The Ultimate Betrayal

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

“I know you mentioned starting a business, and I think that will be good for you.”

  “It’ll be good for us.”

  Alicia stared at him but didn’t respond.

  “I’m serious. I’m opening an upscale restaurant just like I told you. I’m also planning to buy a home not too far from it, and I was hoping you would help me look. You know, once I decide on the restaurant location.”

  Alicia sighed. “Look, I won’t lie to you. I am in love with you, and I do wish I could be with you…the right way, but I can’t. I’m still marrying Phillip, Levi.”

  “Baby, how long are you going to keep this up?”

  “What?”

  “This fantasy you’re living. You’re not in love with that man, but you’re going to marry him?”

  “I know you don’t understand, but this is the only way.”

  “But why?”

  “I owe him. Plus, Phillip has been there for me. I mean, how could I walk away from a man I treated so badly when he took me back and forgave me for everything? We hadn’t been married a year when I started sleeping around on him with you. I never even gave our marriage a chance, and it wasn’t like Phillip had done anything wrong in the first place. He’s a good man who has always loved me.”

  “But none of that matters, because you’re not in love with him.”

  “But the other thing, too, is my father, the rest of my family, and the church. Things have been going great, and I just don’t have it in me to cause another scandal. If I called things off with Phillip and married you, we would never hear the end of it. Every media outlet locally and around the country will be reporting on Pastor Black’s daughter and how she married a drug dealer.”

  “But I’m not a drug dealer. Not anymore.”

  “It won’t matter. Everyone will still see you as being one, no matter what you say. Maybe years down the road, people will see that you’ve honestly changed, and they’ll stop talking. But even then, some people will start talking about how you used to be a drug dealer, how you did time in prison, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It’ll never end.”

  “Baby, we all make mistakes, and if God has forgiven me, so should everyone else.”

  “But they won’t.”

  “So you’re more worried about gossip than you are about being happy? You’re more focused on other people’s opinions?”

  “No, I’m just being real.”

  “What you’re trying to do is be logical. You’re worried about everyone else and not about you and me. Baby, life is too short to live the rest of our days unhappy, and that’s exactly what you’ll be forcing us to do if you marry that man.”

  Alicia looked away from him and toward the ceiling. “You just don’t get it. You never will.”

  “You’re right. Not when you’re saying you want to walk away from me for good.”

  “This isn’t about what I want; it’s what I have to do.”

  “You’re really starting to frustrate me,” he said. “This junk is painful.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, looking at him again.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Even if you marry him, do you really think you’ll be able to stop seeing me? Making love to me?”

  “I do. I know you might not believe that, but I won’t commit adultery again.”

  Levi turned over on his back and laughed. “You never cease to amaze me.”

  “I’m serious.”

  He glanced over at her, but his smile vanished. “Sweetheart, what you and I have is forever. You can get married and even move to another country. But I’m the only man you’ll ever love.”

  Alicia sat up, preparing to swing her legs over the side of the bed. But Levi pulled her back down and lay on top of her.

  Alicia tried to push him away. “Levi, please stop. I have to go.”

  Levi kissed her and didn’t say a word.

  Alicia could no longer think of anything to say, either, and before long, she surrendered. She loved every bit of what he was doing to her, and sadly, she feared Levi was right. What if he actually was the only man she could ever love? What if no other man, including Phillip, could ever make her feel the way Levi was making her feel at this very moment?

  She couldn’t worry about that now, though. Not when Levi was giving her everything she needed—all the beautiful love and intense pleasure she wanted so desperately.

  He gave her what she’d been missing for far too many years.

  Chapter 18

  Melanie pumped her arms back and forth, breathing in and out. It was shortly after six in the evening, and she’d been power walking on the treadmill for forty minutes. She was sweating heavily, her heart rate averaged 165, and she was planning to keep it that way for as long as she could. This wouldn’t be hard to do as long as she continued her current pace of 4.8 miles per hour. Melanie also loved how exhilarating it felt when her body released endorphins, and the euphoria alone was reason enough to work out more than once a day.

  Melanie lifted the cold bottle of water from the cup holder, took a couple of swigs, and set it back down. Then she picked up the TV selector from the other drink slot, flipped through a few channels, and settled on a rerun of Good Times. James and Florida Evans loved and encouraged all three of their children, and while Melanie always enjoyed watching them, there were times when the show made her sad. And rightfully so, given that her own parents had been just the opposite. It was true that Melanie hadn’t lived in poverty the way the children on the show had, but Thelma, Michael, and J.J. had still been blessed with a more loving household.

  Melanie watched more of the Good Times episode and then increased the incline of the treadmill. That way she’d be able to burn more calories. But as she worked harder on her uphill climb and watched more laughter and happy times among the Evanses, a fusion of sweat and depressing tears poured down her face. Maybe she was as messed up as Brad had said she was, and she actually did need professional help. She’d been raised in so much dysfunction, she’d buried most of it in the back of her mind, and she had to think hard just to remember certain events. But for some reason, she suddenly thought about a number of terrible things that had gone on in her parents’ household—certain things she’d never told another living soul, except Alicia.

