Delicious and Suspicious

by Riley Adams

  “Can’t we talk about this honey? Just for a minute?”

  Just then, a man shot out from the trees behind them. “Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!” he yelled as he tackled Lurleen and Seb at one time and whaled on them with both fists.

  Seb and Lurleen were so taken by surprise that they were easily overcome by the attack. In the scuffle, Lurleen’s gun went flying—a yard from Lulu’s feet. Lulu scooped it up and pointed it, shaking, toward the three on the ground, not sure if her savior was as bad as the rest of them. There was screaming around them in the park and the music stopped playing.

  An angel, reflected Lulu later, in the form of Big Ben had appeared suddenly on the scene. He’d decided that he was a grown man and could get his very own bottle of Domaine Vincent Dauvissat Chablis Les Preuses. He was just picking it up from the wine store off Beale when he saw Lulu holding a gun on three people. He drew in his breath, dropped the bottle to the ground, and started a stiff, arthritic run to the policeman he’d passed in the street seconds before.

  Chapter 19

  The sweet tea was very refreshing. But Lulu had the feeling she was soon going to need something completely different: and alcohol based.

  Detective Bryce had, by now, gotten every little bit of information that she knew out of her. Lulu could tell he wasn’t too pleased. He kept pressing his lips together when she mentioned piecing the clues together. Well, at least he should be happy she solved his case for him. Lulu only wished she had something to celebrate herself. Despite having grown apart from her son, Seb was still her baby. And the fact he would surely be on his way to prison felt like a knife stabbing her right in the heart. She’d already called Jed, their lawyer. She felt it was the least she could do, considering she blamed herself somehow for Seb’s fall into crime.

  She wearily said, “Are we about done, Detective Bryce? I feel really weary and still need to thank my hero, Big Ben, for calling the police. I don’t know how long I’d have been able to hold that gun on those three, and things at the park were getting crazy. They might have jumped me to take it back, or I might have accidentally fired off a shot and hurt them or an innocent bystander. Or one of the people at the blues concert might have decided that I was the dangerous one and wrestled the gun away from me while Lurleen went free.”

  Detective Bryce said gently, “I have full confidence that you would have been able to do anything necessary to get safely out of the situation. And you would have been well within your rights.”

  He stood up to leave. “You know, though, the identity of the real hero is complicated. I think most people would think it was Virgil. After all, he’s the one who knocked the gun out of Lurleen Ashton’s hands. He’s the one who stopped you from being moved from one location to another. Maybe he’s the hero.”

  Lulu looked at him with surprise. “Well, I didn’t think of that. He’s an antihero, isn’t he? It was just a series of fortunate events for me. Or maybe, it was my guardian angel looking out for me. What are the chances that Virgil would be convinced that dark-haired Lurleen Ashton was Flo in a wig? What are the chances that he’d even be passing the park at that time?”

  “I believe he knew that you and Flo spent time together, so maybe when Virgil saw you, he decided you must be with Flo. And Lurleen’s hair is so black it’s almost unnatural. Plus, her sunglasses apparently matched Flo’s, too.”

  “And,” mulled Lulu, “when he saw Flo in the presence of a nice-looking man who was putting his arm around her, he went absolutely wild. Thank goodness.”

  There was a soft rap on the office door, and Detective Bryce left through the door past Big Ben, who smiled in at Lulu. “Are you okay?” he asked (softly, since he’d turned up his hearing aid).

  “Thanks to you I am,” said Lulu, giving him a big hug. “I simply can’t thank you enough. You sure were at the right place at the right time.”

  “You were already taking care of yourself pretty well when I got there,” said Big Ben, as he took a seat in the office. “You looked like Annie Oakley standing there.”

  “Yes, but if they’d jumped on me to take the gun away, I wouldn’t have shot them,” said Lulu. “It’s just not something I could have done. So grabbing that policeman made all the difference in the world.”

  There was a deep, harrumphing cough behind them, and they turned to see Buddy and Morty at the office door. “Mind if we come in?” asked Buddy.

  “We were so glad to hear you were okay,” said Morty, giving Lulu a tight hug.

  “When we heard the story from Big Ben, we couldn’t believe it,” said Buddy. “And we are so sorry about Seb. We know you’ve got to be sick over it, Lulu.”

