Under His Skin

by Jennifer Blackstream

  What a fool he was. Clearly Ana was not a bad person, not some evil creature bent on causing pain and misery. She had the urge to heal and a strong sense of right and wrong. If she was doing something as horrible as stealing skins, she must have a reason. The fact that she’d refused to share that reason thus far, even when she knew that she’d remain a prisoner in her own home until she gave up her secret, should have told him from the beginning that whatever her reason was, it was personal.

  And what did he do? He demanded she tell him. Two days ago he’d showed up in her room, waving a blade around and threatening to skin her, and he’d just expected her to spill her precious secrets because he asked?

  His mind replayed how Ana had rushed to retrieve armfuls of healing herbs, trying to anticipate his needs before he’d even asked her. He thought of the healing texts in her room, and the anger she’d shown when she thought he was being cruel to his patient. All this time, she’d been showing signs of wanting to be a healer and he’d never realized just what an opportunity was staring him right in the face.

  Ana rushed ahead of him to open the door to her cabin and he smiled as he made his way inside with the unconscious toos still in his arms.

  “I’m going to take him up to your spare bedroom, if that’s all right?”

  Ana nodded. “Of course.” She gestured awkwardly at the fish. “Uh, what do you want me to do with this?”

  “Grab some gotu kola and bring it and the fish up to the spare room. The gotu kola should give him enough energy to wake up and eat.”

  He watched her walk into the kitchen and retrieve the herb, chuckling at how she paused to frown at the fish in her hand. She must have heard him laugh because she glanced up.

  “Are you laughing at me?” she demanded.

  The twitch in her lips betrayed her amusement and Brec nodded. “It is sort of funny to watch you carry around a dead fish.”

  “Yeah, hysterical,” Ana grumbled good-naturedly. “It even smells funny.”

  Brec laughed again and together, they went upstairs and got the toos situated on the bed. Ana frowned as Brec settled Mano on his stomach.

  “Why are you putting him on his stomach?”

  The uneasy tone in her voice drew Brec’s attention to her injured fingers. He stepped back and gently took the fish and the gotu kola from her hands.

  “I’m going to stuff the fish with the gotu kola,” he explained, keeping his voice calm and reassuring. “Then I’m going to drag it over the teeth in the mouth on his back and hope instinct takes over. The gotu kola combined with the energy from the food should be enough to bring him back to consciousness. Then we can start feeding him more like a human.”

  Ana shifted her weight to her other foot, the look on her face clearly conveying her discomfort with the idea. “Can’t we just make the gotu kola into a liquid and pour it down his throat? Wouldn’t that wake him up enough to eat?”

  Brec nodded. “That’s plan B. But this way would be faster.”

  He began stuffing the herbs into the mouth of the fish.

  “So you said you’d explain what happened to him,” Ana spoke up.

  Brec paused, glancing at the toos. As much as he hated the shark people, even he had to admit that what the fishermen had done to Mano made his skin crawl.

  “They caught him when he was in shark form and cut off his dorsal fin,” Brec answered quietly. Anger burned inside him and this time it wasn’t aimed at the toos. “Shark fin soup is a very expensive delicacy in Asia. Fishermen throw the rest of the shark’s body back into the sea so they’ll have room for more fins. The shark can’t swim without its dorsal fin so it drowns.”

  “That can’t be legal,” Ana said.

  The very suggestion that any human could mutilate an animal and then leave it to die seemed to horrify her, and Brec became even more convinced that Ana was not as evil as he had once imagined her to be.

  “It’s not legal. But the money to be made from shark fins is too great to pass up for a lot of fishermen.”

  “So cutting off his fin made him change to human form?”

  Brec shook his head. “No. He likely took human form in an attempt to get the fishermen to pull him into their boat and take him to a healer. Without the dorsal fin on his head, he would have looked human as long as he kept the mouth on his back closed. With no teeth showing, the mouth just looks like a strange scar.”

  “What about his own people? Couldn’t they have helped him?”

  Now Brec had to laugh. It was a short humorless sound, brought on by images of the Spartan-like toos culture. “His own people would have eaten him if he’d been weak enough. The toos value strength and power above all else. Eating one of their own kind is a quick way to gain status.”

  Ana’s lips parted as she stared at him. Brec raised an eyebrow. “Still angry with me for the cayenne pepper?”

  Immediately her eyes narrowed and Brec almost stepped back in surprise at the sudden anger that tightened her face. Before he could even try to compensate for his slip of the tongue, Mano began to thrash on the table.

  Brec shouted as he jumped back, briefly registering the way the blood had drained from Ana’s face when the toos’ body started convulsing. When he was certain Ana was out of harm’s way, he focused his attention on his patient. It took less than ten seconds to realize what was happening.

