Circumstantial Memories

by Carol Ericson

  He didn’t plan on touching that one even with the long fork he still clutched in his hand. Lifting his shoulders, he continued tossing.

  Julia set the table and placed a small vase in the middle containing the wildflowers Shelby picked earlier. Ryder took his place across from her and expelled a long breath. Ever since he walked back into Julia’s life, they’d been on a carousel of emotions thanks to Brody. With the danger behind her, Julia could come to terms with Shelby having a father in the picture.

  “Do you want one of those beers you brought? Or the wine?” She half rose from her chair.

  “I don’t like to drink alone. Put the beers in the fridge for another time, and we’ll save the wine for when we have something to celebrate—maybe your lack of fuzziness.”

  “I’m ready to banish the fuzziness right now.” She took a gulp of water. “I planned to tell you about the pregnancy, Ryder. I was waiting for the right moment. You warned me you didn’t want a family, and I didn’t know how to break it to you.”

  “I was an ass. My views on family life made it hard for you to tell me. I get that.”

  “Then I got that call from Jeremy.”

  “You should’ve told me about that call.”

  “You’d just left for your next assignment. I knew any correspondence I sent wouldn’t reach you for a few months and it would be heavily censored when it did.”

  He stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork. That’s what he liked about his job. It could take months before he got any news from his family. Knowing this, they rarely contacted him about so-called family emergencies. He could remain blissfully out of the loop, but he didn’t want to be out of Julia’s loop.

  He volunteered for another two years in the field when his attempts to reach Julia failed. He should’ve tried harder to find her. His compulsion to step back from entanglements had cost him big time. Had almost cost him his daughter.

  “So you set off for Arizona by yourself to deliver the CD to Jeremy.”

  “I did it to…” A pink tide ebbed across her cheeks. “I did it to protect you.”

  “Black Cobra would’ve handled any fallout from that CD. Didn’t you realize Jeremy would go crazy when he saw you pregnant?”

  Julia pushed a few grains of rice around her plate. “I didn’t think he’d care.”

  “You really didn’t know Jeremy well, did you?”

  “No. After the whirlwind courtship, I discovered I’d married a stranger. And he’s still a stranger. I can’t quite recall the night of the explosion.” She picked up his empty plate. “Would you like more chicken?”

  “Yeah. That was great.” He noticed the crease between her brows. The events of the past few weeks had put her nerves to the test and she needed a break. And so did he. “Could you please bring me one of those beers and then tell me about Shelby? Show me her baby pictures. Tell me about her birth. Her first smile. Her first tooth. Her first word. Everything.”

  She set his plate and a bottle of beer in front of him. “You really want to know?”

  “Everything.”

  He twisted off the cap on his beer and then sawed into his third piece of chicken, never imagining he’d ever eat anything Julia Rousseau cooked.

  For the next hour and a half Julia filled him in on the details of Shelby’s life. They’d moved from the table to the sofa where she pulled out photo albums and her laptop to show him hundreds of pictures of Shelby.

  He studied each picture as if committing it to memory. He laughed, asked questions and marveled at Shelby’s brilliance. In short, he acted like a proud papa.

  Excitement fizzed along Julia’s veins like a fine sparkling wine from Rod’s cellar. Ryder wanted to be Shelby’s father. Did he want more?

  Only one way to find out.

  Julia stood up and stretched, tousling her hair and raising her arms above her head. The light material of her sundress whispered around her thighs and pulled tightly across her breasts.

  Ryder’s gaze, glued to the laptop screen for the past fifteen minutes, shifted to Julia, dipped to her legs and then skimmed up her body, catching on her breasts.

  His Adam’s apple bobbed and his eyes widened.

  A smile tugged at the corner of Julia’s mouth. She hadn’t lost her touch.

  “Another beer?” She bent over at the waist, giving him an eyeful of her cleavage, and swept up his empty bottle from the coffee table.

  “No, thanks.”

  “That’s good.” She twirled around and headed for the kitchen, swaying her hips, feeling Ryder’s gaze hitched to every swing.

