Dreaming felt dangerous. Especially now. But hope—ridiculous as it seemed—kept calling to her. A siren song that belonged to art, the power of creation, the surge of possibilities.
She lowered her camera, taking in the parade. Townsfolk and Top Dog Dude Ranch participants alike walked down the route. A new arrival dressed as a beekeeper walked a little bumblebee bulldog puppy. Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf marched with their leashed pugs dressed like three little pigs.
The grandmother, daughter and granddaughter trio wore fairy wings, accompanied by a Labrador retriever wearing a gnome hat.
Bopping her head to the twang of the nearby banjo, Kelsey tugged on the hem of her skirt. As a Harlequin clown, Kelsey had opted for a more glam—and classic—costume than her sister. “Too bad Dad couldn’t get back for the color run this morning.”
Nina adjusted the zoom on her camera, focusing on the Smooch Your Pooch kissing booth raising funds for a local animal shelter. A rough collie with a lion’s mane costume was the current pooch folks could take a picture with. “Aunt Ashlynn did a good job standing in before she left. We placed third.”
Kacie stuffed cotton candy into her mouth. “We could have been first if Dad had been here.”
“Is Dad going to make it back in time for the party tonight? I want him to see my costume.” Kelsey twirled on one foot like a ballerina, then almost lost her balance. Her arms reached for Kacie, whose steady presence kept her from falling. A dachshund dressed as a crayon barked from the parade route.
“I’m not sure, sweetie.” Nina lowered her camera to look her daughter in the eyes, her heart squeezing. “He texted that he’s on his way as soon as he wraps up things at the farm.”
He’d finally called her, but had kept the conversation brief—so painfully brief. He’d just told her the basics on what he’d done to secure their animals and said they needed to talk in person. She’d thought at one point she detected a hint of something upbeat in his voice, pushing past his exhaustion. But she’d been mistaken so many times over the years she just couldn’t bring herself to repeat past mistakes by grasping at false hope.
“Girls, let’s enjoy today and if he doesn’t make it in time, you can tell him all about it on the ride home.”
Kelsey rubbed her temple. “I wish Aunt Ashlynn could have stayed to see all of this. She said being here reminded her of the time she lived with us. I miss her.”
“So do I, kiddo, so do I.” Nina let the camera hang around her neck. Pulling Kelsey toward her, she slid her arm around her daughter and squeezed her tight.
Ashlynn had a way of cutting right to the heart of the matter. It was one of the things she admired about her sister.
And Ashlynn had managed to pick up on Kelsey’s anxiety in less than a day when Douglas and Nina missed it living in the same house.
How strange she’d never realized Kelsey was a lot like Douglas. Both of them held all their worries inside.
Alone in bed the night before, Nina had read a lot about the physical manifestations of anxiety, certain Ashlynn had a point. Nina had asked Kelsey to share about the sensory calming exercise Ashlynn taught her, and Kelsey’s earnest determination to get it right broke Nina’s heart.
And truth be told, right now Nina’s insides were every bit as torn up by fears as Kelsey’s had been. She felt like that young teen again, orphaned, with no idea what her future held. Aching to have her family back, but knowing there was no way to re-create what once was.
And feeling completely ill-equipped to put all the pieces together to bring a vision for something new into focus.
A squeal cut her thoughts short. Kacie jumped up and down, waving, her rodeo clown hat flopping. “Whoo hoo! Dad’s back.”
Chapter Fourteen
Douglas could still feel the strength and love in his daughters’ hugs. Their squeals of welcome echoed in his ears even as they gathered for supper. The evening’s chili and pie cook-off was situated alongside the corn maze, moonlight and tiki torches cutting the darkness in the field between the main ranch house and the barn. The costume parade had ended, with most of the locals heading for home after dinner, but here and there a winged fairy or masked pirate would streak past with a parent.
Now evening activities were beginning for the ranch guests, the air buzzing with the low hum of laugher and after-dinner conversation highlighting another Top Dog success. The ranch had shown Douglas how good life could be if he took stock of all that he already had.
