From Fake to Forever

by Jennifer Shirk

  “For next year,” Missy repeated. “Already?”

  “She said she wanted to get a jump on things.”

  “Considering there’s no one else jumping, I’d say that’s a pretty big jump. Besides, we’re not even through two months of this school year.”

  “I know. It’s the strangest thing.”

  The telephone rang again. Sandra looked at her watch and thought it was unusual for it to be so active since it was just after nine in the morning. “Hello, Storybook Land,” she answered. “Yes, I am. Sure, but… Did you? Well, yes, I’d be happy to.” With wide eyes, Sandra shrugged at Missy. “Okay, let me have your email, and I’ll send you out all the information,” she said into the phone.

  She hung up again and, afraid it was some sort of weird Halloween prank, didn’t take her eyes off the phone. “You’re not going to believe—”

  “Let me guess, another mother wanting to get the jump on next year’s enrollment?” Sandra just nodded.

  Missy cocked her head. “I wonder if a preschool in the area is closing.”

  Out of nowhere, Carol charged through the door, clad in sky-blue doctor’s scrubs and a stethoscope around her neck. “Check this out,” she announced, waving a thick magazine. Pausing in front of the desk, she brought the magazine to her chest and eyed Missy’s costume from head to toe.

  “What?” Missy asked, setting a hand on her hip.

  “Uh…green is your color.”

  Missy wrinkled her witch nose. “The children will love it.”

  Carol’s face registered doubt, and then she looked at Sandra. “Where’s your costume?”

  Sandra simply pointed to the rabbit ears on the desk.

  “Nice effort.”

  She gritted her teeth. Everyone’s Halloween spirit was starting to get on her nerves. “Look, what did you want to show us?”

  “This.” Carol folded the magazine in half and thrust it out before them. Sandra glanced at the smiling GQ picture of Ben then looked up at Carol with apprehension. She wasn’t so sure her heart could take hearing about the star-studded life Ben had gone back to.

  “Just read it,” Carol insisted.

  It was a short two-page article entitled “Proud Papa,” which talked about Ben’s new change in attitude toward his career choices and how he was in negotiations for the lead role in the film Heaven Sent. But Sandra couldn’t get past the first page and the reference to Jennifer Lawrence, who had expressed a keen interest in getting involved with the project. Sandra wasn’t surprised. Why wouldn’t a battalion of women already be lining up to become the next flavor of the month? With a nauseated feeling, she turned away. Reading halfway through the article hadn’t given her any information she didn’t already know.

  “Very interesting,” she muttered.

  “That’s what I thought, too,” Carol said. “Don’t you think that was sweet of Ben?”

  Sandra whipped her head back around. “Sweet?”

  “Yeah, didn’t you read the article?”

  She paused only briefly, but it was enough for Carol to thrust out the magazine again. “Read.”

  She hesitated then took the magazine and began to read where she’d left off. She soon realized how wrong she’d been about the article. It did convey information she wasn’t aware of. Like how much Ben had learned about love and family from her, and how spending time at her preschool had taught him valuable real-life lessons he planned to use when he raised his own family some day. Questions sprang up and flooded her mind, and when she’d finally finished reading, she stared at Carol and her sister in puzzlement.

  “That…that was nice of him,” she said.

  “Nice?” Carol cried. “He mentions the name of this little preschool in a nationally known and read magazine, mentions what a wonderful program it has to offer, mentions your name, and all you have to say is, ‘Um, that was nice of him.’ Sheesh! He practically said he loves you. And he practically handed over your number to hundreds of mothers in this area. I’d say it was more than nice. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were getting calls on this by this afternoon.”

  Missy shifted uncomfortably. “Actually, we hav—”

  “Missy.” Sandra’s tone held a note of warning. “Let’s not let this get out of hand, okay? I mean, I think we’re reading more into this than there is.”

  “And just how are you reading it?” Carol asked.

  She slowly licked her lips. “That he’s only promoting a movie.”

