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A Seaside Affair

Page 34

by Fern Britton


  ‘Did you see Dame Judi, just going in? And I’m sure that was Michael Gambon.’ Penny rubbed her swollen belly. ‘I’m still not sure this was a good idea. I never realised how uncomfortable your car could be for a woman who is eight months pregnant.’

  ‘Stop grumbling,’ said Helen.

  ‘And now I’ve got to sit still for the best part of an hour. What if I need a wee?’

  ‘You can sit near the aisle. Honestly, Pen, you know you wouldn’t have missed this for the world.’

  ‘None of us would, would we, Jess?’ added Jonathan, hugging his girlfriend.

  Jess kissed him on the cheek and patted her own bump, smaller than Penny’s but definitely noticeable. She was positively blooming.

  ‘Of course not, darling. We’re all here except for Brooke. Ever since she left Trevay, her star has been on the rise. We’re not even sure she’s going to be able to do Blithe Spirit. Word is that she’s going to be Miss Moneypenny in the new Bond movie. Her last film, She’s Got It, was such a huge hit on both sides of the pond, I reckon she’s out of our league now.’

  ‘She was always destined for great things. She is a fine actress and a canny girl. I’m proud of her,’ said Colonel Stick.

  ‘Me too,’ said Ollie. Ollie had just appeared in a critically acclaimed production of a cutting-edge new play at the Royal Court and his career was back on track.

  ‘I’m sorry to miss being in Blithe Spirit,’ said Jess, ‘but Jonathan has got a plan B and I just can’t wait to be a mum. It’s all I’ve ever wanted really. Elsie and Ethel are going to make great big sisters.’

  ‘I saw that Ryan and Serena had broken up,’ said Helen.

  ‘Yeah, shame.’ Jess shrugged. ‘But the only person that Ryan really loves is himself. I hope one day he works it out.’

  The announcement came for the audience to take their seats.

  ‘Piran and Simon send their apologies,’ said Helen to the Colonel. ‘Simon has got Lenten duties and Piran just isn’t the London type. Said he’ll wait for the documentary to air on BBC4.’

  ‘That’s quite all right. My dears, would you both like to take an arm?’ Colonel Stick offered his elbows to Helen and Penny, who linked arms either side of him.

  ‘Don’t go too fast!’ warned Penny. ‘This cannonball is weighing me down.’

  *

  The lights dimmed and the audience fell silent.

  The film rolled and the audience sat rapt over the next hour as the greatest names of stage and screen were captured in front of them. The sound had been restored and the quality of the prints was excellent. Best of all, these old home movies captured the various legendary icons in all their humanity: Laurence Olivier joking with a stage hand, Vivien Leigh playful and ravishing as ever, Orson Welles majestic and brooding.

  At the end of the film, the credits rolled. The last image that the audience saw was of Peter and Walter, arms around each other’s shoulders, taking a bow after the first opening night of the original Hats Off, Trevay!

  The caption beneath read:

  In loving memory of Peter Winship, 1927–1985

  Colonel Irvine didn’t speak. He held tightly to Helen and Penny’s hands and stayed that way long after the rest of the audience had left the theatre.

  Epilogue

  The house jazz band struck up the familiar theme tune to the TV show as its glamorous star, Laverne Washington, vamped her way down the long and twinkling staircase to greet her ecstatic studio audience.

  She laughed her raucous, sexy laugh and then hailed the audience. ‘Good evening and welcome to The Laverne Show. Tonight, we go live to the new Brangelina film set where Brad has promised to take us on a tour of his new Winnebago!’

  This was greeted with whoops from the audience.

  ‘And – Will Smith is in the house!!!’ More audience hysteria. ‘But first, I am delighted to welcome to Laverne’s Lounge …’ The cheers and applause increased in volume, ‘… the girl on eveybody’s lips. The one and only, the fabulous Brooke Lynne!!’

  Brooke appeared at the top of the stairs in a Victoria Beckham scarlet dress. Her golden curls were pinned loosely on top of her head; her smokey eyes smouldered and her glossy, coral lips were parted in her trademark searchlight smile.

  As she walked down the steps, she was accompanied by the house band, playing a jazzed-up version of the Hat’s Off Trevay tattoo. Laverne waited for Brooke at the bottom of the stairs and they greeted each other like the old friends they were.

  Laverne guided Brooke over to a sumptuous couch. ‘Hey, girlfriend, what’s happened to you since we were roommates in Manhattan?’

  With great charm and humour, Brooke allowed Laverne to tease out the story of Brenda Foster and the low rent days of their lives as drama students.

  ‘And now,’ encouraged Laverne, ‘tell us about Hats Off Trevay? When does the movie open?’

  ‘At the weekend.’ Brooke replied. ‘I’m as nervous as a kitten but it’s such a good film. And behind it is the true story of a theatre and of the man who saved it, but if it’s alright with you, Laverne, why don’t we let him tell you the story for himself.’

  ‘Is he here?’ Laverne did an excellent job of looking as if she didn’t know what was happening next.

  ‘He certainly is.’ Brooke stood up. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, the man you’ve read all about, the man who wrote Hats Off Trevay … Colonel Walter Irvine!’

  To the amazement of the audience, a sprightly Colonel walked out in front of them and gave a deep bow.

  After lapping up the warm applause, he turned to Laverne and asked sweetly. ‘I have brought a friend with me. May I bring him on too?’

  Laverne nodded her rehearsed assent, bracing herself for the crowd’s reaction.