As if he didn’t have enough driving him to fight for his family—for his wife. He’d been trying to find the right time to get her alone since he returned, even if he didn’t have a plan yet.
And finally, his daughters were parked in a nearby clearing with a dozen other kids for a sing-along, complete with babysitters to keep watch and feed them dinner.
Nerves kicked up his pulse. He turned to his wife, and they both spoke at once.
He said, “We have to talk—”
“There’s something I have to tell you,” she announced, then stopped short. “You first.”
Curiosity, hope and dread mixed into a strange intoxicating tonic. “No, you go ahead.”
She glanced over at the kids, both engrossed in a rousing chorus of “Home on the Range.”
“Follow me.” Nina gestured toward the corn maze. “We need to go somewhere we can both hear clearly.”
He would have thought she was propositioning him, except she tugged at her camera strap in the way she did when she was stressed.
“You look worried.” He touched the small of her back lightly, the simple contact sending a jolt of awareness through him. Was she unhappy with him—rightly so—after the way he’d left? “What’s wrong?”
She walked deeper in the maze, the moonlight shimmering off her golden-blond hair. “I had a conversation with Ashlynn before she left that really has me worried.”
Alarms sounded in his head. What else could go wrong? He hated always being on the lookout for the next crisis. “About what?”
Nina stopped, pivoting to face him, her dark eyes so troubled it broke his heart. He wanted to stroke back her hair, gather her into his arms, but her arms were tight across her chest defensively.
“Ashlynn’s concerned that the stress of our marital problems is taking a toll on Kelsey to the point she’s developing some physical symptoms.”
The echo of banjo music faded as his world narrowed. He jammed his hands into his pockets. “What do you mean by physical symptoms?”
“Stomach pains, headaches, things like that.” Her shoulders sagged, but her arms stayed folded across her chest. “Ashlynn said they seemed to be tied into anxiety about all that’s been going on with Tyler, with money problems...and with us.” Her fingers gravitated to the camera strap again. “I think we need to talk to Kelsey about this before we leave.”
To tell their daughter what? He was at a loss, so far out of his emotional depth he questioned how in the world he would be able to win back his wife. “What do you think we should say to her?”
“Well, we can’t say everything will be all right when there’s no way we can guarantee that.” She looked up at him, shrugging, her beautiful brown eyes so sad it tore his heart in two. “We do the only thing we possibly can do. We need to be honest.”
“Or maybe we can just ask her what’s wrong, see what she says, and take it from there.” Where had that come from? He’d always deferred to Nina when it came to parenting.
But it just seemed to him that they’d all done a lot of assuming what the other was thinking or feeling without asking. Four separate entities moving through life, rather than a cohesive family.
Nina eyed him with confusion, and more than a little surprise. “Sure, that’s actually a smart way to handle it.”
“It’s been my experience lately that no matter how hard I plan, life throws curveballs at me
, left and right. I can see how Kelsey might feel the same and be struggling to put those feelings into words.”
“Ashlynn suggested counseling.” She eyed him warily. “Is this something you would consider? For us, too?”
He drew in a shaky breath, taking hope in the fact that she was even willing to consider counseling, when just two weeks ago she’d been ready to call it quits. “I know I’ve screwed up and I want to fix it. I just need you to be patient a little while longer so I can do this in my own time.”
“Douglas, our time here at the ranch is running out and I can’t keep holding on forever.”
There was a vulnerability in her eyes that told him he could kiss her, here alone in the corn maze away from prying eyes, that he could press the advantage, kiss her and kiss away all the pain he’d caused her.
But he could see she wasn’t ready to forgive him for walking away, and they also needed to put Kelsey’s mind to rest about whatever was in her heart. And while he’d learned about listening, he’d also discovered the wisdom of waiting for the right time. Not avoiding, just preparing.
