Never Let Me Go

by McAvoy, J. J. ;

  “It wasn’t my place—”

  “Yes, it was. You knew how I feel about him, Rafael. I’ve loved him for nine years. I became an assistant. Me, a Harvard grad, and former head of the Zeta Phi’s, with three other jobs lined up. You should have said—”

  “I did!” I yelled back. “I told you. I promised if you didn’t let go of your feelings for him, Dorian would only keep hurting you. You didn’t listen. You kept picking out wedding dresses in your mind and wondering how Goldie Rhys-Gallagher would look on your door.”

  “I never said—”

  “Oh please, you were in so deep I’m sure you even got monogrammed towels in your daydreams.”

  She didn’t say anything.

  “Goldie!” Jesus, how far did her delusion go? He didn’t love her, and he was pretty damn clear about it.

  She brushed her hair behind her ears. “This doesn’t make sense … that boy was maybe six—”

  “Five,” I said, and she glared.

  “When? Who the hell was she? At first I thought he couldn’t possibly be Dorian’s, but then I saw them together. He looks just like him. Besides, Dorian would have gotten a DNA test. The Dorian Rhys-Gallagher I know is a workaholic. I’ve never seen him with a woman, and now all of a sudden he has a son? None of this makes sense.”

  “Goldie.” I held on to her shoulders. “Just because you haven’t seen him with a woman doesn’t mean he’s not been with one. You know he keeps his personal life private. He doesn’t open up to people.”

  “He is with her.” Tears built in her eyes. “I saw it. He looked at me like…like I was his personal assistant, but when his attention shifted to her, it was a side of him I’d never seen before. They looked so good, like this poster of the perfect family. All happy and pretty. She’s pretty, Rafael… No, she’s beautiful, with long wavy hair, great legs, and sexy exotic-looking eyes. Is she a model? Is that how they met? What happens to me now?”

  Everyone thought they knew Goldie, that she was some heartless bitch. But she was as insecure as everyone else. Dorian didn’t love her, and that wasn’t his fault. She loved him and that wasn’t her fault. We couldn’t help that the world was messy, and as friend I couldn’t do anything more than be there.

  “You, Goldie Tate, Harvard grad and former head of the Zeta Phi’s, are going to go on being the best damn personal assistant at Rhys-Gallagher National. You will get over your feelings for him, and you will find someone who thinks you’re beautiful and have sexy eyes.” I wiped her tears. “Just promise me one thing?”

  “What?” She took a deep breath, her head bowed.

  “Promise me you won’t become the Wicked Witch of the East.”

  “Don’t you mean Wicked Witch of the West?” She snuffled. “The Wicked Witch of the East is the one the house fell on.”

  “Exactly. If you try to mess up Dorian’s happiness with his son, or get between him and Luella, you will be the person crushed by a house.”

  She laughed weakly. “You really need to see another show besides Wicked.”

  “Not until Cats comes back. Come on, let’s go scare some of the partners before you leave. It will make you feel better.” I hugged her with one arm.

  She and Dorian were my closest friends. I wanted them to be happy. Dorian had longed for a family—correction, a functional family. This was his chance. That’s probably why he’d agreed to be the boy’s father.

  Dear Lord, this is Rafael Felipe Esteban Diego Alejandro Morales, please let the drama end here. Just let them have this happily ever after, I beg of you. Amen. Oh, and sorry for that thing… You know.

  DORIAN

  It wasn’t a penthouse suite, but Luella and Alaric’s apartment was charming, neat, and, most importantly, safe. The walls were warm yellow and covered in photos. Everything that made a sound had lights on it: the telephone, the doors, the stove. I hadn’t thought about it, but they were there to catch Alaric’s attention. She’d made sure the house was not only safe but accessible for him. I knew that wasn’t odd. That’s what most mothers did. They put their kids first. Had it been my mother or my father, they would’ve made me learn to adapt, they would’ve told me to make whatever was wrong with me less noticeable. Anything less than perfection was not tolerated for a Rhys-Gallagher. I spent my whole life following those rules and now I was the Rhys-Gallagher. What came next?

