The Way of Women

by Lauraine Snelling

  “Or at least think they do.”

  He turned the vehicle into Toledo Airfield, where the rescue choppers were deployed. “You get in anyone’s way and you’re back in the truck.”

  “Give it a rest, Frank. I’m a big girl now.”

  While she muttered into her camera case, he still heard her just before he slammed the door and strode across to the hangar. He caught himself whistling under his breath as he watched another Huey from the National Guard lift off.

  Jenn watched him go, finished changing the lens on her camera, checked that she had enough film, and slammed the door behind her. An incoming chopper hovered and landed, an ambulance already in motion. With the blades still rotating but visible now, two men in fatigues, gas masks dangling, hauled out a stretcher with an elderly woman strapped in it. Jenn made it just in time to snap one of the airmen handing the woman a muddy and wriggling dog. She wished she were close enough to get a shot of the woman’s face, but the EMTs blocked her view, and within moments the ambulance siren clicked on and headed out.

  Jenn hovered on the outskirts, trying to hear what the flyboys had to say. Something about a flooded house was all she could pick up.

  But they took time to bring in the dog, too. She wanted to hug them.

  The next landing produced two body bags and a horror story about finding the two in their car. The heat and gases that stripped the paint off the car had most likely killed the occupants instantly. From the airfield she could see the tall pillar that still rose from the decimated mountain. Such awesome beauty, such terrible destruction.

  When Frank waved for her, she capped her lens and returned to the Blazer. “Any suggestions where else I might go?”

  “Not where you want, I’m sure.”

  “I was out along the Cowlitz this morning. I’d go up the Toutle if I could …”

  “You can’t.”

  “There’s Swift Reservoir and Lake Merwin. Some real characters live out that way, but somehow …” She massaged her bottom lip with her teeth. “I hate to leave here in case something happens and I miss it.”

  “Have you had lunch yet?”

  “Not sure I had breakfast. My poor mother is positive I am going to starve to death. Her goal since I came home is to fatten me up.”

  “She’d have to go some.” At the look she gave him, he said. “I’m not blind, you know.”

  Ignoring his comment on her appearance, she continued. “Is there a list of those missing?”

  “We’re compiling one as people report in.”

  “What if someone wanted to disappear, start a new life? I mean, like finding all the bodies might never happen. Like Harry. If the sediment is over a hundred feet deep like they say …”

  “I know, that’s one of the difficulties. When do you stop looking?”

  “Have they brought in dogs yet?”

  “The surface is too hot, the mud too unstable.”

  “What about the farmers? Are they letting them go back up to see if they can save any of their livestock?”

  “Not yet. If that sediment dam goes at the lake, that wall of water could travel a hundred miles an hour.”

  Jenn shuddered. “I listened to the interview of that couple that made it out. What a miracle.”

  “They could so easily have been ground to pieces between all those logs.” He slammed the heel of his hand on the steering wheel. “But if they’d stayed out of there like they were supposed to … Idiots, total idiots. Then someone else gets killed going in to locate the blasted fools who weren’t supposed to be there in the first place. If someone’s got a death wish, they don’t need to take innocents out with them.”

  Jenn understood the rage. He had to deal with death and injuries all the time. When did it get to be too much? Especially after it happened to those he loved.

  “I need a drink.”

  “I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”

  “You’re on.”

  She knew he wanted something stronger, and not long ago she would have too, but somehow … She thought back to the wasted woman who flew west and left the drugs and booze behind. She who’d needed uppers to get rolling in the morning hadn’t thought of one in three weeks.

  Ever since she came home.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  “Not worth even that.” But they were; to her they were. Seemed like the life in New York had happened to another person, in another lifetime, or at least an alternate universe. As if in crossing the Rockies, she’d gone back in time, or like a snake, had shed her old skin and was now growing a new one.

  “Sheriff”—Maybelle’s voice crackled into the silence—“you’d better get your rear back in here. The big shots have arrived.”