  Like, for instance, there was the time she’d heard her mother telling her father that what he needed to do was take a class or something, because his sexual skills were just plain pathetic. Then, to add insult to injury, she’d told him that she needed a man who was packing something a lot bigger than he was carrying. She needed someone who knew how to make her scream. Melanie remembered how at seven years old she hadn’t known everything, but she’d known exactly what that had meant. It wasn’t long after that when her parents had become swingers. Sometimes they had gone to a swingers club, sometimes to another couple’s home, and sometimes they’d invited another couple to their own house. Whenever they did this, they sent Melanie to her room and told her to stay there until they said she could come out. Or they told her she could go spend the night with a friend. Sometimes when Melanie stayed home, however, she would crack her door open, sneak down the stairs to their lower level, and see things she shouldn’t have. But until this day, her parents didn’t know that.

  Melanie’s eyes filled with tears again. Her childhood had been beyond disturbing, as her parents would fuss, cuss, and physically fight whenever they got drunk enough. But finally, right before she’d started high school, things had changed. Her dad had been in a near-fatal car accident, her parents had become closer, and they’d stopped arguing, fighting, and swinging for good. Melanie hadn’t understood how they could make such a drastic turnaround in the way they felt about each other, but she’d once heard her mother telling a friend that she’d never fully appreciated her husband until she thought she was going to lose him. Then, not long after her dad had been released from a two-month hospital stay, he’d realized how short life was and that all he wanted was t
o be at peace. What this had basically meant was that her father had made up his mind to go along with whatever her mother said or did. He never disagreed with her, and life was good for them. It was almost as if he no longer had an opinion about anything, not even Melanie’s weight. They’d also become “devout Christians,” as her mother tended to say, yet she judged, belittled, and made Melanie feel bad every chance she got. It was the reason Melanie had wished all her life that she’d had different parents, and, she was ashamed to say, she still felt the same today.

  What was also interesting was how her mother never treated Melanie badly in front of Brad, Alicia, or anyone else she knew. She had, of course, made a few snide comments about Melanie’s weight in front of them, but she never spoke rudely or as harshly to Melanie as she did when they weren’t around. She acted as though she and Melanie had the best mother-daughter relationship, and like she was the kindest person on Earth. What was sadder was that Melanie had always led Alicia to believe that was true. When Alicia said things such as, “Mel, your parents are the ideal couple” or “Mel, your parents are the kind of people to look up to,” Melanie agreed with her, and she sometimes told Alicia she was proud to call them her parents. She wasn’t sure why, but she just couldn’t admit to anyone, not even her best friend, that her parents basically just lived together and her mother couldn’t stand her own daughter.

  Melanie heard the home phone ringing but kept up her pace on the treadmill. She wasn’t about to stop her workout when she was this close to the end, so whoever was calling would have to try back. But as she continued her stride, the home phone rang again. Still Melanie didn’t answer it. She wondered who it could be, especially with them calling back, and it wasn’t until the phone rang a third time that she paused the treadmill. She stepped off and ran to answer it, but when she saw her mother’s number she rolled her eyes.

  “Hello?” she said, practically out of breath.

  “Where are you?” her mother yelled. “I’ve been calling both your phones over and over.”

  “I was on the treadmill, and my cell is upstairs.”

  “Well, you need to get over to the hospital. Your dad was doubled over with chest pains, and I’m following him in the ambulance now.”

  “Oh no. Which hospital?”

  “Mitchell Memorial.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  Chapter 19

  Melanie rushed inside the hospital. While she’d witnessed hundreds of medical emergencies at this very location when she’d worked there, she’d never felt as worried or nervous as she did now.

  She hurried toward the reception area, but as she looked toward the family waiting room, she saw her mother and her mother’s snooty friend Freda.

  Melanie walked over to her mom and sat in the chair next to her. “Have you heard anything? Has the doctor been out yet?”

  “No, all they keep saying is that they’re working on him.”

  “What happened exactly?”

  “Your dad had been complaining of indigestion all day, so he finally took some antacids.”

  “Has he had problems with that before?”

  “Not until the last few days, and that’s only because he’s been eating pork skins left and right. I told him to cut it out, and that’s why I’d been upset with him over the last couple of weeks. But then yesterday and today he didn’t go buy any.”

  Melanie sure hoped this wasn’t the reason her mom had been so mad at him she hadn’t been planning to celebrate Father’s Day. This morning, she’d told Melanie that she’d gotten over it, and this was when she’d called her to see if they were going to dinner on Sunday. Although, when it came to eating fattening junk food, her mother could hold grudges against anyone. It angered her to a point of insanity, and it likely hadn’t helped that Melanie’s dad wasn’t as slim as he used to be. He wasn’t severely overweight, but his body wasn’t as taut as it had been a couple of years ago, and his stomach hung over his belt.

  “What time did the indigestion start?” Melanie asked.

  “Late morning, I guess. It was a couple of hours or so after I called you.”

  “And what about his chest pains?”

  “Not until this afternoon, but then they seemed to go away. Until this evening, and that’s when he was doubled over, sweating, trying to catch his breath and holding his left arm.”