  “Are you alright?” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked to her. She smiled. “You looked upset for a second.”

  “Sorry.” I snickered. “Sometimes I get lost in my thoughts.”

  “Oh, okay. We’ll be right back, do you need anything?” she asked, placing her bag on the table.

  “I’m fine, go ahead.”

  She disappeared, and I walked toward a wall of photos. It was her and Alaric, along with some other woman. Occasionally, there were a few of Alaric with his friends.

  I saw the flash from the corner of my eye and turned as a woman with short brown hair and freckles came inside. She was digging through her purse. “Lulu, you first slept with him in the Hamptons, are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “I guess we will figure it out,” I said, and she looked at me in surprise. I assumed this was Eva, the friend. This was my first time meeting her face to face. When she’d dropped Alaric off at the penthouse, I barely caught a glimpse of her. I was so nervous and focused on Alaric. By the time I’d even thought of it, she’d left. Now she stood in front of me wide-eyed.

  “Oh.” She froze. “You’re here.”

  “I am.”

  “This is awkward.”

  “Why?”

  She frowned. “Because I don’t trust you and this white knight act you’ve got going on. If you’re anything like your brother—”

  “I don’t trust you, either.” I didn't want to hear her speak about Don. Bastard or not, he was my brother.

  “Why wouldn’t you trust me?” She crossed her arms.

  “Because no matter how hard I try, I can’t understand how you could tell a desperate mother to screw for money.”

  Her whole body tensed, and it looked like she wanted to punch me. “You don’t understand because you’ve never been hungry or freezing in winter. You’ve never gotten the harsh looks from others, who believe you’re a leech when you go to soup kitchens or get food stamps. You live in your multi-million-dollar homes, with your chefs, butlers, and maids… You can’t even begin to realize the state she was in after your brother ran off like a coward. If you hurt my friend or godson, I swear I will hurt you.”

  I smiled sadly, because she was right. I didn’t know what it was like to be in a situation like that. “She said you were like her big sister. I can see it now.”

  She didn’t relax, but she did stop glaring. “For the record, you have no idea how sorry I am for dragging her into all of this. But then again, it’s not like she had many options either.”

  I remembered what Luella said about no one dreaming about growing up to be an escort. I wondered what had derailed Eva’s life.

  “I’m nothing like my brother. We look the same—hell, we even liked some of the same things—but at the end of the day, Donovan was Donovan, and I am me. I can’t imagine hurting either of them, but if I do, I'll gladly take whatever punishment you dish out.” I told her, not wanting to go any further than that.

  This time she did relax.

  “Is everything okay out here?” Luella asked, appearing with two rolling suitcases and a backpack over one shoulder. Alaric had a red model airplane in his hands.

  “Everything’s fine.” I walked over and took one of the suitcases. “You have everything you need?”

  “Yep, sorry it took so long. Someone wasn’t sure which toy plane to bring.” She gave Alaric a fondly exasperated look, but he just smiled, lifting up his plane for her to see.

  “Where is my goodbye hug?” Eva asked before opening her arms wide. Alaric charged her, and she squeezed him tightly. “I want you to have fun but not too much, because someone has to keep
an eye on Mommy.”

  “Hey, I’m right here,” Luella waved her hands.

  Alaric gave her a thumbs-up.

  “I’ll keep an eye on her, and Daddy too,” Luella translated, glancing at me, the corners of her lips turning up.

  I couldn’t help but grin. Keep an eye on us for what?

  The moment the thought popped into my head, I thought of her moaning underneath me.

  “I’ll take these down,” I said, already moving toward the door. I needed a second to calm down and breathe.

  LUELLA

  “Earth to Lulu, anyone home?”

  Blinking, I looked away from his back as he left and focused on a waiting Eva with her arms folded.

  “What?”

  “Sweetheart, don’t go there.” She frowned. “Especially if you’re trying to replace Donovan.”