  Lulu sighed. “I really am. But I’m coming around to the way of thinking that Seb was an adult who made his own choices, bad and good. He clearly is in no shape to be out in society right now. I’d like to think that deep down, Seb is a good man who made some awful decisions because of drugs. Maybe this will be a wake-up call for him. Or maybe he can get the help he really needs there.”

  Buddy lifted up an arm to show he carried a canvas tote bag. He said hesitantly, “I thought it might be best, Lulu, if we could somehow focus on some of the good things about today. I knew what a blow Seb’s arrest is for you. So I started thinking about some of the good things that happened today.”

  Lulu smiled. “I’m liking the way you think, Buddy. I’ll start and make mine about Seb. He’s still young enough to turn his life around. And Jed says the charges won’t be as severe as Lurleen’s, since he was an accessory after the fact, or something.”

  Morty said, “And that wicked Virgil is off the streets and won’t be bothering Flo anymore. They’ve locked him up good.”

  Lulu brightened. “That’s true. And Detective Bryce said that he was wanted in Mississippi for a whole slew of things. It sounds like he’s going to be in the slammer for quite a while.”

  Big Ben chimed in. “And everybody can breathe easier now that they’re not under suspicion of murder anymore.”

  “And the murders have been avenged,” said Lulu. “And”—she got up to hug Big Ben again—“my dear friend, with his quick thinking, averted a major crisis at the park, possibly saving my life or others’ lives.”

  Buddy put a tote bag on the desk. He said, “Keeping these good things in mind, and, considering the need for a little something alcoholic under such circumstances, I hope my friends will join me in a drink.”

  Big Ben said in a breathless voice, “Is that what I think it is?”

  “If you’re thinking it’s the Domaine Vincent Dauvissat Chablis Les Preuses, then you’re right. Because,” added Buddy, “it’s not every day that I get to celebrate one friend saving the life of another.”

  He reached into the tote bag again and pulled out another bottle of the same label. “This one is for you, Big Ben. Your allowing that bottle of wine to bust on the asphalt to run to take care of Lulu kind of put it all into perspective for me.”

  Buddy uncorked one of the bottles and poured them all a glass. Lulu closed her eyes a moment as the soothing warmth of the delicious beverage coursed through her. Then she said, “Know what would make this moment even better? A big plate of lip-smacking barbeque.”

  Recipes

  Put Some South in Your Mouth

  Lulu’s Famous Red Beans and Rice

  This red beans and rice recipe is an homage to the dish I tasted in Memphis—the Louisiana-style Creole version is very different and would omit the tomatoes.

  3 15- or 16-ounce cans kidney beans, drained and

  rinsed

  2 14½-ounce cans low-salt chicken broth

  1 14½-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice

  1 pound smoked beef sausage, fully cooked and diced

  2 cups sliced mushrooms

  1½ cups white and wild rice blend (not the quick-

  cooking kind)

  1 cup chopped onion

  1 cup chopped green bell pepper

  ½ cup sliced jalapenos from jar, drained and chop
ped

  ¼ cup steak sauce

  2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

  3 garlic cloves, chopped

  Dash of Tabasco

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Mix all ingredients in heavy large pot. Bring to simmer over high heat.

  Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until rice is tender, stirring occasionally, about 35 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

  Tommie’s Southern Potato Salad

  3 pounds red potatoes

  4 hard-boiled eggs, finely chopped

  ½ cup mayonnaise

  ¾ cup sour cream

  2 tablespoons chopped onion

  2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

  1 tablespoon prepared mustard

  1 teaspoon salt

  ½ teaspoon pepper

  ½ pound bacon, cooked and crumbled

  Boil potatoes until soft. Cut into cubes.

  Sir potatoes and eggs together.

  Stir all other ingredients together if serving immediately. If chilling before serving, sprinkle bacon on last.

  Tommie’s Breakfast Casserole

  1 16-ounce package of hash browns (thawed if they are

  frozen)

  8 eggs

  2 cups milk

  3 cups shredded cheddar cheese

  ¼ cup diced onion

  1 pound bacon, cooked and crumbled

  ¼ cup diced green bell pepper

  Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray a 7-x-11-inch casserole dish.

  Line the bottom of the dish with the hash browns and bake them for 15 minutes until the edges brown slightly.

