Unbearable Arms (The Grizzly Next Door 4)

by Aya Morningstar

  See?

  He shoved the tree up with only a fraction of his full strength, and it flew a few feet, spinning, and then crashed to the ground and rolled a few feet farther. The branches bent and crushed as it rolled.

  He shifted back, turned, and saw Violet gaping in astonishment next to Haller.

  “That was fucking stupid, man,” Demian said.

  “Jealous?” Asher asked.

  “Yeah,” Haller said. “Kind of.”

  “Did you feel like yourself?” Alex asked. “What little we had transcribed from the book said that the tooth can corrupt your inner animal.”

  “I’m fine,” Asher said. “Let’s just focus on taking out Andrei.”

  We can kill him alone! his bear said. We don’t need the dumb tiger or the idiot wolf. And the smelly dragon thinks he is so cool...

  Was his inner bear being corrupted? Or was he just full of himself and cocky because Asher had finally found his mate...and mated with her?

  He shook his head, trying to clear it.

  He stood beside Violet and put his hand around her.

  Violet said in a low voice into his ear, “You know you don’t have to fling giant trees around to impress me, right?”

  “Yeah,” Asher said. “Sorry.... I got a little excited.”

  “So that means we really can’t let Andrei have the tooth, right?” Violet asked.

  No! Our tooth! his bear said. Use it to kill our enemies! Protect our mate!

  “I don’t know,” Asher said. “We have some good shifters with us”—he looked at Demian and Haller—“well trained”—then at Alex—“and resourceful. I think we stand a good chance of capturing him. We just need to find him first.”

  “He’s still lying low,” Alex said.

  “What’s that mean?” Violet asked.

  “It means he knows Metin is looking for him,” Alex said, “and also that we’re looking for him. He could hide undetected like this for as long as he wanted.”

  “But he can’t afford to hide,” Asher said “He can’t stand to live without shifting, so he won’t be able to lie low as long as he should.”

  “Right,” Alex said, “and once he starts to make his next move, our intel will catch him.”

  CHAPTER 16

  VIOLET

  They couldn’t risk leaving the safe house, and Andrei had been lying low for days now. That meant that Violet had been getting laid for days too. She wasn’t complaining about the sex, but Asher was on edge.

  She put her hand on his shoulder, and he felt tense.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  “Do you have to keep asking me that?”

  “I just—”

  “Just drop it! I’m fine.”

  They were outside, in the yard near the fallen tree. They’d brought some chairs outside to watch the sunset.

  “Sorry,” she said.

  He’d put the tooth on a necklace, and she’d caught him clutching it, rubbing his fingers up and down it. Whenever he thought she was looking, he’d stop. But it seemed to be getting worse.

  “Are you sure I can’t call Laurence and Lina and let them know I’m okay? Doesn’t Alex have some encrypted thing he sends messages with?”

  “I know you don’t want them to worry,” Asher said, “but try to think like Andrei. He knows by now that you had the tooth, and he knows you’re hiding and will want to contact people who are worried about you.”

  She sighed. “And so if I do contact them, I could put them in danger. Yeah, I got it.”

  He squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry,” he said. “Once I kill Andrei, we’ll be safe.”

  “So you’re just going to kill him now?” she asked.

  “He’s too dangerous,” Asher said. “Once he’s dead, I’ll be able to protect you and everyone else. No one will have a reason to hurt us.”

  “How will you unbind the tooth if you just kill him? What if the book is hidden somewhere and that secret dies with him?”

  He stroked her hand and then said, “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Asher,” she said, “look at me.”

  He looked at her, but he seemed nervous holding her gaze.

  “You do want to unbind the tooth, right?” she asked.

  He let out a long breath and then said, “It’s not that I don’t want to. I want to live a normal life, and having the biggest gun, so to speak, is the best deterrent. Think about it. The stronger I am, the less likely it is that I’ll actually need to fight! With the tooth, no one will want to mess with me again!”