His wife, the love of his life, deserved to be swept off her feet with romance and the reassurance he was a man she could trust with forever.
* * *
The next afternoon, Kelsey stood on the split-rail fence around the corral, watching her sister compete in the Top Dog junior rodeo. She was really proud of her, and that was a lot easier to admit now that her sister wasn’t saying mean things to her all the time. How crazy to think that they would be going home tomorrow.
Every junior rodeo competitor had been paired with a ranch hand for the team roping event. Kacie had spent the morning nervously fidgeting with the brim of her pale blue cowboy hat that matched her button-up shirt. But once her twin sat on the horse? All the nerves were swapped for a serenity Kelsey didn’t quite understand but envied.
A clang and squeak announced the opening of the gates. Kacie and Apple moved forward at a quick, controlled lope toward the quick-moving calf.
Cheering, Kelsey leaned forward, almost toppling. Her mom and her dad each clasped one of her shoulders.
“Careful, kiddo,” her dad said. “It’s exciting, isn’t it? Your sister’s really kicking butt out there.”
Right arm circling wide, Kacie aligned herself with the calf. Her rope and the ranch hand’s rope landed spot-on. Perfect form and the quickest time yet.
She advanced to the lead. Exciting. And not surprising. Kelsey cheered until her throat was raw. Then she looked at her dad.
“Kacie’s a lot smarter than she thinks.” Kelsey just wished Kacie knew it. Maybe she would if she won today’s junior rodeo match.
Her mom swept back her braid. “That’s perceptive of you to say. I hope it’s a sign that you two are getting along better.”
Having both her parents here beside her, not fighting, life was almost normal. “Yeah, she’s being a lot nicer since we got here.”
From across the dirt arena, Kacie flashed a smile, beaming at the accomplishment. Kelsey returned the gesture and threw her sister two thumbs up. Nodding, Kacie patted Apple’s neck.
The next event—barrel racing—was about to begin.
Her dad hitched a hip against the fence, angling sideways to look at her. “You still seem, uh, stressed. Is there something on your mind?”
Pursing her lips tight to hold in the words, she shook her head. All her excitement over her sister took a back seat to a burning sensation in her stomach. She stepped down from the fence. “No, nothing, I’m going to go find my book.”
“Hold on.” Her dad touched her arm lightly. “Are you sure there’s nothing we should know?”
She kicked a worn tennis shoe through the dirt. “I just don’t feel good today. That’s all.”
Her mom knelt in front of her. “What’s hurting? Maybe there’s something we can do if we know.”
This was such a great day for her sister, and her parents seemed to be getting along. She hated to ruin that. She glanced back to Kacie, who waited in a line of four horses and riders. Top Dog staff set the bright blue barrels out into the arena, making sure they were appropriately spaced for the competitors.
Jacob read the first name over the loudspeaker. An eleven-year-old boy coaxed a black gelding forward into a gallop.
Kelsey let out a deep breath. She’d tried so hard to keep her problems to herself so her parents could fix theirs, but now everything was coming out at the worst time, right when they should be focusing on Kacie. “It’s just my stomach and my head. There’s nothing anybody can do.”
Her gaze flashed to Kacie, but it wasn’t her turn yet.
“Kelsey, kiddo,” her mom said, taking Kelsey’s hands in hers and leading her to a wooden bench. “Your dad and I love you very much, and we are so very proud of you. You know that, right?”
Her legs folded, and she sank to the bench. “I love you guys, too, and I try really hard not to disappoint you.”
Her mom smoothed a hand over her head. “Sometimes when we put a lot of pressure on ourselves or when life is rough, our bodies show symptoms of the stress. My stomach used to hurt so badly right before a test, or when I went to a new foster home.”
Her dad sat on her other side. “Or how my head pounds when something breaks on the farm.”
All the fear and worries piled up inside her until it bubbled over. She couldn’t keep the words inside any longer. “Is that why Uncle Tyler had that aneurysm? Because he was worried about losing the home where he grew up? That he worried until he died?”
