I nod. “I guess so.”
“All the more reason why you should then. We’ll go get some groceries for dinner tonight, and I’ll take you to my favorite bakery. We’ll indulge in the best cupcake in New York City. Normal is good, Kaia. You can do it.”
I chew on my bottom lip considering his suggestion. “If you think I can.”
“I know you can. I’ll be right by your side the whole time.”
“I think that’s kind of the problem. Isn’t it obvious to you yet that I…” I pause, shaking my head.
“Yes, it is obvious.” He smiles. “That’s why I know you can handle this. It’s good for you. We’re just two regular people buying food. That’s all.”
I nod. “Okay. I’ll do it.”
“Good. Finish breakfast and get dressed. I’ll be back in thirty minutes to get you.”
“I’ll be ready.”
I finish my coffee and then find some clothes to wear. I’m nervous and excited to be out with him. I find my baseball cap and put it on, pulling my braid through the opening in back. No makeup, jeans, sweatshirt, and my favorite hat. No one in LA would ever recognize me like this. I smile. Exactly how I want it.
I sit on the couch waiting for Oliver to return. A few minutes later, he enters.
“Ready?”
I stand and smile. “I am.”
I follow him from my suite and through the living room.
“You look good like that,” he says, glancing at me.
“Thanks.”
We take the elevator to the bottom floor and when the lobby doors open, I’m blasted with cold air.
“Holy shit.”
Oliver laughs. “Cold front moved in last night.”
“I guess so.”
“This is nothing. It can get below zero here in the winter.”
“I guess that’s why they make hot chocolate.”
“Yeah, definitely.” He looks out to the street before him. “It’s possible I’ll be recognized. If that happens, just let me handle it.”
“Of course. I’ll keep my head down. I don’t want any pictures.”
“Right. So,” he smiles. “We’ll start by going to my favorite Italian market.”
“What are you making for dinner?”
“The only thing I know how to make. Baked ziti.”
I smile. “I like baked ziti.”
“Whew, that’s good. Otherwise it would be take-out.”
“That would be fine with me too.”
“I know. Let’s go.”
We head down the sidewalk several blocks until we get to a huge marketplace. I smile as we walk inside. “This place is incredible.”
“I know. It has everything you could want. Most of it’s local or imported directly from Italy.”
“I love it.”
“Let’s walks around. There’s a lot to see.”
We go from booth to booth looking at hundreds of varieties of pasta, wine, oil, cheeses, and meats. It’s overwhelming, but in the best way. I browse through the various items, and then realize we got separated. Looking up, I search the crowd for Oliver.
“You look lost,” a man says, next to me. I turn to look at his smiling face. “Do you need some help?”
“Um, I was with someone and I’m not sure where he is.”
“He? A boyfriend?”
“Oh, no. He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Ah.” He takes a step closer. “So you’re single?”
“Why?”
He grins. “Because if you are, I was gonna ask you out.”
“I see.”
“I’d love to take you to dinner, maybe go listen to some live music. Whatever you want.”
I study the man for a moment. He’s good looking, although more muscular than I typically prefer. This is the part where I say something smart, and then find a place to fuck, knowing that’s all he really wants anyway.
I feel a little anxiety rushing through me. Not because I want to have sex with him, but because I don’t.
“Can I get your name?" he asks.
“Um, uh.” I look up, smiling, realizing that he’s speaking to me. “I’m sorry, but I’m not free tonight. Or any night actually.”
“No? I’m not your type?”
“It’s not that. I’m just not available. My time is booked right now.”
“Ah, okay.” He opens his wallet and pulls out a card, handing it to me. “If you become available, the offer stands.”
I look down at the card. “Okay, Nate. Thanks.”
“My pleasure.”
He walks away and I look at the card for a moment, before turning around. Oliver is right behind me with a grin on his face.
“He asked you out?”
“Were you watching me?”
“Not all of it, but I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Yeah, he did.”
“How did you feel about it?”
“Weird. I could recognize how I would normally react in that situation.”
“Which is how?”
“Honestly?” He nods. “I would’ve suggested we find a place to hook up and just skip dinner.”
“And now?”
“I didn’t have any interest in it. I think if I wasn’t in therapy with you, I might have accepted his date, just to do it, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“But I would’ve been scared all night. Afraid he would make a pass, and I would give in, because that’s what I do. How do I get over the fear of that?”
“Well, you can’t control what someone else does. Some men wouldn’t dare try to sleep with you on a first date, and some will be planning it all night. All you can do is decide how you’re going to react.”
“Right.” I nod.
“Were you attracted to him?”
I shake my head slowly. “No.”
“Not all all?”
“Not at all. I was flattered, but I just wanted to find you.”
“Did you tell him you were with someone as a way out?”
“No. I told him I didn’t have availability right now.”
“Good.”
“Why is it good?”
“You didn’t use a cop out. You could’ve pretended I was your man, but you didn’t.”
“I’ve already pretended that enough in my head.”
