His to Own (His to Own #1)

by Autumn Winchester

  I felt Zachariah stiffen under me, most likely already piecing things together.

  “Did you get a name?” I asked, sitting up a bit straighter.

  “Of course,” Travis smiled. “We share the same father.”

  A pregnant pause filled the air before Jonas and Zachariah cussed at the same time.

  “I killed him,” Travis said. “After meeting him, I knew Cody put him up to being a part in all this, and he wouldn’t stop. Cody promised him money. I offered him his life in turn for keeping you safe, Avidya. Gemini was Aaron's younger brother who tended to do just about anything to get whatever he wanted, money or no money.”

  “And my mother?” I asked, fearing the answer.

  “Is alive,” Travis said.

  Chapter 32

  Avidya

  I wasn’t sure what to feel. The news that Rachael was, in fact, alive was not the news I had expected, nor thought of having. I never thought to think about the possibilities of her being living and breathing. I had just gathered that she was no longer living. Why hope for something when I was sure it would never happen?

  So now, the question was – where was she? Did she know where I was? Or even who I was?

  “Where is Rachael, then?” Zachariah asked out. “I’m assuming somewhere no one was able to track her down at so easily.”

  “She’s in a mental hospital,” Travis answered. “I did a lot of digging to figure out where she was, alive or not. Took a bit of time to do so. I didn’t want to draw attention to what I was doing.”

  “Why there?” Jonas asked.

  “Not entirely sure,” Travis shrugged. “Could be there for her safety, since there are rumors that a few people want her dead, or she could be there because she’s mentally unstable. I wasn’t able to see her. Apparently, she had requested no one to visit her.

  “I did give her receptionist my phone number along with Zach’s,” he went on. “Maybe she’ll change her mind about wanting people to visit if she knows you are looking for her.”

  “You told them to give her a message, I assume?” Zachariah asked.

  “Everything apparently goes through her doctor, so hopefully Rachael will get the message. Then call one of us soon,” Travis answered.

  “Do you think they believe you? You said there were people that wanted her dead,” I spoke up.

  “Yes,” Travis replied, seeming happy that I spoke up. “I’m sure she’ll call once she knows you have found out the truth.

  “When I was looking at old police records to track her down, she reported that my mother was murdered instead of the reported overdose. That had me thinking and I found a number of her reports that she made.

  “Rachael was a bit paranoid about a lot of things and probably for good reason too. Lynn, you, and I are the only living family she has. Her parents were murdered and that case is still opened today.

  “I’m assuming Cody and Aaron could be behind it, as they both have a shady background but never had anything stick to them.

  “With Gem pulled in, I have no doubt that Rachel is trying to keep under the radar, no matter if she truly is mentally unstable or not,” he finished.

  “Only way to know is to talk to her,” Zachariah sight out. “Which can be a feat in itself.”

  “That could be,” Travis replied as he sat up and leaned against the couch. “Figured we’d let her think things over and then if she doesn’t call us in a week or so, I’d go try again.”

  “It’s a start,” Zachariah said after a moment of thought. “You happen to find anything about Lynn? She’s been missing for a couple of weeks now.”

  “No,” Travis answered. “I’ll ask around and get feelers on it. She may have gone to her sister, too. They were pretty close once.”

  Then looking at only me as I sat on Zachariah’s lap with his arms around me, Travis spoke. “I am sorry for what you’ve been put through, Avidya. Aaron was the man that his father brought up and neither of us should have been in the crossfire because of it.

  “I’m sure we have other half siblings out there, but we will be the only ones that are more like cousins, or at least should have been. We may have a messed-up family, but the Melendez family will protect you as their own. Being a part of a mafia made family does have its perks,” he said with a wink at the end.

  “My girl is certainly already loved by the entire family that has met her,” Zachariah stated proudly. I had only met a handful of them, and I was perfectly fine with that.

  “You do know that Avidya should be right where she is, right?” Jonas said in a lazy manner. “Hartwell’s and Melendez are – were - two powerful families. The Hartwell’s are no longer powerful, as there really isn’t much left of them but you two,” Jonas said, glancing between Travis and myself. “But Avidya and Zach, you two would have been pushed together one way or another.”

  “Finding fate in your old life, man?” Travis joked, which caused Jonas to lightly smack Travis on the shoulder.

  I briefly wondered how my life could have been different growing up. Would Travis and I be like brothers, then? We shared the same father, but different mothers. One messed up the family for sure.

  “Are you okay?” Zachariah whispered in my ear from behind me.

  “I don’t know,” I answered, not entirely sure myself. So much information, so much to take in and think about.

  I would be okay in time. There was only so much I could handle, but I’d be happy in the end, hopefully.