  Carol and Missy waited for a better response. Their stares told her so.

  “Okay,” she said, stalling for time. “Maybe he feels guilty about using Hannah and me for his personal research.”

  “And maybe this is his way of showing you he cares,” Missy offered.

  “I know you guys are trying to cheer me up, but it’s not working. Just stop, okay?” She didn’t need this weak show of encouragement or any more false-hope speculations from them. She’d already pushed Ben away. It wouldn’t do any good to boost her spirits for no reason. She needed real comfort. Something tangible…like Ben to walk through that door again and confess his undying love.

  The phone rang instead.

  Missy reached over for the receiver. “Hello, Storybook Land,” she said in her singsong voice. There was a short silence. Then she shot Sandra a smug smile as she told the person on the phone she’d get out information to them about the school’s enrollment as soon as possible.

  Sandra had to sit down. It was all too much to take. All the phone calls. All the future enrollments. It had never occurred to her that Ben would continue to take it upon himself to do anything nice for her—especially after everything she’d said to him. Had he really meant what he’d told her? Did they really have something special? Obviously not, since he wasn’t here with her now. He didn’t care enough to stay. So what if he’d said a few nice things on her behalf? It didn’t change anything. Not one single thing.

  Except her business.

  He had helped her business. Then why wasn’t she happy? She should be thrilled—doing a Snoopy dance around her office—at the prospect of so much business coming in. And she hadn’t even spent a dime of her own money. She still hadn’t even decided what to do with the money Ben’s agent had given her. This was a dream come true. Things couldn’t be more perfect.

  Her business was going to thrive. She’d have the financial support to raise her daughter comfortably without the worry of bills, debt, or foreclosure. And things—no, life—couldn’t be more…

  Terrible.

  What was the matter with her? Had she gotten herself so wrapped up in Ben Capshaw that she’d lost sight of the real objective in her life? Yes. She had. Because now the success of her business wasn’t enough anymore. The token of friendship he’d tried to convey through that article just wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

  She wanted Ben.

  …

  Ben nudged open the classroom door, hoping to slip in and surprise the kids, but all heads turned in his direction at the exact moment the tip of his boot made contact with the threshold of the door. Maybe it was a little presumptuous of him to think a six-foot-tall man dressed as a pirate would go unnoticed.

  “Ahoy, mateys,” he said with a grin. “Who here among ye buckos has a suitable welcome for Captain Big Bens?”

  “Big Bens!” Then there were giggles and chatter, as half the kids were already out of their seats by the time he fully entered the classroom.

  Hannah jumped up and down in front of him, chattering with excitement. “Big Bens, how do you like my costume? Look at the heart my mommy drew. Don’t I look beautiful? I’m a princess, but not Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. I’m not Snow White, either, because I don’t have a red bow. My mommy made me a regular princess.”

  Ben smiled as he gazed down at Sandra’s angelic little girl. A crushing feeling began to form in his chest as he realized what he’d lost. How he missed being a part of this family. The reality of being loved and loving someone else. He hoped
he wasn’t too late to change things.

  He shook his head. “Not a regular princess, sweetheart. You’re the most beautiful princess ever made.” He stole a glance at the other children’s fixed stares and tried for a lighter mood. “Maybe if I’m lucky, Santa will get me a princess costume like that for Christmas,” he said with a wink.

  Hannah giggled but shook her head at him. “Sorry, Big Bens, but you can’t have a princess costume. Only girls can be princesses. You just get pants and tires and stuff.”

  “Ben!” Missy cried. “We thought we’d never see you again.”

  He looked over and did a double take at the green woman in black. “Missy? Is that you?”

  “Of course it is.” She gave him a sunny, blackened-tooth smile, and the fake wart on her nose fell off.

  He cringed. “Uh, nice costume.”

  Ignoring his comment, she raced up to him. “Have you spoken to Sandra yet?” she asked.

  “No. Carol let me in. She said Sandra forgot candy or something for the party. I was kind of hoping to talk to her, though.” He paused and looked down, making a show of inspecting the tips of his black boots. “So…uh…how is she?”

