Real Mermaids Don't Sell Seashells

by Helene Boudreau

  “Hello, Mr. Baxter,” Luke and Trey said in unison over the Flunky and Blob laugh track.

  “Dude,” Luke whispered to Trey as he wrestled the remote from him and turned down the volume on the TV.

  Dad sneaked a glance over his shoulder at his room, making me wonder if something was wrong.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  “It’s just…we got a call from the hotel catering staff. Because of all the other weddings and our last-minute plans, they can’t make the sushi I special-ordered for your mom and the cake is a no go. Your mom is on the phone trying to order another cake right now, but it doesn’t look good. Plus, we still won’t know about the officiate until the last minute, and there’s no way the flute player can make it because she was double-booked with another wedding at the Eutopia—”

  “Dad! Slow down,” I said, grasping his arm. The guy was wound up tighter than a ball of Gran’s yarn. This was no way for Mom and Dad to spend their last day in the Bahamas, worrying about whether or not they could get California rolls for their beachside wedding. I owed it to them to take their mind off their troubles, so I looked around the room at Cori, Trey, and Luke, thinking up a plan.

  If the four of us could stop an international drug-smuggling operation, surely we could help Mom and Dad on their special day. “Tell you what—why don’t you guys chill out for the afternoon? What’s done is done, and I’m sure it’s all going to work out.”

  “I don’t know…” Dad looked over his shoulder again to where Mom was on hold with the cake people. It killed me to see the pained look on her face on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life.

  “Well, I know,” I said, going into their room and taking the phone from Mom to hang it up. “Mom. Call Bobbie, Mrs. Blake, and Mrs. Martin. You guys are going to the spa for the afternoon. Dad, get the guys on the phone. There are four of you, right? Perfect for a golf foursome. Make it happen!”

  Luke, Trey, and Cori stood at the door to our room and nodded in agreement.

  “But there’s so much to do!” Mom said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “The food, the music…”

  I looked at all my friends, and Luke smiled at me, realizing I had a plan brewing. We may end up with Cheez-Its and our best rendition of “Gangnam Style” for music, but I knew, despite our disagreements, that if anyone could come up with a solution to Mom and Dad’s last-minute worries, it was the four of us.

  “Leave it to us,” I replied with a smile.

  •••

  Cori and Trey decided they were in charge of music because apparently I have no taste in music, so I decided I’d take care of snacks with Luke because that was an area I definitely excelled in.

  While Cori and Trey went back to the Eutopia to make a wedding playlist on Trey’s iPod and hopefully find a docking station to amplify the music, Luke and I headed to a food market a half mile down the road.

  “Okay, so we have potato chips, pretzels, paper plates, napkins…” I looked in my basket to take inventory and sighed.

  “What’s the matter?” Luke asked.

  “I just don’t know if this is going to cut it,” I replied. “I was really hoping there would be more dessert stuff to choose from since they don’t have a cake, but without an oven or a stove to prepare anything fancier, this looks like the best we’re going to do.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be great,” Luke said. But I could tell he was still hunting around the market shelves for something better.

  “Yeah, but it’s just such a far cry from what my parents ordered earlier this week. My dad had even arranged for my mom’s favorite sushi as a treat, since she loves seafood so much,” I said.

  Luke got a look in his eyes, and I followed him two aisles down where he picked up a box of Rice Crispies.

  “Sushi, huh?” he asked. I followed him to the next aisle, where he grabbed marshmallows and a box of Fruit Roll-Ups. “Trey has this thing he made for a bake sale once. Do you guys have a microwave in your room? And a fridge?”

  “Yeah…” I said slowly. “Why?”

  “Well then, I’ve got you covered,” Luke replied, tossing a final bag in the basket as we got to the cashier. “As long as your mom doesn’t mind gummy worms in her sushi.”

  By the time everyone gathered at the gazebo on the beach below the Alyssum Hotel at sunset, the wind had died down and a light tropical breeze had replaced it.

