Tarnished

by Erica Chilson

  “Ohhh…” Willa moans, counterthrusting with her thumb. I pull away quickly, getting too into our sex-ed session.

  “Okay, so Donny comes to me pretty much prepped and ready to go. I’m sure he jerks his willy before he crawls in my bed and spoons my back. So what do I do? There’s no way I can match him if he’s done in less than two minutes.”

  I shut my mind off, pretending we’re not talking about my brother, trying to remember this is his wife sitting in my lap and I shouldn’t be jealous and coveting her. “Well, you gotta do what he’s doing.” Even drunk, I can hear the duh in my voice. “Get yourself off before he gets in bed with ya.”

  “How?”

  “What?” I sputter, exasperated. “Touch yourself.”

  “I don’t know how!” Willa’s shout warps into a pout. “I had to share a bedroom with my baby brother. And it’s not like anyone was around worth getting off on. Until you showed up, I ain’t really wanted anyone.”

  “You want me?” I blurt out and wish I could take it back.

  “My panties are wet.” She leans back against the table to show me, but I squeeze my eyes shut. “I ain’t that stupid. I know what that means. Momma was telling me a bit about that too. How I ain’t wet for Donny, so that ain’t helping the baby-making business.”

  “What do you want me to do?” grits through my clenched teeth.

  “Show me,” Willa demands.

  “There ain’t enough beer in the world–” Tiny, strong fingers wrap around my wrist and yank. “Oh, fuck me. I’m going to jail. You’re underage. Hell, I mean. Being my brother’s wife cancels out the jail term but sentences me to eternal damnation.”

  Not giving a damn for my drunk ramblings. “I’m wet. For you.” Willa puts my hand on the seat of her panties. Soaked. She’s soaked. I did that to her. Me. Her brother-in-law. Going to Hell, I am. “Yer so goddamned hard I can feel your heart beating in your dick.” The little minx grinds her tight ass against me so hard I nearly pop my cork. “Show me.”

  “Fine,” snarls past my lips. “Take me somewhere my brother will never go, and I’ll show you. Since you said he always does it the same way, I’ll be Donny. But I’m only showing you how to do it. Got it?”

  “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!”

  “A lifesaver? You make this sound like I’m doing you a favor… we’re about to commit borderline adultery, and my brother will never forgive me.”

  “Knowing your spineless coward of a brother like I do, I’d say there is a good chance you could fuck me in front of him and he’d thank you,” Willa says dryly as she climbs off my lap.

  “That ain’t happening, little girl,” I warn as I get to my feet, only to sway side-to-side.

  “Not tonight, no.” Willa wraps her arm around my waist, supporting me as she walks me to the couch.

  “My brother sits on this couch,” I remind her.

  “No, he doesn’t. Sean does.” Willa flashes me the evilest smirk I’ve ever encountered. “Seems fitting, doesn’t it?”

  “You are a depraved, little creature, aren’t you?” I don’t put up any sort of challenge. I drop to the couch when she shoves me.

  Looking me dead in the eyes, Willa turns serious. “I’m only depraved with you.”

  I’m about to say, “I highly doubt that,” but then I realize it’s the truth. I’m different with Willa, and I bet she’s different with me.

  Body lax and rubbery, I allow Willa to tug on my hands and feet, moving me where she wants me. Until I’m on my side like we’re getting ready to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.

  “What was this business about a dog?” Words slurring, my mind blanks for a moment. Willa just stares down at me, smirking like she knows what I want to say but she’s waiting for me to finish. “Oh, yeah… this ain’t how we do doggie-style from where I come from.”

  “I’m well aware.” Willa rolls her eyes. “I lost my virginity bent over my footboard. But Donny felt bad about that, like it was dirty somehow. So he picked an even more boring way.”

  “How?” An arched brow betrays my interest. “Show me.”

  Willa crawls onto the couch, wiggling her ass in front of me. My arm automatically curls around her belly, tugging her closer so she doesn’t fall off the cushion. Nose nuzzling the top of her hair, a sigh of contentment flows from me.

  “This is nice. If only we had SportsCenter on, I could go nighty-night like this.” My body ruts around, getting more comfortable. “Good night, Willamina.”

