Book Read Free

I Like You

Page 19

by Amy Sedaris


  Beat eggs. Add flour gradually. Add milk, olive oil, and salt, stirring with a fork. Smooth batter. Don’t over-beat. Cook 24 –28 5" crêpes. Cover in wax paper. Store in refrigerator. Don’t freeze. Can make several days in advance.

  RICOTTA FILLING:

  1 pound ricotta cheese

  ¼ cup Parmesan cheese

  1 egg, beaten

  ¼ cup parsley, finely chopped

  Dash salt

  Beat ricotta. Add parsley, salt, and cheese. Add beaten egg. Blend thoroughly.

  TO ASSEMBLE:

  Spread thin layer of marinara sauce in baking dish. Fill the middle crêpe with generous tablespoon of filling. Roll like jelly roll. Place seam down in baking dish. Cover with light layer of sauce. Bake 350 degrees for about 20 minutes.

  Top with grated Parmesan cheese. Serve with very hot marinara sauce on side.

  SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS

  MEATBALLS:

  2/3 cup breadcrumbs

  ¼ cup milk

  1 onion

  Olive oil

  ½ pounds beef

  1 egg

  5 tablespoons Parmesan cheese 2 tablespoons parsley

  2 garlic cloves, crushed

  Salt and pepper

  Soak breadcrumbs and milk together. Set aside. Sauté onion in the olive oil. In a large bowl combine onion, breadcrumbs, and all the ingredients. Shape into balls. Cover bottom of large skillet with olive oil. Heat until hot. Cook meatballs, turning occasionally till they are brown.

  MARINARA SAUCE:

  1 onion, minced

  3 garlic cloves, minced

  ½ cup olive oil

  2 cans crushed tomatoes

  Pinch sugar

  Salt and pepper

  Optional: ½ cup red wine

  Sauté garlic and onion in oil. Stir in tomatoes, sugar, salt and pepper and optional red wine.

  Cook 25 minutes.

  GREEK SPAGHETTI

  Sauté 1 chopped onion, 2 garlic crushed cloves, and 1 chicken bouillon cube (optional).

  Add basil, oregano, 2 large cans of crushed tomatoes, salt and pepper, some parsley, and some mint.

  Cover and simmer for about 30 minutes. Add ½ cup grated Parmesan cheese. Continue cooking for about 15 minutes or so. After you have boiled your spaghetti and drained it, add it to the sauce.

  Brown a stick of butter (be sure not to burn it, so keep your eye on it) and pour the sizzling butter over the sauce and spaghetti, tossing well. Serve with chicken or pork chops on the side. When making Greek meatballs it’s pretty much like traditional ones, only you add mint.

  DINNER DELUXE “I GOT A RAISE” TENDERLOIN

  Serves 6.

  Get about 2-½ pounds beef tenderloin.

  This kind of beef costs a lot of money.

  450-degree oven.

  You will need an oven-safe skillet pan.

  On stove add a little fat (oil or butter) to pan.

  Take your trussed beef and aggressively salt and pepper it. When your pan starts to smoke a little, sear the beef on all 4 sides—you’ll want to sear the presentation side first.

  Put about 3 pats of butter on top of roast and put right in oven.

  For a 2-½ pound roast, cook for about 20 minutes if you desire medium-rare temperature.

  Another option: Place room-temperature meat in an open shallow pan.

  Dot with butter or brush oil on top or ask your butcher to tie salt pork or strips of beef fat on top of your roast. Toss some sprigs of rosemary on top. Cook in 500-degree oven for 10 minutes, then turn oven to 350 degrees and cook for 20 minutes.

  Korean Korner

  CATHY CAMPER’S ASPARAGUS MACARONI

  In 2 tablespoons of olive oil, sauté 3–5 cut-up cloves of garlic and some red pepper flakes. The more pepper flakes you add the hotter it will be. Cut a bunch of asparagus into 1-inch pieces. Add to the hot oil and sauté until tender, about 3–5 minutes. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve over penne. Sprinkle some Parmesan or Asiago cheese over the top.

  MINNIE’S KOREAN STYLE PANCAKES (BIN DA DOG)

  Basically put 2 eggs in a bowl with some water and flour so it looks like pancake batter. Get whatever you need to out of your refrigerator, like eggplant, peppers, tomatoes, onion, carrots, whatever.

  Put that in a frying pan with a little oil or butter to sauté. Pour batter over vegetables. Flip like a pancake when done on one side. Serve with soy sauce with white vinegar.

