. He exhales, and his hot breath caresses my skin. His chiseled chin is covered in a dusting of blond scruff. I reach out to rub my fingertips over it. “I like this,” I tell him, and he rewards me with another smile. He chuckles and I notice the tiny creases at the corners of his piercing hazel eyes. “What is it you see in me?” The question tumbles out before I can stop it.
“Everything,” he replies, melting what’s left of my heart. I cup his face in my hands, looking into the eyes of the man I’m falling for, faster than what could be considered logical, but I am.
~~~~~~
He’d helped me dress, and that took a little longer than it should have because he couldn’t keep his lips or hands off my body. He’d gently kissed all the bruises covering me, and I’d had to hold back my begging him to fuck me. I could see him battling with his emotions of anger and guilt as he surveyed my body. I’d told him many times it wasn’t his fault, but even though he’d nodded, I could tell he would, in some way, always blame himself.
Now I sit and wait for Matthew to return with the wheelchair I’m apparently required to leave the hospital in, with one word repeating in my head. “Everything.”
He sees everything in me. My heart flutters, and I feel the warmth of the blush heating my cheeks as I smile. I lay my hand on my belly, and a shot of fear spears through my happiness. Would he feel the same if I have a life we created growing inside of me? He loves his son, that’s evident. It’s a conversation I’ll have to address when I find out if I am or not.
When he looks at me the way he does and touches me with his gentle hands, I forget about all the problems I’m bringing to him, or the shit storm that is my life. He pushes all my troubles to the back of my mind and brings the person I want to be to the surface.
The door swinging open makes me jump, and a smiling Matthew walks into the room, making motorcycle sounds, only stopping to pop a wheelie with the chair. “Your chariot awaits, ma’am,” he announces in an exaggerated voice, sweeping his hand through the air. I hold my side as I laugh.
He stops beside the bed, then offers me his hand. “What do you say we get the hell out of here, go and get Jax, then veg at my house all weekend?” He helps me up from the bed and into the chair.
I turn, looking up at him. The swelling in my left eye is bad, but it’s started to subside. “Definitely, yes.” He rolls me to the door where a nurse is waiting for us.
Twenty minutes later, he helps me into his car, reaching around me to buckle my seat belt. “I could’ve gotten that myself, you know?” I say to him.
He leans down, getting eye level with me. “I know.” He kisses my forehead, then closes the door before walking around to his side of the car. I turn and spot the car seat fastened in the back. It had all been nice and good when he’d told me about his son, but seeing the seat makes Matthews’s son a reality. The driver’s side door opening has me tearing my eyes away from the seat to the set of piercing hazel eyes focused on me.
I worry my lip, pulling it through my teeth as I hold my breath. He cautiously slides into his seat, resting his hands in his lap, looking straight ahead now.
Needing to fill the silence between us, I let the first words that come to mind tumble out of my mouth. “What if he doesn’t like me?”
I watch as he presses his lips together into a thin line, more than likely stifling a laugh at my ridiculous question.
He turns to me, smiling that panty melting smile he gave me the first time I met him. “Babe, the first time I met you, you slammed my foot in your door, and I still like you.”
I lower my head, covering my face with my hands. “Oh God,” I moan. He does laugh this time, not sparing me any of my embarrassment, and I can’t help but join in.
“But seriously, babe, unless you drop him on his head or something, I think he’ll like you just fine.” He reaches for my hand, bringing it up to his smiling lips. “Don’t be nervous.”
I just look at him and roll my eyes, his ease with the events of the past two days and the fact he is bringing me around his son has my head spinning.
~~~~~~
Matty
It took ten minutes to get Tessa out of the car and to the front porch at Cowboy’s house. I hold her hand in mine, giving her one more reassuring smile before knocking and throwing the door open. I tug her into the house and stop dead in my tracks.
Cowboy is sitting on the floor with a pink feather boa around his neck, and a small plastic tea cup in his big hand as Caden pours an imaginary liquid into his cup. But it’s the sight of Jax sitting on his shoulders, smacking him on his bald head that has me covering my mouth with my fist.
“What the hell is going on here?” I ask, feeling Tessa bury her face in my arm to smother her laughter.
Cowboy looks over at me, like he’s in pure pain. “Well, Caden and I are having a tea party,” he says, then points up at Jax. “And your son here thinks he’s a rock star drummer.” Right at the moment, Jax bellows out, just as he gives Cowboy’s shiny head a heavy smack. The sound echoes around the room.
When he turns and sees me, his eyes fly wide, and a beautiful smile spreads across his face. “Daddy.” He screams as he practically tears Cowboy’s ears off, trying to get down from his shoulders.
“Hold on, little man, let me help.” Cowboy tells him as he reaches up, taking Jax under his arms and lifts him over his head. Before he can fully set him down, Jax is already running towards me with a ‘Support Your Local Knights of Mayhem MC’ tee on.