  “Hey!” Willa swats my hand. “You’ve got something to show me, remember?”

  Propping my head up on my elbow, I look down at the side of her face. “You have sex like this?” My voice is drier than a popcorn fart. “My brother spoon-fucks you? Is this even a sex position?”

  “I regret saying how I wasn’t a dog,” Willa grumbles. “I’d take dog over this anytime.”

  “Great position for snuggling and sleeping.” I drop back down into position, trying to figure out how one thrusts while lying on their side. “Fucking? Not so much.”

  “I told you Donny’s locked and loaded before he comes to me. When he’s done, he stays where he is and goes to sleep.”

  “My left hand fucks me better than Donny does you,” I whisper into Willa’s ear, and a miracle happens. She goes completely lax and releases the dirtiest moan I’ve ever heard. I press my lips to her ear and she groans for me. “Are you wet for me, Willa,” I flutter against her ear. “Do you want me to show you what to do with your sweet honey?”

  “Yes,” comes in a breathy moan. “Please,” she begs, and I really, really like the sounds of that.

  “Don’t judge me if I spontaneously erupt in my pants.” In my drunken haze, not only do I experience a total lack of inhibitions, I experience verbal diarrhea too. “It’s been years since a woman has come apart in my arms, and I’m not going to be able to handle it. But I’ll try to behave myself.”

  Arching her back, rubbing her tight ass against my stiffy, Willa moans like she’s already coming. “Don’t.” Shimmy of her hips. “Bother.” My hands grip her hips to stop her, but end up controlling the rock of her ass against me. “Misbehave with me,” she pleads, and I lose my shit.

  Gripping Willa’s hips hard enough to leave fingertip bruises, I shift her around until my bulge is cradled in the curve of her ass. “This is how you fuck in this position.” My hand slides up her inner thigh, raising her dress as I go. A hiss is torn from both our throats at the feel of my bare skin touching hers. Fingertips dimpling in, I grip her thigh to prop it over my hip. Then I dip my hips, getting right up in her, grinding my cock against the saturated seat of her panties.

  “This is how sex should be.” I pant, thrusting and rolling my hips against hers. “Arch your back more, tilt your hips, spread your thighs farther apart, and grind into me like you’re desperate for a baby in your belly.”

  Voice forced from a craned neck, “Royce!” Willa shouts, so fucking close to coming that I can scent it in the air. This girl’s got a hair-trigger. I bet I could force five or six orgasms out of her if she was mine.

  Snapping, I doubt I could even stop if Donny was standing over the sofa threatening to kill us. “I’m gonna make you feel like a woman, little girl.”

  My hands seek Willa’s, palms resting over the backs of her hands. Fingers woven together, I direct her how to touch herself. Starting at her neck, I force her to arch so I have better access to her ear. I suck on her lobe while our hands explore. Willa’s keening by the time I reach her breasts, so tiny they fit into her palms. I run our fingertips over and over her nipples until she’s writhing so hard we almost fall off the cushions.

  “Imagine my cock is buried inside you as deep as it will go,” I breathe into Willa’s ear, driving her wild. Bucking her hips into me, I almost blow the top off my cock. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, you dirty girly?”

  “Y–e–s…” rolls out her throat, vibrating against my lips. Clenching my hands, I clench hers around he
r small tits, gripping tight enough to hurt but she thrives on it.

  Hands roving down her belly, we dip beneath her dress. Together, our fingertips slip beneath the waistband of her panties, going lower and lower until springy curls tickle our skin and moist heat beckons us forward.

  “Christ.” A shudder rolls up my spine at the first touch– scorching hot and smooth, Willa’s so damn wet her cream is dripping off our fingertips. “This is why you wanna be wet.” Without thinking through the ramifications of my actions, we slide silky smooth down her slit, and then press our fingers inside her narrow pussy.

  “Deep?” We press in to the first knuckle. “Deeper?” We press in to the second knuckle. “Deeper?” We press in until we bottom out. “Promise land?” We curl our fingers forward, and then pull down sharply, fingertips hooking on her g-spot.

  With a low grunt, Willa jackknifes in my arms, quivering and shuddering, spasms rolling through every muscle in her body. I slip our fingers free from her body, moving upward. “Willamina,” I purr into her ear, lips wrapping around the lobe. “Meet your clit– the instant orgasm spot.”