Oliver smiles. “Let’s finish up here.”
Oliver purchases the items he needs for dinner and we walk back outside.
“Oh,” I say, looking around, grinning. “New York City. I kind of thought I was in Rome for a minute.”
“Right? It’s a great place.”
“It is.”
“Ready for a mind blowing cupcake?”
“Definitely.”
We walk several more blocks until Oliver is stopped by a man.
“Hey, man,” he says to Oliver. “How ya been?”
“Hey, Ed,” they shake hands and do that shoulder bump hug thing that men do. It’s the first time I’ve seen Oliver as just a normal guy and not the ultra stoic doctor “I’m good.”
“Yeah, I saw you on TV last week. I’ve been meaning to call and see if you want to play some ball.”
“I would. It’s been a while.”
Ed’s eyes linger on me clearly expecting an introduction. Oliver looks back at me and smiles.
“This is my friend. She’s visiting from out of town.”
“Oh yeah?” Ed says. “Where from?”
“California,” I reply.
“You must be freezing your ass off,” he says, laughing.
“I’m a little cold, yeah.”
“What was your name?” he asks.
“Jade,” I answer before Oliver can. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.” He looks back at Oliver. “I’ll give you a call soon. Good to see you, man.”
“Yeah, you too, Ed.”
We walk on and Oliver glances at me. “Jade?”
“It’s my middle name.”
“Kaia Jade, tha
t’s a damn sexy name, woman.”
“Yeah, I was teased relentlessly as a child that my parents gave me a pole name.”
“A pole name?”
“As in stripper pole.”
“Ah.” He nods. “That’s not the connotation that came to mind when I heard it.”
“Kids are dicks.”
He laughs. “That they are.”
“Are we close?”
“We are. It’s around the corner.”
We walk about another block and enter the cutest bakery. In front of me are cases of cupcakes.
“I can’t decide,” I say. “There are too many great choices.”
“My favorite is the salted caramel, but I’m also a fan of the Nutella cream.”
“Ooh, both sound good.”
“Why don’t we get both then and we’ll share them?”
I nod, grinning. “Yes.”
Oliver walks to the front while I find a table. A few minutes later, he appears with two cupcakes and two cups of hot chocolate.
“It’s not Rockefeller Plaza, but I hope it’ll do for now.”
“It’s great. Thank you.”
“Here, you first.” He lifts the salted caramel cupcake up to my mouth, and I take a bite. I close my eyes and just savor it, licking frosting from my lip.
“Oh man, that’s good,” I say, after swallowing my bite.
“Yeah,” he says, softly. “It’s good.”
“Good choice, Doctor. These are amazing.”
JUST LIKE SHE IS. I would pay money to watch her lick that frosting from her lips one more time. I look up as a store employee comes to our table.
“Everything good here?” she asks.
I nod. “Yeah, we’re good. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “If you don’t mind me saying, you two make a striking couple.”
Kaia’s eyes open wide in surprise while I just smile. “Thanks,” I say.
The employee walks away and Kaia shakes her head. “I thought New Yorkers were cold and kept to themselves.”
I laugh softly. “Stereotype. Just like all Californians aren't airheads.”
“Fair enough.” She looks up front and smiles.
“We do, don’t we?” I ask.
“What?”
“Look good together. Even though we’re not a real couple I’m really proud to take you out.”
“Thank you, Oliver.” She looks down, dragging her finger through frosting and then licking it off. “This is quite a treat. Walking around New York with a handsome doctor, indulging in decadent desserts. I have a pretty wicked sweet tooth.”
“The cupcake should hit the spot.”
“It does.”
“It’s nice to have a good dose of sugar sometimes. Glad I could be the one to give it you.”
“Are we still talking about cupcakes?” she asks softly.
“I’m not sure.”
She clears her throat and takes a sip of her hot chocolate. I’m losing my grip on reality, and I still have dinner plans with her tonight.
“Ready to go?” I ask, when she finishes.
“Sure.”
“I can call a cab.”
“No, we should walk. We just ate about a million calories.”
I smile. “Good point.” We stand and I take my scarf off and wrap it around her neck. “That will help.”
“Thank you.” She stares into my eyes, and I force myself to look away before I end up kissing her. I push the door open, and she passes me leaving behind the sensual scent of her perfume. Or maybe it's her shampoo. I don't know, but I know I want to smell it again.
We walk back quietly and turn the corner back to the apartment. Back inside, I walk her to her door and take her hand in mine.
“I had a great time today, Kaia. We’re still on for dinner tonight?”
She smiles, tilting her head. “Of course.”
“I guess I just wanted to ask again.”
“Is this what it feels like to be normal?”
“It feels good, doesn’t it?”
“It does.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“What should I wear?”
“Your prettiest dress. Did you bring one?”
She nods. “I did. Will you wear a suit?”
“Well, it is New York City. It’s practically required.”
“I like suits. Especially your suits.”
I smile. “I’ll see you at seven.”
“I’ll be ready.”
