by Alexis Gold
As she laid there amidst mountains of bubbles with her eyes closed and her mind on various moments that she had shared with him, she promised herself that she would change what he was doing, and she would let him go.
Her phone rang and she was so startled she turned too swiftly and slid in the bathtub, sinking down beneath the hot water and bubbles, and she came up blinking and spluttering, grabbing the towel to wipe her face and ears off before she reached for her phone.
“Hello?” she asked, not bothering to look to see who it was.
“Mia? Hey there lady. This is Logan! I’m glad that I caught you. Are you busy?” he asked with a flirtatious tone.
She blinked some more and pushed herself up in the bathtub. Logan. Her newest client and last date before Alexander. She had ignored him so much that she was certain he would have given up completely. Maddie had warned her that he could be clingy, but she wasn’t really in a position to say no to any man that might be able to get Alexander off of her mind.
“Logan! My goodness, what a surprise to hear from you. How are you doing?” she asked distractedly as she toweled her head off some more and dried both of her hands better.
“Oh, I’m good! I’ve just been working. I wanted to let you know that I implemented all of the suggestions you made for my business, and things are already improving,” he stated happily and she thought she could detect a note of nervousness in him.
“Well that’s wonderful to hear! I’m so pleased to know that things are going well for you. Thank you for making those changes!” she replied pleasantly.
“Mia…” he paused and she knew that she had pegged his nervousness correctly, “I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I know things might have gone a little fast at first, but I wanted to give you a call and ask you to come to dinner with me again. The date we had a few weeks back was one of the most fun nights I’ve had in a long time, and you’re really an amazing lady. I’d just like to see if we could give it another try. What do you think? Would that be all right? I promise not to mix business and pleasure. We’ll keep it all pleasure while we are out!” he gave a thin laugh, and then he waited quietly for her to respond.
She sighed. Logan was not her first choice of men to get back in the game with, but he was a good man, a sweet man, and even Maddie had told her that he was an amazing lover. She bit her lower lip thinking about it and closed her eyes.
“Okay, Logan. I guess if we are going to keep business and pleasure separate, we can give it a try. What were you thinking for us?” she wondered aloud. She also wondered what she was doing, and reminded herself that she was moving forward. Just like she had promised her friends and herself that she would do.
His voice grew excited. “Oh! Well, I was thinking we could go to dinner again! What do you think? Is there some place that you’d like to go? We could go tomorrow night if you want to.”
She could hear him waiting again, almost holding his breath. She gave her head a shake and tried to get Alexander from the back of her mind and her thoughts. “…um, how about Hastings?” she asked suddenly and then immediately squeezed her eyes shut in regret. She silently berated herself for choosing that restaurant. She couldn’t imagine why she would have chosen it, except that Alexander had told her that it was his favorite. He had promised to take her there one day and it hadn’t happened. She sighed quietly and rolled her eyes. That’s what she got for thinking of him.
Logan jumped on it. “Oh! I’ve heard really good things about that place. We can go there. I’ll call them to make reservations right away. Can I pick you up at say… six?” he asked hopefully. She let out a long slow breath and agreed, giving him the address of her apartment. They said goodbye and she shook her head as she hung up. He sounded almost giddy about seeing her.
Setting her phone on the small table near the bathtub, she closed her eyes and sank back down low into the water, wishing she’d thought before she had spoken. She wondered how she was ever going to keep Alexander off of her mind by going on a date with another man to his favorite restaurant; a restaurant he had told her all about and promised to take her to.
Groaning, she laid a warm wet washcloth over her face and closed her eyes, wishing her thoughts had not betrayed her like they had just done. Taking a deep breath, she decided to focus on Logan and try to have the best time with him that she could. She was going to dress her best, look her best, and she was going to give her date with him all that she could. It was going to be a fun and wonderful night for them, she told herself with complete determination; it was going to be incredible, come hell or high water, by god.
***
Mia was less enthused about her date with Logan than she was for any of her dates with Alexander, but she continued to tell herself that they were going to have a night to remember, and she spent a fair amount of time making sure that she looked beautiful.
She put her hair up at the back of her head, she took extra time and care doing her makeup, and she was careful about selecting a dress that showed off her figure without showing off too much skin. It was form fitting and white with wide straps and a V-neck that offered a partial view of her cleavage. It hugged her waist and hips and then fell loosely to the floor from there. There was a slit in the material that went straight up the middle of the front of the dress to just above her knees, and when she sat, the material fell away from her legs.
She felt sexy in it, she decided, giving herself a few turns in front of the mirror. She thought she would see how she felt with Logan at the end of the night. She had no doubt in her mind that if she decided that she wanted to spend the night with him, he would be more than happy to be with her.
Logan arrived at her door on time, and when she opened it to him, he stared at her and grinned, shaking his head.
“My goodness, you look so beautiful tonight! Look at you! That dress is… well… it fits you perfectly. It’s really beautiful, but then of course, I expected no less. I just didn’t know you would look this good!” he gushed over her and for a moment she liked hearing it, it gave her some confidence, but then he kept going and it made her feel like he was overdoing it just a bit too much.