  She pulled her hand away. “Except for, uh, Metin. And the entire U.S. military infrastructure that supports and funds him. Didn’t you say they wanted to let Andrei find the tooth so they could use it as a weapon? Maybe if Metin finds out that you’re bound to it, you’ll never be rid of him. You’ll be his weapon.”

  “Jesus,” he said, “just fucking drop it. You’ve been involved in this for—what, five days and now you’re some brilliant military strategist?”

  She stood up, and anger flared up hot in her chest. “I really hope that it’s the tooth that is turning you into such a giant dick and not that you were just a huge asshole all along.”

  “I’m sorry, Violet. I just—”

  “No,” she said. “Listen to yourself. Really think about what you’re saying, and think about how it feels for me to hear that.”

  She stomped off with her fists balled. No one was getting laid tonight.

  CHAPTER 17

  ASHER

  “Suit up!” Alex shouted. “Andrei’s revealed himself.”

  “How’d you track him?” Demian asked.

  “Money,” Alex said. “Big transfer just went through on one of the accounts we flagged him with. He hid it really well, but not well enough.”

  Gonna bite his head off and eat his bones! his bear roared. Asher felt himself nearly shaking in anticipation.

  Violet had avoided him almost entirely since the day before, and the scariest thing was that his bear didn’t even seem to care. The hornball bear who had talked nonstop about “sperms” and cubs had turned into a bloodthirsty maniac, and the inner bear was not some separate creature—Asher knew. It was Asher himself.

  He’d tried his best to ignore it and compartmentalize it, to let the split of human and beast become like water and oil, but when the bear reached an extreme emotion, it leaked into Asher himself.

  He worried that holding it back would be like a drug addict quitting cold turkey, and with one relapse he’d fall entirely back into his old habit.

  Most of all he feared shifting. He hadn’t shifted since the tree, and the need to shift was growing intense. If he shifted, however, he feared he’d lose control entirely and give into pure bloodlust.

  With Violet’s help, he realized that he had to unbind from the tooth, buy his bear would have none of it.

  “Alex,” Asher said, “can I talk to you?’

  “We don’t have time—”

  Asher got in his face and glared at him. He gritted his teeth and said, “It’s important.”

  Alex pulled him into an empty room. “What?”

  “I can’t shift,” Asher said.

  “You mean like Andrei—”

  “No,” Asher said. “My bear is...corrupted, just like you said. I’m fighting him, but I don’t know how long I can last. I don’t think I can shift, or—”

  Alex squeezed his arm. “You’re strong enough without shifting, and you’re good with weapons. You shouldn’t need to shift.”

  “I’m trained to fight as bear and human,” Asher said. “It’s instinct for me to shift in the heat of battle. Without that...”

  “You’ll be okay,” Alex said. “That woman out there? She needs you, and I think she loves you. If you’re worried you’ll lose control, just think of her. Think of what you’re fighting for.”

  His bear started shouting something about “tasty blood,” but he shoved it down until it was just a muted mumble.

  “What
are you fighting for?” Asher asked.

  “I’m fighting to not have to fight anymore. I’ve fought like this my whole life. You’re not even the first big dumb grizzly I’ve fought with.”

  “I’ll be a psychopath grizzly if we don’t get to Andrei soon. And what about you? You have a mate somewhere?””

  “No such luck,” Alex said. “But maybe I’ll find mine someday.”

  Asher slapped him on his shoulder and squeezed, but he saw Alex wince.

  “Shit,” Asher said. “Sorry. I forgot I’m stronger. I hope you find your mate, man. And thanks.... I’ll remember what I’m fighting for and try not to lose control.”

  ***

  They’d left Violet at the safe house with hired guards trusted by Alex’s clan elders. Asher still didn’t feel good about it, and he worried every moment for her, but she was safer there than assaulting Andrei’s headquarters with them. They flew in on Alex’s back under the cover of night. Andrei’s hideout was an old lumber mill in the woods, about thirty miles outside the city.