  SPRING SOIREE ROAST LEMON LEG OF LAMB

  Lamb

  Garlic

  Salt and pepper

  Olive oil

  Butter

  Oregano

  Lemon juice

  Optional: potatoes

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

  Take a 4-pound leg of lamb and cut small slits all over the surface. Insert slivers of garlic cloves. Rub the entire leg with a combination of lemon juice and salt and pepper. Add olive oil and oregano on top and cook for 1 hour. After an hour add some hot water to the pan and top leg of lamb with about 3 tablespoons of butter. Continue cooking for another hour or less.

  In the last hour you could add some potatoes to the pan. Just quarter your potatoes and mix with a little lemon juice, oregano, and oil and toss into pan.

  BULGOGI (KOREAN FOR “SUNNY THE LION”)

  5–6 pounds of beef ribs or thinly sliced beef

  2 crushed garlic cloves

  1 cup of green onions

  1½ tsp. of pepper

  3 tsp. of sesame oil

  2 cups of soy sauce

  ½ cup of sugar (sugar softens the beef)

  Mix garlic, sesame oil, green onions, pepper, soy sauce, sugar in a bowl. Add your beef and coat well, marinate overnight.

  Barbecue it somehow.

  SMITHFIELD HAM

  1) Scrub ham and soak in water for 6 hours.

  2) Place ham in a tightly covered roaster on a rack with 1 quart of cold water in the bottom.

  3) Place in cold oven. Turn oven to 500 and start timing. Cook 1 minute for each pound.

  4) Turn oven off.

  5) DO NOT OPEN OVEN.

  6) Leave in oven for 3 hours.

  7) Put oven back on at 500 and cook 1 minute per pound again.

  8) Turn the oven off, do not open.

  9) Leave it overnight.

  10) Skin the ham, cover with brown sugar and cloves. Put back in 500-degree oven and bake until brown.

  PIGLET’S CHEESE POTATOES, GREAT WITH HAM

  2 T butter

  2 T flour

  1 cup milk

  Salt and pepper

  1 pound potatoes

  ½ cup grated Cheddar cheese

  Pinch cayenne pepper

  Paprika

  Boil potatoes, peel and cut into cubes.

  Melt butter in saucepan.

  Stir in flour, milk, and salt and pepper. Add cheese. Stir until melted. In the last 2 minutes add cayenne pepper.

  Mix cheese sauce and potatoes. Put extra cheese on top, sprinkle on some paprika.

  Bake. I don’t know at what temperature or for how long.

  GYPSY SKIRT STEAK

  Steal some skirt steaks.

  Slice thin and rub outside with a little olive oil, salt and pepper.

  Place on open fire, turning occasionally. Cook long enough for desired temperature. You will need tongs for this.

  BLT

  Bacon

  Sliced tomatoes

  Arugula

  Mayonnaise

  Salt and pepper

  Toasted bread of choice

  Spread mayonnaise on one side of both slices of toast. Lay your bacon down and top with arugula, then tomato. Salt and pepper to taste. Top with other slice of toast.

  JEAN’S BACK POCKET CHICKEN

  Go to your butcher and ask him for 4 chicken breasts. Ask him to design a pocket by putting a 3-inch cut into the thickest side.

  In a bowl combine ¾ cup of goat cheese with 1 tablespoon each of chives, parsley, basil, and “king of herbs” French tarr
agon. Mix this with 1½ tablespoons of olive oil and salt and pepper to taste.

  Stuff each chicken breast by putting about a spoon of the cheese mixture in its pocket (use your fingers to work it in) and close each pocket with a toothpick.

  Salt and pepper and set aside in refrigerator for at least an hour.

  Melt 1½ tablespoons of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a skillet. Place chicken breasts skin side down in pan and sauté until tanned. Flip over once. Cook each side about 6 to 7 minutes.

  Serve with toothpick in or out, depending on who you are serving.

  LAMB WITH ORZO, TAVERN STYLE (GIOUVETSI)

  2 T butter

  2 lb. boneless lamb leg cut into 1-½ inches (or use shanks)

  1 chopped onion

  2 minced garlic cloves

  Salt and pepper

  ½ cup dry white wine

  1 T tomato paste

  3 cups meat stock

  12 oz. orzo

  Melt butter in large flameproof casserole or roasting pan. Add meat, onion, and garlic until coated with butter. Season with salt and pepper.

  Place in 450? oven and roast for 20 minutes or until meat is browned. Reduce temperature to 325?, add wine, tomato paste, and 1 cup stock. Continue baking for 40 minutes or longer.