  We roll our fingertips across the swollen bud, all that dampness paving our way, and Willa screams my name so loud she wakes the dead. Laughing, I can’t believe I’m doing this. So depraved. So wrong. But it feels so fucking good.

  Seductive mews still bubbling from her lips, Willa wrecks me. Her fingers slip free of mine and take me with her. Moving so fast I can’t react, Willa’s hand is shoved down my pants, gripping my dick, and she’s jerking me off in an instant.

  “That’s crossing too many lines,” I shout at the ceiling, jets of cum shooting all over the inside of my pants. “Don’t fucking stop!”

  Flipping around, hand still working me until I’m flaccid, Willa curls around me, and then she kisses me. All I can do is ride out my orgasm in her hand while she licks and nips at my lips.

  “I’ve never touched a willy before– hard or soft,” Willa reminds me, fingertips still playing along my softening flesh. “I’ve never kissed no one before neither.”

  “Oh, Willamina.” My lips seek hers, kissing her softly the way a first kiss should be. “We shouldn’t–”

  “No–” she stops me. “Ask yourself this, Royce. Do you really think any of the three of us wanted Donny to be my first anything? Donny?”

  “Willa.” I’m going to hell and loving every second of it. “No, you should get to choose, husband or not. But don’t make me betray my brother like that. My soul won’t be able to take it.”

  “When Donny gets home, take one look at him and ask yourself whether or not he just got good and fucked. Ask yourself if a husband lets another man tell him to beat his wife, then does it. Then leaves his brother to pick up the pieces. Donny didn’t even see if I was okay before he ran off groveling after the same man who has beat us twice before. Who exactly is betraying who?”

  “Shh…” I hit Willa’s off switch by breathing into her ear, and she falls silent. “I get it. I do. But I can’t let Donny’s actions change mine. I can’t fuck around with my sister-in-law. No matter how alive she makes me feel, okay?”

  “Okay,” Willa agrees, finally getting it. “Thank you,” she whispers shyly. “Thank you for teaching me how good sex can be, how I can pleasure myself. I’ll try to use that with Donny, but I know it won’t be the same.”

  “It won’t be the same,” I mutter through a vicious stab of possessive jealousy. “I hope it won’t be the same,” I whisper for only my ears to hear. “Do you need anything? How’s your cheek and lip?”

  “It was just a slap.” I can hear the eye roll in Willa’s voice. “My momma hits harder than Donny. Now, Sean, he hits harder than a hammer.”

  “Keep that baseball bat with you at all times,” I order her. “And never let anyone know where your hiding space is. Ever… I’ll get my brother to tell me what’s going down with Sean. Somehow.”

  “Good luck,” Willa mutters, not believing me. “I need something from you, and you can say no if you want.”

  “Anything.” Part guilt. Part regret. Part need to be Willa’s hero. I’d agree to anything she wanted.

  “My baby brother, Wynn, he’s a real sweet boy. He’s gonna be a big‘un, but not mean. He’s not like the rest of us Gillettes. He’s smart, kind– helpful. A hard-worker. He could have a future if only someone would show him the way.”

  “Done,” I promise, and I promise myself never to break a promise to Willa.

  Present

  Willa leans forward, pressing her lips to mine. “Thank you, Royce. Thank you for remembering with me. Since the moment I met you, you looked at me like I was worth something, even when I didn’t believe it myself. You didn’t tell me I was too stupid; you bought me textbooks. You thought I was beautiful, desirable, smart, and worthy, and you made me believe it too.”

  My fingertips curl in the back of Willa’s hair, wrapping around tightly. I give a tug, drawing her face away from mine. In the waning firelight, I really, really look at her. “Walking down memory lane is helping me rediscover who we both were, who we are, and why I fell in love with you in the first place.”

  “Me too,” Willa releases with a smile. “Did Donny ever tell you why? Tell you about Sean?”

  “No, there was nothing I could do to get him to spill. The guiltier I felt over touching you, the more at ease Donny became. I tried for four years to get rid of Sean… obviously that didn’t work out too well.”

  “You should ask Donny again,” Willa suggests, but I can see a silent horror moving beneath her eyes.