“You look nice too,” she told him, glancing over his jacket and button up shirt with a tie. She hadn’t been to Hastings herself yet, but she was fairly certain that he was just a little bit underdressed. He seemed not to have noticed, and she thought it best that she didn’t say anything.
She picked up her handbag and walked out of the door, closing it behind her. Logan reached for her hand and for a split second, she wanted to pull her hand away from his, but then she realized that she ought to give him a chance; give him every chance, at making their date a good one, so she gave him her hand and he smiled down at her happily.
She watched the city out of the window as he turned out of the parking garage for her building. She genuinely hoped that it would be a good night for them.
“I saw that it’s a little warmer right now than it normally is for this time of year,” he said casually, glancing at her with a smile.
She blinked and paused as she turned to look back at him while he drove. “Yes, it has been a bit warmer. I like it, but I’m concerned about global climate change. I wonder about the effects of what unseasonable weather will do to the planet. Do you worry about that?”
He shrugged. “Oh, I think about it here locally. I’m not going to have to wear winter clothes as far into the spring as I usually do. That’s about all the thinking I’ve done on it.” He chuckled and drove and she frowned slightly and looked back out of the window.
It was quiet for a long moment and he looked around and sighed. “There’s so much traffic tonight.”
She looked out of the front window and sighed quietly. “It looks like it,” she said in agreement.
“I thought about taking the train, but I just can’t stand public transportation if I don’t have to use it, plus, I didn’t think you’d be too impressed if we did. I like to make a good impression.” He gave her
a wink.
She tried not to frown again. “Well, actually, the public transportation system in this city is one of the best in the world; I mean, there are sometimes delays with the trains, but it’s certainly a lot better for the environment to take public transportation when the opportunity is there. I wouldn’t have minded,” she said as lightly as she could.
He shrugged. “That’s all right. I don’t like it. Besides, what is my one vehicle going to do to the environment? Nothing. It’s just one vehicle. Mine isn’t going to tip the scale.”
She bit her tongue. She wanted to tell him that if everyone thought the way he did, it would be so much worse for the environment, but if everyone who thought that way realized how much of a difference it would make, they would understand that each single drop of rain makes the rainstorm. Each drop counts. She looked out of the window instead and folded her arms over her chest.
There was another long silence that he decided to break. “I went to lunch at a café today. I haven’t been there before. I don’t think I’m going to go back. The food was all right, but the service was not what I would have wanted it to be.”
She drew in a long deep breath and let it out slowly. “Where was it?” she asked, trying to be conversational.
“Oh, it was over on 72nd street. Just some little hole in the wall. I probably won’t go back.” He didn’t say anymore after that and she wondered what his point was. She forced herself to remember that he might just be being nervous around her, and perhaps he didn’t know what else to say. She found herself comparing him to Alexander, and she knew she shouldn’t, but Alexander and she had shared long conversations on several topics, and not once was any of them ever mundane.
They pulled into the parking area for the restaurant and he walked with her holding her hand again. She told herself that it was romantic, though it didn’t feel that way to her. She was still thinking about it when they walked into the entrance and she heard a familiar voice and looked up to see Alexander Daniels standing a few feet away with a beautiful woman at his side.
Alexander was dressed in a tailored suit and he looked, as he always managed to when he was out, like a James Bond hero. The woman who was with him was just a few inches shorter than he was, with dark brunette hair that was carefully styled and pinned up around her head. She had porcelain skin and big, warm brown eyes. Her features were classic and elegant, and she reminded Mia of Audrey Hepburn in many ways. She was wearing a navy dress that covered most of her, while leaving her arms bare. In her hands was a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and Mia felt her heart stop when she saw all of it.
Logan was mumbling about having to wait when they had reservations and Mia wished that there was somewhere that she could hide, some way to vanish, some way to hide the pain she felt in her heart from showing on her face, but there was no way. Alexander turned then and looked at her and she saw several emotions cross his face.
He looked subtly surprised for a moment, and then hurt, and following that, he looked curious and then annoyed as his eyes moved to Logan who was standing silently beside Mia, still clutching her hand while he looked around the restaurant.
Mia sighed. There was no one else waiting for a table, only the four of them, and they were in such small quarters that there was no way to ignore one another and avoid having to say hello.
She nodded at him and took a few steps toward him. “Hello Alexander,” she said quietly.
“Good evening,” he replied in a monotone voice.
Sighing softly, she indicated Logan. “Alexander, this is Logan Parker. Logan, this is Alexander Daniels.”
Logan looked surprised that she knew anyone there and he smiled and reached his hand out to Alexander. Alexander seemed to give it a snug squeeze before he let it go. He turned to the beautiful woman at his side and smiled at her.