  “So, when’s the wedding?” Travis asked out, startling me.

  “What?” I asked, not understanding the question at first.

  “In two weeks,” Zachariah answered right after me.

  “Do I get an invite?” Travis asked in a form of a joke.

  “Do you have a date to bring?” Zachariah asked out in return as his body shook with silent laughter.

  “Of course, I would have a date!” Travis replied in shock. “I did meet a girl who would love to meet you all. She’s amazing.”

  “Can’t wait to meet her. I’d hate to kill her if she’s not right for you,” Jonas said in mock seriousness.

  “She knows about . . . my life. She happened to save my life a few months back. I owed her my story in exchange to get her help,” Travis answered. “There is no way you will ever kill her. She’s a bit . . . different with keeping me on my toes.”

  “The best ones are, or so I’ve heard,” I stated, shooting a look through my eyelashes at the man behind me. I was rewarded with a look of need from him.

  “You should invite her over sometime. Maybe we can go to dinner together,” Zachariah hinted after I swallowed hard.

  “I’m not sure your . . .” Travis trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

  “She knows I’m a Dom, Travis,” Zachariah stated. “She may not know too much about it, but I think she’ll adjust well enough.”

  “Oh?” Travis asked, surprised.

  “I do have an open mind,” I huffed out, but not upset the slightest. “Just don't do any funny business, and I’ll keep my concerns and questions to myself.”

  “You really are different,” Travis said with a small, hopeful smile my way. “The way Cody always was . . .”

  “I never did like his ways,” I said with a shrug. “And I hope to learn more about this whole . . .” I waved my hand around the room. “Lifestyle choices.”

  “It’s amazing, Avidya,” Travis said, his eyes a bit glossy at the thought of it. “Being able to let someone else take charge is freeing. You won’t regret it, even if it does take a bit of time to fully understand and be able to experience it all. There’s so much more than giving yourself to someone. So much more.”

  “Can we please talk about something else now,” Jonas nearly whined out, causing the other two men to laugh at his expense and me to blush. Just because I was opened minded, somewhat, didn’t mean I wanted to know everything right then and there.

  There would be plenty of time for that later after Zachariah and I
could talk about the beginning stages.

  Chapter 33

  Zachariah

  If I waited for the perfect time, it would never arrive. I knew Avidya was out sorts with all the information that she was processing. So much had happened in such little time. For us to move forward at all, and for her to be ready on our wedding night, I had to get things moving, at least a little bit. It wouldn’t do any good to put it off any longer.

  I had her choose the natural place that she would feel most comfortable to go over the agreement contract. It was only right for her to pick the place, as I knew what I wanted in the long run. I’d go at her pace; couldn’t scare her away now that she seemed to be more willing to enter into my world fully.

  Being part of the mafia family, one that was powerful but yet stayed undetected to an extent, was only part of my life. I wanted her to enjoy every aspect of our life together. I wanted her to be happy and to figure out who she was as a person, not a child that was kept in the dark about the world.

  Sitting out on the back porch, the stained-glass table between us as we both took seats in the white wicker chairs, I couldn’t help but look her over again. Every time I saw Avidya, she took my breath away. Today, her blue eyes seemed brighter, but that would have been from the nice warm day. The warm days were slowly being limited, and she always made sure to spend some time outside before the weather turned cold. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, the end of it over her left shoulder, hiding her strap on the dark blue tank top she wore.

  “So, this here,” I tapped the small pile of stacked papers that were placed in the middle of the table. “Is what is called a contract. Nothing in this is binding legally. An agreement in the lifestyle I live day to day is needed so both parties are on the same page in understanding one’s needs and wants. It helps so we are both knowledgeable on what we both want out of each other, and on what we expect to happen.

  “We will go over and discuss everything that is typed and printed, word for word. I don’t want you to fear my lifestyle at all. Being open about everything is the only way for us to be able to communicate to keep fears and doubts away,” I explained. I watched how her eyes jumped from the pages back to my eyes, as though she was trying to understand it all.

  “I’ll answer any of your questions and concerns, as I’m sure you will have some. And not just today, but at any time, day or night,” I went on. I had to make it clear that her feelings were part of this, everything was a part of it. “We will go at your pace like I’ve told you before. The best place to start is here, lining out everything so you know what to expect. I have books upon books that can help, also.”

  “So, you’re a full-time dom?” she asked, giving me a blink at her question.

  “In some aspects, I tend to be, yes, though I don’t want a slave,” I answered slowly, gathering she read of the beginner books that I have left out on my desk. I didn’t actually think she would even take a second glance at it. “I like control, but never cause a ton of pain, ever. I only give what you can take. If you can’t take more than a spanking here and there, then that will as far as it’ll go.

