Daddy's Sweetheart Parts 1-5: The Complete Collection

by Rachel Burns

  He told me that I shouldn't think of him as my daddy anymore. I should call him by his name.

  I practiced it in my head, but it felt wrong.

  I took the money, the baby car seat and my backpack and went down to the taxi. I told the driver where to take me. I could tell that he didn't want me in his taxi. He was relieved when I got out and paid him.

  I looked up at the hospital a moment before I had the courage to walk in.

  As soon as I appeared, they called out another one. I had to fill out papers, and I did as I was told and filled in Carol's social security number and her birthday.

  They brought me to a room and asked when the father was coming. I told them that he was in the army, and out of the country. The lies flowed effortlessly from my lips. Just like Angelina and Carol said they would.

  I had to wait for hours before anything really happened. I stayed in my room and suffered all alone.

  I was scared, and I wanted my Daddy. I needed him to make everything better, but my life wasn't meant to take that path. It would just be baby and me from now on.

  I just wished that I wasn't so alone. I needed someone to hold my hand.

  “Push. I can see the head.”

  I nodded at the doctor and pushed as hard as I could. I heard a scream. It wasn't mine. The baby was screaming.

  “It's a girl,” someone called out.

  “She's all red. Is that normal?” I was worried because I hadn't been to a doctor at all while I was pregnant.

  The doctor took the baby and looked her over. “Your daughter is perfect. Have you picked out a name for her?”

  “Sarah. I want to name her Sarah.”

  “That's a good sound name. It means princess.” The doctor was a lot like Daddy. He talked to me like I was younger than I was.

  “When do we get to go home?” I asked.

  “Everything looks great for both mother and child. Tomorrow after breakfast, I'm guessing. Let me be the first to congratulate you.”

  “Thank you, doctor.”

  The nurses cared for Sarah and dressed her. They helped me back to my room, and I got to hold onto Sarah.

  Another nurse came to visit me. She talked to me about the importance of breastfeeding. She was pleased when I agreed to try it.

  Throughout everything Sarah screamed. I was getting the feeling that she didn't like me. The only time she didn't scream was when my breast was in her mouth. As soon as she finished eating, she screamed again.

  The nurses burped her and laid her in her bed, and she would sleep a little. If I burped her, she just cried.

  The next morning, I got up and worried about how I was going to do all of this. I couldn't let her cry the house down. We would get kicked out.

  After the final examination, the doctor gave me the birth certificate and wished us all the best. He told me that he hoped that my husband would soon be home.

  I put Sarah in her car seat and went to get a cab. I told the driver to drop me off a few blocks from the bakery.

  I walked in through the front door, and the family swarmed around me. Carol got Sarah out of the car seat and asked what her name was.

  I told them and they praised her beauty. She was wide-awake and looking at everyone.

  “She recognizes our voices,” Tony told everyone.

  All the customers wanted to see Sarah and hold her too. My heart stopped as I worried about her getting dropped or someone just taking off with her, but a while later, she was back in my arms. I kissed her forehead and told her that I loved her.

  “You were worth it,” I whispered in her ear. I would lie, beg, borrow and steal for her. I had committed my first crime for her, insurance fraud.

  Chapter 13 – Thanksgiving

  “Have you checked every lead?”

  “I'm sorry, Brian, but we don't have any leads. She has disappeared into thin air. It’s time that we think about having her declared dead.”

  “Dead? Amelia dead?”

  “She has been gone for over five months. No one has seen her. There has been no sign of life in all that time.” Jake feared that Brian's first notion was right. Someone who hated him had her and had killed her.

  “It's too soon to give up. Have your men keep looking.”

  “Of course, Brian. You're right it is too soon. Seven years is the normal time. We still have a lot of time. I'll have my men keep looking for her.”

  “Thanks Jake.”

  ***

  Angelina told me that I had the rest of the month off to get to know my daughter. It was hard to believe that I had a daughter. I held Sarah and talked to her. She had such a smart look in her eyes. Everyone said how beautiful she was.

  Sarah was a very awake child, to put it nicely. She only seemed to want me when she was hungry.

  After I fed her, Angelina took her, and Sarah was good for her. Angelina assured me that I would get a knack for her. It just took time.

  I wanted Sarah to like me now. She seemed to like everyone else better than me. I was a necessary evil that fed her.

  Carol whispered that I was having the baby blues to her mother one morning at the breakfast table.

  “No, I don't. It just saddens me that she cries every time I hold her. She sleeps when anyone else but me puts her to bed. I have a strong feeling that she doesn't like me.” I sat down and sobbed. I had hardly slept at all since she was born.

  “Amelia, I went through the same thing with my second child. Everyone called him a little sunshine. My little sunshine lived in mom's arms until he was three months old. We are so close now. He made a picture yesterday of us holding hands at the park, hearts were all over it.”

  “It's just air,” Angelina assured me. “You hold her, and she thinks of food, so she gulps air. I hold her and she knows that I am running on empty. I can't fool her. The next two days just you hold her. You'll see. She loves you the most.”