  “Good? Why is that good?”

  She plunked the bottle down on her kitchen counter and then sashayed her way back to the living room. “I don’t want you to be impaired while you…” Ryder’s eyebrows disappeared under a shock of sun-streaked brown hair “…drive home.”

  Licking his lips, he dug his elbows into his thighs and hunched over the laptop again.

  Julia dropped onto the sofa next to him, wiggling her hips to scoot in closer. Her fingers played across the broad slabs of muscle on his back outlined by his T-shirt. Then she flicked them through the curls at the nape of his neck. “It’s been a long time.”

  He snapped the laptop shut on Shelby’s dimpled smile. “You’re playing with fire, Julia.”

  “Maybe I want to get burned.”

  He twisted toward her, capturing both of her wrists in one large hand. “Prepare to get scorched.”

  Leaning forward, he took possession of her lips in a kiss so hot that she could’ve sworn the coral nail polish on her toes melted. Did she really think she could call the shots and control the tempo with Ryder McClintock? The man always knew what he wanted…and took it.

  Better yet, he knew what she wanted.

  And right now, his warm hand with its rough finger pads moving up her thigh hit the spot precisely. He pulled her into his lap and angled his mouth over hers, deepening the kiss. Reaching beneath his shirt, she trailed her fingernails along his sides and splayed her hand across his flat, hard belly.

  A breath hitched in his throat and he pulled her lower lip between his teeth. When Ryder kissed her, really kissed her, the sensation lasted for days. That, she remembered.

  She slipped two fingertips just inside the waistband of his jeans. In response, he slid his hand into her panties, cupping her bottom. Always had to do her one better.

  His mouth lingered on hers for a moment longer before his tongue teased her earlobe. Arching her back, she brushed her breasts against his solid chest. Ryder hooked a finger around the strap of her sundress and dropped it off her shoulder. He planted a path of kisses down her neck, sending a shaft of pleasure to her toes. She shuddered, a moan escaping from her lips.

  “Do you remember everything now?” He caressed her cheek, his blue eyes darkening with passion.

  “Everything about you,” she breathed out, curling her arms around his neck.

  Apparently she had the right answer. Ryder pushed up from the sofa, lifting her in his arms as if she weighed as little as one of those kittens Shelby wanted.

  She wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her into the bedroom and tossed her on top of the new bedspread.

  She snorted. “Are you in a hurry or something?”

  “You had the luxury of not remembering what you were missing all these years.” He yanked his T-shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. “While I dreamed about you every night.”

  She drank in his bare chest, all hard angles and flat planes. His biceps bunched in knots as he reached forward and unbuckled his belt. It gaped open and Julia’s gaze snagged on the bulge in his jeans. Those must’ve been some dreams he had.

  He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off one boot. As he struggled with the second, she heaved an impatient sigh and scrambled off the bed. She landed in front of him and tugged at the stubborn boot. With a final pull she tumbled backward, landing on her bottom, Ryder’s boot in her lap.

  Laughing, Ryd
er pulled off his socks and tossed them over his shoulder. “Never helped a man with his boots before?”

  “You never wore cowboy boots in Paris.” She tossed the boot over her shoulder and prowled toward Ryder on her hands and knees.

  His lids dropped half-mast over his eyes, as he leaned back on the bed on his elbows. Julia crawled forward and settled between his legs. She unfastened his jeans now tight over his crotch, and his erection tented his plaid boxers.

  She ran her hand over his hard desire and swallowed. How could she have ever forgotten? He stood up, and she pulled down his jeans and underwear over his muscled thighs.

  “Come on up here.” His husky voice sent a ripple of longing down her back.

  He encircled her waist with his hands, and she stood on her tiptoes to press the length of her body along his. The warmth of his bare skin seeped through the thin material of her sundress.

  “Did you learn modesty somewhere along the line?”

  She shook her head, and Ryder reached around and tugged down her zipper. The dress fell from her body with a whisper, and Ryder pulled her back into his arms as if he couldn’t bear to have any space between them.