  “I’m not.” It wasn’t a lie, because I didn’t know. “I know he’s not Don, but—”

  “But you wish Don had been like him. You wished this could have been your life. Yeah, I can tell. Just remember, you come from different worlds. This is all for Alaric. Don’t want him as anything more than a father for Alaric.”

  Right. This was for Alaric’s sake, not mine. But I still wanted it to be for me too. Was that wrong?

  Kneeling in front of him, I smiled. “You ready to go to the beach?”

  “Yes!” He was so excited, he was bouncing.

  My wants couldn’t trump his, but I could be allowed to want the same things for myself.

  10

  You Call This Drama, I Call It Life

  LUELLA

  He was shaking, muttering something under his breath, hands twitching. I didn’t want to bother him. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, but I couldn’t just sit here and watch this.

  “Dorian… Dorian, wake up.” I shook him.

  “Huh?” He sat up quickly, his eyes wide.

  I touched the side of his face. “Are you okay? It looked like you were having a nightmare.”

  He adjusted his tie before relaxing into his seat and took a deep breath.

  “I’m fine. I hate the Hamptons.” He muttered the last part under his breath. A sleeping Alaric fell against his side when the car went around a curve.

  “He doesn’t have a problem with dogs, does he?” he asked me, staring down at him.

  “No, he loves them. So much in fact, he’s been begging for one. Why?”

  “We… I have two beagles. One of them is very active, but the other has been sick. Cancer. I was going to finally put her to sleep while I was here.”

  “Oh no. I’m sorry.” I frowned and brushed Alaric’s cheek. “He gets attached so easily, he’s going to be heartbroken.”

  “He’s not the only one,” he whispered, looking out the window.

  “I know this is a dumb question, but are you sure you’re okay? This place—”

  “Brings back a lot of memories, yes. I’ll be fine. How about you? The last time you came here it was for…” His voice drifted off as he stared out the window.

  Luckily, I didn’t have to answer because we pulled up in front of the classical white mansion. When Goldie said the staff would be here to welcome us, I wasn’t expecting five maids, three butlers, the kitchen crew, and two beagles to all be standing outside. Dorian fixed his tie again and checked his cufflinks as the driver came around to open the door.

  Thank God I didn’t change into jeans. I planned to at my apartment but didn’t want to waste any more time.

  “Ready? The staff’s been the same since I was a teen, so I feel comfortable.” He told me as I woke Alaric. Dorian stepped out first, then Alaric and finally me. I smelled the ocean breeze. Alaric rubbed his eyes, looked around, then grinned when he saw the two brown-and-white beagles. Breaking away from me, he ran to them, to the surprise of everyone, and hugged them. They licked the sides of his face excitedly, and he laughed.

  The older butler, a man I guessed was in his late sixties, stepped forward. “Welcome back, Mr. Rhys-Gallagher.”

  “Luella, this is Russell, he oversees the house all year round. Russell, this is Luella Thorne and our son, Alaric. Please see to it they both have anything they need.”

  He nodded slightly. “Welcome, ma’am. If anything is not to your liking, please let me know.”

  “Luella is fine.” One maid was trying to say hello to Alaric, but he wasn’t paying attention. “He’s not ignoring you, he just can’t hear.”

  I moved over and waved my hands near his face, and he glanced up at me. “Don’t be rude. Say hello to everyone.”

  Everyone was gazing at him, but since he loved attention, he was not at all bothered by it. He signed, “Hi, everyone, I am Alaric.”

  They waved and smiled, but a few looks were exchanged.

  “Russell, please see to it that another staff member is added who knows ASL and that the rest understand a few important things,” Dorian stated, approaching Alaric and lifting him.

  “Of course, Sir.”

  He reached for my hand. I took it, following him into the house.

  “You’re going to force them to learn sign language?” I whispered.

  “Their job is to take care of this house and everyone in it. How can they do that if they can’t understand what he’s saying?”

  “Alaric, move slowly, okay?”

  He nodded, not really caring. He’d found his new best friends. “I want the dogs.”

  He wiggled from Dorian’s arms and back onto the white marble floors. As he wished, the dogs were making their way back into the house and he moved back to them, falling to his knees in order to rub their stomachs.