  The rushing wind bit cold into Asher, but his blood was hot, and he burned with rage every time he thought of Andrei and Metin. It was getting harder and harder to keep his bear at bay. He didn’t even speak anymore, just roared and frothed in rage. How long until that rage took Asher over completely?

  They landed among the trees, and Alex shifted back once they’d all hopped off.

  Asher had his sniper rifle fully assembled on his back with a night vision scope attached. He also had two pistols and a long knife for close quarters. But he couldn’t shift.

  Demian, Haller, and Alex each had a mini arsenal on their backs in addition to the assault rifles they carried.

  They were going to encircle the complex, count the number of guards, and go from there.

  They split up but kept radio contact via headsets. Asher crawled up through thick brush to get a good view and then turned on his scope. He poked the end of the scope through the foliage just enough to get a view and to avoid exposing himself.

  He got a view of the building but saw nothing. He switched the scope to infrared but saw only cool blues and deep purples. No heat inside. He looked with just his shifter sight, and not a single light was on in the compound.

  His radio cut on, and he heard Alex’s voice. “Nothing from my end.”

  “No one here either,” Demian said.

  A light flicked on, and the door swung open. Asher looked at him through the night vision scope and saw it was a man—not Andrei—walking slowly outside with his hands up.

  “Trap?” Alex asked.

  “It might be,” Asher said, “so let’s see how far out he’ll come. He’s closest to me.”

  The man continued to walk at a steady pace with his arms up, and when he was within shifter earshot, Asher shouted, “Who are you?”

  There was no response from him other than to keep walking. So he was a human?

  He finally shouted, “I have a message for Asher!”

  “That’s me,” Asher said. “You’re close enough now. I’ve got a sniper rifle aimed at your heart.”

  He stopped walking. “The message is from Andrei. If you want Violet, you’ll have to follow my instructions.”

  Asher fired a shot. Through the infrared scope, he saw a chunk of the man’s ear—cool blue on the infrared spectrum—fly off into the air.

  He grunted and fell, clutching his ear. Soon Asher heard laughter. “If you kill me, you won’t be able to get her.”

  “Alex,” Asher said, “tell me he’s bluff—”

  “Fuck!” Alex yelled. “Fucking shit! She’s gone.... It’s my fault—”

  Asher roared and snapped the rifle into pieces. It broke apart with a loud crack, and he swung the barrel like a baseball bat into a tree. Chunks of wood splintered and exploded through the air, and finally Asher broke the barrel in half over his knee.

  He collapsed on the ground and clawed the dirt. He felt a blinding urge to shift. If he shifted, he could lose himself in his fury. He could tear the messenger limb from limb in a fit of rage and delicious bloodlust. He wouldn’t have to feel the pain and loss tearing his heart apart.

  Remember what you’re fighting for. Alex’s voice, not his bear’s.

  He thought of Violet, captured by Andrei and depending on him to keep it together, to be a man for her.

  Finally he shouted across the darkness to the messenger. “What do I do?”

  CHAPTER 18

  VIOLET

  The men guarding her were stiff and boring. They had none of the personality of the SHIFT members, and they avoided even talking to her.

  Only one of the five, Jax, was willing to humor her. He did his best to cheer her up, and when he wasn’t on active guard duty—they seemed to swap off every few hours—he’d joke around with her and keep her company.

  “You want a drink?” Violet asked him, opening the fridge.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Vodka and Coke.”

  She laughed. “There’s Coke.”

  “All right. Close enough.”

  She grabbed a can for him and one for herself.

  She popped it open and took a sip.

  “So you really can’t give me an update?” she asked.

  “We need to keep radio silence unless Alex contacts us,” he said. “Security reasons.”

  “Right,” she said. “I’m getting so bored of security.”

