Married...Again

by Stephanie Doyle

  “I could never...” Could she? Resent always trying to make Mike happy.

  He rose from the table and took his cup to the sink. “I need to head into town for some supplies. You need anything?”

  “I guess a spine.”

  He huffed out a laugh. “No, I’m pretty sure you’ve got one of those. But I sure would like to see you use it now and again.”

  She sat there and sipped her coffee and thought about what he said.

  What did she want?

  Mike. That was an easy answer. To be married to him. Another easy answer. To have the kind of love that lasted like Eleanor and Max’s. To make her mother happy, because that wasn’t wrong to want to do that.

  To make herself happy. Because that wasn’t wrong to want to do that, either.

  “I know what I don’t want and that’s some stupid, big wedding,” she muttered to the empty room. “If I could just find a way to have it be me and Mike and make Mom happy.”

  Unfortunately the magic answer didn’t immediately come.

  * * *

  ELEANOR STARED AT the phone. It was Saturday, and Max had gone out to run some errands. Most Saturdays Eleanor would spend at the office, but after being thoroughly made love to this morning, followed by a shower in which Max made it his personal responsibility to wash every inch of her, she just had no motivation to work. And every motivation to sit on her couch with her feet up.

  The only task she’d assigned herself was calling her mother. It was a tough call to make. On the one hand, Allie was probably right and her mother might be thrilled. On the other hand, Eleanor knew her mother was not Max’s biggest fan.

  Eleanor found her mother’s number in her favorites list and hit the button. A few seconds later, her mother picked up.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Eleanor shook her head. “Why do you assume I only ever call you when something is wrong?”

  There was a pause. “Because you call me once a week on Sunday. If you’re calling me on a Saturday, something is wrong.”

  “Nothing is wrong. Exactly. I just have news.”

  “Yes?”

  Eleanor could practically see her mother’s raised eyebrow. There was no help for it. It was like ripping off a bandage.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Another pause, only this time longer.

  “Mom, did you hear me?”

  “Of course I heard you!” her mother screeched. “I’m assuming Max is the father.”

  “The trip to the cabin,” Eleanor said weakly.

  “What about the divorce? Is there a way to stop it? Will you have to be remarried?”

  “I haven’t really thought about that...”

  “How could you not think of it? He’s the father of your child. You need to be married to him.”

  Eleanor thought about explaining to her mother that it was the twenty-first century and it was not considered that unusual anymore for a woman to have a baby on her own. She didn’t say that, of course, mostly because it would upset her, and the truth was, she wanted to be married to Max.

  Or stay married to Max.

  Or get married to Max.

  It was confusing as hell, but the net result of that was she was willing to admit to herself that she wanted Max.

  “We’ll work it out,” Eleanor finally said.

  “And what happens when he leaves again? What then?”

  Eleanor felt the sinking pit in her stomach. That fear that her mother was right and Max wasn’t capable of changing who he was. Of needing to continue his research and the impact of climate change so that, ultimately, he might save the world.

  Then she remembered what he’d said to her last night. Holding her and their baby.

  “He’s not going to leave again,” Eleanor said softly as if she was trying the words out and seeing how they sounded. She wasn’t exactly sure if she believed them.

  “You have no idea if that’s true or not.”

  “No, Mom. I think I do know. I don’t think he’s going to leave me again.”

  “So you two are together now?”

  Were they? She knew Max was all in. He’d pretty much proclaimed that from the start. She, however, felt as if she was keeping one foot outside the door. Ready to run at the first sign of emotional pain.

  That wasn’t going to work long-term. No relationship could stand that kind of ambiguity. Beyond that, Max deserved better. He deserved someone who was willing to commit to him fully.

  “It’s complicated,” Eleanor said, even though that sounded lame to her ears.

  “Huh. Complicated. You know what’s not complicated...a baby. How are you planning to raise this child?”

  Eleanor didn’t want to think about that because it meant thinking about the future. And right now, the future was too scary.

  “We’re working that out, too.”

  “Hmm. And what about that company of yours?”

  Eleanor cringed. Her mother referred to her company as if it was an ex-convict boyfriend. “What about it?”

  “Well, you’re not going to be able to dedicate as much time as you have to it and raise a baby. It’s simply not possible.”

  “No, not without help, of course.”

  “Babies need their mothers.”

  “And their fathers. Stop being so old school, Mom.”

  “I’m old school, because I’m old. Well, there is only one answer. If you’re going to insist on raising this child on your own and still run your company, I’ll have to come live with you.”

  And Eleanor thought that was as good a reason as any to tell Max she was all in. She smiled. “Mom, we’re not there yet. I told you. Max and I are working it out.”

  “Well, work it out faster. I’m not letting my first grandchild be raised by some strange nanny you hire just so you can keep your company. My first grandchild...”

  Her mother broke off for a moment. Eleanor held the phone closer to her ear. Was that...? Was it possible? Was her mother crying?