  Add remaining stock to pan juices. Meanwhile, parboil orzo in a large amount of boiling salted water for 5 minutes. Drain well and add to the sauce in the roasting pan. Stir, and continue baking for 30 minutes, or until orzo is al dente and the meat is tender. Serve meat and orzo. Sprinkle with some cheese.

  From Greek Cooking by Lou Seibert Pappas.

  TOOTHPICK CHICKEN ROLLS IN PAN

  Take 1 chicken breast, pounded out. Sprinkle on parsley, salt, pepper and some breadcrumbs. Put some cream cheese, Cheddar cheese, and mozzarella cheese, on top of breadcrumbs.

  Roll it tight, roll it in flour, then egg and bread-crumbs. Insert a toothpick through it and gently fry in oil or butter in a pan on the stove.

  POT ROAST FOR JACK BLACK

  3-½ lb. chuck or bottom round beef

  1 T vegetable oil

  1 large onion, chopped fine

  4 cloves garlic, chopped fine

  ¾ can chopped tomatoes

  ¼ cup red wine

  1 T brown sugar

  2 bay leaves

  2-½ cups of water

  3 large carrots, cut into chunks

  1 lb small potatoes, peeled

  1-¾ T cornstarch

  Salt and pepper

  Parsley

  Sear the meat on all sides in the vegetable oil in a Dutch oven. Transfer meat to a plate. Add the onion and garlic to Dutch oven, cook over moderate heat until onion is translucent. Add tomatoes, red wine, sugar, bay leaves, and water. Bring to boil. Add beef, carrots, and potatoes. Cover and place in a preheated 350-degree oven. Cook for 2-½ hours or until done, adding some boiling water if needed. Transfer beef to a cutting board and let rest for 10 minutes. Add some boiling water to cornstarch and add to vegetables and gravy, stirring to a smooth consistency. Discard bay leaf, add salt and pepper to taste. Slice beef and serve with vegetables and gravy spooned over it. Garnish with chopped parsley.

  WHAT’S YOUR BEEF, STEW?

  1½ cups of flour

  Salt and pepper

  ½ t of paprika

  1 lb of chuck, cubed (size of an ice cube)

  2 T of oil

  1 sliced onion

  3 potatoes cut in half

  5 carrots

  5 onions

  Put the flour, salt and pepper, and paprika in a brown lunch bag. Add beef cubes and shake.

  Heat the oil in a heavy pan and sauté the sliced onion.

  Shake off excess flour from meat and brown on all sides.

  Add enough boiling water to cover the meat. Cover the pan and simmer for 1½ hours. Add the vegetables along with some more water, but only if it needs it. Cover and cook for another 45 minutes until everything is tender.

  Serve on top of egg noodles or rice.

  CHIPPED BEEF

  1 jar Armour sliced dried beef

  2 tablespoons butter

  2½ tablespoons Wondra flour or all-purpose flour

  2½ cups whole milk

  Salt and black pepper to taste

  8 slices white bread

  Cut ¼ inch strips of the beef. Put aside for later.

  In a large sauté pan, melt butter and add in the flour, mashing down with a fork to incorporate. Cook this mixture approximately 2 minutes. Slowly add in milk, continuing to incorporate with the fork or using a wisk, so there are not too many lumps. Sprinkle in sliced beef and season with salt and pepper to taste. Allow to thicken on low heat for 5 minutes.

  Place two slices of toasted bread on a plate and ladle a good amount of the creamed chipped beef on top of the slices. You will need a knife and fork. Delicious.

  Courtesy of Mary Redding.

  TOSINO’S GUACAMOLE

  2 avocados (mash with fork)

  Chopped fresh coriander (a couple of pinches)

  Minced or chopped hot green jalapeño chili (seeded)

  Juice of 1 lime

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Chips

  Serve with chips. Rapido, una más!!

  SARAH THYRE’S OXTAIL RAGOUT

  1 lb. oxtails

  Sea salt and pepper

  1 tbsp. olive oil

  1 medium onion,

  diced 2 carrots, diced

  2 ribs celery, diced

  3 cloves garlic, minced

  2 tbsp. tomato paste

  1½ cups red wine

  1 28-oz. can San Marzano whole, peeled tomatoes in juice

  1 sprig fresh rosemary (optional)

  1 lb. pappardelle pasta (wide, flat ribbons)

  1. Rinse oxtails, pat dry, and salt and pepper generously. Heat olive oil in heavy braising pan over medium-high heat. Add oxtails and brown on every side, about ten minutes. Remove oxtails to a platter.

