Swinging the door open and stepping inside, I welcomed the warm embrace of the kitchen and the familiar smells of ready-made meals. I had missed this place more than I thought.
“Lissie!” Laura and her sister, Chelsea, came running from the dining area and I was tackled in hugs. Jessie and Hannah followed right behind them and gave me friendly hugs too.
“We thought you weren’t ever going to come back.” Jessie said while Hannah took some of my many layers, hat, and gloves, over to the coat rack.
“It seemed like I wasn’t going to,” I agreed. I knew this meeting with the girls was going to be awkward and I was going to have to lie repeatedly to them, but I had to. “But I’m back now and can’t wait to get all this started.” I rubbed my hands together, showing them it was time to move and quit talking. More than anything it was to cut off their questions, especially the ones I could see Laura had on the tip of her tongue.
Our first customers arrived not long after I had, and then it was a continuous flow of taking orders and delivering trays that went on and on. I was assigned tables with only tourists and visitors, this way I didn’t back up any of the work with questions from family friends. Of course this had been my idea, and I acted as though it was for the restaurant, when in reality I wanted to avoid any inquiries to my supposed trip to Norway.
The day passed by, slow at first, and then increasing with speed as I fell into my usual routine. I ducked around guests and waded through the tables with an ease which seemed to run through my blood. I rattled off the menu with a memory that surprised me and before long I could feel the fear and desperation of the past begin to slip away. In the arms of the commotion, I was lost and whisked into a blur of activity that kept me from thinking beyond what needed to be done in the next minute.
The restaurant was nearing closing time, when I finally came to my senses and realized how tired my feet were. Shifting my weight from side to side, I hurriedly rinsed off the plates before sending them through the dishwasher. The door to the dining area opened and Hannah walked in.
“Hey,” I said. She looked tired, as she always did at the end of school a week.
“Hey,” she replied. “The boys want to talk to you before you leave.” She made a face and crossed her arms; always the informer.
I sighed, I wanted to talk to Jonathan and his friends too, but I was a little worried about not being able to lie convincingly. Hannah had seen me avoid them all night; I had acted busy and had refused to look at their table for longer than a second.
“I’ll be out in a sec,” I said and reached for the top plate on a tiny stack of dishes.
“Here,” Hannah held out her hand for the plate after I had rinsed it. I gave it to her and she put it in the dishwasher. We finished the dishes quickly with team work and I wiped my hands on a dry towel. I was shaking internally and wished that I could get this over with.
As I walked out of the kitchen, Hannah was right on my heels, and I spotted the large round table located in the adjoining building. It was kept off to the side, typically used by parties or large groups; and this one was rather big in size.
Jonathan sat with his arm around a girl I recognized from years of going to school, but I didn’t know her name. Beside him sat his friends, Ethan and Adam, whom I remembered from the night Morven had come here. Trey sat near his friends, as well, slouching in a chair, while Chelsea was next to him trying desperately to get his attention. Jessie was sitting with a skinny, lanky boy with square brown glasses, and Laura was on the lap of a rather large rough looking guy. They heard us coming and stopped their conversation.
“There she is!” Jonathan yelled. He stood up to give me a hug. I was surprised by how big he had gotten; not just tall, he had really filled out.
I said hi to everyone and sat down between Hannah and Jonathan’s girlfriend. She introduced herself as Brittany and I found out the big guy with Laura was Joey and the skinny boy with Jessie was Ryan.
“So how has your year in Norway been?” Ethan asked, curiously.
“It wasn’t a whole year, just a semester, but it was awesome.” I smiled.
“How come you didn’t tell us about it,” Jessie wondered, while beside her Ryan looked as though he couldn’t be more uninterested.
“Uh,” I said and opened my eyes wide in innocence. “See, I had applied and the plans were getting all settled when Jillian’s brother, Joel, called and said that if I wanted to go I would have to leave immediately. It was all very strange, something to do with their school policies, I never really understood it myself actually. I would have told you guys but I didn’t have time. I mean I literally left right after Emly was born.”
“Yeah, that was such a bummer,” our conversation had grabbed Chelsea’s attention and she gave up on trying to get Trey to listen to her. “So, like, what did you do there?”
“I was in Oslo, the capital, so basically there was lots to do, but lots of studying. It was a really neat experience.” I said, as excited as I could.
“Are you going back? Or are you coming to school with us again?” Trey asked and I noticed that during my absence from Coveside, he had grown more forward. For a long time I had known he liked me, but in the past he’d hardly looked me in the eye. But now, he looked at me with no hint of covering his feelings. I internally cringed and hoped he would never act upon those feelings. He didn’t know what I’d been through.
“No, I’m staying here, but I won’t be going back to school until the fall. I finished a whole years’ worth of school in one semester over there.”
Jonathan whistled, “So what you really mean is you did nothing but study and go to school?”
“When you can’t speak the language it kind of leaves you without a choice.” I laughed, even though I didn’t feel it, and they did too.
“Do you realize how long it’s been since we’ve seen you?” Laura spoke even though she still had her arms around the neck of the big guy named Joey.
“It’s been a while,” I said and shrugged.
