My Love

by Sabrina Zbasnik

  "Hm..."

  "Or, I could be mistaken. It...Ah!" Cullen jumped as another spark shot across his nose and arced into the gauntlet. "At this rate we shall electrocute ourselves before the blood mage has the opportunity."

  Lana smiled in sympathy and cupped her hands upon his face. Once again the twitching across his skin died down. Cullen caught her hands in his and held them at the side of his neck. He wanted to ask what she kept doing to alleviate it, but his words knotted together at the concern in her face. It'd been a long time since anyone looked at him as if they wished to take his pain away. Still clinging to her fingers, Cullen dipped his head towards her. A spark zapped from his lips into hers causing Lana to yelp.

  "Andraste's flames, I'm so sorry!" Cullen cried as her hands slipped from his grasp. Lana massaged her lips with her fingers. He opened his mouth to apologize again, when Lana threw her arms around his neck and plunged into a kiss. As her lips sucked upon his, a metallic bite rolled off her tongue into his. His body stretched thin; he felt as if he could wrap his arms twice around her if he wanted. His legs slipped away from him, the toes elongating past his boots.

  She pulled away and smiled. The thinness snapped away leaving Cullen rapidly aware of where his fingers, toes, and the rest of his limbs were. Right where they'd always been. Lana said, "I overloaded you with enough mana you should be glowing. It ought to at least keep the sparks away for a few hours."

  "That was...I've never felt anything like that," he admitted. Cullen tapped the ends of his fingers together to make certain they were still entombed in the gloves.

  Lana smirked, "You should make out with more mages. Wait until you see what we can do when we're really creative."

  Whether it was from the mana coursing through his system or the proximity of the node, Cullen caught the blush blundering up his neck and willed it back. "I will take that under advisement," he managed to cough out, blanketing his imagination before he had to make adjustments in an already tight spot.

  Horns blared through the entire thaig rattling stones and shaking the ground below them. Cullen shielded his ears from the assault, but Lana dashed off to the window.

  "It's as I suspected," she said, yanking up her staff, "he's here."

  With one hand Cullen unsheathed his sword, and with the other he pulled the lyrium bottle from his pocket. He'd only set out with the one in his kit, assuming this trip wouldn't take more than a day or two at most. It also seemed unlikely the chantry would willingly let him leave their grasp with more than a ration or two at best. They kept a tighter lock on their lyrium than they did the tranquil's enchantments.

  Popping off the lid with his thumb, Cullen tipped back the vial and downed it. Far too much time had passed since his last draught as a sharp stinging rattled through his veins. He kept pushing it lately, against even Meredith's watchful eye. As the stinging melted away, a calm chill swept through his bones. Certainty followed in its wake, reinforcing his duty to the symbol upon his shield. His grip tightened upon his sword, his muscles snapping to attention from the strength flooding him. He felt whole again.

  Something drew his attention, and he turned to see a queer look across the mage's face. Lana sighed in contention while watching him take the lyrium but did not speak a word. Instead, she swung her head back to gaze across the thaig. What could she say? She needed a templar and she got one. The lyrium was necessary for him to fight mages. It was how the world worked, whether they liked it or not.

  "White is coming," she said, her voice toneless, "prepare yourself."

  With the node activated both she and the blood mage would be on an even playing field but it would not affect the templar waiting to finish him off. It was relying on this ancient dwarven artifact to do something that as far as he knew was impossible that pushed his limits of believability. How could it cut off the connection to the fade with a wave of a hand? Another horn blasted through the air, but Cullen didn't flinch from the sound. His own blood rushed through his ears pounding with the beat of lyrium.

  Lana yanked up her staff and Cullen realized she never tied the blade back on. Was that part of the plan? He tried to reach out to ask her when a voice echoed through the stones.

  "Lady mage, I knew it would end here. We almost solved the node. Could you imagine? To control, limit magic before it even left the fade. But no, it wouldn't work that way. We were so close to figuring out the what we forgot to add in the why."