“Kelsey, kiddo, no,” her dad insisted so quickly it sounded like he was telling her the truth. “An aneurysm is a medical condition someone is born with. His death had nothing to do with financial problems.”
Her mom and dad exchanged one of those long, pointed looks before her mom smoothed a hand over her braid. “Are you worried about your headaches?”
Kelsey blinked fast against the sting of tears. “I don’t want to make you guys worry and get sick, too.”
Her mother drew her in for a hug. “Kelsey, honey, it’s never even dawned on us you would worry about that. But when Tyler first became ill, we asked the doctor if it was genetic. He said it was a result of Tyler’s high blood pressure because Tyler didn’t take his medications. If you want us to talk to the doctor together, we can make an appointment. But truly, you’re a healthy ten-year-old girl.”
Kelsey scrubbed a hand over her blurry eyes. Could it really be that simple? What her mom said made sense, and her dad wasn’t arguing.
Another horse and rider, the last competitor, whizzed past them. The pace was so fast, she almost didn’t register that it was Kacie and Apple. Her sister took the first barrel—a blur of blue and red.
Her stomach settled a little, like when she ate crackers, but better. She blinked her burning eyes, watching her twin’s every move. Still, she couldn’t help but ask, “So the headaches? And stomachaches? They’re because I’m upset?”
“That’s certainly possible,” her dad said, in that deep, calm voice of his that made the world better, a voice he hadn’t used in a long time. “This is also something we can talk to the doctor about. Would you like to do that?”
“Yes, please.” She nodded fast. “As soon as we get home. Thank you.”
Around her, the crowd grew frantic, screaming Kacie’s name as her sister and Apple galloped faster and faster. An eruption of clapping and whistles echoed.
Kelsey hugged her mom and her dad, hard, and they both hugged her back at the same time. And for a moment, they were a family again. They were her parents, making sure she was okay.
It would still hurt if they split, but at least she could stop worrying that her parents were going to lose her. She’d been so stressed about that, and now, how quickly that giant fear deflated like an old birthday balloon.
Looking at the time on the
board, she saw that Kacie beat all previous times by two seconds. And everyone in the junior rodeo had been older than her by two or three years. With the winning barrel race time and the team roping points, Kacie was the clear winner. Kelsey heard her sister let out a victory whoop.
And anything, absolutely anything, felt possible.
* * *
Nervously tapping her foot in time with the country band, Nina could hardly believe that this was it, the last event in their two-week retreat. The Fur Ball costume party was in full swing, the barn decked out in lights and lanterns, hay bales and sunflowers.
Nina smoothed her hands down her milkmaid costume she’d chosen in honor of their farm. And yes, she couldn’t deny she’d also picked it for the sassy look that she hoped would catch her husband’s eye. Long ago, he’d said he enjoyed the light her playful side brought to his life. Somehow worries had ironed that out of her.
So much of her time at Top Dog ranch reacquainted Nina with aspects of herself she’d lost sight of.
She just hoped he got to see it since he’d been running late, just saying he needed to have a quick chat with Jacob O’Brien.
Although Jacob was on stage introducing the band members from Raise the Woof—all employees from the ranch. Now familiar faces from Top Dog held guitars, microphones, drums and a keyboard, including the two stable hands who had been flirting with each other at the bonfire.
She couldn’t resist snapping quick photos of the people who’d become like family to her over these past fourteen days. In fact the camera stilled her nerves as she waited for her husband.
So many creative costumes, and so many faces looked lighter than two weeks ago. The firefighter was so relaxed and joyful, she almost didn’t recognize him. His wheelchair was decked out, resembling an elaborate throne. Scepter in hand, his eyes full of light, he gazed at his fiancée. Her crown looked like liquid starlight, glittering with faux diamonds, a feminine twin to the firefighter’s heavier golden crown adorned with rubies.
Last-Chance Marriage Rescue Page 17