  The next two days, only I touched her. I changed her dirty diapers and walked up and down with her. She cried a lot the first day, but by the second she had settled down.

  Angelina declared that too many people had been around Sarah. She just needed her mother.

  I held my baby tightly to my heart.

  Sarah had a strong personality. She wasn't like me. If something happened that she didn't like, she said something, in the only way she could. It was a very good trait to have.

  It didn't matter what personality she had. I would love her no matter what.

  My daughter liked me that meant that I was happy.

  One morning, Angelina came into my room and told that I was going to Sarah shopping.

  I was scared to leave the safety of their apartment and store. I worried that I would be spotted.

  “You have rarely had money in your hands. That isn't good. You worked hard for us, never complaining. Sarah wears hand-me-downs from Carol's daughter, and you wear Carol's and Cindy's hand-me-downs.”

  I could see that just saying Cindy's name was painful for her.

  “Tony and I talked about this. We want you to take this money and go shopping. Carol already brought over her baby carriage. You can borrow it. You need to get out and see things. This will be good for your mind. You have been cooped up here too long.” She slid an envelope over to me.

  “Aren't you afraid that I will just take off with the money?”

  “It's your money. You earned it. That's not mine. If you work for us, we pay you. That's how it works.”

  “Yes, but I live here for free, with Sarah, you pay for my food and clothes as well as for Sarah's.”

  “That doesn't count. The clothes are just lying around. Cindy isn't coming back, and Carol isn't going to get her old figure back. All the things you wear we should have donated long ago. That didn't cost us a cent. A baby grows out of clothes so quickly. You are just borrowing Carol's things. Besides, I also cook too much. You don't eat much. We still have leftovers. And as for living here with Sarah – When we found out that we wouldn't be seeing our daughter agai
n, I was devastated, but I know that she is alive. One day, she may run away, and I want someone to help her. How could I turn my back on you and expect someone to help my Cindy? When I stand before God, it will be with my head held high.”

  We were both crying when she finished talking. “Still, I don't want to take advantage of you.”

  “Enough.” She stood up. When she said enough, it meant that she had spoken her last word. “You are going to have a mother daughter day. The holidays are coming up. There are lots of things on sale. Go get your daughter ready and have a nice day with her.”

  I proudly pushed Sarah into a store. A man had jumped ahead of me to open the door, so I could push the carriage in. I thanked him wholeheartedly.

  I had never pushed a baby carriage before, but I quickly found out that it was something that required practice.

  I went right to the baby section. I knew what I wanted to buy. I wanted Sarah to have one of those German teddy bear dresses.

  I asked the clerk if they had them. She nodded and gave me the once over. She must have thought that I looked too poor to know about such things.

  We went to the children's department, and I saw them. They only had a few, but I grabbed onto the blue velvet one. I had worn the same dress for Christmas last year. “This will look great with her blue eyes.”

  I got her a white blouse to go under it and a dark red sweater. Angelina told me to buy an outfit for Sarah that I would always want to keep. This was it. The total came to three hundred and seventy-five dollars.

  I paid without batting an eye. I would save on something for me. I didn't need anything new. I would just get a sweater.

  I ended up finding something on sale that was very nice. I went into a restaurant and ordered something to eat. Sarah was sleeping next to me. I had stopped in a toy store to get her a few things. Sarah had been wide-awake as she listened to the other children. She fell asleep as soon as we left.

  I wanted her to wake up so I could play with her. I had a few books that I wanted to read to her.

  I couldn't wait for her to wake up.

  When we got home, I showed Angelina and Carol our purchases. They loved Sarah's new dress. I was glad that they didn't ask what it cost. I played with Sarah on the floor and read to her. I was so happy.

  Everything had turned out just like it should.

  The bakery was open on Thanksgiving morning. Angelina was upstairs making our meal and taking care of Sarah. I was so lucky to have found them. I was in the kitchen getting orders ready. I only came out when Tony Senior called back to say that someone was here to pick up their order.

  At one o'clock, we closed the store.

  Angelina had set the table, and we all sat down. With one arm, I held Sarah as she slept on my shoulder and with the other one I held my fork.

  Everyone ate until they had stomachaches.

  That wasn't the sign to stop eating. It was the sign to take a short break.

  Angelina made jokes saying that she needed to fatten us up for the winter.

  Carol's husband was dropping hints that he wanted another baby. Carol was happy with her two. He asked me about how Sarah was getting her shots.

  I shrugged my shoulders. He told me that he would look into a place that gave them with no questions asked.

  Carol didn't think there was such a place. She told me that I needed proof to enroll Sarah in school one day.

  I was getting that sinking feeling again. I wanted Daddy to take over and keep these things away from me. I wasn't being a good mother to Sarah. I kissed her tiny head and held her over my heart. If only I could protect her from everything, even viruses and bacteria.