  "White!" Lana shouted out the window, her hand steadying her as she leaned forward. She ignored his ramblings and jumped straight to the point. "What you've done is reprehensible. You know this. You know I cannot let you live for what you did to those wardens."

  The chuckle trembled up Cullen's legs through the stones of the spire. He spun around expecting to see the mage rising up the stairs but only blackness remained behind him. "Oh Lady mage, I wished I had a choice. I tried to explain to them, but they wouldn't see. Refused to admit it. Couldn't. It killed them."

  Lana's hand gripped tighter around her staff, frost circling down it even with the node active. "No, you killed them."

  "Yes..." his voice drifted away from all around them and landed upon the tower directly across the lake. The one coated in darkspawn blight. Fire burst from White's hand but it was only a torch. He extended it outward from the blackened tower as if he intended to wave to them. White appeared alone and unarmed without even a staff for protection. "Yes, I did kill them. All of them. I shouldn't have, but...if you only knew."

  "Come and explain it to me, White. Please. I need to understand," Lana shouted to the man.

  He looked about to argue and speak in more cryptic sentences, when he sighed, his entire body slouching, "Yes, one way or another it needs to end." White took a step out of the window into the vastness of air. Instinctively, Cullen dashed forward as if he could reach out to catch the falling man, but White didn't plummet into the lake below. He didn't raise a stone to meet his feet either. Somehow the elf stood upon nothing extended hundreds of feet in the air.

  "How is he...?" Cullen asked waving his sword at the mage.

  Lana remained unsurprised, her eyes hunting across the scrawny elf walking through thin air towards them. "Dwarven illusion, like the wall. If you look carefully you can see the gaps in the air where cracks have formed over the years." She pointed at one of these invisible cracks but all Cullen saw was an endless fall the blood mage should be taking. "This is nothing, you should have seen the trials at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Bloody puzzles."

  "Where are his demons?" Cullen asked. He tried to peer past Lana to the darkness behind White but nothing moved through the shadows. It was impossible to think the blood mage would come truly alone. He had everything to lose from not unleashing a horde upon them.

  Lana ignored him as White ground to a halt a few dozen feet away from her. "I shall come no closer," he said waving the torch before his eyes. The smoke had to sting, the blood mage not used to using non-magical fire. "I have not forgotten the templar you brought."

  Lana gritted her teeth and sighed, "White, you know why I was able to find you. You gave it to me for that very reason." She must have meant the phylactery pulsing in Cullen's pocket. "I could have sent a battalion of wardens to track you down, but I came alone. Nearly alone. We will not attack you until we hear you out."

  "This is typically where some trap is sprung and the obliging villain falls to his doom," White said.

  Parting her hands, Lana shifted with exaggerated movements as if she were facing down a feral animal. With White's eyes on her, she snapped her arms forward. Only a light breeze waffled the elf back. "The node is active, I cannot harm you. You cannot harm me."

  White tipped his head, "You can harm people without the use of magic, I have seen it often." That caused Lana to grumble, a shadow drifting across her face. "For what little it is worth, Lady mage, I am sorry."

  "For murdering your friends?" Lana shouted to the man too far away for either of them to reach. Cullen itched to chas
e after him, but his brain screamed that it was a certain death. Could he even be supported by this invisible bridge?

  White slipped his eyes closed and a gentleness smoothed his face. The elf looked as capable of malfeasance as a young child.

  "White?" Lana prompted.

  Fire tumbled from his hand, racing to splash into the lake below. No longer carrying the torch, his hand unearthed the hidden dagger. Yanking back his sleeve, the mage slit across his scarred arms thrice. "Forgive me," he whispered.

  The node shrieked an ear piercing howl as the green light flared to a horrifying red. Lana flipped away from the blood mage drawing power from his own veins to face down the device behind Cullen. Her eyes focused and he could taste the fade pouring from her into the node, green light wrapping across its surface. For a brief second the device skipped, the fade energy overpowering whatever White was doing. But it wasn't enough.She'd wasted so much mana for no good reason, just to keep him from zapping himself? How could she be so reckless when there was a blood mage about?