  “So, I gather you looked at the book I left out,” I stated.

  “Maybe,” she blushed bright red. “Not much of it. I wanted to know things, and . . . I don’t know how to ask you about it all, or if I should.”

  “You can always ask,” I stated. “In fact, I expect you to ask. And I expect you to be honest about what you feel. I left it out for you to look at, figuring it was the best place for you start if you wanted to know anything. How far did you get?”

  “Not far,” she answered, her blush still in place. “I read what BDSM means, and how many different ways you can take it. It’s not . . . all too frightening. I don’t like the idea of being tied up or given pain while doing so. Or being stripped of my dignity.”

  “You may change your mind about being tied up, but I will never take away your dignity. Never,” I promised.

  The whole pain thing would come later when she was more comfortable in how she responded and what she wanted. “I don’t ever want to make you feel embarrassed, that is not how I do things.

  “BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. Each word can be taken in a number of ways. It all depends on how each couple views the act.

  “For me,” I summed up, guessing she already understood what the term was. “I am mostly into the dominance and submission, especially inside the bedroom. I won’t ever make you dress day to day a certain way, or have you eat something you hate, just because I want it. I want you to dress modestly, like the clothes that have been bought for you already. I don’t mind if you want to change anything up.

  “I mainly use pain to lead to pleasure. I will never make you do something if you are not willing to do it. To me, that is abuse, which I will never want you to feel inside or outside this house. My lifestyle is not about abusing you in any way to get you to do what I want for my own selfish needs. It’s about finding what you like and don’t like. It’s about finding your true self.

  “Discipline comes in everything, no matter if you want this kind of lifestyle or not. It goes hand in hand with having a job, raising a family and just living. It’s needed. As you have already found out I do believe in spanking if needed, for both discipline and pleasure. That’s where rules come in so we both know what we want out it all,” I went on before pausing to see if she had any questions so far.

  “No sadomasochism?” she asked, almost confusedly.

  “No,” I answered. “I don’t inflict pain just for the fun of it, Avidya. You have a natural submissiveness, and it’s not abnormal for others like you to find that what I have lined out in these papers will seem easy to understand in the end. It will all make you a stronger person, both mentally and physically.”

  “Okay,” she replied. “No whips or chains?”

  “Not until you are ready, and even then not to cause unwanted pain,” I answered as I met her eyes. “You may find out in time that you like to be spanked, or possibly chained up on a cross, but I’d never hit you to leave lasting marks. I will never take a whip to you in that way. Some Doms prefer to mark their subs as such, but none that I know personally. To me, that is abuse of power. There is a very fine line of what is considered abuse and what is normal everyday behavior, and that is where trust comes in.

  “It takes a lot of trust on both of our parts to get anywhere. You have to trust me to take care of your needs, to trust your responses to my actions, and trust to make sure I don’t use too much power when I certainly could. I also need your trust to know that I will push your limits, but as I learn how you react to what I do, I can read what you can handle. You have to trust that I will take care of you afterward, which we will get to in a bit.

  “Trust takes two people, and we will go as slow as you need to. I have a number of trust exercises that we will do on a normal daily basis for us to gain that trust,” I went on.

  “So much to take in,” she whispered with wide eyes.

  “Yes, it is,” I agreed with a smile. “But it will be worth it, babe.” I gave her a wink, causing her to let out a small giggle that made my heart sore.

  “With trust, comes communication. We both have to talk to each other respectfully. You have to tell me if I push you too much on anything, even now. If you need a break at all, let me know. If you don’t like something I do, tell me. I am a big boy and take things with a grain of salt, so to say. I may ask why you don’t enjoy something, and I expect an honest answer.”

  “Okay,” she replied. “I can handle all that so far.”

  “Good,” I smiled at her. “Now, aftercare will come in everything. That is my job, and I never forget to take care of you. Aftercare is where I make sure you are not hurt. If for instance, you are in one position for a certain amount of time without moving, I would make sure to rub you down with massage oil to make sure you don’t get muscle cramps.

  “Another example w
ould be if you are sick, and I make sure you have everything you need to be able to rest and get back to perfect health. Everything I do is with you in mind to make sure you are happy and taken care of.”

  I paused, letting that sink in before tapping the pile of papers in front of us. “Shall we begin?”

  “Sure,” she said shyly, giving the go ahead.

  “Alright,” I breathed. “The first few pages goes through what BDSM is, which was have already gone over.” I turned the page. “This page has a list of books and websites that can help you understand anything. Ones that I approve for beginners, at least. I don’t mind if you want to go look things up on your own, but I don’t want you to be frightened by what you find. Some websites take things out of context.