  “Was he conscious when the ambulance came?”

  “Barely.”

  Melanie didn’t tell her mother what she was thinking, because no matter how little her mother minded hurting Melanie’s feelings, she didn’t want to upset Gladys any more than she had to. Still, she knew that none of what she’d just heard was a good sign. Her father might have had a heart attack, and maybe blocked arteries were involved. Which meant that by now, they’d likely given him nitroglycerin and heparin. The first would relax his blood vessels and the second would prevent blood clotting. She had so many thoughts and questions, and if she could, she would make her way back to her dad’s room and take control of the situation. This was how every medical professional felt when someone they loved was in crisis.

  “Do you think it was definitely a heart attack?” her mother asked.

  “I don’t know. It’s hard to say.”

  “But do you think he had a heart attack? That’s all I’m asking, Mel.”

  “I honestly don’t know for sure. We’ll have to wait until we hear more.”

  Freda, who was sitting on the other side of Gladys, leaned forward and raised her eyebrows at Melanie. “You went and got all that schooling, and you can’t tell your mother anything?”

  Melanie swallowed and took a deep breath, because the last thing she wanted to do was disrespect her mother’s friend. “First of all, I’m not a cardiologist, and secondly, I wasn’t there when my dad was having all those symptoms. And I don’t want to guess just to be guessing.”

  Freda leaned back in her chair. “Hmmph.”

  Melanie knew it would be too much to hope that her mother would tell her friend that she had no right speaking to her daughter that way. And knowing Gladys, she was enjoying every bit of it. Freda had never liked Melanie, and she knew it was because Freda felt as though Melanie didn’t visit her parents often enough. Of course, she was sure Freda had no idea what Melanie’s true relationship was with her parents, but even if she had, it wouldn’t give her the right to say anything out of the way to Melanie.

  They sat and waited another half hour, and Melanie could tell her mother was a wreck. She wore the same look of terror she’d had on her face the night Melanie’s dad had been in that car accident. That had been a long time ago, but Melanie had never forgotten how frightened her mother had been. Probably because Gladys had never seemed afraid of anything before or since then.

  “I just don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to Andrew,” Gladys said, sniffling.

  Freda pulled a couple of tissues from her purse and passed them to her. “Andrew is going to be fine. God is going to see to it.”

  Gladys patted tears from her eyes and the sides of her cheeks. “I told him to stop eating all that junk, but he just wouldn’t listen.”

  Melanie knew there was a chance her mother might be right, but did everything always have to be about food? Food, food, and more food. Her mother was obsessed.

  They sat for a few more minutes, and Melanie prayed her father would be okay. She also wished she could take back what she’d been thinking while watching Good Times. That after all these years, she still wished she had different parents.

  Melanie stood up. “I’ll be right back, Mom.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “To make a couple of calls.”

  Melanie walked outside the ER entrance and dialed Alicia. She’d already called Brad when she was driving to the hospital, and he’d told her he would be on his way very soon.

  Alicia’s phone rang until it went to voice mail. Last night at Bible study, Alicia had mentioned something about having to read through the res
t of her manuscript, so maybe she wasn’t finished yet.

  “Hey, Alicia, it’s Mel. My dad was rushed to the hospital, and it sounds like he may have had a heart attack. We don’t know anything for sure, but I wanted to let you know. Call me as soon as you can. We’re at Mitchell Memorial. Love you. Bye.”

  Melanie went back inside, and after another half hour, the silver-headed cardiologist, Dr. Daniels, introduced himself and led Melanie, her mother, and Freda into a smaller and more private family room.

  “Well, Mrs. Johnson,” he said. “It’s a good thing I hadn’t left the hospital yet, because your husband definitely had a heart attack, and he needs a quadruple bypass. The angiogram confirmed it.”

  Melanie’s stomach tied in knots, and her mother and Freda gasped at the same time. Melanie had feared the worst, and it was.

  “Your husband is a very sick man, but we’re going to do the absolute best we can for him. We have him stabilized, and we’d like to get him prepped so we can get started as soon as possible.”

  “Is he awake?” Melanie asked. “Would it be possible for us to see him for a couple of minutes?”

  “Actually, he’s been asking for ‘his’ Melanie already. That’s how I know you’re a nurse practitioner. He told me you used to work here, and he’s very proud of that. We don’t want him talking and moving around a lot, but if you’ll follow me, I’ll take you back to see him.”

  Melanie had never heard her father refer to her in such an endearing way, and she was confused by it.

  “I’ll just wait out here,” Freda said, and Melanie and her mother trailed behind Dr. Daniels.

  Once inside the ER patient area, they walked down a ways and then went inside Andrew’s room. He was hooked up to all the normal equipment. An IV, blood pressure and heart rate monitors, and a pulse oximeter to measure oxygen saturation. His nurse, a thirtysomething woman with black hair, stepped away from the bed so that Gladys could move closer.

  “Andrew, can you hear me?”

  Andrew opened his eyes, staring at Gladys for a few seconds, and then he turned his head until he saw Melanie at the foot of his bed. He looked back at Gladys and then at Melanie again. Andrew coughed and said, “Mel, I need you to come closer.”