I crouch down, holding out my arms to him, encasing him when his little body slams into me. “Hey, little man.” I tilt him back. “You keeping Uncle Cal honest?” Cowboy stands his big frame up off the floor, still with the bright pink fucking boa around his neck.
When I cock my eyebrow, he just smiles, rubbing his hands up and down it, making tiny tufts of feathers boil, in the air, around him. “Yeah, it looks good, doesn’t it?”
Caden comes up beside him, smiling from ear to ear. “I have one for you too, Uncle Matty. Want one?” This only makes Tessa snort with laughter. I look up to find tears running out of her eyes.
I hear echoes of laughter from the side and turn to see Emily has come into the living room, her legs crossed, and is bent at the waist, howling with laughter.
With Jackson still in my arms, I reach for Caden’s hand and kiss it. “Thank you, baby girl, but I don’t think I would look as good as your daddy does.”
“You got that right,” Cowboy proudly declares as he continues to rub his hands up and down his boa.
I stand with Jax in my arms and turn to Tessa. “Hey, little man, this is Tessa.”
She stops laughing and stands stock still when she sees I’m introducing her to my son. She leans in, placing her hand at his back. “Hello, Jackson.” I watch as her eyes turn warm and loving when she looks at my son.
~~~~~~
Tessa
He cuts my laughter off when he stands, turning to me with Jax in his arms. The beautiful little boy he holds in
his arms has his smile and eyes, melting my heart just like his father has done.
“Tessa, this is Jackson, my son.” The air is sucked out of the room and it falls silent.
I reach up, not quite sure if it’s okay or not, but I lay my hand at the small of his back. “Hello, Jackson.” He smiles at me again, and I’m falling in love, not only with the son.
Matthew smiles down at me. The two are mirror images of each other. I thought his smile was sexy before, but seeing how he looks and smiles at the little boy in his arms makes him completely irresistible.
A throat clearing has us turning from each other to see Emily and Cowboy watching our exchange. I feel my face blush and I smile, looking away from them both.
“Thanks for keeping him. I really appreciate it,” Matthew tells them as he lays his hand on the small of my back. “I’m gonna get Tessa to the house so she can take it easy.”
Emily crosses over to us, and I see her eyes are a bit glassed over. She reaches up on her tiptoes to kiss Jax on the cheek. “I’ll see you in a few days, little man.” Then she turns to me, gently wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “And you get to feeling better.” She leans back, dragging her fingers across my forehead, swiping a piece of hair from my face. “We’ll see y’all Sunday, right?” she asks, smiling at me as her eyes drift over my face. I haven’t looked at it yet. I don’t think I can stomach it.
The swelling in my left eye is going down, and the split in my lip doesn’t hurt as bad today.
“Yes, you will,” Matthew answers her. I feel him give my back a little nudge towards the door. “Let’s get you to the house.”
I nod at him and smile back at Emily, then Cowboy. “Thanks, you two,” I say quietly as I let Matthew lead me through the door and out onto the porch.
I climb into the passenger seat as Matthew gets Jax settled into his car seat in the back. He smiles at me as he climbs into his side of the car. “So what do you think?”
I turn to look at the smiling boy in the back seat, then to Matthew. “I think he’s way better looking than his father.” I smile, feeling the butterfly bandage tug at my lip. He reaches with his finger, smoothing it over it with a regretful look on his face. I cover his hand with mine as I close my eyes, no longer able to see the look he has in his. “Matthew, don’t.”
“I hate that he did this to you, and he will pay for it,” he says, his voice dark.
My eyes fly back open as I shake my head. “I’ve told you before…please, don’t.”
“And I’ve told you.” He turns in his seat and starts the car. “It’s what I do, baby.” I stare at him, my heart gripped with fear. I’ve only had Matthew in my life for a week, but the thought of him being gone from it churns the bile in my stomach.
~~~~~~
Matty
As we drive through town, I watch her out of the corner of my eye. She’s quiet. I want to fill the silence between us and ask her what she’s thinking about. I’m worried Jax has overwhelmed her. She has enough shit on her plate as it is, and me throwing a kid into the mix only complicates things more.
I reach across, laying my hand on her thigh, giving it a squeeze, garnering her attention.
She looks over at me and smiles. “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me the past couple days.” Her eyes are soft and warm. I can see a future with this woman, and me spending all my days trying to make her smile and look at me the way she is right now. In just a week of knowing her, I’ve felt what being truly happy with someone can feel like, and now that I have Jackson back in my life, everything has almost come full circle. The two links I needed to complete that circle are sitting in the car with me right now.
Her reaction to Jax blew me away. Her eyes had looked at him so lovingly, I nearly proposed to her on the spot. I turn off the main road and onto the driveway leading to my house. It’s a 1940’s farmhouse. I gutted it and completely restored it, and I love living here. I’m close enough to Eno and Leo, but far enough away that I can have my time when I need it.
“Um, Matthew?” She turns in her seat to glance back at a passed out Jax, who’s slumped over in his car seat. “Is that okay?” She points at him. “His doesn’t look comfortable at all.”