  “Mom, are you crying?”

  “Tears of joy. I’m going to be a grandmother finally. I think I’m allowed.”

  Eleanor smiled. Allie was right. It did feel good to be the one making her mother happy for once.

  “Of course this means we’re going to have to rethink your maid-of-honor dress. My goodness, you’ll be almost ready to pop on the day of the wedding. Do you know how hard it is going to be to find something chic and elegant in a maternity gown?”

  “Sorry, Mom, but I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”

  “You’ll let me pick out the dress?”

  Eleanor smiled. Who knew it really wasn’t all that difficult to make her mother happy. “I get final approval.”

  “It’s a deal. And, Eleanor...I want you to know I am happy. I want this thing between you and Max to work. I do. I just...”

  She had trust issues. It happened to a woman when she was burned in a marriage.

  “I know, Mom. You’ll see. I think it will all work out. Goodbye.”

  “Goodbye.”

  Eleanor ended the call and thought about what it would mean for it to all work out and knew that the answer was with her.

  But that, she decided, was a problem for another day.

  Chapter Nineteen

  MAX KNOCKED LIGHTLY on the outside of the office door. Selena and Nor were huddled over some spreadsheets, and both popped their heads up. He held up the bag of to-go food, and Nor waved him inside.

  “You are a lifesaver,” Selena said, rushing toward him to take the bag.

  It was after nine at night. Max had texted Eleanor for an update on when she would be home and she’d texted back TROUBLE.

  He figured that meant food, so he brought the food to them.

  “Y
ou both must be starving.”

  “Not me,” Nor said. “I’ve been nibbling on saltines all day. This kid has decided it doesn’t like real food.”

  Selena lifted a burger and a sleeve of fries out of the bag, and Max watched Nor’s face go sheet white.

  She covered her mouth and practically ran from the office.

  “And she’s off!” Selena said. “Don’t worry. She does that about three times a day, and she always comes back feeling better. She’ll be able to eat something then, too.”

  Max let out a sigh of relief. He hated seeing her sick, but at the same time, he’d read that morning sickness was a good sign for the pregnancy.

  They were just about at the sixteen-week mark, and for the first time, he could see Nor’s stomach starting to round out. It was becoming more real every day. So was their marriage.

  After Allie left, Max didn’t bother moving his stuff back into the guest room. That first night, he’d just told Nor he was going to bed and climbed into her bed. She’d said nothing, and when she got in and he spooned himself around her, she’d relaxed against him.

  From that point on, they had slept together every night. And the sex, it was like they didn’t talk about what it meant. Like he was simply servicing his wife’s hormonal needs. Something he was happy to do. Much like rubbing her feet.

  Except he knew it went way deeper than that. They were bonding again, connecting down to their toes. Nor just wasn’t ready to talk about that yet.

  “She said there was trouble.”

  “We have a cash-flow problem. One of our servers went down unexpectedly last week, which stopped orders for two days, which means our sales weren’t as projected. Now we have to pay our contractors and—”

  “You don’t have any money,” Max said, figuring out the situation quickly.

  “Don’t say that!” Nor scolded him as she came into the office. Her color had returned, and he could smell the hint of mint toothpaste. “At least not out loud.”

  Selena rolled her eyes. “With pregnancy has come paranoia. She’s convinced that Daniel has planted bugs in the office.”

  “I didn’t say that. Just that we have to be careful. This is exactly the kind of trip-up he’s waiting for. If we can’t pay the contractors and we lose those contracts, then we’re done. I’ll have no option but to take his offer.”

  “I have money,” Max announced.

  “We’ll take it,” Selena said clapping.

  “Selena! Max, I’m not taking your money.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because this is my problem, and I’ll solve it.”

  Max rocked back on his heels. “Selena...could you give us a minute?”

  Selena looked to him, then at Eleanor. “Sure.”

  She took her burger and her phone and shut the office door behind her.

  “Max, I don’t really have time to argue over this.”

  “Tough.”

  Her eyebrows went up, but he wasn’t backing down. “I want to know why you won’t take my money. I haven’t even told you how much of it there is.”

  “I told you...”

  “That it’s your problem. Yeah, I got that. When is it going to be our problem? We’ve been living together for weeks. Sleeping together for weeks. Having sex for weeks. Are we in a marriage or are we not?” Max snapped.

  “I...we... I mean, it’s been good... I know that.”

  He could see he was upsetting her, but, damn it, he was angry. “Because I don’t know what to do anymore, Nor. I don’t know how to prove, once and for all, that I’m in this marriage for real. Every day is like this exquisite torture wondering if today is the day I’ll know. I’ll know for sure that you see a future with me.”

  “You think taking your money means I’m ready to commit to you?”

  “No, taking my money would tell me you already had committed. Which obviously, you haven’t. I’ll leave you to your problem, but can you try not to work too much later? You are pregnant. You need some damn sleep.”