  Then he fell backward on the bed, bringing her along. She shimmied out of her panties and straddled his hips. She leaned forward, her body hovering above his, and whispered, “I’m ready for my riding lesson now.”

  “You don’t need lessons, babe, just a refresher course.” A big grin split his face. “But before you take me for a ride, I’m going to take you for a ride.”

  Gripping her waist, he flipped her onto her back and skimmed his erection between her breasts and along her belly. His lips followed the same path, and Julia lifted her hips in anticipation of his sweet caress.

  As his mouth met her heated flesh, she dug her heels into his buttocks. The memories flooded her mind as the sensations flooded her body. Ryder had put her first. He always had.

  Her fingers clawed through his hair as he took her to a precipice as high as the Colorado Rockies that loomed majestically outside her window. Her climax ripped through her, and while her muscles still clenched in wave after wave of pleasure, Ryder entered her. Julia squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to wring every ounce of joy from the feeling of completeness Ryder gave her.

  “Open your eyes,” Ryder commanded in a guttural voice.

  Her lids flew open and her eyes met Ryder’s fierce gaze. His breath hissed between his teeth as he drove into her. He growled his release and she folded around him, never wanting to let go.

  Later, Julia curled up against his side, her fingers playing across his collarbone. She landed a kiss on his shoulder. “How could I have ever forgotten that? Forgotten you?”

  “Brody was wrong about a lot of things, but I think he hit the nail on the head with this one. I had already come back into your life. You felt less urgency to remember me.”

  “Maybe. Now our time together is all I can think about. All I want to think about.”

  “My thoughts are running in one single direction right now. Ready for the refresher course?”

  “Mmm.” She trailed her tongue along his throat, savoring his salty, masculine taste.

  The phone on the nightstand interrupted her single-minded course and she pulled away from the feast in front of her. “I have to get this in case it’s the Stokers. Shelby gets homesick sometimes.”

  She fumbled for the phone across Ryder’s chest. “Hello?”

  “Julia, this is Sheriff Ballard. I have some interesting news for you about Dr. Brody.”

  “You found him?” She bolted upright.

  “Yeah, we found him all right. At the bottom of the gorge off Highway 160.”

  Chapter Ten

  The rosy flush on Julia’s face faded to white. Ryder smoothed her hair back from her cheek and mouthed the words, “What’s wrong?”

  She held up her hand to him. “I—is he dead?”

  Brody was dead? Relief surged through his body. He couldn’t help it. The proof they had against Brody didn’t amount to much, and Ryder didn’t want the doctor out on the streets.

  “Uh-huh, I see.” She clutched the phone in her hands, her knuckles as white as her face.

  Ryder couldn’t take the suspense anymore. He snatched the phone from Julia’s stiff fingers. “Ballard, this is Ryder. What’s going on?”

  “Dr. Brody’s car went off the road on Highway 160 and plunged into the gorge. He’s dead.”

  “Do you think he did it on purpose?”

  “I don’t know. The Colorado State Patrol just recovered the car and his body. No autopsy or accident report yet. I’ll keep you posted. By the way, you know your brother graduated from the police academy today and is coming home day after tomorrow, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, the family is throwing a big party for the prodigal son.”

  “They didn’t throw one for you.”

  “Different situation.”

  “Because you’re not home to stay?”

  “Something like that.” His gaze slid sideways to Julia, pleating the folds of the sheet in her lap. “Are you coming to the homecoming party?”

  “Sure thing. I have to be there to welcome my new deputy sheriff.”

  “Who’ll be minding the store?”

  “Zack’s got it covered.”

  That gave Ryder a warm and fuzzy feeling. “Okay, see you there, and keep me updated on Brody.”

  Ryder ended the call and tossed the phone on the bed. “That’s it. Brody’s car took a tumble off Highway 160. He died in the crash.”

  Julia sawed her bottom lip. “That’s the same highway I went over.”

  “It’s a dangerous road.”

  “But I crashed in a snowstorm. It’s summer, and we haven’t even had a summer drizzle.”