  Then with no fuss at all, Richard Gere stepped out in front of the lights.

  *

  The opening of Hats Off Trevay, the movie, was a glittering and starry event. Sitting in their stretch limo waiting their turn to pull up on to the red carpet, were Brooke, the Colonel, Ollie, Jess and Penny. Penny was holding her mobile phone to her ear and talking to Simon.

  ‘I can hear her crying – is she hungry? There’s a bottle in the fridge … I’ve been expressing all day … Well, maybe her nappy needs changing … Perhaps I’d better come back to the hotel?’

  Half a mile away, Simon was sitting in their luxury hotel suite cuddling his daughter, Jenna, and juggling the phone.

  It was his sixth call from Penny since she’d left twenty minutes before.

  ‘Darling, she’s fine. I’m fine. Don’t worry. Jenna and I are watching the live pictures of everyone arriving on the red carpet. Richard’s just turned up. I think this one is … yep, Emma Thompson.’

  ‘She’s in the car ahead of us!’ said Penny, looking through the tinted windows as the British star stepped out of her car into the glare of the waiting flashbulbs.

  ‘So, you’re next?’

  ‘Yes, oh God. Here we go. The car has stopped. I’d better hang up. Love you both.’

  Simon and Jenna sat rapt as they saw their friends disgorge from their limo. Brooke came out first, followed by the others, then after a small tussle with her shawl that had got stuck in the heel of one of her stilettos, out stepped his beautiful wife.

  ‘Look, there’s Mummy!’ He pointed to the screen. Jenna gave a hiccup and a big, gummy smile. Simon watched as Penny blinked under the pop of the photographers’ flashbulbs, but then she steadied herself, hitched up her skirt and stood in the blaze of light, grinning and putting two thumbs up for the camera.

  A reporter stuck a microphone towards her and asked, ‘Any messages for the folks back home, Miss Leighton?’

  Penny thought for a moment, before saying joyfully, ‘Not a bad turn out for a seaside affair!’

  The End

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  It’s a very cold day in January and the rain is lashing the Cornish coast as I type. The storms are so bad that ancient, landmark pieces of coastline are being to
rn down by the powerful waves.

  If this book were real, the much-loved Pavilions Theatre of Trevay would be in deep threat. Built up on the cliffs above the beautiful fishing village, the dressing rooms would be leaking and the orchestra pit under a foot of water.

  Dear Piran, Penny, Simon and Helen would roll their sleeves up and gather together a staunch work party to bail it out, though …

  In A Seaside Affair, our old friends battle to save the theatre from a rather different, but no less destructive, threat. I have spent the last year immersed in thoughts of Trevay and its people; it has become so real to me, and to some of you, that I hope you enjoy this next bit of their story.

  I grew up in the theatre and worked as a stage manager when very young. A lot of what I describe here has happened or certainly could happen given the right circumstances!

  As always, I couldn’t have got through the emotional maze of characters and plot without the immense wisdom of my editor Kate Bradley and the calming influence of my agents John Rush and Luigi Bonomi. I may not always look as if I am taking on board your steadying hands, but boy, do I appreciate them. You three are the tops.

  Liz Dawson, you are the best publicist and the best of women too.

  Thank you, Phil, for bringing me endless cups of tea and listening to plot dilemmas while you’re trying to watch the football.

  And thank you to the kids who keep me from going completely up my own bum, and the cats who always make me laugh.

  Finally to my parents who are both ninety this year. You are incredible and I owe everything to you.

  Fern

  About the Author

  Fern Britton began her career as a television presenter in 1980 after completing a stage management course at the Central School of Drama. In 1985 Fern became the presenter of the popular Coast to Coast, which led to presenting roles on prime time television shows, the most iconic of which was on ITV’s flagship show This Morning. Fern’s warmth, humour and empathy have made her incredibly popular and she has become a much sought-after presenter. In 2008 Fern released her autobiography Fern: My Story, which was a huge bestseller, and her first novel, New Beginnings, was the biggest selling debut of 2011. Fern is deeply committed to a number of charities, in particular those working with and for women, children and childbirth. She lives with her husband Phil Vickery, the well-respected chef, and her four children in Buckinghamshire.

  By the same author:

  Fern: My Story

  New Beginnings

  Hidden Treasures

  The Holiday Home

  If you enjoyed A Seaside Affair, why not buy Fern Britton’s latest short story, The Stolen Weekend?

  Best friends Penny Leighton and Helen Merrifield have swapped their hectic London lives for the leisurely pace of life in the pretty Cornish village of Pendruggan.

  Penny is in constant demand and juggling her life as a vicar’s wife alongside her day job as a hotshot TV producer is exhausting.

  Helen is at the end of her tether. Cornwall has been battered by the worst storms in living memory and the roof of her little cottage is in a terrible state. Her other half, the brooding Piran, isn’t being much help.

  So the two women cook up a scheme to get back to London for a weekend of blissful indulgence. But the best laid plans often go awry and for the Pendruggan ladies and the men they leave behind, their stolen weekend will turn out to be the very last thing they expect …

  Click here to buy now

  Copyright

  Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

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  Hammersmith, London W6 8JB

  www.harpercollins.co.uk

  First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2014

  Copyright © Fern Britton 2014

  Cover illustration © Robyn Neild

  Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2014

  Fern Britton asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

  A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

  This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

  Source ISBN: 9780007468560

  Ebook Edition © April 2014 ISBN: 9780007468584

  Version: 2014-03-12

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