  Max didn’t wait for a response. He left the office and kept moving until he reached his car. He stopped and took a breath. Fighting with his pregnant sort of wife was probably not the solution to the problem.

  And worse was the fact that she was in actual trouble and wasn’t letting him help. There had to be a way. Then he realized there was.

  He pulled out his phone and searched through his list of contacts. He’d added Selena to his list weeks ago. It made him feel better knowing she could reach out to him at any time if Nor had had problems with the baby.

  Mostly Selena only texted him when she was dead on her feet tired and she wanted him to prod Nor into calling it a night.

  It had actually worked a few times.

  He hit her number and waited until she picked up. She was obviously still chewing a rather large bite of her hamburger.

  “’Sup?”

  “You guys need money. I have it. A lot of it. Money that Nor doesn’t even know about. How do we find a way to get that to you?”

  “Are you saying you want me to sneak behind my boss’s back and arrange for a financial loan?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying. With the guarantee that if she’s going to be furious with anyone, it’s going to be me.”

  “Okay, I’m in. And, Max...for the record, I know it seems like she’s holding back. I get why that would be frustrating, too. But...”

  “But?”

  “I didn’t know her before you...went missing. I’ve only known her since. And the Eleanor I know is smart and strong and decisive...and sad. Or at least she was until several weeks ago. She’s different now. I can see it. Weary, but...hopeful. I guess I’m saying, don’t give up on her.”

  Suddenly all his anger was so much smoke. Now he had someone to confirm he was making Nor happy again. It felt amazing. “I won’t.”

  “Good. Call me tomorrow and we’ll talk about options.”

  “Thanks, Selena.”

  Max disconnected the call with a scowl. At least now he had a plan. He just had to convince Nor it was a good one.

  * * *

  ELEANOR TRIED TO pull her pants together and failed. It simply was not going to happen. Her days of wearing her normal business suits were over. Which sucked on a day when she wanted to look her most formidable.

  Instead, she was going to have to go with leggings, boots and a tunic top. It wasn’t as if she was concerned about Daniel knowing she was pregnant anymore. The reality was in less than five months or so there was going to be a baby. It was thoughts of that baby and what her mother had said that made her pick up the phone and schedule this meeting.

  She’d thought about it all. The baby, Max, what Daniel intended for Head to Toe. Maybe Daniel had been right and she just wasn’t capable of playing in the big leagues. And if she wasn’t able to do it now, what made her think she could do all that and be a mother?

  And a wife.

  Because when it came down to it, that’s what she wanted to be. She wanted to be Max’s wife. Not his half-wife, or his sort-of wife, which, he liked to joke about, but his wife, wife.

  Which meant committing to their relationship and him. Which meant spending time together as a family.

  Turning over half her company to Daniel meant turning over half the responsibility of running it, too. So maybe this was the best solution for everyone. Tell Daniel she was willing to take his money, let him worry about taking the company big league and focus on working on her marriage and being a new mom.

  It was a solid plan. She knew that. She just wished it felt better. More like winning and less like losing.

  Dressed, she made her way downstairs. Max was at the kitchen counter having a cup of coffee. He was also dressed for class, and it occurred to her how little they talked about his teaching.

  Of course not, stu
pid. You’re afraid to ask him about it and find out that he doesn’t like it.

  Which was really kind of horrible on her part and all indicative of the trust issues she still needed to work out with him.

  She thought about the meeting she was headed to and realized she probably should have informed him of her decision. It was something he would want her to do, to share what was happening with her company, because it was a part of their life.

  In the end, though, she felt like this needed to be her call alone. She’d built Head to Toe from the ground up. She’d done it first to prove to Max she was capable of being more than just his wife. Then she’d stayed at it because there was nothing else for her.

  Now if she was going to end this journey, or maybe not end it, but hand part of it over, then that had to be her call, too.

  “’Morning,” Max said with a weary smile.

  “My pants don’t fit,” Eleanor announced.

  That made him smile even more.

  “Oh, sure, you think it’s a cute baby thing, but I’m down to leggings and tunic tops.”

  “Guess we’re going to need to go shopping. I hear they make these things called maternity clothes.”

  Eleanor frowned, thinking about jeans that stretched. Then she remembered she’d given her mother carte blanche on the dress she would wear to Allie’s wedding. A wedding that, as far as Eleanor knew, was still on, which meant Allie must be working things out with the Mike.

  Not that Eleanor had any doubt. Mike and Allie loved each other, and as long as that was the case, the rest didn’t matter.

  Then it occurred to her how true that was.

  “Max?”

  He was pouring her orange juice and setting out her prenatal vitamins. That’s what he did for her every morning, because if he didn’t, she usually forgot. Because Max was thoughtful and caring and supportive and amazing.

  And he told her he wasn’t going to leave.