by Alexis Gold
He frowned and moved his hands to her shoulders, pushing her back a little from his body. “I was just about to go in after you! You’ve been in there forever!” he scowled at her.
She blinked in consternation and shook her head. “What are you doing waiting out here for me?” she asked in confusion.
He narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing here in this restaurant?” he asked in an accusatory tone.
Mia furrowed her brows. “I happen to be on a date! I didn’t know you were going to be here!”
“You know this is my favorite restaurant!” he snapped back at her. “And who is this guy Logan, anyway? Are you sleeping with him for measurement purposes as well?” he shot at her with a nasty tone.
It hit her hard. She bit her lip and looked down and Alexander’s angry face softened and looked away from her for a moment.
“I’m just having dinner with him, that’s all, and I didn’t know you were going to be here,” she said quietly, looking up at him with anger and sadness in her. “Look, I know I made a mistake with you, but you don’t have to throw it back in my face like that. I told you I was sorry and I wanted to explain what happened, but you just aren’t going to let me, so let it go, okay?” she said shortly.
His eyes were locked on her, and his hands closed tighter around her shoulders as he looked at her. “Why did you come here with him? You could have gone anywhere in the city!” he said angrily.
She lifted her chin and looked up at him defiantly. “It just kind of happened! Besides, what do you care where we are or what we are doing? You’re here on your own date! You don’t see me asking you all about Emily!”
Alexander’s frustration was crystal clear. “What I’m doing here with Emily is my business!”
Mia kept her chin pointed out at him. “Well, what I’m doing here with Logan is my business and it doesn’t concern you at all!” she threw back at him.
He shook his head as the frustration in him mounted, “It does when it’s you!” he said angrily.
“It doesn’t! You don’t even talk to me! You never wanted to see me again! Nothing I do concerns you because you want no part of me!” she flared furiously.
Alexander tried to speak, but the words stopped before he spoke them, he shook his head, but could not seem to make himself say what he wanted to, and suddenly he pulled her to him, his hands clamped on her shoulders and he kissed her hard on the lips.
Her eyes flew wide open as he moved his mouth over hers roughly, and everything in her stopped in a single moment, until his arms went around her and crushed her body to his, and then everything in her combusted simultaneously and she was overwhelmed by the fire that consumed her.
She succumbed to him, giving in to the need and desire she felt so deeply for him, giving in to anything he wanted from her. She closed her eyes and parted her lips as he thrust his tongue into them and demanded with it that she kiss him in return. She lost herself in the wildfire that burned through them both, and her body ached everywhere for him, but no part of it ached as much as her heart did for him.
A soft moan escaped her and at the sound of it, his kiss grew deeper and more urgent, and she felt him push her back up against the wall. His hands began to travel from her back to her hips and he grasped them tightly, squeezing his fingers into the soft curves, and he pulled her hard against his massive solid erection. She gasped and grew breathless as he moved it against her, filling her with a fiery need for him. She closed her arms tightly around his neck and kissed him with all of the passion in her.
Suddenly he pushed her away from him, his face flushed, his breath ragged, his chest heaving, and he shook his head. “I wanted every part of you!” he said gruffly, “You just didn’t want me for more than your ticket to Italy.”
With that he took a long deep breath and turned away from her as she panted and tried to calm her breath and her heart, and she watched him walk away from her, leaving her standing there against the wall alone, burning for him, as tears coursed down her cheeks.
He disappeared around the corner back into the restaurant, and she returned to the bathroom and cleaned her face again, wiping away the tears and trying to subdue them from continuing to cascade from her eyes.
She couldn’t believe he had fought with her and kissed her, making her want him more in that moment than she ever had. She couldn’t believe he walked away from her again, and that there was nothing she could do about it, but more than all of that, she couldn’t believe that he had told her what he had; that he had wanted every part of her. She knew he was telling her the truth. She knew that he wasn’t holding anything back from her, and she wished that he had told her that before, and she wished that she had been honest and told him about the challenge when she still had a chance to talk with him. When she could have tried to save everything with him, but all of that was gone, and he had gotten her back in some small way.
Steadying herself and wiping once more at her face, she left the restroom and went back to her table. Logan was waiting quietly and patiently for her. He rose up from his chair and helped her to sit down again.
She wanted to look over at Alexander, but she didn’t know if she could take it. She kept her eyes on Logan.
“Are you all right? You were gone a while,” he said casually.
She nodded. “I’m fine,” she lied.
“Your friend left. He stopped by the table on his way out and told me to take good care of you,” he said with a confused smile. “I told him I would.”
He reached his left hand to his right hand and rubbed it a little. “He’s got a firm grip, that fellow.”
Mia nodded silently and forced her emotions back. She picked up her glass of water and nearly drained it. Setting the glass back down, she looked at Logan and sighed. “I’m really tired. I’m sorry, I know it isn’t that late, but I do need to get home and get to bed.”
He frowned slightly and nodded. “I understand,” he told her. It was all he told her. He rose up then and pulled her chair out again for her, helping her to her feet, and then they left the restaurant and he took her home.