  He muttered several swear words and pulled a U-turn at the next intersection. “I’ll take you up on the coffee another time, or would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”

  “You could come out to my folks’ house.” Now, why had she said that? Stockton, how appallingly down homme can you get? What was she thinking?

  He smiled at her over his shoulder. “I’d like that. Tell your mom I’ll call if I can’t make it. I haven’t seen your folks in too long a time.”

  Jenn caught back a smart retort. “Mom tried to get ahold of you. See you.” She gathered up her backpack and headed for her truck. Perhaps a round of the shelters would be a good idea. She checked her pockets for her miniature tape recorder. All together; now get some lunch, call home, no, may be better to go tell her mom in person. After all, how long had it been since she’d had someone to fuss over?

  MAY 19, 1980

  The five-block walk seemed like five miles.

  “Mommy?”

  “Um. Keep going.” Mellie pulled open the door to Cascade Middle School.

  A woman with auburn hair and a warm smile to match greeted her. “Hi, I’m Katheryn, and I’m just helping out here.”

  Mellie introduced herself and Lissa. “I’m looking for my husband, Harv. He drives a logging truck and was supposed to come home yesterday afternoon.”

  “I see. Then you are in the right place. You’ll have some forms to fill out, so if you take a chair, I’ll get them for you.” You both look too tired to stand.

  No one had Harv’s name listed, either as a rescued survivor or a missing person. After filling out the forms Katheryn brought her, Mellie only wanted to sink into a hole and forget the world existed. Right now, I’d settle for a folding chair or a blanket on the floor, she thought.

  “We don’t have lists from all the shelters,” the woman in charge told her. “We’ll call you.” But if Harv was well enough to be in a shelter, he would have called home. If she were at home to answer.

  Mellie and Lissa took one of the chairs against the wall.

  “Don’t give up, honey,” one of the others waiting said. “They are finding survivors all the time and bringing them out by helicopter. Best thing you can do is keep watching the news like the rest of us are doing. You hear it on the news faster than through officials. ’Course, they always wait to announce names until next of kin is located.”

  “I should have stayed home.”

  “Yeah, like me. I had to come search, just in case my hubby was injured too bad to be able to talk.” The round woman in jeans and a Seattle Mariners sweatshirt nodded toward Lissa. “Your little girl don’t look too good.”

  “She’s been ill.” Mellie rocked Lissa, sitting in the chair, softly kissing her head.

  “She going to be okay?”

  “I pray so.”

  “You mind me asking what’s wrong?”

  Yes, but … “She has a rare form of leukemia.” There she’d said the words to a perfect stranger.

  “Ah, no, not that little angel. I’m so sorry.”

  “Mrs. Wilhelm.” The announcement broke into their discussion.

  “That’s me.” The woman took a deep breath and stood. “Here.”

  “Would you come with me, please.”

  Mellie watc
hed her go. Good or bad, at least the woman might know something.

  Never had minutes stretched so long. When Lissa woke up, she rubbed her head fretfully. “I want to go home. Where’s Daddy?”

  “I don’t know.” Three simple words to carry such a load of despair.

  “When’s he coming?”

  Mellie tried swallowing, but her throat refused, too dry for her vocal cords to work right. How could a dry throat burn along with the backs of her eyes and her nose? She leaned her head against Lissa’s. “He’ll come as soon as he can.”

  If only she could believe that. With every passing hour the horror drew closer.

  “We’ll be closing in half an hour. If any of you have no place to go to, there is room here at the shelter.” The office worker who’d been answering questions all day crossed the room to talk to one of the others who waited.

  Mellie watched her nod and smile. Could they stay in the waiting room at the hospital? Or should she stay here? If only she could drive. She opened her purse to look at the car keys and the wallet he’d insisted she take. The three dollars remaining in her billfold would barely buy them dinner at a fast-food place. And they’d about finished off the snacks she’d brought along. All that remained was one piece of cheese, and that was something Lissa would eat.