  “You’re telling me,” he said. “I got excited when they told us we were all getting iPads for work. Figured I could play some games on the john between shifts. But no, the thing is locked down so tight and can only run security software. Everything in this business is like that...safe and boring.”

  “You seem significantly less boring than the other guys here,” she said. “So how’d you get stuck doing this?”

  “Well,” he said, “the pay is good. The more money I have, the more fun I can have after work to offset the monotony. And sometimes—just sometimes—the person we’re assigned to guard isn’t a total bore.”

  “Aw,” Violet said, “that’s sweet of you.”

  He grinned. “Going to go check in with Lewis,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

  He left the kitchen, and Violet swirled her Coke around on the table. She was all jittery nerves. He’d be okay, right? She not only had to worry about him being hurt, or worse, but she also had to worry that he’d lose himself to the tooth. So much could go wrong, and all she could do was sit here and drink a fucking Coke.

  “Shit!” Jax’s voice rang out from the living room.

  Moments later he burst back into the kitchen and grabbed Violet by the hand.

  He pulled her up and started to pull her toward the back door.

  “What’s going on?” she asked, but before he could answer, she saw two of the other guards staggering past in a daze.

  One lifted his hand up toward Jax and then collapsed. She didn’t see any blood; it looked almost like poison or drugs.

  She did her best to keep up with Jax, and once they were outside, he forced her into a near sprint across the yard, toward the gate’s opening.

  “They’re coming from the front. We may be able to slip out into the farmland and lose them,” he said.

  “Can you call for more backup?” she asked. “Tell Alex and Asher?”

  “Already done,” he said. “We just have to make it on our own for a little bit.”

  They reached the gate, and he turned the key and opened it. He let her through first.

  She stepped through the gate, and Andrei stood before her.

  “Violet,” he said, “so good to see you.”

  “Jax!” she yelled. She didn’t know if she was asking him to save her or warning him to run away.

  Jax stepped through the gate, but his gun was down.

  “Good work, Jax,” Andrei said. “I knew I could count on your charm.”

  CHAPTER 19

  ASHER

  EIGHT YEARS EARLIER

  Asher rode wi
th Andrei in the back of a Humvee. The driver was Pamir, and in the passenger seat was Taleeb. Both of them were locals turned informants. They’d spotted known Al Qaeda operatives moving through the market in town, but they’d been exposed, and Asher and Andrei had had to get them out. Metin had ordered them to stay in human form so as not to draw attention. Asher saw Andrei looking out the window and gazing at the sky.

  “I hate cars,” Andrei said. Neither Pamir nor Taleeb could hear them over the engine. “I could fly us all out of here in a tenth of the time it will take us to drive.”

  They were driving north to the Uzbek border, and Pamir was driving at half the speed he could have, keeping his eyes open for IEDs.

  “Metin said they’ve got surface to air—”

  “Not out here,” Andrei said. “This far north? Bullshit. He just doesn’t want to expose SHIFT to these two. They risk their asses for us, and now they have to abandon their homes for us, and as a reward they get to putter along this dangerous road when I could lift them out with almost no risk.”

  “Orders,” Asher said. “They suck sometimes.”

  Andrei nodded.

  The Humvee bumped and jostled as they drove. Pamir opened a bag and popped a betel nut into his mouth. He held the bag out to Asher and Andrei.

  No! Asher’s bear whined. So bitter!

  Asher smiled, took one, and then popped it in his mouth. He agreed with his bear and hated the taste, but it was extremely rude to turn down such an offering.

  The earthy and almost metallic bitterness spread across his mouth as he rolled the black nut around in his mouth. He could almost feel the accompanying black stains on his teeth and tongue. After a minute or two he felt the telltale buzzing head rush, as well as the increased alertness. Pamir had been popping in nut after nut to stay alert while driving.

  Andrei took one as well and then said, “Pamir, let me drive. I’ve had time to rest.”