As he stood outside of her door with her, he reached for her to kiss her and she turned away from him. “Logan, I think it’s best if we keep this a strictly business relationship. I know you’re interested in more with me, but I want to be honest with you, I just don’t feel like that is a good move for us. I hope you’re all right with that,” she told him quietly.
He sighed and pushed his hands down into his pockets, looking at her sadly. “The good ones always get away,” he told her softly. “I might not be able to date you, but I’m going to keep you for my business, if that’s all right,” he said, tilting his head.
She nodded. “I’d like that. Thank you for a nice evening.”
He nodded in return and then turned and walked down the hall and she closed her apartment door and went to her room. She didn’t let herself cry until her bedroom door was closed, and then she wept long and hard, crying out all of the pain, anger, guilt, and regret that she had built up in her. She cried until there were no more tears to cry, and then she washed her face, dressed for bed, and crawled into the sheets, wrapping herself up in them snugly as she buried her head into the pillow.
In her dreams, Alexander made love to her again, long and slow, and she couldn’t be sure, but somewhere in the softest whisper, she heard him say that he wanted everything about her.
Chapter10
Mia stared at her drink as Ava, Maddie, and Liam all chatted about their latest love conquests, and hum of conversation stopped and it grew quiet for a moment. She looked up and saw that all of their eyes were on her.
She blinked and looked around the table at them. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that last part. What was it?” she asked, feeling bad.
Maddie frowned and reached a hand out to touch her arm. “I said I wonder what it is that has you so down today. You’ve hardly been here and we’ve been talking for twenty minutes. Where is your brain? What is it that
has you all tied up?”
Mia shrugged. “It’s nothing new. It’s Alexander.”
Ava sat up a bit straighter and looked at her curiously. “Is there something new?” she asked. “You were making progress before, you were getting over him. You were going to date other guys. What happened?” she asked, her eyes kind and loving for her friend.
Mia sighed. “Well, I went out to dinner with Logan Parker, and he asked me where I wanted to go. I just… I was so stupid. I was thinking of Alexander, which I have been trying not to do, and Alexander told me about his favorite restaurant; Hastings, and he said he was going to take me there, but he never did.”
Maddie nodded and whistled. “Oh… I love Hastings. Great place.”
Mia nodded back and continued. “It is a great place, except I never should have chosen it; but it was the first thing that popped into my head when Logan asked. All I could think of was Alexander, and that’s what came out, so we went there.”
Ava smiled encouragingly. “So, how was it?” she asked brightly.
Mia closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head before looking back at all of them. “Well, it probably would have been just fine, except that when we walked in the door Alexander was standing there with a gorgeous date.” She felt her stomach tighten at the memory and she swallowed the lump in her throat.
Her friends all groaned around her and their faces contorted with sympathy. “Oh no…” Ava said quietly, looking at her with a little pout.
“Yeah. Alexander was there and there was no way to avoid talking to him, so I had to introduce him to Logan, and I had to meet his date, Emily. That was so hard.” Her friends nodded in commiseration.
“So, they seated us and of course they seated us right where we would have to see each other. Thank god we were far enough away that we couldn’t hear each other. Anyway, I kept looking at him and he kept looking at me all through dinner, and Logan is sweet, but he’s not very bright. He didn’t really catch on to it, thankfully, and by the time dinner was over, I was a wreck, so I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, Alexander was right outside of the door waiting for me. I walked right into him.”
Liam stared at her. They were all staring at her. She took a deep breath and continued. “Well, we got into a fight. He was mad that I was there, he was mad that I was with Logan, he was mad about what happened, and I was mad that he was mad, and we just kind of fought with each other, and then all of a sudden he just grabbed me and kissed me. Hard.”
All three of her friends gaped at her, and Liam gasped. Ava whispered, “He kissed you?”
Mia pursed her lips and gave her head a nod. “He did. He kissed me better than he’s ever kissed me. I thought he was going to set me on fire right there, and that’s not all. He got fresh with me and then he just backed off and let go completely and turned around and left me standing there. He went back to his date and they left the restaurant and I was stuck there with Logan. I had Logan take me home and I told him I couldn’t date him anymore, so we’re just going to keep it business.”
Maddie and Liam shook their heads, and Ava just stared at her. “My god…” she whispered.
Mia hated recounting it, but it was much better for her that she didn’t have to keep it locked up in her chest any longer. She didn’t think she could stand to hold it in; it had been hurting her since it happened.
Liam reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Have you heard from him since?” he asked softly.
She shook her head. “No. I haven’t tried to call him and he hasn’t tried to get a hold of me at all either. Maybe he was just trying to hurt me back. I don’t know.”
Liam’s eyes were filled with sadness for her. “Honey, I’m so sorry. Did he even say anything to you?”
Mia turned her eyes to Liam. “Yeah, he did.” She fought back some tears that threatened to show her friends just how hurt she truly was. “He said he wanted every part of me.”
Maddie looked at her in surprise. “He wants every part of you? What does that mean?”