  “You know, don’t you?” I don’t press; it’s just a statement of fact. “You know all the whys to all the questions, and you’re walking me through it, hoping I’ll finally see it along the way?”

  Willa just shakes her head yes, unable to speak.

  Hands sliding down her back, I pull her forward into my arms. “You’re the smartest, most loyal person I know. It’s taken me a long time to realize just because something is moral doesn’t make it right.”

  Willa and I have our own sleepover in the backyard next to the fire pit, just as innocent as the one Hayley and Hayden are having, and it’s one of the most fulfilling nights of my life.

  •August•

  Trust

  “Okay, so now that that is settled…” Amery Smythe, Donny’s and my attorney, moves all of the Community Growth: Life Skills Center’s paperwork off the conference table. He grabs a box from the floor and places it on the table next to him. “Time to move on to the Trusts.”

  “I thought?” Wynn looks at me, confused all of the sudden. “I thought we were meeting with the lawyer to get everything for the non-profit ironed out. And I’ve just sat here for three hours since I have nothing to do with that. Bren too.”

  “I’m finally eighteen!” Bren makes a squee sound while rubbing his palms together in anticipation. “I get to sit at the adults’ table.”

  “I meet with Amery twice a week, but once a year everyone has to go over the Trusts.” I reach forward, grabbing files out of the box. I can feel confusion and frustration wafting from Wynn, but I ignore him as I put the files in order.

  Willa’s arm hooks the folders, drawing them in front of her. Having been through this with me a couple times a week for the past year, she takes over. “Talk to Wynn. Explain.”

  “I’m the trustee of six Trusts because their beneficiaries are not of age or otherwise incapacitated.” I grab the main files, and spread them out across the table. “When Daddy and Annie passed, several Trusts were created from the large settlements, paying the beneficiaries for the loss of life.”

  Amery takes over from there. “With Donald Kennedy Sr. being the patriarch of two grown sons, the settlement was broken into three Trusts. A quarter each going to each Donald Jr. and Royce, and fifty percent to any grandchildren born of Donald Sr. At the time, all fifty percent belonged to Bren, with Royce as the trustee.”

  “So Bren has more money than Royce?” Wynn
’s head flips around like the demonic little girl in the Exorcist. I swallow back a laugh, noticing Kade ‘coughing’ into the crook of his arm.

  With a shrug, Bren mutters, “Had. The grandkids split the pot. Hayley and Hayden came along, and now I only have sixteen percent.” Smirking, he points at Willa. “Keep them legs shut, Momma. Or at least wait until I’m twenty-five, so your little brood can share what’s left after I take my third of our pot.”

  “You’ve got plenty,” Willa volleys back, playing with Bren. She rolls her eyes so far in the back of her head I fear I’ll never see the blue of her eyes again. “You can share.”

  “Bren, Hayley, and Hayden don’t have access to these funds until their twenty-fifth birthdays. As the trustee, it’s essentially Royce’s money to do as he sees fit,” Amery explains. “That’s why it’s best to appoint someone who has your best interests and won’t drain your Trust.”

  “Dad’s stingy,” Bren grumbles, and Wynn finally catches on to why my son isn’t rolling in dough.

  “It was a terrifying few years when Donny was the trustee.” I shudder, remembering how he would buy all sorts of unnecessary things, a substantial amount of money disappeared with no paper trail, and I had no way of stopping him. I feared my children’s money would be gone before they could ever use it.

  “Uncle Donny was the trustee?” Bren glares at me, hands clenched into fists on the tabletop. “Of my money?”

  “Yes, that was the provision set by the judge so Donny and I couldn’t fight over control. We each had a Trust of twenty-five percent, combined with this Trust, the trustee controlled seventy-five percent of my father’s settlement. Assuming a father would act in the best interests of their children, the trustee was appointed by the majority. Two-to-one: Hayden and Hayley versus Bren. Donny took over the day of their birth. Then money started flowing like water. The day Sean pulled up in a brand new truck was the only time I’d ever hit my brother.”

  Willa’s stare burns a hole in the side of my face… waiting. “Oh, fuck!” I slump to the table, arms wrapping around my head. I peek at Willa. “That’s why? And you knew and didn’t tell me?”