  “Ma’am?”

  “Yes.” The woman stopped in front of them.

  “You say there’s room here at the shelter?”

  “Yes.”

  “I see. But I need to check on my father at the hospital before we check in here.”

  “Was he injured on the mountain?”

  “No, he had a heart attack when we got down here. We drove from Tacoma. It’s my husband we are searching for.”

  “Boy, never rains but it pours.” She shook her head. “Do you know the way?”

  “Yes, we walked from the hospital to here.”

  “Don’t you have a car?”

  “I … I don’t drive.”

  “Can your little girl walk that far?”

  “No, I’ll carry her.”

  “Perhaps you’d better see a doctor for her. How about I drop you off at the hospital, or if you would like, you could call over there and see how your father is doing, then you could stay here.”

  Mellie ducked her head, trying to think, to make a decision, but all she saw was confusion.

  “I could give her a ride.” Katheryn, who’d been four seats over, put away her notebook. “There are no more rooms to be had around here.”

  “That would be very kind of you.” The woman in charge laid a hand on Mellie’s shoulder. “Did you bring clothes or anything along?”

  “Only for Lissa. We didn’t plan on spending the night.” Mellie shifted the sleeping Lissa in order to stand. We didn’t plan any of this. Who would have ever thought …?

  “My name is Katheryn Sommers. My husband and son are missing in the eruption.”

  “Mellie Sedor. My husband, Harv, was driving a logging truck up there.”

  “Mommy, I gotta go potty.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you.” Katheryn dug her keys out.

  “Thank you.” When she returned most of the others had left, but Katheryn waited, as she’d promised.

  “Were you really planning to walk all the way?”

  “A policewoman took us to the hospital, then I walked here.”

  “I see. You’ll have to give me instructions to get to the hospital.” She slung her bag over her shoulder. “I should have started looking for a place to stay when I first got here. As it is, I’m staying in Kalama.” She held the door for Mellie. “You wait here. I’m parked around the side. I’ll bring up the car.”

  “That’s okay. I can walk it.”

  Once they were settled in the car, Mellie kept her arms wrapped around Lissa. They’d driven a couple of blocks before Katheryn asked, “What’s your little girl’s name?”

  “Lissa. She’s five.”

  “I heard you mention leukemia.”

  “Yes. I shouldn’t have brought her out like this, but …”

  “I know. You had to try to find your husband.”

  “I mean, how do they know who to even look for? Or where?”

  “At least he was working there, so someone has a record. No one else but me knew my son and his father were even up there.”

  “Why’d they—?” Mellie clamped her lips shut. How rude. After all, this was none of her business.

  “Why did they go up camping like that?” Katheryn stared straight ahead. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.” She stopped the car at the front of the hospital. “I’ll go park and be waiting for you inside near the door.”

  “Thank you.” By the time she got to the CCU, Mellie could have dropped down on a couch and fallen instantly asleep. If sleep would come. She was so exhausted that she might not be able to even if she stumbled into a bed. Her eyes burned, and the urge to rub them itched. However, her hands and arms were full. No fingers free to even rub her nose.

  She set Lissa on a chair in the hall. “I’m going over to ring that buzzer, okay? You stay right here.”

  Lissa nodded, without even opening her eyes. The transparent skin around her eyes showed purple like the bruises that happened so easily now.

  Mellie leaned against the wall while she picked up the phone. In response to the nurse’s question, she said she was here to see Mr. Johnson.

  “Are you a member of his family?”

  Mellie nodded, grateful she couldn’t be seen. “His daughter.”

  “He’s sleeping, but you can come in. Open the door when you hear it buzz.”

  “Thank you.” Mellie hung up the phone, picked up Lissa, settled her on her hip, and waited for the door.

  “I’m sorry, but you can’t bring a child in here.”