  “You’re right, he does get attached.” Dorian frowned, and I could clearly tell which one was sick.

  Though she was excited to see a new face, the female didn’t roll over like the male. She only allowed Alaric to lightly touch her before moving back and sitting down as Alaric and the male dog played on the floor.

  “Hercules is the male and Bronwyn, the female, she was Donovan’s dog. She’s been sick for some time now.” He glanced at them one more time before looking away. “I need to make a few phone calls, why don’t you unpack?”

  He didn’t give me a chance to reply before walking off toward another part of the house. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea?

  “Ma’am—”

  “Russell, call me Luella or Lulu. Believe me, I’m no ‘ma’am’.”

  One old gray eyebrow went up.

  “That came out wrong. I am a ‘ma’am’, just not—I’m going to stop talking now before I make a fool of myself.” I gave up trying to explain.

  His smile was kind. Sort of like how you’d expect a grandparent to smile at you. “Ms. Luella, thank you for being here.”

  “Why are you thanking me?”

  He looked back at Alaric, who was giggling like crazy next to the dogs. “I haven’t heard laughter in this house for so long, I’d almost forgotten what it sounded like. Your son reminds me very much of Dorian as a boy.”

  “You’ve been here that long?”

  “I’ve been here since he turned six. It’s almost uncanny how alike they look,” he said with a genuine smile. “He and this house have seen a lot of pain. But, hopefully, it will change now that you both are here.”

  “Russell, will Dorian be all right?” I asked softly.

  He smiled sadly. “Just don’t leave him alone and he’ll be fine.”

  “How could he be alone with so many people in the house?” I watched the staff bringing in our suitcases.

  “Miss, the staff can be like family, but we shall never actually be family. After all, everyone is here because they are paid to be here.”

  A maid stepped toward us. “The rooms are ready.”

  “Please show them the way. I shall check to see if Mr. Rhys-Gallagher needs anything. If you need anything, Ms. Luella, please do not hesitate.” He disappeared in the same direction Dorian had.

  “This way, miss,” she said. Alaric tried
to lift both dogs in his arms before giving up and allowing them to walk up the stairs. He kept checking to make sure they were following.

  “Is that Dorian’s room?” I pointed to the twin doors that were on the far side of the second level of the house.

  “No, Miss, that room belonged to his parents. He’s asked for it to always remain unused.” She leaned in as though it were some sort of dark secret.

  “This will be his room.” She opened a door to a young boy’s dream room.

  I stepped inside, and Alaric’s attention finally left the dogs and moved to one of the ships in a glass bottle. He stared at it like it was magic. “How did that get in there?”

  “People make it. It’s pretty cool, right?”

  “So cool. I want to make one.” He sat on the bed, staring at it.

  I looked over to the desk and saw a picture frame. I would have thought I was looking at Alaric in a few short years, times two. The twins, dressed in the same clothes, were in a sailboat with their mother and father. They all seemed so happy.

  “My mother enjoyed dressing us alike.” Dorian leaned against the doorframe.

  The maid curtsied to him before leaving.

  “I thought you had phone calls to make?”

  “I lied.” He shrugged. “I just needed a few minutes to myself, but Russell all but pulled me by the ear and told me to show you around.”

  “Are you and Russell close?”

  “He was the only one consistently there for me growing up, so yes.”

  Alaric got off the bed and ran to him, holding the bottle. “How do you do this?”

  He bent down and signed slowly. “Do. You. Want. To. Learn?”

  Alaric nodded so quickly, he looked like a bobble head.

  “I….” Dorian looked at me. “What is the sign for ‘promise’?” I showed him.

  “I promise to show you.”

  I joined in. “After you unpack, and when he isn’t busy, okay?”

  His blue eyes drifted to another thing to play with.

  “I’m glad he likes it here.” Dorian stood. “It was Don’s old room. I haven’t changed anything in this house for the most part. When my mother got sick, we stopped coming here. He didn’t come back until he died… Sorry, I don’t mean to be depressing.”