by Alexis Gold
“You don’t have to thank me,” Morgan said finally breaking the hold they had on one another.
Morgan broke away from Calvin and turned towards the door. She stopped suddenly and turned back around, there was something in her eyes that Calvin couldn’t put his finger on. He was in the process of trying to decipher it, when she distracted him with the next words out of her mouth.
“I think our time together has come to a close Calvin,” Morgan said, in a clipped and final way.
Stunned, Calvin could only stare for a moment. “So soon?” he asked.
“Of all my clients, you are the only one who has come so far in such a short amount of time. I don’t think there’s anything more I can do for you.”
“Morgan—”
“This is for the best Calvin, it’s time you learned to swim.”
“And what if I sink?” he asked.
“You won’t,” Morgan said confidently. “That, I’m sure of.”
“I’m not.”
“You’ll just have to wait and see. You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for.”
“I think I still need you,” Calvin said softly.
Morgan felt the pull in her heart but the hurt was overtaking it. She didn’t want him to need her. She wanted him to want her. Morgan reminded herself that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t feel the same way about her. That was not something he could control.
“In time you’ll see that you don’t,” Morgan said. “In fact I don’t think you ever really did in the first place.”
Calvin smiled, and Morgan turned back to the door again.
“Morgan?” Calvin called after her.
Morgan stopped in her tracks, “Yes?”
“You’ve been amazing through this whole process.”
She smiled, and Calvin thought wonderingly why she looked so sad. “Even the other night when you came with me to the charity benefit. I mean… that night was so wonderful because you were with me.”
Morgan smiled, “I think the way it ended might have been the real reason you enjoyed it so much. You finally got the girl of your dreams.”
Calvin nodded, “I owe it all to you.”
“Please,” Morgan said, unexpectedly passionate. “Please don’t say that.”
Calvin’s brows knitted together in confusion. “Morgan?”
“Goodbye Calvin,” Morgan said. “I wish you all the best.”
Before Calvin could form another sentence or even call out after her, she had disappeared through the doors. He stood there in the empty dance studio, surrounded by a dozen massive mirrors, staring at himself from as many different angles. He felt strange, as though he had lost an essential part of himself. He knew it would take some adjusting to grow accustomed to life without Morgan in it. He had become so attuned to her, so comfortable with her, that he had forgotten all his neurosis, and in forgetting he had learned the confidence that Morgan had always claimed he’d had.
By the time Calvin had walked back out to the parking lot, Morgan had disappeared. He hadn’t even been able to offer her a ride back to the office. It was only a short walk away, but he would have been grateful for that extra time with her. He felt empty now that he knew he wouldn’t see her again. He had forgotten in the midst of everything that had happened in the past few weeks that he had hired her. He saw her now, only as a friend.
Calvin got into his car and drove back home. Once he was back home, he rooted through his closet, filled now with the clothes Morgan had picked out for him. He thought momentarily of calling Morgan and asking her what he should wear, but he decided against it. She had ended their business relationship, she had told him to swim. He had to at least attempt to try.
He laid out a pair of black pants, a white shirt and a stylish black vest. Just after he had finished, the doorbell rang and he rushed to answer it, hoping irrationally that it would be Morgan on the other side. It turned out to be Steven and Randy. As he opened the door, they cheered loudly. Calvin laughed.
“What are you guys doing here?”
“It’s the big night,” Randy said. “You think we were gonna miss it?”
“You’re not coming on this date with me if that’s what you’re thinking,” Calvin said firmly.
Steven laughed, “I managed to talk Randy out of it, but we did want to come by and wish you luck before you headed out.”
Calvin smiled gratefully, “Come on in. I have about an hour before I need to get ready.”
They settled into the living room, and both Steven and Randy made themselves comfortable, propping their feet up on the coffee table. Calvin brought them some cold beer from the fridge.
“So how are you feeling?”
Calvin thought about it and he felt surprisingly calm. “Pretty okay actually.”
“Not nervous?”
“Not just yet,” he admitted.
Randy let out a low whistle, “Our boy has come far.”
“Mostly because of Morgan,” Calvin said immediately.
“Speaking of Morgan,” Steven said. “Man, she’s hot.”
Randy let out another whistle, “Tell me about it. How did you manage to concentrate on anything when she was around? That girl is fine.”
Calvin smiled, “She is beautiful, but she and I are friends.”
“You’re sure?” Steven asked again.
Calvin rolled his eyes, “I’ve told you guys that before.”
Steven looked thoughtful, “Well then if that’s the case, you wouldn’t mind if I asked her out would you?”
Calvin hadn’t expected that. His eyebrows shot up, the smile slid off his face, but he tried to remain nonchalant about the whole thing. He wondered why his reaction had been so uncomfortable. “You want to ask her out?” Calvin asked.
“Yes,” Steven replied. “We spoke a little at the charity ball—”
“When?” Calvin interrupted abruptly.
“I think you were off with Sasha.”
“Oh,” Calvin said, he had forgotten about that. “Right.”