“Oh yeah. Believe me, if he was uncomfortable he’d let me know.” I tilt my head at her, no longer able to keep my thoughts to myself about Jake. I’ve never been one to hold my tongue, and looking over at her has my blood boiling and anger raging like a rioting mob through my body. “Jake is one sick son of a bitch. He screwed your fucking back door closed so you couldn’t run. How long has this been going on?” I resist the urge to pull her across the console and settle her on my lap, hold her in my arms, and take away all the fears and pain he’s dealt her. “How long, Tessa?”
“Longer than I should’ve let it.” Tilting her face up to me, her beautiful green eyes are clouded from the years she’s suffered at the hands of that bastard. This will be the last time he ever touches her, looks at her, or is ever around her.
“Come on, let’s get you and Jax in the house.” No longer able to talk about this without needing to break something or kill someone, I lead her and carry Jax into the house.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Matty
“Can I take a bath?” she asks me after we get Jax settled in his bed. “I feel icky.”
Pulling her into my arms, I wrap them around her, burying my nose in her neck. It’s been too long since I’ve been inside her, making her cry out my name in pleasure. I walk her backwards, out into the hall, pushing her back flush against the wall, pressing my body into hers. But I know I can’t have her now, not yet. Tearing myself away from her, I rest my hands on either side of her head, leaning my forehead against hers. “Yes, I have something you’re going to love.” I smile down at her tired eyes.
“Really?” She smiles, and her eyes light up as I take her hand, leading her to my room. I swing the door open wide to reveal the huge ass garden tub in my bathroom.
“Oh, wow.” She takes a step into the room, then turns to me. “Do you have some Epson salts? It helps with the soreness.”
I turn from her, shaking my head. “It fucking kills me that you would even know to ask for that, Tessa.” I bend down and take the box of salt from under the cabinet, then hand it to her. “You soak and I’ll make us some lunch.” I rub my hands up and down the tops of her arms, placing a kiss on the top of her head. I pull the door closed behind me to the sound of the water beginning to run. I lay out one of my tees for her on the bed before heading downstairs.
~~~~~~
Tessa
I run the water as hot as I can stand and slide my body into the large tub, hugging my knees to my chest. The steam from the water boils up around me, the temperature stinging my skin.
The fact that I’m so calm is strangely disconcerting. I should be freaking the fuck out right about now. A pregnancy scare, getting the shit beat out of me by my estranged husband, and the man I could possibly be dating has a son.
“Good Lord,” I whisper to no one but the bathroom vanity. How had my life gone from me being anonymous a week ago, meeting the man of my dreams, to lying in his tub full of hot water and Epson salts?
I was supposed to be getting my life back on track, making it better. Instead, I’m where I had been only a few months ago. I stretch my body out and close my eyes, laying my head back on the towel I’d laid on the edge of the tub.
~~~~~~
I feel the soft touch of a finger glide up the inside of my leg and I jerk my body painfully into itself. My head flies around to see Matthew holding up his hands in surrender. “I came to tell you the food’s ready and found you asleep.” He looks at me sheepishly. I move to cover myself with the sheet and he chuckles. “You getting modest on me now?”
I look at him, shaking my head. “No, it’s just…” I trail off, looking down to see my body covered in dark purple bruises. “It’s just…this.” I wave my hand down my body.
“I see them, but
I also see you, Tessa.” He stands and offers me his hand. “Come on, let’s get you out of there. The water’s cold.” He wraps me in a towel and wraps his arm around my shoulder, guiding me out of the bathroom and into his room where he’s laid out one of his T-shirts and a pair of his boxers for me. “Get dressed while I go get Jax up and I’ll meet you downstairs.” He turns me into his body, and the warmth of it engulfs me. I fold into him, and for the first time, I cry. I let all the tension and pain bubble up out of me.
He rubs my back. “There you go, baby, let it all out. He can’t get to you here, and he’ll never touch you again.”
“I’m sorry,” I sob out.
“For what?” he scoffs.
“For bringing this to you.” My words are muffled as I bury my nose into his broad, hard chest.
He turns to sit on the bed and brings me onto his lap, holding me against his chest. “Listen, I’ve dealt with men like him before. They’re lunatics with overinflated egos that make them sloppy.” He tilts me back, searching my face with his intense hazel eyes. “Are you too tired to go down to eat? Because I’ll bring it up to you if you want.”
I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, then clear the moisture from my cheeks. “I shouldn’t be around Jackson right now with the way my face looks.” Even though I had seen him this afternoon, I don’t think I’m fit, emotionally, to be around a child.
His brows knit together. “You sure you’re okay to be alone right now?” he asks, placing soft kisses on the side of my face.
I lay my hand on his chest and my forehead against his, which seems to be becoming a favorite show of affection for us. “I think it’s best.”
His arms tighten around me. “Okay, baby. I’ll get you propped up on some pillows and get you a movie going, then get you something to eat and some painkillers. But only if you need them.”
I look into his eyes. “How was I so blessed that you knocked on my door that day?”