“Yeah,” Jessie bobbed her head. “I think it was since the night when that guy came.” I stilled, not wanting the conversation to head in this direction.
“Oh! Was he from Norway?!” Laura asked excited by the turn of the conversation.
“No, he wasn’t,” I said quickly, hoping they would take the hint, but they didn’t.
“Yeah, that guy was weird.” Trey said and puffed up his chest, so sure of himself. I even noticed he flexed his muscles under his long sleeve shirt. If he only knew that blades could come out of Morven’s forearms as fast a lightening, he would be telling a different story.
“He wasn’t weird, he was hot. I mean did you see him?” Jessie’s voice rose high and I wondered if Ryan would care that she was talking about other guys in his presence; he seemed to not even hear her as he played with a straw wrapper, his hair hanging into his eyes.
“I did,” Laura joined in now and it grated on my nerves. I knew questions would be headed my way in just a moment. “He was like inhuman, he was so amazingly hot. Sorry babe.” She looked at Joey and he shrugged even though he looked annoyed.
“Who was he?” Brittany who sat to my left was honestly curious; I couldn’t blame her. If circumstances had been different I would have wanted to know who Morven was also. The only problem was Morven happened to be the last person I wanted to know.
I soon learned that Jonathan was a story teller as he launched into an epic tale of what had happened when Morven had come into the restaurant and how I dropped the soup in his lap. There was something charismatic about the way he told the story and I found myself smiling as he recounted how hot the soup had been on his crotch. He then went on to explain Morven’s appearance and I was surprised with how much he had noticed.
“What was his name?” Laura asked as soon as Jonathan finished talking.
All eyes turned to me and it was as though a wave swept through my mind; I knew how I should answer. I wasn’t the same girl that had worked here last fall, I’d chang
ed and they would have to deal with that. There was a burning anger, coupled by tragedy, inside of me that I wanted to quench. I wanted to lash out at them and make them understand what I’d been through, but I couldn’t do that.
“You know what?” I said, surprised by how steady my voice was, even though I was raging inside. “I would prefer it if we changed the subject.” It went quiet and everyone either looked at me or down at their hands.
“Why?” Laura asked, she had never been one to pick up on social cues, or she didn’t care.
“Let’s just say there’s a reason why I left here so suddenly.” I smiled solemnly, and placed my hands on the table. It took some effort to make my hands unclench. “I’m tired, still not used to the time difference, so I’ll see you guys later.”
My chair whined against the floor as I pushed back and rose to my feet with as a chorus of goodbyes reaching my ears. I half smiled and strode to the kitchen where I didn’t even bother to put on my coat, hat, and gloves. I just grabbed them and walked straight out the door. My hands were shaking with so much fury that I hardly knew what to do with myself.
I was half way home surrounded by the total darkness when I dropped my coat, reached under my t-shirt, and pulled the dagger from its strap. With a cry of frustration, I threw the knife with all my might at a tree. It wedged into the wood perfectly and I knew it was the exact height of Morven’s chest. If he had been standing there it would have been a fatal throw. How I wished he was here to face me. I didn’t care if I died trying to kill him, I wanted him to pay for what he’d done.
My anger slightly abated as I walked over to the poor tree and pulled out the knife. It was wedged in farther than I thought and with a giant tug and grunt, I slipped and fell to the ground. I laid there for a while and looked up at the barely visible sky through the tree branches where dark clouds hinted at an oncoming snowfall.
The sound of pounding feet crunching over the frozen ground reached my ears, and I pounced to my feet. I had been chased too many times to not take this seriously and I held my dagger slightly behind my back for an element of surprise.
“Who’s there?” I called out into the dark night, annoyed that my voice shook. I saw a flashlight come into view and all my muscles relaxed. No Hyven soldier would carry a flashlight. Thinking quickly, I put the hunting knife back in its sheath and strapped it against my belly. I had just enough time to throw on my thick jacket when the flashlight reached my face.
“Hey!” I said in pain; the light was pointed directly in my eyes.
“Sorry,” Trey said and I internally cringed. Of all people, why him?
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice full of concern and I tried to stem my anger. It was a nice gesture by him, but it had to stop there.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for checking though, I really shouldn’t be walking around at night all by myself. Guess I just got used to it in Norway.” I rambled, hoping it was an acceptable response. I had no idea if teen girls walked around by themselves in Oslo, but I assumed Trey wouldn’t know that either.
“Oh ok,” Trey replied.
“Bye,” I said before he could say anything else. I could tell he wanted to say something more but I didn’t want to hear it. Not right now, not when my head was filled with Patrick’s memory.
“Wait Lissie,” Trey called and stepped toward me. “There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while.”
Here we go, I thought. I was going to stop him but thought better of it. It would maybe be more embarrassing if I told him that I knew he liked me and that I didn’t return his feelings.
“I like you,” he said quickly, his breath clouded the air. “I’ve tried to get you to like me too, but then you left for so long. Would you consider going and getting, like, a cup of coffee or something with me tomorrow?”
