Delicious and Suspicious

by Riley Adams

  “Well, I’m going to remind her that she also has a responsibility to her daughters. What kind of mother can she be to Coco and Ella Beth from prison?” said Jed.

  “The good news is that the girls don’t know anything about this,” said Lulu. “And I don’t plan on letting them find out.”

  “More good news,” said Jed, “is that they’re almost certainly going to end up releasing Sara, confession or no confession. They’re going to ask her things that only the killer would know—and I’m pretty sure she won’t know the answers.”

  Jed was right, and Sara was released by the end of the day. Not that she was all that pleased to be out, thought Lulu as she drove her home.

  “What on earth were you thinking?” asked Lulu, thumping her hand on the steering wheel.

  “Well, maybe I did do it,” said Sara in a petulant voice. “You weren’t there, Lulu. I was awfully mad at Rebecca. And I was there at the scene of the crime.”

  “And Mildred? You expect me to believe you’d actually kill poor Mildred?” asked Lulu.

  Sara sat in a stubborn silence for a minute. “I could have killed her, too, Lulu. She asked me to talk to her at the bookstore. She’d seen me at the Peabody. I had motive, after all. And opportunity. And the means was right there around her neck.”

  The next morning, Sara was back at the jailhouse bright and early. Because Sara was now spending so much time with Derrick, Lulu tried to make things as normal as possible for Ella Beth and Coco, who hadn’t yet been told what was going on and were out of school for a teacher inservice day.

  Ella Beth seemed determined to try and find out, though. Lulu caught her skulking around the kitchen. “What are you doing, honey?” asked Lulu. Ella Beth jumped.

  “Oh, nothing, Granny Lulu. I’m just collecting clues. It’s time for this case to be cracked.”

  Lulu lured her to the office with chocolate chip cookies. “Tell me what you’ve uncovered.”

  “Well, for one, I found out that Coco wears makeup at school and then takes it off in the school bathroom before she goes home.” Ella Beth handed Lulu an incriminating picture from her pocket. Sure enough, there was Coco with blush, eyeliner, and lipstick on, and a look of complete dismay on her face. Lulu groaned and handed the offending picture back to Ella Beth.

  Coco picked this moment to walk in. “What are you looking at?” she asked suspiciously.

  “Pictures of you looking like a blond Cleopatra,” said Ella Beth. “That’s an amazing amount of shadow on your eyes.”

  Coco stamped across the office and peered over Ella Beth’s arm. She gasped. “What are you doing with those? You took pictures of me in the hall at school?” She gave a weak smile at Lulu. “It was Halloween, Granny Lulu. I was dressed up like a model. You know.”

  “Funny,” drawled Lulu, “but you seem to have a tank top on. And it sure wasn’t that warm last October. We had that cold snap.”

  “Like I said,” said Ella Beth with a sniff, “These were recently snapped photos.”

  Coco decided it was time to take possession of these pictures. She ripped them out of Ella Beth’s hand and tore them into a million pieces. Whirling around, she left the office, slamming the door behind her.

  “Good thing I uploaded those pictures online,” said Ella Beth. “But then, Coco has always been behind the times.”

  Lulu couldn’t help but chuckle, despite loving Coco to pieces. “It’s good of you to look out for Coco at school. We don’t want people to think that she’s some kind of hoochymama. At least, I suppose that was your motivation.”

  Ella Beth smiled sweetly.

  “Did you find out any other interesting information during your detecting?”

  “I did take some more pictures, Granny Lulu. Because sometimes you need evidence, you know.”

  “Evidence of what?” asked Lulu. She could only imagine the kind of dirt that Ella Beth was digging up. She wasn’t going to be very popular at school if she kept behaving this way.

  “Evidence that Uncle Seb and Lurleen Ashton from Hog Heaven have been messing around.”

  “What?” Lulu glanced up to ensure the office door was securely shut. Although, truth be told, the office was probably the most unlikely place to find Seb lately. His work ethic had taken a major nosedive.

  “Like I said.” Ella Beth looked at Lulu, puzzled. She spoke a little louder, “Uncle Seb and Miz Ashton are messing around. I even told Coco about it a long time ago.”