She walks in her room, and I take a deep breath. If that’s what it feels like to be normal, I want more.
AFTER MY BATH, I lie on my bed cooling off. In just an hour, I’ll be having dinner with Oliver. A real date. I smile as the truth sinks in. A make believe date, actually, but if that’s all I can have of him I’ll take it.
I stand and start to prepare for my date. Hair, makeup, all of it. I slide into the only pair of heels I brought, and then pull the little black dress over my head. After blow drying my hair, I run the flat iron through it, spritz with perfume, and finish my makeup. I hope he likes how I look tonight.
I walk into my bedroom and take a deep breath when I hear the knock on the door. I cross the room and open the door, smiling that it’s unlocked.
“Hello, Oliver.”
“Kaia.” He smiles. “You look amazing.”
My eyes run up and down his suited body. “So do you.”
He puts his arm out for me. “Ready?”
I nod. “Yes.”
We walk out to the living room where soft jazz music plays. Oliver leads me to the expansive dining room table, where candles are lit. He pulls the chair out for me, and I sit.
Next, he takes a seat beside me and fills our wine glasses. Lifting his glass he offers a toast.
“To first dates. However make believe they may be.”
I nod and clink his glass. After taking a sip, I put my glass down. “Thank you for doing this for me.”
“It’s not just for you.” He stands and disappears in the kitchen, leaving me stunned by his words and wondering what he meant by that.
He returns moments later with two plates.
“Your meal,” he says, setting it in front of me.
I inhale the aroma. “Smells great.”
“I hope you enjoy it.”
I take a bite and smile. “It’s good.”
“Thank you.”
I take another bite, watching him. “I’m really curious about what your life is like when I’m not here.”
“It’s the same. I swim. I work out. I eat. I work.”
“Do you date?”
“I haven’t in a while.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve been busy.”
I nod, pushing my pasta around to let the steam out. “So, I’m distracting you, aren’t I?”
“No. I’ll admit that I’m slightly uncomfortable with our um, intimate interactions, but at the same time, it feels good. If I was ever gonna have a fantasy date with a client, then I’m glad it’s you.”
I smile. “Me too.”
“What’s your life like in California?”
“I think you know that.”
“The rest of the time. How do you spend your days?”
I shrug. “I go the gym. I eat. I hang out with friends. Or I should say people who call themselves friends. I spend a lot of time alone.”
“By choice?”
“Yeah. It’s easier that way.”
“Are you lonely?”
“I wasn’t until I got here, till the Band-Aid came off. Now I’m just a gaping wound.”
“No, you’re not. You’re a little raw right now. A little vulnerable, but nothing that can’t be healed with time.”
I nod. “I hope so.”
“I didn’t mean to make you sad.” He smiles. “We should be having fun on our date.”
“I am, Oliver. Trust me.”
He smiles and rubs my hand. I take another bite of pasta t
o avoid his eyes. We eat quietly for a while, unspoken words clogging the air between us.
“I have a surprise for you,” he says, as he clears my plate.
“What?”
“I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
He returns from the kitchen and extends his hand. “Part two of the date. Dancing.”
“Dancing?”
“Mmm hmm. I know just the place. This quiet little jazz bar a short walk from here.” I grin as he leads me to the living room and pulls me into his arms. “How’s this?”
“It’s perfect.” I lay my head on his shoulder as he sways to the music. He smells good. He feels good. I close my eyes, reminding myself that this isn’t real. The song ends and he steps back, gazing into my eyes.
“Is this our first date or our second one?” I ask.
“I’m not sure. “Why?”
“Because if it’s the second then maybe you’ll kiss me.”
Oliver cups my face. “I can’t.”
I nod. “I’m sorry. I forgot it was make-believe for a minute.”
“So did I.”
“Maybe I should go to my room now.”
“That’s probably a good idea before I can’t be your doctor anymore.”
“Okay.” I start to walk away, but turn back. “It was a really nice evening.”
“I’ll walk you to your door. That’s what gentlemen do.”
We walk down the hall to my room. “Goodnight, Oliver. Thank you again.”
He smiles as his eyes search mine. “Maybe we could forget again for just a minute. After all, a great date deserves a great kiss.”
“I’d like that,” I say, stepping towards him. He pulls me into his arms and brushes his lips over mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, tickling the back of his neck. When I feel the warmth of his tongue tangling with mine, I sigh. We kiss like this for days, or at least that’s what it feels like. When he releases me, my breathing is labored.
He caresses my cheek. “That was a great kiss.”
“I knew it would be.”
“So did I.” He smiles. “Goodnight, sweet Kaia.”
“Goodnight, Oliver.”
I go inside my room and lean against the door with the biggest smile on my face.
IN MY ROOM, I watch her undress and slide under her blankets. She rolls over to her side, gazing out the window as she does. I turn off the screen and then climb into my own bed. Tonight was amazing, but tomorrow I have to get it together. She’s not mine to romance.
Break Me Down Page 11