  “Sandra? Oh, you know,” she said with a casual wave of her hand. “The same as you, I’m sure.”

  Oh, man. Missy had no clue. He missed Sandra so much he could barely see straight, let alone function. And if Sandra was experiencing just a fraction of the mental incapacity he had over their separation, he’d consider himself a fortunate man.

  “Did she happen to see my interview in GQ?” he asked. “I mean, I was just wondering if she liked it and…” He cleared his throat. “And if she said anything. About me.” It was almost pitiable. Just like that, Sandra had reduced him to a sixteen-year-old, searching for scraps of information on a girl.

  “Yes, she did see it.” Missy turned away to get the class’s attention.

  That’s it? Just “yes, she did see it.” What the heck kind of information could he take from that?

  “Okay, everyone sit down,” Missy called out. “We’re going to begin making our trick-or-treat bags.” She looked down at the little boy in the Spider-Man outfit and frowned. “That means you too, Blade.” Still ignoring Ben standing there, she took a stack of paper bags off the desk behind her and began handing one out to each child.

  Ben watched Missy move at a slower-than-a-tortoise rate and wanted to beat his head against the wall. There had to be more to what Sandra had thought about the article. Had he redeemed himself at all in her eyes? His future with her depended on knowing that. And he had to know now. So taking matters into his own hands, he grabbed crayon boxes and markers and chucked them onto the children’s tables.

  “Take it easy, Ben,” Missy said with a confused smile. “Two weeks out of this and you’re already rusty.”

  “Yeah, yeah, rusty. Listen, Missy, you didn’t finish what you were saying before…you know, about my interview. What exactly did Sandra say?”

  She looked thoughtful for a moment, hugging the bags to her chest. “That was so sweet of you to mention the preschool. We were all bowled over, and Sandra said she didn’t know how to thank you enough.”

  Ben had a suggestion. Okay, a few suggestions. For as long as they both shall live…

  “She did?” His heart lifted, and he could have laughed out loud in relief and hope. “Then Sandra liked it? She didn’t think it was too over-the-top?”

  “Why don’t you ask me yourself?”

  He spun around at her voice. Sandra stood at the door, only three feet away. She didn’t have a costume on like Missy or Carol, but the grim set of her lips and the haunted look in her eyes more than befitted the Halloween theme. She still looked beautiful to him, so beautiful he wanted to reach out and take her in his arms. There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he had to say to her. But his thoughts clogged together.

  “Still going with the pirate facade, I see,” she said, wheeling in a cart of orange and black cupcakes, snacks, and juice boxes. “The Long John Silver family must have taken you in for research as well.”

  Her cheap shot was a direct hit, but it only proved she had some sort of feelings toward him. Good or bad, he’d take it. He shrugged and tried a smile. “Old habits die hard.”

  “So I’ve noticed.”

  “And I’ve noticed you still hate me.”

  She looked surprised. “No, Ben, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I—” She stopped herself short and, in her usual all-business attitude he’d always admired, began sorting the food onto Halloween plates. Then, all of a sudden, she stopped and hung her head. “Thank you,” she said softly.

  He moved closer, wanting to give his words more privacy while Missy gave instructions to the children. Sandra’s sweet, peachy scent, so uniquely her, made his knees go weak, but he kept himself together. “I told you I cared and would do anything for you. You don’t need to thank me.”

  “No, I do. That simple plug you gave the school in that interview has my phone ringing off its hook. I already have a waiting list for next semester, as well as next year.” She finally looked up, her blue eyes glistening with tears. “Thanks to you, I don’t have to worry about supporting my daughter. I have everything I could ever possibly want.”

  He touched her then, just a hand on her arm, but he didn’t think he’d ever be able to let go again. “Do you really? Do you really have everything you want?” He hadn’t meant to sound so desperate, but…well…he was.

  “I don’t—I think so. I mean…” Her delicate brows drew together. “What are you doing here, Ben? I thought your research was done.”