  Lulu didn’t really want to know the definition of “messing around.” “Honey, they were seeing each other, but then they stopped just a few days later. Now Miss Ashton is just trying to get ahold of Uncle Seb to get him to come to the high school reunion.”

  Ella Beth looked dubious.

  “That’s what I’ve heard,” said Lulu.

  “I’ve come to a different conclusion, Granny Lulu.”

  “And how exactly did you come to this conclusion?”

  “Well, a few days ago, I went off to feed the ducks and fish on the river. Remember? Daddy had a bunch of stale hamburger buns and told me I could take them. So I headed off down the street to the Mississippi River.”

  Lulu nodded. “Go on.”

  Ella Beth started to warm up to her story. Lulu wondered if maybe she would do better to consider a career in journalism instead of detecting. “It was a hot day, so I put my hair up in a ponytail. I didn’t look a lot like myself, right?”

  Ella Beth never did anything with her hair, so Lulu could see where a ponytail would throw almost anyone off.

  “I threw the buns in the river, and they were gobbled up in no time. But I wasn’t really ready to go back to the restaurant yet.”

  Now Lulu was thinking that maybe they ought to think about keeping a closer eye on Ella Beth.

  “I turn around and who should I see, loving it up on a bench, but Uncle Seb and Lurleen Ashton. It was revolting.” Ella Beth looked ill from the memory.

  “Are you sure that’s who it was?” asked Lulu. But she had a sinking feeling that her tomcatting son was a likely match for Lurleen Ashton.

  Ella Beth gave a long-suffering sigh. “Like I said, sometimes you need evidence.” She pulled out some pictures from her pocket.

  Sure enough, it was Seb and Lurleen. And they were so absorbed in each other that they didn’t even notice there was a little girl taking a picture of them! Lurleen, thought Lulu cattily, had way too much makeup on her face and was wearing a too-tight, unflattering dress. Brazen hussy. Except Seb didn’t seem to mind it.

  “I’ll take these if you don’t mind, Ella Beth. You haven’t told anybody about this except for me?” Ella Beth shook her head. “Then do me a favor and don’t. And please stop sneaking around and taking pictures of things. I don’t want to see you get into any trouble, honey. There’s a real scoundrel on the loose.”

  Before Lulu could look for Seb and find out what in the dickens was going on with her younger son, she had some unfinished business to attend to.

  Coming out of the office, Lulu had noted Leticia Swinger walking warily into the restaurant. She scanned quickly, then seemed satisfied. The hostess seated her at a table for two by the window.

  Lulu approached Leticia’s table with some trepidation, which she hoped she hid with a big smile. After all, Leticia didn’t know she was on a special mission for Buddy. Lulu usually did sit down with Leticia for a few minutes and catch up while she was waiting on Leticia’s order to come up from the kitchen.

  Leticia smiled. “Hi, Lulu! Come to sit down with me for a few minutes? Tell me how things are going.”

  Lulu filled her in on the rebounding business at Aunt Pat’s. She wound up the short summary with, “And really, Morty, Buddy, and Big Ben had a lot to do with all the customers coming back in. They put on this wonderful blues concert the other night, and business has been booming again ever since.”

  Leticia seemed at a loss for words. Lulu said innocently, “You might not even know about their concert, Leticia. I noticed you hav
en’t been in for a little while.”

  “Oh,” said Leticia, drawing her finger though a circle of water her glass had left on the table, “I was in here after their concert. It’s just been the last few days that I guess I haven’t. Here’s the thing,” she said, leaning forward to talk to Lulu. “Maybe you can give me some advice, since you know all the players in the drama. Buddy asked me to go out with him.”

  “Oh?” asked Lulu, trying to look surprised.

  “That’s right. The funny thing is that I’d been dying for him to ask me out for the longest time. We seemed like we had a lot in common—he’s a musician, I’m a singer. But then . . .” Leticia hesitated.

  Lulu leaned forward a little more, waiting for the truth of Leticia’s rejection of Buddy.

  “I overheard him the last time I was in here. He was talking to his friend—the deaf one? So I could hear him really easily. He was telling them that he didn’t want to drink anymore. He sounded like he was such a conservative that I thought maybe I was wrong and we didn’t have as much in common as I thought.”