“So… do you mind?”
“Mind?”
“Asking Morgan out,” Steven repeated pointedly. “Geez Calvin, keep up.”
Calvin tried hard to ignore the grating he felt in the pit of his stomach. He knew that if he were being honest he would mind, he would mind a great deal. Calvin knew he had no right to, however. He had no hold on Morgan, especially since he was going out on a date with a woman that he had been in love with for almost four years. He shouldn’t be feeling this conflicted about Steven and Morgan dating.
“Sure,” Calvin said trying to sound convincing. “I have no problem with that.”
Suddenly, he remembered their kiss from the other night, and he couldn’t seem to dislodge it from his memory. He got up quickly, trying to shake the memory, and replace it with one of Sasha. “I should get ready for my date,” he said making his way to his room.
“Hey wait!” Steven called after him. “Can you give me Morgan’s number first?”
“You’re going to call her now?” Calvin asked. “I just left her. She’s really busy.”
“I’ll call her tonight then,” Steven said easily.
Calvin had no choice but to hand over her number. He walked back to his room and changed, but the whole time he kept thinking about how wrong Morgan and Steven would be together.
***
Calvin couldn’t help but admire how pretty Sasha looked as she motioned him into her apartment. Her strapless, sequined mini dress started spinning and dancing the more lights she turned on. Her legs looked like they went on for miles. Their night had gone smoothly, it was the best first date Calvin had ever been on. He hadn’t stammered or stuttered once, and slowly his confidence had grown over the course of the night.
Calvin had planned every detail of their night. He had reserved a private room at the Starlight room, where they had been served a seven course meal accompanied by champagne that Calvin had personally picked out. Afterwards, he had prese
nted her with a long stemmed rose and then they had gone down a few floors to the hotel’s ballroom for the dance that was being hosted there. That was the only point in the night where Calvin’s nerves had kicked in, but he had managed to hide it masterfully. The only time he had broken into a sweat was when they had been about to start dancing. His palms kept sliding out from Sasha’s.
“You should wash them,” Sasha had told him, and he had taken her advice, wishing however, that she had simply waved off his problem like Morgan had.
He knew that Sasha was having a good time. He knew that she was taken with him and impressed by this attention to detail. He had curbed his impulse to throw money at the date however, feeling as though that would make her feel bought. He kept it as simple as he was capable of doing considering the number of times he had planned this date with this woman. Calvin drove her home in silence, but she kept her hand on his leg the whole time. Calvin wasn’t surprised when she invited him in.
Sasha’s apartment was small and slightly untidy, but she had obviously sprayed it with air freshener, because the place smelled lemony fresh. She led him to her sofa and sank down into it next to him. She moved closer to him immediately. She had kept steady physical contact with him the whole night. She was constantly touching his arms or chest, constantly leaning in beside him, as though she wanted to be close. He couldn’t deny that he was thrilled by it; it was a heady experience.
“I had a great night,” Sasha told him, leaning in and kissing his ear. Her hand snaked up to his vest, undoing the buttons.
“I’m glad,” Calvin said shyly.
She leaned in and kissed him. Calvin allowed her to take the lead, but he found her mouth strangely uncomfortable on his. He tried angling his face to the side, and that helped. He relaxed, allowing himself to be taken in by her lips. She was skilled, with her tongue and her hands, and he felt himself responding to her body against his. As things began to heat up between them, he reached over and pulled her on top of him, so that she was straddling him comfortably.
“Oh God,” she whispered into his ear. “I wish I had met you sooner.”
Calvin’s eyes flew open. He pushed her back gently, breaking the kiss.
“What is it?” Sasha asked looking down at him with her large doe eyes that made it hard for him to concentrate.
“You wish you had met me sooner?” he repeated.
Sasha smiled down at him, “Yes. I really like you Calvin.”
Calvin felt his excitement deflate suddenly.
“We have met before, remember?”
“Oh yes, I remember you mentioning that,” Sasha said. “You must have been mistaken though. You’re probably confusing me with someone else.”
“I’m not,” Calvin insisted. “We’re met several times before actually.”
“Well, we met at the charity ball of course,” Sasha said breathlessly, looking a little confused.
“No, I mean before that.”
“We’ve never met before that night,” she said.
Calvin was feeling more and more undone, and somehow, more and more foolish. “A kid on a skateboard stained your clothes... his burrito sent sauce stains everywhere,” he prompted, somewhat desperately.
“Oh,” Sasha said, recalling the memory. “I think I do remember. That was my favorite skirt. It was really expensive to get it dry cleaned too, but you were there?”
“I was the guy who handed you the tissue,” Calvin said.
Sasha looked surprised, “Really? I don’t remember that.”
“It wasn’t that long ago.”
“I’m sorry,” she said casually. “I don’t usually remember faces. I’ve been so distracted lately.”
“You really can’t remember me at all? I had longer hair and I wore glasses.”
Sasha smiled, “Whoa. You would have looked really different.”
“I did.”
“That probably explains it.”