  Cullen shouldered past her and aimed what powers he had at the mage, trying to boil all the mana White suckered from his own blood inside his veins. It was foolish, and it rarely worked properly, but it was their best hope before the mage unleashed demons upon them. Dipping deep into his own psyche, Cullen tugged upon the emptiness inside of him. It was the void itself that chewed through magic gobbling it up and rendering it impotent. He touched the emptiness flowing in his veins and drew it towards White, putting every drop of lyrium in his body into it. The power snapped out at the blood mage. It was enough to drag any man to his knees, but the elf waved his hand up and smiled.

  Cullen's own spell twisted back at him, the blow burning through his veins. Somehow the mage reflected it back, his own lyrium set aflame inside of him. Pain chewed and clawed up every inch of his skin, the torment snapping against his brain. Cullen screamed, blood scattering from his tongue and out his nose. Blood the mage could scoop up for his own use. The mage the templar couldn't stop. Darkness slipped across Cullen's vision, his own heartbeat staggering as the mage's poison knocked about his veins. He stumbled backwards and a hand landed upon him.

  Lana gripped tighter to him and she began to drain every ounce of mana from his body. The pain dissipated along with the power, all of it flowing into her. She'd used him as a storage device, the last place White would think to look. Strength snapped back into his body as the internal flames doused off his skin, but Cullen remained limp in Lana's arms. Her fingers squeezed him once more, then she snapped her hand at White.

  Ice that could shatter mountains whipped off her and directly into the blood mage. Somehow he threw up a barrier before she could hit sending the force of winter ricocheting into the walls. Frost blanketed the area, covering even the invisible bridge in the curse of winter. Hissing and popping, the stone caves creaked from the dramatic temperature change. After centuries of standing, this could take them down around them. Lana didn't back down, her insurmountable attack continuing even as she reached the bottom of Cullen's stores. Now all she had left was whatever she could pull from herself.

  Still White didn't budge, his own protection spell holding as the ice froze his own pools of blood dripping off the invisible bridge. Lana screamed as she released her hold on Cullen and thrust the last of what she had at White. Her legs gave out, but Cullen rose up to catch her around the waist. Her final attack shattered against the barrier, but one lone icicle pierced through the bubble and embedded into White's shoulder.

  He didn't cry out in pain, only stared down at the ice spear melting from his own warm blood dribbling down it. "That was a surprise," the elf said. Then he brought his hands together in a clap. The force threw both Lana and Cullen backwards against the wall. Cullen bore the brunt of it with Lana still in his arms, her body crushing that cursed warden armor into his chest. He slid to his knees, trying to shake off the blow to the back of his head. Nausea knotted through the blurry vision, but he didn't have time to worry about that.

  Lana hopped up first, her fingers scrabbling for her staff, while White calmly walked through the window. The elf watched her, a smile upon his lips, then he whipped back at Cullen struggling to get up to a knee through his throbbing hands. "I know your tricks templar, I can counter them all. Do not try again. But you," now he turned to Lana, "what we could have accomplished if you'd simply-"

  "No," Lana cut him off while brandishing her staff to try and bash him in the head. It was all they had left now.

  "They're wrong, you know, the chantry. Wrong about this, this power," White waved his fingers down his arm and the wound scabbed up instantly, the blood drying in its wake.

  "I shouldn't have sent you in alone, I should have been there," Lana shouted. She twisted carefully around the back of the node while keeping an eye on White. Cullen could only see the top of her head as he slipped behind the ball still hissing from whatever blood magic threw it off balance.

  "It would not have changed anything, I'm afraid. You weren't of the right blood to see it for what it was, what it will be, what it should be," the crazy mage kept his focus on Lana, his head twisting away from the templar struggling to rise.

  "Why do you intend to kill the First Warden?"

  White snapped his head back and glared at Cullen and the templar's fingers itching to yank up his fallen blade. Turning back to Lana he answered her, "Because, it is the only way to stop the cycle before it begins. Can't you see it? Can't you hear it? We will bring the end because our hubris blinds us all."