  Mano’s skin turned grey before the flesh along the shark mouth on his back paled to white and the skin above it turned black. Dark blotches marred the white flesh and his two black bottomless eyes moved forward on a face that was steadily becoming more cone-shaped. His hair vanished and his legs fused together as his shark form roared from within his human body. His hands and arms flattened into fins. In what had only been a matter of minutes, Ana and Brec stood staring at a fully grown male salmon shark.

  Ana screamed as the shark jerked its tail around, the torpedo shaped body nearly tumbling off the bed as the wide open jaws closed on thin air. In shark form, the toos was at least nine feet long. His tail extended off the bed, only the heavy weight of its torso keeping it off the floor. The mattress creaked and groaned as over four hundred pounds of shark strained its springs.

  “What is he doing?” Ana shrieked. She stared at his back. “His dorsal fin only sticks out an inch, it hasn’t healed yet!”

  “He’s suffocating, that’s what he’s doing,” Brec said loudly. He walked up to where the shark’s eyes could see him. “We can’t carry you to the water, you’re too heavy. You’re going to die if you don’t change back.”

  The shark savagely thrust from one side to another. Brec didn’t know if Mano was trying to leverage himself off the bed, or if he was struggling to take on his human form again. Either way, things didn’t seem to be going well.

  “Come on, Mano,” Ana urged. “You have to take human form again. You can do this, I know you can. You have to let us help you. We’ll heal you and you can go back to the water. You have to trust us.”

  Brec’s jaw dropped as the toos began to twitch and the black shiny skin of its back began to lighten. As if some deity was rewinding reality like a motion picture, the transformation process reversed itself. Mano’s tail split and formed two legs, his fins thinned into arms and hands, and his entire body shrank down to form the muscular human body that had first arrived at Ana’s in a bloody sheet.

  When it was all over, Mano lie on the bed, pale and covered in sweat. He sucked in air as if he hadn’t taken a breath in hours, the sound of oxygen being dragged into his desperate lungs almost painful to Brec’s ears. He gave the toos time to catch his breath, holding the lecture he was obligated to give in the grand tradition of healers everywhere.

  “What in the name of Alaunus were you thinking?” Brec asked, shaking his head. “You could have—”

  “My dorsal fin,” Mano gasped, still trying to catch his breath. “Is it . . . better?”

  Brec frowned. “What—”

  “Yes, a little, but even when you were a shark it was
only about an inch high,” Ana interjected. “It didn’t even really come to a point.”

  Mano closed his eyes, lying back on the bed for a moment. “But it is better.”

  Ana nodded and Brec narrowed his eyes at her. Either she didn’t see him or she was deliberately ignoring him.

  “Ana,” he spoke up sternly. “Don’t encourage him.”

  “Yes, it’s definitely better.”

  Ignoring him then. Brec clenched his teeth as the beginnings of anger stirred in his belly. It was all fine and good for Ana to show an interest in healing, but she was taking it too far. He was the healer in this room and he was in the best position to say what was best for Mano. Whatever the toos was trying to accomplish by shapeshifting, he had to know that whatever it was, he had a better chance of killing himself this way than of reaching any goal.

  “Then I’m going to try it again,” Mano said. His voice sounded a little stronger and even Brec was impressed at how quickly he’d recovered his breath after almost suffocating.

  “Your plan is to keep changing form as a means to force your fin to regenerate faster?” Brec asked, his voice deadpan.

  The toos nodded, his eyes still closed as if he were concentrating on breathing.

  “That’s ridiculous—”

  “I have some horsetail and shavegrass,” Ana interrupted, sparing a scathing glance for Brec. “If you’ll wait long enough for me to make it into a paste, I can apply it to your dorsal fin and see if it helps speed the process.”

  Mano opened his eyes, fixing Ana with his ebony stare. Brec shifted uneasily on his feet. There was something about the way the toos looked at Ana that he didn’t like.

  “I will wait,” Mano said finally, his gaze still on Ana’s face. “And I thank you for your help.”

  Ana’s face brightened as if someone had flipped a switch and turned on an invisible light bulb inside her. Her eyes brightened and she stood a little straighter, looking almost proud of herself. She nodded at Mano and turned to leave the room.

  “Wait,” Brec said suddenly.

  Ana whirled around, the shine in her eyes turning to sparks of anger as she leveled a death glare at him. “I would think a selkie would have a little better understanding of how badly Mano wants to go back to the sea.”

  The words he’d been about to speak stuck in his throat. Brec narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Ana squared her shoulders, staring him down like a queen being forced to speak to a particularly slow peasant. “Don’t you get it? He has a life in the sea that he could never have on land. The sea is his home, it’s where he’s safe and happy. Being stuck on land is torture for him.” She fixed him with a steady look. “You should know. I saw your face when you came out of the sea today. It was like the saltwater washed away all your tension, all your stress. You looked happy.”