Mia shook her head slowly. “No, he doesn’t still want it, he did want it. He wanted to be with me. I used him, and I hurt him, and he was letting me know just how much I had hurt him. I guess I wasn’t already riddled with enough guilt and pain.” She picked up her drink and took a sip of it. “Well, I sure as hell am now.”
Maddie sighed and reached her arm around Mia, hugging her from the side. “Lady, you are strong and you are filled with grace. You’re going to get through this. I promise. You’re going to get through it with all of us at your side.”
Mia smiled a little and nodded. “I will try.”
Liam leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You’ll do it. I know you will. We’ll help you.”
Ava tilted her head and gave Mia a smile. “Maybe you could use some time away. Perhaps it’s time for a break from all of this, right? You could use that ticket we gave you. Go to Italy. Take a break. Screw an Italian stallion. Have a bunch of orgasms and wine, and find yourself again. Right?”
Mia actually laughed out loud, she was so struck by what Ava had said. It wasn’t often, but Ava did have a good point from time to time. Mia reached across the table and took Ava’s hand in hers.
“You know what, you’re right. I could use a break, and I’m sure I would have a good time over there. I’ll see about taking that trip soon. Thank you, Ava.” Her smile spread further and she laughed, and then her friends laughed, and for a few minutes it felt like everything that should be right in the world was actually right.
She did need a break, and she had the ticket to use. She told herself that she might as well use it. When she left cocktails with her friends, she said goodbye to them at the door and decided to walk instead of taking a cab. It was a beautiful day, and the sunshine felt good on her. She wanted more of it.
Mia made her way down familiar streets, taking her time and looking in shop windows and at parks that she passed by. She let her thoughts go to Italy, thinking about where she wanted to go and what she would want to see when she got there. She had always wanted to go, and she had been to Europe a few times, but she hadn’t ever gotten to Italy, and now she was going to go. It had cost her someone she cared a great deal about, but that was over and done, and the best thing she could think of to do was to use the ticket and perhaps find some closure with all of it.
Maybe Ava was right and she would find some Italian lover to make her forget all the pain her heart had been through. She wandered along on her walk and paid little attention to where she was going, until she looked up and saw that she was standing across the street from the high rise that Alexander’s penthouse was in. She had walked right to his home without even thinking about it.
Feeling foolish, she felt her cheeks flush warm and she turned to walk back the way that she had come when she saw him. He was coming out of the front door of the building with Emily, and her hand was in his. They were laughing and talking, and if it was possible, Emily looked even more beautiful than she had in the restaurant. Her long brunette hair was hanging down her back and around her shoulders in soft waves, and she was in a pretty sundress.
Mia stared at them, watching silently as everything in her twisted hard.
Alexander wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek, and she embraced him in return. He pulled open a cab door and she slid inside and he shut the door behind her. The cab pulled away from the curb and drove off down the street and he watched it go, waving as it disappeared. Then he stopped and turned to go back into the building, but as he did, his eyes caught sight of Mia, and his mouth fell open slightly.
He stared at her for a moment, and she could easily see the surprise on his face. Her heart nearly stopped in her chest and she felt the pace of everything in her quicken. He raised his hand, and for a moment she was sure that he was going to cross the road and go to her, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it with him. She couldn’t take any more pain and sorrow. She turned on her heel and hurried down the sidewalk, rushin
g away from him and into the people she passed until she knew she had gone far enough that he couldn’t still be behind her.
Cautiously, she slowed down and turned to glance over her shoulder. He was not there. She went home and collapsed on the sofa in her living room, wondering what had gotten into her that would make her go to his building. She knew she had no business there. She knew that she had to let him go, and that holding on to every little scrap of him that she had, from memories and voicemails to taking another date to his favorite restaurant and walking past his home, was not going to bring him back into her life, it was not going to suddenly make her matter to him, and it was certainly not going to help her get over him.
She sighed in frustration and admitted to herself that what she needed most was to get away. Far away. As far away as Italy. She went to her room and began to pack her suitcase, not wanting to wait any longer than she absolutely had to. She was packed and ready within two hours, promising herself that she would figure out all of her Italy trip on the way to Rome. It didn’t matter where she went when she got there, just that she had left to get there. That was all that mattered. That was going to get her far enough away from Alexander Daniels that she would be able to get over him and focus on anything other than him.
She phoned the airline and made her reservation, and half an hour later, she was in a taxi on her way to the airport.
Chapter11
The closer she got to the airport, the better she felt. She was going to get away from it all. She was going to find some reprieve, and it was going to make everything in her world that much easier, better, and brighter. As she waited for her flight to take off, she looked up several cities in Italy on her phone, trying to decide where to go and how much time to spend there. She decided to begin with a few days in Rome, and then she thought that she would head down to the Amalfi Coast and stay in Positano.
There was saltwater, there were huge mountains, and there were small, seaside villages that promised peace and a world away from everything and everyone she knew. As the plane climbed higher into the sky, she felt a surge of hope welling up in her; a promise in her heart that she was going to be happy again somehow, some way, and that she was on her way to that happiness, and it was going to feel like a whole new life to her.