  2. Drain off most of the fat from the pan (retain 1–2 tbsp). Lower heat to medium. Add onion, carrot, and celery to pan. Sauté until almost soft, about 15 minutes, stirring often. Add garlic and sauté three more minutes. Add tomato paste and sauté for a few more minutes, stirring until thickened. Add the red wine and scrape the bottom and sides of the pan. Continue simmering for five minutes, stirring often.

  3. Add tomatoes to the pan, crushing them with your hands as you do. Put the oxtails back in the pan, burying them in the sauce. Add rosemary sprig, if desired. Add salt and pepper to taste. Turn the heat down wayyyyy low and let simmer, covered, for at least 1½ hours, or up to 3 hours, stirring occasionally.

  4. Remove the oxtails from the sauce and allow to cool slightly. Using your fingers, pull all the meat off the bones and place back in the sauce.

  5. For a fancy restaurant-style sauce, use a hand mixer to lightly pulse through the sauce. Or just leave it messy and chunky. Serve it over al dente pappardelle.

  FRENCH DRESSING

  ½ cup oil

  ¼ cup sugar

  1/3 cup ketchup

  ¼ cup vinegar

  ½ teaspoon salt

  Pinch dry mustard

  ½ teaspoon paprika

  Juice ½ lemon

  Pinch pepper

  Beat together, put in jar with ½ onion if desired.

  Je M’appèlle French Night

  JULIUS CAESAR SALAD

  In a blender, crack 2 eggs. Blend with 2½ tablespoons of fresh lemon juice. Add 1 whole crushed garlic clove, 6 minced anchovies (optional), a couple dashes of Worcestershire sauce. Add fresh salt and pepper to taste. While mixing, add ¼ to ½ cup of red wine vinegar. Pour either a very light olive oil or a salad oil in the blender and beat until it all reaches the lid of the blender.

  Pour dressing over romaine lettuce (about a head), top with garlic croutons, and ¾ cup of freshly grated Parmesan or pecorino cheese. (It’s always classy to rub the inside of the bowl with fresh garlic.)

  TANGY BLUE CHEESE DRES
SING

  1 cup mayonnaise

  ½ cup sour cream

  2 T. wine vinegar (or less)

  2 T. chopped green onions and tops

  1 T. lemon juice

  ¼ lb. blue cheese, crumbled

  1 small crushed

  garlic clove

  ¼ cup chopped parsley

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Mix well. Dress salad.

  GARLIC CROUTONS

  Melt ½ stick butter with 3 to 4 peeled garlic cloves in a saucepan, until garlic is lightly tanned. Remove the garlic and toss the butter mixture on cubed pieces of country bread. Bake on a cookie sheet in the oven at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Top with a little salt and pepper. Leave in the bowl and cover until you need it.

  ITALIAN DRESSING

  ¼ C olive oil

  ¼ C red wine vinegar

  2 teaspoons of oregano

  Juice of 1 lemon

  Salt and pepper to taste

  Combine all ingredients and mix with beater.

  BASIC GREEN SALAD

  Tear your salad greens into bite-size pieces.

  You can toss in any vegetable, such as tomatoes, onions, radishes, cucumbers, green peppers, carrots, celery, scallions, mushrooms, olives, corn, avocodos, small cauliflower or broccoli, or any bean, such as garbanzo or kidney. You can add any crumbled cheese and croutons if desired.

  Right before serving and no sooner (to prevent sogginess) toss your salad with any salad dressing.

  LAMB CHOP MARINADE

  1 tsp. fresh rosemary

  1 clove garlic

  2 tbsp. olive oil

  4 lamb chops

  1 tbsp. lemon juice

  Salt and pepper

  Combine all these ingredients and pour over your chops. Marinate for 3 hours. Then broil.

  AWARD-WINNING TUNA FISH FOR PHIL HOFFMAN

  Mix together 1 can of award-winning tuna, drained and rung out, 2 teaspoons of finely chopped celery, 1 teaspoon of sweet relish (optional), 1 ½ teaspoons of thinly chopped red or green onion, a squirt of fresh lemon, 1 ½ tablespoons of mayonnaise, ½ a hardboiled egg, chopped (optional). Season with salt and fresh pepper. You can eyeball all these ingredients. To me the secret is getting all the water or oil out of the can of tuna.

  VINAIGRETTE DRESSING

  ½ tablespoon finely chopped shallots

  ½ tablespoon Dijon mustard

  ½ tablespoon wine vinegar

  ¼ cup olive oil

  Combine ingredients and blend.

  COLESLAW OF THE DUNES

  Mix together:

  1 small head green cabbage, shredded

 

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