  “That highway is a hazard any time of the year, especially if you’re agitated. You’re safe now, babe.”

  “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  Ryder scooped her against his chest and stroked her hair. “You’re safe.”

  “WHY’D YOU DO IT?”

  “The LAPD doesn’t have enough officers to police that city. The department is understaffed and underappreciated. Time to go.” Rafe shrugged and took a long pull from his beer.

  Ryder kicked the leg of his little brother’s chair. “The truth. It was a woman, wasn’t it?”

  Rafe studied the label on his bottle and scratched a corner with his fingernail. “Two women.”

  “Unbelievable. Do Pam and Dad know they owe the presence of their darling boy to a ménage à trois gone bad?”

  “Whoa, who said anything about a threesome? I take my women one at a time…on alternate days.” Rafe stretched his lanky legs in front of him, crossing his arms behind his head.

  “And they had a problem with that? I’ve seen the women you date.”

  “Nothing wrong with an air-headed bimbo. Much less work. Why are we talking about my personal life when yours is so much more interesting for a change? I was back in town for five minutes when I heard you and the amnesia chick were an item and I’m an uncle.”

  Crossing his arms, Ryder bunched his fists against his biceps. Rafe could make light of the women he dated, but he’d better not try that crap with Julia.

  “Don’t call her that. She’s almost completely regained her memory, and yeah, I’m a dad if you can believe that.”

  “That’s a hard one to swallow from the antifamily man.” A smile quirked the corner of Rafe’s mouth. “But that’s one cute little girl…Shelby, not Julia. Don’t punch me.”

  “I didn’t realize you were around long enough to meet them.”

  “I saw them around a few times in the weeks I was here before heading off to the academy.”

  “They’ll be at the party, and I don’t want you hitting on Julia or otherwise being an ass.” Ryder stood up when he saw Gracie Malone coming up the drive, carrying an apple pie. Charlie followed behind, grasping a crate with two more pies.

  Rafe shook his head. “Tha
t’s cold, dude. I don’t hit on my brothers’ girlfriends.”

  “What about Sheila Cramer?”

  “High school? You’re bringing up high school? I’ve matured since then.” Rafe’s boyish grin cracked his face.

  “Yeah, right.” Ryder jogged down the porch steps and reached for Gracie’s pie. “Let me get that for you, Gracie. I’ll bring it to Pam in the kitchen.”

  “She must be bursting at the seams now that she has a granddaughter.” Gracie’s nose twitched. “I’m sure that put Millie Stoker’s nose out of joint, because she set herself up as Shelby’s adoptive grandmother. I always thought that was greedy of her. She has plenty of grandchildren of her own, which is more than some of us can claim.”

  She shot Charlie a withering look, and he hunched his shoulders, which made him look even more like the Incredible Hulk.

  Turning toward the door with the warm pie balanced on his palms, Ryder compressed his lips. He thought Pam was bad. He pitied the poor guy.

  An hour later, Siverhill’s locals filled up the McClintocks’ ranch house and spilled onto the patio in the back of the house. Ryder circled his parents’ large oak dining room table, which almost groaned beneath the platters and bowls of home-cooked food. In Silverhill they did things old-school. Rafe had some adjustments ahead of him.

  Ryder dropped some ribs on his plate, followed by some of Millie’s potato salad, and spread some butter on a hot roll straight out of Mrs. Ballard’s oven.

  While he ate and chatted, he kept one eye on the entrance. Julia and Shelby hadn’t shown up yet. Because of all the small-town gossip, he and Julia decided to break the news to Shelby yesterday that she had a father. They’d held their breaths while Shelby wrinkled her small nose. Then she patted Ryder’s knee and asked, “Can I call you ‘Daddy’ now?”

  Totally choked him up. Julia had smiled, but a small crease appeared between her brows. She still didn’t completely trust him and she was probably wise not to. He didn’t know how long he could remain a father to Shelby.

  Then he heard a high-pitched giggle and a little whirling dervish with flying golden curls was barreling straight toward him. He caught Shelby in his arms and knew he’d be her father forever.