  “Don't worry.” Tony Junior shook his head. “We have connections to the mafia. The blond boy who comes in with his friends, and they all wear school uniforms, is the son of the head of the New Yorker Mafia. They could get fake papers that look so real the feds would believe you.”

  I had seen him before. That boy was only a couple years younger than me. He came in with his friends, and every one greeted him like he was a movie star. Tony came out to greet him personally each time he came in. Tony pinched his cheeks and told him how much he was growing. The young man took it all in stride and asked about Angelina's health.

  I suspected that there was something going on there, but the blond hair threw me off.

  “That's an option. We would owe them a big favor, but Amelia and Sarah would be worth that.” Tony Senior was biting his lip as he thought about it.

  “Could it be done so just I owed them something?”

  Tony Junior leaned forward and looked me in the eyes. “That's not how an Italian family works.”

  Everyone nodded, agreeing with him.

  It was another way of saying that I was one of them.

  Cindy had lost so much when her Daddy took her away. I knew that I was just her replacement, but it felt so good to be a part of something that was greater than what I was alone. Sarah also had a family where she could grow and thrive.

  “Thank you.” I had wanted to speak out clearly so they knew that I really did appreciate everything that they did for me, but my words came out in a whisper. I swallowed hard and started my second try. “Thank you for everything you have done for me. Without all of you, I would have been lost.” I was all choked up.

  Carol jumped to her feet and hugged me. Angelina stood behind her like she was lining up. She wanted to hug me next.

  Tony Senior wiped tears out of his eyes.

  I had a real family now.

  Chapter 14 – Learning To Live Without You

  “Nanny, dinner is served.”

  Nanny looked up at Mr. … surprised that he had spoken. She didn't hear what he said. She had been lost in thought, thinking about Amelia. “It's been over six months. Where is she?”

  Brian's jaw tightened. “I don't know.” He felt like he was just a shell of himself. The half-year mark had made things worse for him. It seemed so unlikely that he would ever see her again.

  “Did you say that it was time to eat?”

  “Yes, Nanny Prim.”

  She got up and went to the table, taking her spot across from Amelia's empty chair. That chair used to seat a wonderful being, a child so full of life. Now this house was quiet, too quiet.

  Brian also glanced over at Amelia's chair. He had asked himself a million times, if he had let her grow up, would she still be here?

  He missed her.

  Brian fantasized about her walking in the door and taking her spot at the table. If he was at worked, he daydreamed about her walking through the door or being in his office when he came in in the morning.

  At night, he dreamed about her slipping into bed beside him.

  “This not knowing is killing me.” Nanny looked at her employer. She was surprised that he still kept her. She didn't have anything to do all day other than think about Amelia.

  Brian nodded upset. Nanny's words had stopped his daydream. It had been a wonderful daydream; Amelia had just walked in the door and wrapped her arms around him from behind as he sat in this chair. She was just about to step to the side, and he would have seen her smiling face.

  Nanny ruined that. He hated her. She was a constant reminder about what he had once had.

  The only reason he still employed her was because Amelia loved her. If she came home, she would expect to see her nanny. He owned it to her.

  If someone was hurting his little sweetheart just because of who he was, then he had to make her return as pleasant as possible.

  If she returned home after running away, he would make sure the two women never saw each other again.

  ***

  I smiled at Sarah and rubbed my nose against hers. I was going to go back to work now. I had fed her and burped her. She was awake and cheerful. I hated to leave her.

  Angelina took her and told me that she and Sarah would have a great morning. She promised to come get me if Sarah needed me.

  I was just going downstairs. I had helped
out several times the past month, but this time I would be gone for a full four hours.

  I wanted to earn our keep. It was important to me that they know that I wasn't just using them.

  They treated me like their daughter. My being there, living in Cindy's room helped them get over the loss.

  The idea that some man could come along and take my Sarah away from me made me sick. Sarah and I belonged together.

  I fell right back into the routine of work. It was like I hadn't been gone at all. I stayed in the kitchen and baked and decorated.

  Tony Senior said I had potential. One day I would be really good at this. He wanted to send me to cake decorating classes. He felt that it was a good trade for a woman to have.

  Carol had worked in the bakery while she went to high school. Tony was the obvious choice to take over one day, and Cindy had been a master of getting out of chores.

  The others rarely talked about her. Sometimes something would slip, like the joke with the chores. Afterwards, they felt guilty for saying something like that.

  I tried to tell myself that I was too different from Cindy to replace her. But things would probably get difficult if Cindy were to show up one day.

  It was probable. I had gotten away and showed up without a moments notice too.

  “Amelia, I need you out front.”

  I went to the counter and helped out several customers until the lines were shorter. I looked at the clock high on the wall. It was late. I had been away from Sarah for five hours. My breasts were heavy with milk. I needed her as much as she needed me at the moment.

  I cleaned up the back room as quickly as I could. Then I went back out front and told Tony Senior that I was going to go up to the apartment now.

  “No problem, Amelia. Angelina will cook something for you.” He handed me a loaf of bread and sent me up.