“Explains what?”
“Why I feel like the charity was the first time you and I have met.”
Calvin felt drained, and the weight of Sasha on top of him made him feel claustrophobic suddenly. Sasha took his silence as a sign that she could start kissing him again. She started along the ridge of his neck and worked her way up, running her tongue up and down slowly. Calvin tried to concentrate, but the stirrings he had felt before had dissipated completely. He tried to forget everything and lose himself in the moment, but his mind jumped suddenly to Morgan. She had asked him a question about Sasha once. She had asked him how Sasha treated him the few times they had exchanged words. She had always been polite; nice enough, but now Calvin wondered if that was enough.
“Mmm…” Sasha sighed amidst the kissing. “You’re so handsome.”
Calvin felt somewhat unsettled by the compliment. He remembered Morgan’s voice again telling him that he was enough. That was back when he had long hair, dorky glasses and no charm whatsoever. She had told him then that he needed someone who would see how special he was just as he was. Sasha’s hands slid down to his pants zipper, but Calvin clasped her hands together and gently stopped her.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I… I’m sorry…, but could we talk for a little while?”
Her eyebrows hit the ceiling, and she looked at him in real shock. “You want to talk?” she asked incredulously.
“I would like to,” Calvin replied.
She looked immensely deflated as she got off Calvin’s lap and sat back down next to him. She stared off in another direction, obviously never having experienced anything like this before. Calvin found that he was not as embarrassed as he might have been a few weeks ago. He knew that sex was not something he wanted with Sasha at this moment.
“What do you want to talk about?” Sasha asked sounding slightly perplexed.
“Anything,” Calvin said. “Do you have siblings?”
“A sister,” Sasha replied, looking confused.
“Are you close to her?”
“Not really,” she shrugged.
They descended back into silence. Calvin knew that he had to make the attempt. “What did you study in college?”
“Business and Law,” she said, sounding mildly annoyed.
“You enjoyed it?” he continued.
Sasha shrugged.
Calvin knew that her mood had shifted. This was probably the first time in her life that a man had cut short a make out session. He decided to make one more stab at conversation. “Do you like cats?” Calvin asked suddenly, not sure himself, where the question had come from.
Sasha looked at him as though he were crazy, “Cats?”
“Yes,” Calvin repeated. “Do you like them?”
“Umm no,” Sasha replied. “I don’t actually. I’m more of a dog person.”
“Oh.”
“What about you?” she asked, attempting to keep the conversation going.
“Actually,” Calvin said mostly to himself. “I really like cats.”
A few minutes later, Calvin said goodnight and walked himself out of Sasha’s home wondering how strange life was. He had spent so much time pining after this woman. All his fantasies of her had been the most exciting of his life, and yet, he had just spent the last three hours with her and the date had been good, it had been pleasant, but it hadn’t changed him in any way. Calvin knew he had been expecting that. He knew that his feelings were confused by the knowledge that Sasha had not noticed him before Morgan had transformed him. He wondered if perhaps she had not really taken notice of him at all, but rather that she had only seen his clothes, his new, clean-shaven face and his money.
Calvin went back home and got into bed, feeling as though he had lost something vital, something essential. He just didn’t know what it was.
The Final Chapter
The next day, Calvin woke up in a state of mild confusion. His dreams had been of a beautiful woman with shiny gold hair that morphed into an African princess without any hair at all. It was only after a few mi
nutes that Calvin remembered his date with Sasha last night and the way it had ended. He had a quick shower and walked into his kitchen in his boxers, trying to shake the sad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was trying to distract himself when the doorbell rang and he went to get it.
“Whoa,” Randy said from the door way. “You look terrible.”
“Thanks buddy,” Calvin said listlessly.
“Really man,” Steven agreed with Randy. “You don’t look so good.”
“I just didn’t sleep that much last night.”
Randy and Steven immediately burst into a series of loud wolf whistles. Calvin shook his head at them and waited for them to settle down.
“Will you’ll shut up?” Calvin said finally. “It’s not like that. I mean I slept badly okay?”
“Well that went from awesome to pathetic really fast,” Randy pointed out.
All three took a seat in the living room, Calvin was aware he was being watched by both of them. “What?” he snapped, slightly short tempered because of his sleepless night.
“Your date?” Steven said obviously. “We want to know how the date went man.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
“She doesn’t remember meeting me at all,” Calvin said. “Before my image change that is.”
“At all?” Randy asked.
“Nope.”
“Did you remind her?”
“I did.”
“And still nothing?”
“Nada.”
Randy and Steven exchanged a look. Steven was on the verge of saying something, when Calvin’s cell phone began to ring. He looked down at the number and saw Sasha’s name on his screen.
“It’s Sasha,” he informed Randy and Steven.
He went to his bedroom and answered the call.
“Hello? Calvin?”
“Hi Sasha,” Calvin replied.
“You’re up.”
“Just barely.”
“I can call back later,” she said.
“No don’t worry about it,” Calvin insisted. “What’s up?”