  Mom and Dad were still getting ready back at the hotel. Everyone else chipped in to decorate and get chairs and a table down to the gazebo since there was no hotel staff to help us. Town Hall had never called us back, so the mood was a lot less festive than we’d planned. We tried to make the best of things, though, and laid out the snacks and drinks and Trey’s special “sushi” that Luke and I had made that afternoon.

  “Hey, those turned out pretty well!” I exclaimed to Luke as guests kept nabbing the sushi treats, which consisted of gummy worms surrounded by marshmallow Rice Crispies and wrapped in green Fruit Roll-Up “seaweed.”

  “Trey made them when our mom told him he had to do his own baking for the skate-park bake sale since he waited until the last minute to tell her about it. I’m telling you—they sold like hot cakes.”

  “Leave it to Trey,” I said with a laugh.

  Rayelle and Dillon arrived just then, and I crossed the gazebo to meet them.

  “You came!” I exclaimed and gave Rayelle a hug. I didn’t care if I barely knew the guy, but I gave Dillon a huge hug too. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  “Thanks,” Dillon said, putting an arm around Rayelle. I snuck a glance at her and gave her a “way to go” eyebrow wiggle. She beamed. “Rayelle told me everything you did for me. I just wanted to make sure I could say thank you before you left to go back home.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t have your back from the very beginning,” I said. “I made up my mind about you before giving you a chance.”

  “Well,” Dillon said with a wry smile, “it’s not like I’m some kind of saint or anything. And anyway, I was the one who was wrong about you.”

  “You mean I’m not a princess after all?” I said with a laugh.

  “Well, maybe a mob princess with the way you took down that cop!” Dillon joked. By then, a few people came over to introduce themselves to Dillon and wish him well.

  I turned to Rayelle. “Hey, where’s your grandma?”

  “Oh, she just has to get something from the van. She’ll be here in a few minutes,” Rayelle said with a vague wave of her hand.

  Cori switched the music on Trey’s iPod to something more wedding-y when we spotted Mom and Dad coming down the steps from the hotel onto the boardwalk to the gazebo.

  “Wow, she looks so pretty,” Cori whispered to me as she placed the iPod in a bowl to try and amplify the sound. She and Trey hadn’t had any luck tracking down an iPod docking station, so that was the best they could do.

  “She really does look beautiful,” I agreed.

  Mom wore a hand-crocheted, antique-white slip dress, and her newly styled hair was perfect with the shell hairpins we’d found at the Straw Market earlier that week. Dad wore his tropical shirt and straw hat, but instead of looking touristy, he actually looked pretty handsome. The goofy sock tan that cut across his legs midcalf didn’t really add to the effect, but the fact he was barefoot along with the rest of the party guests proved how much this vacation had given him the rest and relaxation he and Mom so truly deserved.

  Mom and Dad greeted their guests as they arrived at the gazebo. The Blakes, the Martins, and Bobbie and Eddie were all there. I looked for Trey, but he wasn’t with his parents.

  “Hello, everyone,” Dad said as he handed out champagne and sparkling water. “Micci and I really want to thank you for making the trip to the Bahamas with us. You all know what this means to us, and even though it looks like things aren’t going to work
out with the wedding…” This is where Dad kind of lost it a little and Mom jumped in to finish.

  “What Dalrymple is trying to say is that we consider each and every one of you a part of our family, and even though we can’t make our own family official yet”— Mom looked at me and smiled— “this is more than enough for now.”

  Everyone raised their glasses in a toast, and Dad and Mom came over to give me a big hug. I really couldn’t imagine being happier than just then—knowing that our family was safe and intact again. Sure, it would have been nice to head back to Port Toulouse officially a family, but looking around at Bobbie and Eddie, at Cori and her parents, Luke and his parents, and knowing that Gran was back in Port Toulouse thinking of us, that was all I needed.

  Someone was missing, though.

  “Where is Trey, anyway?” I asked Cori once the toasts were done. “I wanted him to get some of the Rice Crispy sushi treats before they’re all gone.”