It was my turn to sigh, “Look Trey,” I put my hand to my head. “Thanks, and I like you too, but only as a friend. See—”
He butted in, “Once you get to know me better you’ll like me. I know you will.” I could see in his eyes he wouldn’t take no for an answer. The frustration I had felt before was coming back quickly.
I shook my head, “No, it wouldn’t be that way because—”
“Yes, it could.” His eyes were lit from the light of the flashlight. That was twice he had cut me off. “You know we would be—”
“Trey,” I said softly but sharp enough to cut him off; I was past feeling bad for him after he hadn’t taken the hint twice. “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested.”
Finally, he stayed quiet. I turned, leaving him to stand there all alone, and although I felt bad I decided not to worry about it. He was the one who had pushed it too far, even when I was willing to be kind.
Maybe it was because I was so mad at the world. Or more accurately, mad at Morven for what he did, and Patrick for telling me to run instead of being with him. A lump formed in my throat but I shoved it back. I would wait until I was in bed to cry, just like every night. My pillow was never dry before I fell asleep and I knew it would be a long, long time before it ever was again.
I picked up my pace and ran up the pathway toward the house.
5. Waking
Warm steam rose around my face in little patterns of delicate swirls from the rim of my coffee mug. It was a brisk morning and the clouds outside threatened a coming snow fall. I inhaled deeply, letting the warm smell of the roasted beans fill my nostrils. Pressing the mug between my hands, I stared out the window and into the lightening sky. Sunrise was coming, but there was nothing but gray clouds within sight.
I didn’t know how long I had been staring out the window, but my mind had run its course far away from where I stood. After a sleepless night, I often found myself staring off into the abyss, where logical thought gave way to tangents and streams of consciousness. It was the same problem I had when trying to fall asleep. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my mind to calm down.
If it’s not crying it’s thinking, I thought and took a sip of my coffee.
The sound of approaching footsteps reached my ears and I snapped my body to attention, trying desperately to bring some life to my eyes. For a long time I had wondered if it was possible to look alive when I felt dead on the inside. Every time I worked at the restaurant, I tried my best to remind myself of who I had been, and I was always trying here at home. But not matter what I did or how I acted there was a distance between the people I used to know so well. Two weeks had passed by since my return and I still felt as though I had lost a part of myself. The girl I used to be was lost, but so was the one I had become when I was on the island. What was left of my heart tried desperately to breathe life into my lungs, but only enough to keep me breathing.
“You’re up early,” Dad said as he exited the bedroom he shared with Jillian.
“Yeah,” I agreed and turned away from the window. My overly large sweatshirt was toasty and comfortable and I sat down at the kitchen table with my legs crossed on the seat to keep my toes warm. It didn’t matter that my body was always regulated with the temperature now, I still acted on instinct. Some human things were easier to come back to than others.
I watched as Dad moved about the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee and grabbing a cold piece of pizza from the fridge. He looked over at me before he took a bite, “Don’t tell Jillian,” he said and winked.
A smile threatened to cross my lips and I shook my head. “I thought you were supposed to only eat clean food,” I said raising my hands to put up quotations around the word clean.
“A man’s got to eat sometimes,” he laughed and came to sit down across from me. “What about you?”
“Hmm,” I said and snapped back to reality. Even in the smallest spans of time my mind wandered.
“Have you had anything to eat?” he asked holding up his half-eaten piece of pizza.
“No,” I made a face, “I wasn’t very hungry. At least not for pizza.”
“Ahh,” he nodded and continued to eat the cold
bread and cheese concoction. He looked older somehow, but in a way that was agreeable. His eyes crinkled more around the edges as though he was so used to smiling, it had left its permanent trace. His once dirty blonde hair was now streaked with highlights of gray that I hadn’t noticed before; somehow in the amount of time I was gone, he had changed. Or maybe it was that he was subtly changing while I was here but it wasn’t until I was gone that I could notice the difference upon my return.
His familiar crystal blue eyes reached mine and he took another bite. “You need to eat something,” he said around the food in his mouth and scratched his chin, the sound of sharp whiskers made me cringe. Many a time I had been the receiver of whisker burns from the pale stubble on that weathered chin, but the memories of those days were filled with laughter.
I shook my head to discharge the thoughts. Making myself fall back into this life wasn’t going to work if I continued to sit around and mope. Sure, there would be days when I would struggle more than others, but I was going to do it because he sacrificed his life for me. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t even have this chance to get back to my family.
“You need to shave,” I said coming back to the present.
“Nah,” he rubbed his chin again. “Rugged is the only way for me.” The side of my mouth lifted at his attempt at a joke. At least he was trying.
“Do you have any plans for today?” I asked and took another sip of my coffee.
“Nope, just paperwork,” he said and it was his turn to grimace. I knew there were days when he wished he was out on the open sea, setting lobster traps, instead of running the business side of things. Twice this week I had caught him sitting in his work office, at the back of the house, staring out the window with a desire that bordered on obsession. He wasn’t meant to be kept indoors for work, but for now that’s what the job demanded of him.
“Besides,” he continued, “it looks like we might have a snow storm headed our way. His eyes searched over my head and I turned to look out the smeared glass to the cloudy skies once more.
Ripples (DROPLETS Trilogy Book 2) Page 5