  Lulu’s eyes opened wide. A spontaneous laugh leaped out of her. She apologized to the frowning Leticia. “Honey, I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at how funny men are. Even the old ones turn into little boys again when they’re trying to impress a lady.” She reached out and patted Leticia’s hand. “He was trying to impress you. He drinks, he cusses, he dances. He thought that you didn’t do those things because you sing gospel at the Eternal Crown of Our Blessed Savior. He’s a very nice man, but not that nice.”

  Leticia laughed, too. “You’re right . . . men don’t really have a clue, do they? I would have jumped at the chance to go out with him before I heard him spouting all that nonsense. After all, Jesus himself drank!”

  “Want me to put a bug in his ear? Let him know you might be receptive to the idea of going out with him after all?” asked Lulu.

  “Sure. If you’d do that, it would be great. I don’t much feel like calling him up and asking him out myself. I’m liberated but not pushy. You know.”

  Chapter 15

  Lulu decided she’d address Seb’s wayward love life before playing Cupid for Buddy and Leticia.

  Lulu thought she knew where Seb was. That is, she thought his lazy self was going to be at home in the bed or watching television. She knocked loudly on his door, expecting another glimpse into one of Dante’s circles of hell when Seb opened the door. He didn’t answer. She tried calling the house to tell him she was on his doorstep, but there was no answer. Then she called his cell phone, but it went right to voice mail.

  By this time Lulu was fuming. She hoped to goodness he wasn’t where she thought he was. She got back in the car and headed to a parking deck so she could walk down Beale over to Hog Heaven.

  Sure enough, there was Seb. Instead of the pitiful, weak, dirty, slothful creature that she’s seen after Rebecca Adrian’s murder, she saw a spiffy, clean-shaven, nicely dressed man with his arm tight around Lurleen Ashton. He looked flustered when he caught sight of his mother.

  Lulu wasn’t sure what part of all this upset her the most. But she wasn’t a big fan of scenes and certainly didn’t want to show Lurleen how upset she was. She spun around on her heel and marched right out the door.

  Seb soon caught up with her. He looked worried, but Lulu was convinced that his anxiety was not prompted by a desire to make up with his mother. No, he was likely more concerned about keeping his job.

  Seb gave a short, nervous laugh. “What’s this all about, Mother? I didn’t realize you were so fascinated with my love life. Are you planning on chaperoning my date to the prom?”

  “If I do, I’ll be sure to give you a drug test before we leave. Because I am absolutely convinced that you’re doing drugs again.”

  “What?”

  “You clearly must be. Because I can’t see what you see in Lurleen Ashton unless your mind has been insidiously twisted by drugs. Plus, you know she’s probably just going out with you to discover our secret sauce recipe.”

  “What a horrible thing to say to your son, Mother! I’m sure she’s more interested in my other attributes.”

  Lulu didn’t want to dwell on what those might be. “I can’t imagine why you aren’t interested in nice Susan Meredith.”

  Seb groaned. “Not this again.” He put his hand out and stopped Lulu’s determined march to the parking deck. “I’m not on drugs, Mother. I’m totally clean. See, this behavior of yours is why I’m seeing Lurleen behind your back. I knew you’d flip out.”

  “You told me she was only looking for you because she was setting up your high school reunion! You said that you’d broken up with her after a couple of days. How long exactly have you been seeing her?”

  “A few months. Soon after I came back to Memphis. Like I mentioned, Mother, we went to school together. We weren’t exactly strangers.”

  “I’m starting to think,” said Lulu, “that you’re the one who is the stranger. For all we know, Lurleen Ashton poisoned Rebecca Adrian herself.”

  Seb’s face flushed with anger. “Come on, Mother. That’s completely ridiculous.”

  “What’s so ridiculous about it? Seems to me that Lurleen was determined to lure Rebecca Adrian over to Hog Heaven. She was handing her ads out in my own restaurant, for heaven’s sake. Maybe”—Lulu frantically grasped at straws—“maybe she thought Rebecca was competing for your affections. That’s what Cherry thinks, too.”