  “We got in a big fight about the music because I told him we should put Taylor ’n Tyler’s ‘Make Me Wanna Fly’ on the playlist. He said the song was stupid, and I told him I couldn’t believe he didn’t remember that song was playing the first time we went to the skate park together. He can’t even remember our song.”

  “You make me…” I heard the familiar song fill the air and turned to see where it was coming from. Had the frat boys turned up the volume on the music around the pool? “You make me wanna fly…”

  That’s when I saw Taylor ’n Tyler walking down the steps from the hotel to the beach, hand in hand. They harmonized their hit song together as they approached the gazebo, followed by Trey.

  “What’s going on?” I turned to Cori and whispered. But Cori had her hands to her mouth and her eyes were shining as if she was on the verge of tears. That’s when I realized—Trey had somehow convinced Taylor ’n Tyler to come serenade Mom and Dad on their wedding day to make up for everything with Cori.

  “You make me wanna fly,

  So high, so high,

  Like bubbles in the sky…”

  Faye arrived right behind them, blowing bubbles from a small container. Taylor handed out more bubble containers to the rest of the guests from a basket she was carrying, and soon we were all blowing bubbles and the sky was filled with wispy globes of awesome.

  Tyler held out his hand to help Faye into the gazebo. It seemed so natural for her to be there, considering everything we’d been through that week, but I was a bit confused by the official-looking book Faye was holding.

  “Dearly beloved…” Faye held out her arms to get everyone’s attention. “We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman.”

  “Pardon?” My dad turned to Faye, wondering what she was doing.

  “Surprise!” a voice called out, and I realized it came from the iPad Trey was holding. It was Gran, joining the party via Skype.

  “Trey!” Cori gushed. “You did all this?”

  “I’ll take credit for the iPad, but Taylor ’n Tyler volunteered when I explained the situation with the bumped reservation,” Trey said, popping a sushi snack in his mouth. Cori hugged him and whispered something in his ear, which sounded like an apology for being so hard on him.

  “And my grandma has been working to renew her officiate’s license all week since she heard about the wedding,” Rayelle chimed in. “She just didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.”

  Faye gathered Mom and Dad at the front of the gazebo, and Mom reached out her hand for me to join them. Faye opened the ceremony with a beautiful poem about the infinity of love and oceans, followed by the more formal part of the ceremony with words like “love” and “trust” and “commitment.”

  By the time Mom and Dad were ready to exchange their vows, a lump the size of a golf ball had lodged itself in my throat and I had to squeeze my eyes shut for a second to keep from crying.

  “Dalrymple,” Mom began. “We may have gone through life so far without a paper to prove how committed we are to each other, but from the first day we met, your spirit belonged to me and mine to you in a way no ceremony could define.”

  Dad wiped his cheek and joined his hands with Mom’s once more. “Michaela. Whoever thought a guy like me could be lucky enough to not only love a woman like you but have that love returned to him tenfold? You are my life, my love, my forever.”

  By then, everyone was pulling tissues out of their handbags or blinking uncontrollably. I caught Cori clutching a bottle of bubbles to her chest, hanging on every word, while Gran peeped out from the iPad, blowing her nose in a big hankie.

  “Michaela and Dalrymple,” Faye said, “with these vows, you have dedicated yourselves to one another and have agreed to live together in matrimony. I now pronounce you—husband and wife.”

  Mom and Dad looked at each other for a moment then laughed, not really knowing what to do next.

  “Well, go on!” Faye said to Dad. “Kiss your bride!”

  •••

  It was dark and the moon was out by the time the wedding was over, and the hotel finally delivered the food for our afterparty. Everyone stood around the gazebo chatting, eating, and drinking, and the sound of happy laughter filled the air. Luke came to find me and took my hand to lead me down the gazebo stairs to the beach.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “I thought we’d gather some intel before we headed back to Port Toulouse,” Luke said. “They’ve been talking for over half an hour. Who knows what we’ve missed already?”