“Emily, this is Mia James and Logan Parker. Logan, Mia, this is Emily Hawthorne.” Emily reached her hand out to shake Mia’s hand, and Mia felt like her heart was going to break right in two at having to shake the hand of the woman that Alexander had taken to the restaurant where he had promised to take her. Somehow, Mia made it through the woman’s gentle handshake, and they smiled at one another.
The maître d’ arrived and nodded to Alexander and Emily. “Right this way,” he said with a smile, and Alexander and Emily nodded at them, while Emily wished them a nice evening and Alexander did the same, his eyes lingering on both Logan and Mia before he turned and walked away.
Mia wanted to turn and run from the restaurant. She wanted to bolt from it as far and as fast as she possibly could, but there was no escape, the damage was already done. It couldn’t get worse from that point.
“How do you know him?” Logan asked curiously as they waited to be seated.
She felt her heart catch in her chest and she tried to act nonchalant. “Oh, he’s a business associate,” she said offhandedly. It was another half-truth. She had worked in his office for one day.
Logan nodded and his attention turned to looking around the restaurant once more. The maître d’ returned and they were seated a few minutes later. She cringed inwardly when she saw that they were seated not far from Alexander and Emily. They were far enough away that there would be no way to overhear conversations, but they were close enough that there was no way not to see them as they dined.
Logan noticed where they were as well and he raised his hand and waved, and Alexander and Emily both nodded back. Logan sat down and looked thoughtful.
“Would you like me to invite them over to dine with us?” he asked, looking up at her.
Mia felt like an earthquake had struck her inside as panic shot through her. “Oh, no… they’re obviously on a date. Let’s let them have their evening and we’ll keep ours to ourselves as well.” She took a long slow breath and tried to still the adrenaline that had shot through her with lightning speed.
They ordered wine and dinner and Mia did her best not to look up at Alexander, but it was unavoidable, and she found herself glancing in his direction more times than she wished to. She was surprised to realize that several of those times, he was looking back at her, though his expression was completely unreadable.
Logan talked on and on about small inane subjects, and she tried to listen and agree now and then, but her mind and her attention were almost entirely focused on the man sitting not too far from her; the man whose eyes continued to peer into her as if there was nothing in her that he could not see.
She wondered at his uncanny ability to look at her that way and she remembered that he had looked at her like that right from the first moment that he had met her. She wished it away to no avail. No matter how subtle she tried to be, she could not hide the fact that her eyes were like a magnet to him, and the more she saw him looking at her, the more she wanted to go to him and explain what had happened, to tell him that she was sorry for everything, and that it had all changed as she had gotten to know him, but there was nothing but space and silence between them, and intense eye contact again and again.
Mia tried her best to focus on dinner and Logan, though it was a considerable struggle for her. As they were finishing their meal, she glanced up at Alexander again, and the intense look in his eyes completely undid her nerve. She wasn’t able to take it any longer.
“Logan,” she said with a small smile, “would you please excuse me? I’m going to the ladies room.”
He nodded and stood up, helping her with her chair as she left, and then he sat back down and she hurried away from the table, trying to still the storm that was becoming a raging tempest inside of her.
She pushed the door open to the ladies room and rushed inside, bending over and trying to catch her breath as emotion cascaded through her like a massive tidal wave. She wasn’t able to push any of it away. She had actually begun to believe that she was going to be able to get over him, particularly by being with Logan, but as the night had worn on, she realized with increasing dismay and worry that she was not going to be able to do any such
thing, and that trying to use Logan to get over Alexander was unfair of her. Logan genuinely liked her, and she knew it, and she didn’t feel the same about him and she knew she never would.
Mia admitted to herself that she was going to have to stop her plan to date Logan. It wasn’t going to go anywhere and he deserved to be with a woman who wanted him for himself, rather than as an escape mechanism. She took one of the face cloths from the basket by the sink, ran it under cool water and then pressed it to her face for a moment, trying to calm herself.
Alexander had moved on. She needed to do the same, but by letting him go, rather than trying to replace him. He was obviously not interested in knowing what had happened, or in knowing what had changed between them. It was something he just didn’t care about and she told herself that she was just going to have to accept that and move on, leaving that conversation behind her. It just wasn’t important to him and he was never going to let her have the moments she so desperately wanted with him to explain everything. He was never going to listen, and it didn’t matter to him. He knew what he knew, and he was not interested whatsoever in anything else. It was hard for her to accept, because it meant so much to her to try to explain it all, but it was never going to happen with him.
She shed a few hot tears, releasing some of the stress in her, and then she wiped them off of her face with the cloth and touched up her hair and makeup. Taking a deep breath she told herself to finish her date with Logan and then tell him that it was best if they only had a business relationship. Then she would never go to Hastings again, because she knew she couldn’t bear to see Alexander with anyone else. It had been a mistake to even go there to begin with, and she was paying dearly for it.
Mia took a deep breath and walked out of the restroom and straight into Alexander’s chest and arms. He reached around her as she walked into him, only to stop her and steady her. She gasped and stared up at him with wide eyes. The feel of his strong arms around her made her heart race so fast she wasn’t sure she could stand it.