  “And jealousy is a long way from killing somebody. Besides, she would have just found out that Rebecca and I had been involved, and I had just found out that Rebecca was here in Memphis. First you thought I killed Rebecca, now you’ve moved on to Lurleen. Nice. Don’t you remember, Mother, that Lurleen was coming in after Rebecca was already on her way out? I’m not sure how she would have managed to poison her food after the fact.”

  This stopped Lulu short. It was true. But that didn’t mean she had to admit Seb was right. Maybe it was a good time to change the subject.

  “Actually, I’m sure you’re aware there’s been another murder.”

  “Yes. I think her name has been changed to ‘Poor Mildred’ by the good people at Aunt Pat’s.”

  “Now you know I’m worried about you, Seb. As a mother. I’m wondering where you were that night that she was killed.”

  “Where I was,” drawled Seb, leaning against Lulu’s Cadillac, “was the Memphis police station. Which, I’m sure you’d agree, is a pretty good alibi.”

  “The police station?”

  “Yes, Mother. I was arrested for driving drunk. Ben bailed me out. You really haven’t been plugged into the family news stream, have you? Maybe you should try Twitter.”

  Lulu felt a wave of relief. She really didn’t want to think that Seb was capable of killing Mildred. “Well, I never thought I’d get to the point where I was relieved to hear one of my children was in jail. How about your Lurleen? Where was she?”

  Seb rolled his eyes like he was a teenager again. “Okay, Mother, let’s have it your way. Let’s say Lurleen did kill Mildred. Why? Why would she do such a thing? What possible motive would she have had?”

  Lulu opened her mouth but then snapped it shut again. She honestly couldn’t think of a reason.

  “I mean, did Lurleen even know Mildred? Why would she? Mildred was a loyal customer. She never would have darkened the door of Hog Heaven. Their paths would never have crossed. And surely you’re not suggesting that Lurleen was jealous of Mildred.”

  This was true, thought Lulu. But if she followed this line of reasoning, she was completely at a loss as to who did commit these murders. She thought about Derrick, Sara, and Flo. None of them seemed likely candidates for murderers. Lulu wondered if Memphis had its very own serial killer who was just getting warmed up.

  Seb said under his breath, “The way you’re acting you’d think Lurleen and I were Romeo and Juliet.”

  “In no way do you resemble Romeo,” said Lulu sourly. “And Lurleen Ashton
certainly is no Juliet.”

  To make matters even worse, Lurleen strode up to them, smirking. Lulu felt all the muscles in her back and neck tense up.

  “So, what’s the story, Seb? I was thinking your mama was at Hog Heaven to try out some real barbeque.”

  Oh, she was so obnoxious. “That’s funny,” said Lulu with dignity, “because I was just telling Seb you were dating him to discover our secret sauce recipe.”

  Lurleen entwined her tanned arm in Seb’s and started pulling him back toward Hog Heaven. “Come on, Seb. Your mother has sour grapes because she doesn’t want her little boy dating a big, bad woman like me. Who was it again that she was trying to hook you up with?” She looked up, laughing at him through lashes heavily encrusted with mascara.

  “Susan Meredith,” said Seb with a lazy grin.

  “That hippie gallery owner? She couldn’t handle you, honey.”

  “No,” said Lulu clearly. “No, I don’t want him to hook up with Susan. He’s not good enough for her. And now, if you’ll excuse me?” Seb stepped aside, and Lulu strode off to the parking deck.

  Lulu was decompressing at home when she got a phone call that finally made her smile. Ben had posted Derrick’s bail, and he was out free.

  “I am so glad you let me know that, Ben. Is he home, then?”

  “Yes, Sara’s with him. Seems like this whole episode has really scared him straight. Although I thought he was already straightening out just fine before this happened.”

  “He certainly was!” said Lulu indignantly. “He didn’t need an experience like that to make him any straighter.”

  “At any rate, he’s out now, Mother. And Sara’s home, too. Thank God. I was starting to think this whole family was falling apart at the seams. Next it might have been Coco getting pulled in for pocketing costume jewelry at the mall. Or Ella Beth for fraud.” He gave a hearty sigh of relief as if a heavy burden had been lifted from him.

  “You know, Ben, I think I’ll drop by there a little later. I need to run by the grocery store and pick up a couple of things first, though. Can you handle the restaurant this afternoon?”