  “I hated the way we left things. I wanted to see you, to see how you were doing.” His gaze shot to Hannah. “And I wanted to fulfill a promise to my favorite little princess.”

  Sandra looked at him in stunned disbelief. After everything she’d thought him capable of, he supposed it was par for the course—but a kick in the teeth just the same.

  “Ben, you should know some of the parents are coming here for the party. We’re going to have a Halloween parade for them. They’ll be arriving soon, so you may want to leave now, or you might be bombarded with some excited mothers.”

  “I don’t care if any of the parents see me. They might not even recognize me with my costume. Besides, Hannah invited me. She wants me here.” He prayed a small part of Sandra wanted him here, too.

  She nodded and turned toward the door.

  “Sandals,” he rushed out, snapping her attention back to him. He glanced at Missy and the class and lowered his voice. “If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t have told Hannah that I’d come. You might as well learn now that when some people make a promise, they keep it. And I’m one of those people.”

  She looked down, her voice just above a whisper. “I know, Ben. I know that. Now.”

  “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere until we settle a few things. I think it’s about time we figure out exactly what we have between us, don’t you?”

  Her mouth opened, but she didn’t answer. It didn’t matter. Sandra didn’t know it, but as she nervously turned and ran out the door, she had already given Ben the encouragement he was looking for.

  …

  Sandra stayed out of his way the rest of the morning and tried her best to appear as busy as possible, avoiding even the simplest of small talk with him. Her efforts to avoid Ben worked against her, though, since she was forced to avoid conversations with the parents as well. Some of the mothers had recognized him and even asked for autographs. Of course, Ben was his usual charming self, making the children laugh as he posed for pictures with them and helped pass out the food. He fit right in to the whole preschool atmosphere and appeared to have a wonderful time.

  She was glad someone had. Because she sure hadn’t.

  Ben’s words about settling what was going on between them troubled her, turning her into a mass of frayed nerves. She felt terrible about comparing Ben to Steve. Ben was the type to keep his
promises. He wasn’t anything like her ex-husband.

  What exactly had Ben come here looking for? She loved him and wanted him so much. She knew now he wasn’t the bad guy she’d made him out to be. Maybe she’d known it all along, but she’d been afraid to let her guard down, afraid she’d be swept right back into his web of magnetism and get hurt all over again like she had been with Steve. So she kept her real feelings carefully contained.

  As the last child left for the day, she took out a broom and began sweeping up the cupcake sprinkles that had made their way out into the hall. When she was done, she carried the broom to her office and was surprised to see Ben and Hannah waiting for her there. He had taken off his pirate wig and eye patch, and she noticed his sandy-colored hair was now cut short, making him look every square inch the handsome icon he was. They both looked up, shooting glowing smiles at her. Her heart fluttered at the sight of Hannah nestled in his lap with his arm wrapped around her in a loving gesture. She never wanted the picture of the two of them together like that to fade from her mind.

  “What are you guys doing?” she asked.

  Ben waved a book. “Reading. And waiting for you. Which has been a long time, for your information. You still don’t know how to give it a rest, do you?”

  “Yeah, Mommy,” Hannah chimed in. “Don’t you know how to give it a rest?”

  She bit back a laugh and leaned the broom against the wall. “Old habits die hard.”

  “I guess we both need to work on that,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers.

  Hannah patted Ben’s cheek to get his attention. “Are you leaving or are you coming home? Because I like it when you’re home better.”

  Ben’s brows knitted together. “Home? You mean your home?”

  “Yeah. I like it when you’re home with us better,” she said, sliding off his lap. “And you know who else likes it when you’re home?”

  “Who?” he asked.

  “My mommy. She’s not happy when you’re not home.”

  Ben’s eyes flashed with amusement, and as his gaze shot to Sandra, he let out a slow I-think-I-might-have-just-won-the-lottery grin.

  “See?” Hannah said, pointing. “My mommy’s happy today.”