  “But—”

  “She’ll have to stay in the waiting room.”

  “Please, just let me see him. We’ll only stay a moment.”

  “All right, but no farther than the foot of the bed.” The nurse walked with them. “He is sleeping comfortably. There have been no more episodes. The doctor said we’ll move him to a regular floor in the morning if he continues as he has.”

  Mellie stared at the sleeping man, his bed half raised. Color had returned to his face, and in spite of the nose prongs and beeping machines, he looked to be sleeping peacefully.

  “I love you, Mr. Johnson,” Lissa whispered.

  Mellie hugged her daughter close. Too many times it had been Lissa lying in a hospital bed.

  “You can call for information in the morning.”

  “When he wakes, tell him we were here, would you, please? And that we are staying at a shelter.”

  “I’ll do that.” The nurse ushered them out, and the door clicked behind them.

  The sight of Katheryn waiting, someone that she at least knew by name, drew Mellie across the room. At Katheryn’s question, Mellie nodded and almost smiled. “He’s doing good—sleeping now.”

  “I’m glad.”

  A few minutes later they drove into the parking lot of the Cascade Middle School.

  “Are you sure you don’t want a doctor to see Lissa?”

  “I’ll give her some medicine and she’ll perk up.”

  And what was going to sustain her through the night? Please, God, let Lissa sleep through the night so she feels better in the morning. Let them find Harv and bring him to us. Please.

  She wore a gaping wound, her blood flowing out in rivers of gray. Her breath rose in streams of smoke. Down in her bowels, the tremors continued, and she could not rest. She had buried many friends and drowned her own kindred. Who would forgive her for such cataclysm? Who would blame her Creator?

  MAY 19, 1980, EVENING

  Mommy, I want to go home.”

  “I know. Me too. But we need to stay here tonight.”

  “Will Mr. Johnson be better tomorrow?”

  Mellie exchanged a look of commiseration with Katheryn. “Yes, but n
ot enough to drive.”

  “But what if Daddy is looking for us?” Lissa laid her head on her mother’s shoulder. “I want my daddy.”

  “Me too, baby, me too.” Mellie stared around the gymnasium of the Cascade Middle School. She saw people of every age, kids playing, some people looking into nowhere, the weight of sorrow or fear pressing them into their chairs. Off in the corner two men were setting up more cots, in line with the others, where blankets and pillows were stacked in the middle. One family had taken over a corner group, the mother instructing her children in making up the beds.

  Fragrances of cooking food floated from the cafeteria, overlaying that of floor wax, sour gym clothes, and pine-scented cleaning products.

  A baby wailed in one corner, and Katheryn’s attention followed the sound. Sure enough, the same young woman she’d seen at the center.

  “For Pete’s sake.” Her mutter carried to Mellie.

  “What?”

  “That baby that’s crying—I hope you’ll all be able to get some rest.” She hoisted her purse strap farther up on her shoulder. “If there’s nothing more I can do for you tonight, I’d better get going.”

  “Thank you so much for the ride.”

  Katheryn paused. “Are you sure Lissa will be all right here tonight? I mean, if she needs to see a doctor, I could take you back to the emergency room.”

  Mellie tried to sound sure of herself, but inside … “I’ll call her doctor in the morning.” She wiped a tear from her daughter’s cheek.

  “Don’t want to stay here,” Lissa whispered, another tear following the first.

  “There’s nowhere else to go. All the hotels and places are full. Besides, we don’t have any money for that.” She ignored the money in Mr. Johnson’s billfold. That was to be for emergencies only.

  A woman with gray hair in a slipping bun stopped in front of them. “Will all of you be staying?”

  “No.” Katheryn shook her head. “I have a motel room.” She patted Lissa on the back. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “ ’Kay.”

  “Thank you again.”

  “I need you to sign this paper. Please print your names in the first box, then your address and signature.” The woman whose badge read HI, I’M CAROL, held out the clipboard.