  "Tell me what you know, White. Tell me what you saw in the library. Please," her voice shattered as she paused in her walk.

  The elf looked about to argue when he placed a hand near the node, power tumbling below his fingers as he readied to destroy it and free himself. But then a tenderness weaved through his face and he eyed up Lana, "I am sometimes sorry you were not my apprentice, the depth of your curiosity is only matched by your tenacity. But even you would not accept the fact. Solona, what we wish, what we hope to accomplish is all for naught."

  "What are you talking about?" she continued while rounding the curve of the node and drawing closer to him. White was so enraptured in her he didn't hear Cullen scoop up his sword.

  "The Grey Wardens. We're so certain we are the only ones who can stop the blights, who can end the archdemons."

  "We are."

  "Oh," White twisted his head, "then how do you yet live?" Lana sneered at that, whatever the mage meant passing over Cullen's head. Her eyes darted over White's shoulder and she spotted Cullen rising, his sword at the ready to end this madness. Ever so softly she shook her head no.

  "You found something in the blight itself, please, tell me what it is. Tell me so we can help future wardens, save people from this sickness," Lana pleaded, her eyes focused upon White.

  "What I found would hurt you."

  "It's already hurting me," she said.

  "True enough," White said, "Perhaps you should share in the burden." The elf reached his bloody hands towards Lana whether to attack or not, there was no way to know. Cullen sprung forward, his shoulder slamming into the elf while the sword slipped unimpeded through White's ribs and pierced out his chest.

  "No!" Lana screamed and she threw a force powerful enough at Cullen his body skittered back against the wall. She wrapped her arms around White's body pulling him into her hands as both sank to their knees. The elf's blood gushed out of the wound splattering down her own chest as she tried to lower him to the ground. "White, please, tell me why. Tell me why you did it."

  Color drained from White's face as his own veins spilled across the floor. The blade sliced through his chest but still he didn't scream in pain, as if nothing could hurt him anymore. His hand paddled in the air and landed upon Lana's shoulder. With a rasping voice, he whispered, "In the end, none of it matters."

  Her fingers flared as she placed them against White's chest, but the magic sputtered away, yanked from her body by her own trap. Not that ev
en she could cure a blade through the lungs. Lana held White's empty body awkwardly in her arms, trying to keep the end of Cullen's sword from piercing into her own skin. She struggled under the growing weight of it as the soul fled into the fade, but wouldn't put him down.

  "It's my fault, I told him to look into it. We found a text, not even that, a piece of writing that was barely legible, but I had such hopes. And I urged him to figure out what it was. It had to be him, only he could..." Lana stared at White's still open eyes, unable to close them with her hands full with his body. "I'm so fucking tired of getting it wrong."

  Cullen didn't move from where she threw him. Though the force was far gentler than what White concocted, and he remained on his feet, he was wary of the mage with a seemingly endless power that openly attacked him. He was also unarmed. Holding one palm flat he tried to reason with her, "Lana." She didn't turn away from the dead elf, but her shoulders shuddered from the reminder she wasn't alone. "He was a blood mage."

  "I know," her voice whimpered, only a shadow of the powerful woman who hacked through a darkspawn army. "It was why I chose him."

  "What?"

  Finally, she released her hold on White. The body slipped out of her fingers and crumpled to the ground. Her entire chest was mired in scarlet blood, the same blood dribbling its last onto the floor unable to harm anyone anymore. Lana rose off her knees and gazed down at the body. White curled up on his side, appearing as if in sleep save for the sword still run through him. She leaned over and wrapped her fingers around the hilt of Cullen's sword. His legs tightened, fearing that she would try to destroy his only weapon.

  It took a bit of tugging to yank the sword out of White. A groan hissed through the hole left behind, gore slopping down to fill it. She twisted the blade up to her eyes and inspected it. Cullen froze as the now armed mage approached him. Could he stop her? What if he hurt her?