Crossed Bones
Page 33
As Scott drove away, I knew something special had just left my life. Why hadn't I been able to love Scott completely? Was it because Coleman was in the way? Or was it because I could only love a man I couldn't have? Loving the unattainable was safe. That love could never be tested by day-to-day reality.
As I passed through the parlor, I saw Jitty's fractured reflection in the cut-glass decanter.
“Three men in one night, Sarah Booth. Tinkie was right. That must surely be a record.” She was wearing jeans rolled up at the ankles, white canvas shoes, a cotton shirt, and a bandana on her hair.
“Looks like you're having a picnic,” I said as I pushed through the swinging door into the kitchen.
“Looks like you're having a hangover.”
“Nothing like pointing out the obvious, right?”
“It's obvious to me that you're a fool. Pick up the telephone. Call him. He'll come back.”
I shook my head again. “Scott deserves a woman who can love him without reservation. I'm not that woman.”
“And Bridge?”
I shook my head. “I'm glad he wasn't behind Ivory's death, but I don't love him.”
“Pass some more time with him. A man like him has to grow on you.”
“He's not a mold,” I said, preparing the coffeepot.
“No, he's a rich man who's going to be spending a lot of time in Zinnia, what with his new blues club and all.”
“He may be your dream, Jitty, but he isn't mine.”
“Dreams are peculiar things, Sarah Booth. I don't think this is Ivory's exact dream, not the way he imagined it, but I think this may be the best outcome he could have hoped for. Emanuel saw the truth. Ivory would be proud of him.”
I plugged in the percolator and turned to face Jitty. “Ivory would be proud. Of Emanuel and Scott both.” It was something good from all of the bad things. “I wish he were alive to see it.”
“Oh, he sees it, Sarah Booth. Don't you worry about that. He knows.”
She spoke with authority, and who was I to question the wisdom of a ghost? I poured a cup of black coffee and started the long exercise of pulling my life back together.
“I'm sorry Scott is leavin' town. Now that he's gone and you aren't gonna run off with him, I can see he had the potential for makin' a mighty fine baby.”
Babies were the last thing I wanted to think about. “Connie managed to snare a sperm.”
“That's a mighty big assumption,” Jitty pointed out.
I looked at her long and hard. It was a big assumption, and if nothing else, I'd learned my lesson about assumptions the night before.
“Sarah Booth, you didn't get the man you wanted, but you still have the dream. You got to remember that's the important thing. Just hang on to the dream.”
I wanted to believe in dreams. Ivory had believed, and in the end, he had achieved nothing short of a miracle. His music would be heard by the world, his club would survive, and his son had been humanized by his love.
“Feel it, Sarah Booth. It's there. Your dream is still there. Where there's life, there's hope. It's a cliché because it's true.”
Although my head was still pounding, I did feel better. I finished my cup of coffee and put the cup in the sink. Looking out the kitchen window, I saw my family cemetery. The tombstones were nearly white in the August sunlight.
“What're you gonna do?” Jitty asked.
I suddenly knew. I was going to put on my boots, saddle my horse, and ride. I would let Reveler gallop over the cotton fields, with Sweetie Pie by my side, and in doing so, I'd start the process of healing my heart. Whatever I'd lost, I still had Dahlia House and the land.
“I'm taking Reveler for a ride.”
Jitty's smile took on a wicked glint. “Keep those thighs tight, girl, you never know when the right man's gonna walk into your life. When he does, you clamp those legs around him and make him scream for the Jaws of Life to cut him free.”
“You're a bad influence, Jitty,” I told her.
“Maybe so, but I'm the one who knows you best. And I know you don't need a man, you just want one.”
She was right. I didn't really need a man. I might want one, but I could live without one. That would be small comfort when I climbed into my bed at night, but for the moment, with the hip-high cotton fluttering in a gentle breeze, it was enough.
“Come on, Sweetie,” I said, picking up my boots from the back porch. “Let's ride.”
Books by Carolyn Haines
Crossed Bones
Splintered Bones
Buried Bones
Them Bones
Summer of the Redeemers
Touched
CROSSED BONES
A Delacorte Book / April 2003
Published by
Bantam Dell
A Division of Random House, Inc.
New York, New York
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved
Copyright © 2003 by Carolyn Haines
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher, except where permitted by law.
Delacorte Press is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc., and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file with the publisher.
Manufactured in the United States of America
Published simultaneously in Canada
Visit our website at www.bantamdell.com
eISBN: 978-0-440-33424-8
v3.0