  That’s when I spotted Trey and Cori sitting on the boardwalk.

  “Should we really be spying on them?” I asked, a guilty feeling accumulating in my chest as we hid behind one of the pillars supporting the gazebo overhead.

  “How else are we going to get the story on those two?” Luke asked. Then he produced something wrapped in a napkin for me. “Plus, I brought snacks. It was the last one.”

  “Candy sushi…you really know the way to a girl’s heart,” I said, taking a bite.

  Shh, Luke rang to me. We’re missing all the good stuff.

  “That was really sweet of you with the music, Trey,” Cori said from a few dozen feet away on the boardwalk.

  “Yeah, but I’ll have you know—that romantic stuff isn’t normal for me,” Trey said. “But that’s what you deserve, Cori. Not the goofball I’ve been lately.”

  “That’s just it, though. I like that you’re a goofball,” Cori said. “I’m just not sure that’s what I want in a boyfriend.”

  “And I don’t know if I can be the kind of boyfriend you want,” Trey replied. “So does that move me into the friend zone, then?”

  “I’m not sure,” Cori said, and I could tell from the sound of her voice that this was hard for her.

  “’Cause that’s cool if that’s the way it’s gotta be,” Trey said. “I just want to stop ticking you off all the time.”

  Cori was silent for a moment. “And I want to stop being ticked off at you for just being you. So yeah, I think the friend zone might be better.”

  “Cool,” Trey said.

  “Up high?” Cori raised her hand and gave Trey a high five. They hugged it out then stood up and joined everyone back in the gazebo.

  “Well, there you have it,” Luke said as we emerged from under the gazebo and continued walking down the beach.

  “Is that going to be weird?” I asked. “Cori and Trey being just friends?”

  “Weird how?” Luke asked as we reached the water and waded in up to our ankles.

  “I dunno. Now that they’re just friends, does that change anything for us?” I asked.

  “Well…” Luke said in a teasing voice as he grasped me by the waist. “We can be ‘just friends’ too if you really want to.”

  “Are we talking friends-friends or kissy-friends?” I whispered as he pulled me close.

  “Oh, defin
itely kissy-friends,” Luke said, glancing up at the moon. “Wouldn’t want to waste this perfect opportunity.”

  That’s when Luke finally kissed me under the moonlight, making everything that had happened that week fall away.

  “I’m kind of digging this kissy-friends status,” I murmured between kisses, our foreheads touching.

  “Me too,” Luke replied.

  New friends, old friends, new beginnings, fresh starts. Wasn’t that what life was all about?

  And to top it all off, I think I saw a dolphin jump out over the water in the moonlight just as Luke leaned in for another kiss.

  If I could get all that on a T-shirt, I totally would.

  You don’t need to like fish to like sushi!

  Here’s what you’ll need:

  •4 tablespoons butter

  •4 cups mini marshmallows

  •6 cups crispy rice cereal

  •20 gummy worms

  •2 boxes of green Fruit Roll-Ups (for the seaweed!)

  Plus:

  •12 x 17” cookie sheet lined with wax paper

  •nonstick cooking spray

  In the microwave:

  1.Melt the butter in a microwaveable bowl for about 10 seconds (or until completely melted).

  2.In a separate bowl, melt the marshmallows for 30 seconds at a time until completely melted, stirring each time you take the bowl out of the microwave.

  Then:

  1.Add the butter to the marshmallow mixture and stir.

  2.Add the crispy rice cereal one cup at a time to the marshmallow/butter mixture and stir until well blended.

  3.Spray the wax paper with nonstick cooking spray.

  4.Pour out the cereal/marshmallow mixture onto the wax paper and flatten it to about 1 inch thick with a greased rolling pin (or your hands if you don’t mind getting sticky!).

  5.Let the rice crispy treat mixture cool.

  6.Working from the short end of the baking sheet, place a line of gummy worms across the rice crispy treats, about an inch from the edge.