  Her eyes darkened with something like pain and Brec had the sudden urge to hold her. She was right, being in the sea had soothed his soul. He was a selkie, he belonged in the sea. Being on land for so long had taken its toll, especially with the stress he’d felt trying to save unnamed skinwalkers from the misery of a lost skin. Given that she’d been under a lot of stress herself, Brec was surprised Ana had noticed the sea’s effect on him. And he was curious about why it seemed to pain her to talk about it.

  “What has that effect on you?” he asked suddenly, following the glimmer of an idea.

  Ana frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “You talk about the sea and what it’s like for me or Mano to be away from it, how important it is for us to go back.” Brec’s brain whirred furiously, trying to get his thought out before it slipped away from him. “You talk like you know the feeling. What is it that brings you the peace that the sea brings us?” He straightened as his thought took another turn. “And how long have you been away from it?”

  The blood drained from Ana’s face, her lips parting as her eyes widened. Brec’s heart pounded a furious rhythm as adrenaline flooded his system. He’d hit a nerve. Somehow, he’d touched on what was behind the skin thefts, he knew it. He had to proceed carefully, or the moment would be lost.

  “Ana,” he started softly.

  Without a word, Ana spun and fled the room. Brec took a few steps after her, frustration tightening his skin as he struggled to think of a way to reach her. He heard her make her way to the lower level of the house, no doubt gathering the promised herbs from her circle. If he followed her now, she’d only avoid him under the guise of helping the toos. Better to handle that situation first and then revisit the matter when she’d had some time to think.

  Turning back to Mano, Brec sighed. “Can you stand?”

  The toos narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

  “If you move to the bathroom, we can use the showerhead to keep your gills ventilated when you’re in shark form,” Brec explained patiently. “It’ll keep you alive long enough to recover the strength to change back.”

  Mano raised his eyebrows and then nodded slowly. “Lead the way.”

  Brec waited for Mano to stand, assuring himself the toos was steady on his feet and then led the way to the bathroom adjacent to Ana’s room. Mano didn’t have to stop and rest on the way there, but once they arrived, Brec noticed the toos was breathing heavy.

  “You don’t have to do this, you know,” Brec said quietly. “You would be safe here for a few days. If you’re worried that I’ll cause you harm—”

  The toos barked out a laugh and turned his dark eyes to Brec. “Healer, I can sense the touch of your god all over you.” He slanted a sly look at Brec. “And even if you were so inclined to go against your god, something tells me your delightful mate would be less than thrilled with you. Believe me when I say I fear no harm at your hands.”

  “She’s not my mate.”

  The toos rolled his eyes. “Oh, how old are you?”

  “Look,” Brec ground out, his frustration and annoyance giving his voice a gravelly quality. “We both want you back in the sea as soon as possible, so why don’t you lie down on the floor and shut up?”

  Ana came into the bathroom and both men fell silent. The toos gave Brec another thoughtful look before lying down on the floor. Brec couldn’t help, but stare at Ana. The tension rolling off of her was palpable. As she bent down and began applying the herbs to Mano’s regenerating fin, she kept shooting furtive glances up at Brec. When she saw he was watching her, she fixed her eyes on the toos and didn’t look up again.

  You want to tell me something, I know you do. What’s your secret, Ana? Why won’t you tell me and let me help you?

  Chapter 17

  Brec’s gaze burned into her back like a solid beam of heat. It was all she could do to grit her teeth and keep smearing the herbal paste over Mano’s head without turning around again. Even without looking, she could see his eyes. Like glistening pools of black water, searching her soul.

  “What made you move to the bathroom?” she asked, trying to make her voice light and casual.

  “He’s going to get weaker every time he shifts. I thought it would be best to keep him in here so that if he gets stuck in shark form, we can use the shower water to keep his gills ventilated long enough for him to recover the energy to shift back.”

  “How thoughtful,” Ana murmured softly. Her mind spun a mile a minute. Was Brec being sincere? Did he really care about keeping the toos alive and helping him return to the water? Or was this all an act to keep her from seeing his vengeful side? Ana frowned, concentrating on rubbing the herbal concoction over Mano’s shallow fin. Considering what the toos did to Brec’s people, she could only imagine how hard it must be for the selkie to understand her desire to help Mano.

  Ana’s hand faltered, her gaze locked on the small ridge that had once been Mano’s dorsal fin. Those men had cut it off. They’d ripped him from the sea, prevented him from returning home. She knew what that was like. Her fur hadn’t been cut from her body, but losing her skin to the flames had cut her out of her world ju
st the same. She couldn’t regrow her skin, but Mano could regrow his fin. And if she could help him hasten the process, could lessen the amount of suffering being cut off from one’s true home caused, then she would do anything she could to help.

  “What is it that brings you the peace that the sea brings us? And how long have you been away from it?”

  Again she had to fight not to look back at Brec. For the first time since he’d gotten here, she sensed he was close to figuring her out. His words hit too close to home and it frightened her. Not just because she sensed he was closer to her secrets—but because she’d been so close to telling him.