  While the hash browns are cooking, beat the eggs and milk together in a big bowl. Mix in your cheese, onion, cooked bacon, and green pepper. Pour the egg mixture on top of the cooked hash browns.

  Reduce oven heat to 350 degrees. Bake uncovered for 35 minutes, then cover with foil and cook another 10 minutes.

  If you refrigerate the mixture first, your cooking time will be significantly increased.

  Pulled Pork Barbeque and Sauce

  DRY RUB FOR THE PORK:

  3 tablespoons paprika

  1 tablespoon garlic powder

  1 tablespoon brown sugar

  1 tablespoon dry mustard

  1 tablespoon salt

  1 (5- to 7-pound) pork roast, preferably shoulder or

  Boston butt

  Mix all the ingredients (except the pork) in a bowl and rub the mixture on the pork. Refrigerate for an hour or overnight.

  Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. Roast the pork in a roasting pan for 6 hours (until it’s 170 degrees Fahrenheit), or until it falls apart.

  When the pork is cooked, remove it from the oven and let it cool for 10 minutes. While it’s still warm, pull the pork with a fork. Serve on hamburger buns with sauce.

  AND NOW FOR THE SAUCE:

  2 cups ketchup

  2 cups tomato sauce

  1¼ cups brown sugar

  1¼ cups red wine vinegar

  ½ cup unsulfured molasses

  4 teaspoons hickory-flavored liquid smoke

  2 tablespoons garlic powder

  ½ teaspoon butter

  ½ teaspoon chili powder

  ¼ teaspoon onion powder

  1 teaspoon paprika

  ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon

  ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper

  1 teaspoon salt

  1 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper

  Over medium heat, mix the ingredients in a large saucepan until it bubbles.

  Reduce heat to low and simmer for up to 20 minutes.

  Aunt Pat’s Spicy Corn Muffins

  2 eggs

  ⅓ cup shortening, melted

  1 cup self-rising cornmeal

  1 cup sour cream (not low fat)

  1 8-ounce can creamed corn

  ¾ cup picante sauce

  1 tablespoon finely chopped jalapeno

  1 cup grated extra-sharp cheddar

  Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

  Grease a 12-cup muffin pan.

  Beat the eggs into the melted shortening (after it has cooled somewhat)

  Stir cornmeal into egg-shortening mixture. Add sour cream, creamed corn, picante sauce, and jalapeno. Beat well.

  Spoon half the batter into muffin cups. Sprinkle with cheese. Cover with remaining batter.

  Bake for 30 minutes or until done.

  Buddy’s Country-Fried Steaks

  1 cup flour

  1 teaspoon salt

  1 teaspoon pepper

  ½ teaspoon garlic powder

  1 package of cube steaks

  Cooking oil

  1 diced onion

  1 cup water

  Mix together dry ingredients and put them in a plastic zip bag. Put cube steaks in the bag and shake until they are well covered.

  Heat oil in a heavy pan until hot (about 2 minutes). Add the cubed steak and fry over medium-high heat for half a minute, then flip to cook for another half minute. Continue cooking and flipping frequently until the meat is brown and the inside isn’t pink (about 4 minutes.)

  Remove steak from heat and drain on paper towels. Leave 3 teaspoons of grease in the pan, then add onions and 5 tablespoons of the leftover flour mixture from the plastic zip bag. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly as the flour browns and the onions cook.

  Add one cup of cool water, whisking gravy until all the lumps are gone. Add more water if you want a thinner consistency.

  Add the steaks to soak in the gravy, simmering for 10 minutes.

  Lulu’s Early Morning Gingerbread Treat

  ½ cup granulated sugar

  ¼ cup softened butter

  ½ cup orange juice

  ⅓ cup molasses

  1 egg and 1 egg white

  1½ cups all-purpose flour

  2 teaspoons ground ginger

  ½ teaspoon baking powder

  ½ teaspoon baking soda

  ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  ¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg

  1 teaspoon powdered sugar

  Beat sugar and butter at medium speed until well blended. Add juice, molasses, and eggs. Beat well and set aside. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cup. Level with knife. Combine flour, ginger, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, and nutmeg in a small bowl. Gradually add flour mixture to molasses mixture, stirring until well blended. Pour batter into an 8-inch square pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool gingerbread in pan on a wire rack. Sift powdered sugar over cooled gingerbread.