My Love

by Sabrina Zbasnik

  Snuggling tighter into Cullen's arms she sighed, "Maybe it's all the letters from Ali about his kids getting along, then not getting along. Or your sister."

  "What'd Mia do now?" he grumbled. She could be very stubborn on what was the proper way to raise a child.

  "Nothing," Lana laughed, brushing up and down his stubble with her fingers, "merely the fact she is your sister. Your family that you love, that you look to for comfort."

  "There's plenty of family right here. And who knows, with your cavalcade of friends, no doubt Gavin will inherit a constant parade of interesting aunts and uncles drifting in and out of his life."

  Lana pursed her lips at the thought, Hawke having only left a few weeks prior and promising she'd be back before the kid was walking. "I don't think any of my friends are of the propagating type. He'll need friends his own age, stability and..."

  Chuckling, Cullen placed a kiss to her forehead and murmured, "You're worrying too much."

  "Mmm," she snuggled tighter to him, "of course I am. I'm a mother now. I fear it's made me nearly as bad as you."

  "Nearly?"

  Her beautiful, soulful eyes rolled open into his and she smiled, "It takes real work to worry as much as his father does." By every blessing of Andraste, she was gorgeous. Cullen tipped his head, his nose bumping her soft cheek as his lips cupped against hers. She closed her eyes, deepening the kiss with her hands pressing ever tighter against him. It'd been too long since they'd been able to kiss for longer than a brief second.

  Too long.

  Cullen broke away, trying to bury the flush of embarrassment from how quickly his body reacted to her touch. She could have died, and it was not his place to make any demands. Unaware of his fresh string of concerns, Lana lazily opened her eyes and roughed up his scruff.

  "What about the grey warden potion?" he switched gears on her. Her caressing palm didn't stop but she pursed her lips in a controlled regret. "Do you think you're ready to try again?"

  "Not quite," she said. "It needs more testing. I don't want to wait an entire year, if only for what I could lose, but..." Her eyes closed and she wrapped her arms tight around herself. "I'd really rather avoid the agony of yet another joining if I can."

  "Oh Lana," he wrapped his arms over top of hers, rubbing into her shoulders as he stared deep into the top of her head. She refused to lift her eyes, the woman who suffered so much pain he couldn't get rid of now facing even worse on the horizon. "Tell me what I can do?"

  Her lips lifted in a half smile, "You've been wonderful. With me and the baby. He's a handful and a half, and you... I'll find a solution, Cullen. I swear it."

  Bundling her hands together, he kissed both. Those stained and callused fingers that were often burned or maimed in her experiments. The same ones that soothed feverish templars foreheads and his own erratic heartbeat. It seemed a cruel twist of the Maker that as Lana was emerging from her darkness he was struck down by a Wednesday. No doubt all the fear he'd buried inside at her near loss exploded once Cullen risked taking a breath. But she was there, holding him and their son in those thin fingers.

  "I know you will, you can do anything you put yourself to," he whispered, cupping his hands to her cheeks and returning for another kiss.

  "Ah, boss, er, um..."

  Cullen and Lana both turned to find Sam standing awkwardly in the doorway. Her skin was as flush as a sunburn and she kept twisting her toe into the floor while attempting to yank her apron over her face. Despite having a baby, it seemed the fact the two of them enjoyed each others company was a relatively surprising fact for their workers.

  "What is it, Sam?" Lana asked. She drifted back down to her toes, her lips slipping away from his, but she kept a close grip to his arm.

  "I was wondering, we we're wondering if we could, um... If you'd be against us, that is..."

  "Before we're all ash," Cullen groaned. His wife glanced over at him with her lips pursed. He was prepared to apologize when he felt a gentle pinch against his backside. It surprised him so much he failed to hide the reaction and nearly spun back to see if there was a crab on his workbench.

  Sam watched a moment, her blue eyes widening beyond her face. Then she swallowed and pointed at Gavin who was trying to get that wood scrap again. "Can we play with the baby?"

  Cullen began, "That isn't..."

  "That's a wonderful idea," Lana interrupted.

  "Really?" the girl's face beamed bright in joy.

  He tried to shoot the question of if this was advisable to his wife, but she was already scooping Gavin up into her arms. That baby's head he'd been getting good at balancing began to make a move to smack into his mother's. Cullen lashed a hand out and caught it before Lana had to suffer another bruise. "He gets that from you," she muttered before passing the giggling baby over to Sam.

  The girl lit up like a lyrium vein from the wiggly worm trying to get back to the floor. "You're just the cutest widdle...um, Lord knight baby, I've ever seen."

  Lana let Gavin grip to her finger as she stared down at him in love before she honed in on Sam. "Where will you be keeping him?"

  "The dining room. We were all gonna get together and, ya know...Ralph brought in his old rattle. Made it out of a bladder with some seeds and then, uh..."

  "Good," the mother nodded. "Keep him warm, make sure the socks stay on no matter how hard he kicks. No taking the baby out of the dining room under any circumstances without getting me first."

  Sam nodded her head solemnly, Gavin trying to inch his way up her chest while he reached for her apron's strap. "Yes, Milady."

  "If he makes a mess, the extra nappies are in the hamper on the bottom shelf of the closet," Lana continued to issue orders. "He's getting better at reaching for things but can't quite grab them. I hope. He may surprise you so be careful to keep anything small out of his reach just in case." The militant woman paused and a bright smile took over, "And have fun."

  "Oh, I will, ma'am. We will, right baby?"

  Gavin cooed a bit at the attention, the baby always lighting up when anyone looked at him. A few would nudge Cullen at how many women and girls kept flocking to his son. He swallowed every jibe down like bitter lemon juice, hoping to be able to put off those discussions far, far into the future. Not that he was much of a treasure trove when it came to courting advice.

  Sam picked up Gavin's little hand and waved it up and down. "Say bye bye to your mum and da." The boy gurgled, spit dribbling down his chin along with some bubbles before Sam wrapped him tight and disappeared through the door.

  To Cullen's surprise Honor went with, the dog trailing behind with the same look he felt. 'I'm watching you to make certain you do nothing to hurt that baby.'

  "You trust them to look after our son?" he asked Lana after the door closed.

  "We trust them to look after our charges. A baby should be easy compared to a raging 200 pound templar," she shrugged then turned to Cullen. "He'll be fine. It's only for a little while, and, Maker's breath, don't you want to savor the break?"

  He'd twisted around to return to sanding, but at her comment he paused and glanced up. "It is nice to trust someone else. While I rather enjoy Hawke at times, she can be...well."

  "Easily excitable and prone to forgetting there's a baby in her arms?" Lana laughed, her arms sliding in under his. He felt her face bury into the back of his padded shirt while the warmth of her body took over.

  "Let's just say that I will be more calm if at her next visit Gavin is capable of walking and talking."

  His wife chuckled, her cheek burrowing tighter, "Which is when Hawke will teach him how to use a sword."

  "Of blighted course she will," Cullen let the tools clatter from his hands again, accepting that this crib wouldn't be built until the boy was walking. Turning in Lana's grasp, he wrapped his hands around her waist. She was always curvy, even her time trapped in the fade didn't fully drain away the squeezable soft figure that taunted his every waking moment. Motherhood shifted it around a bit, her soft stomach dang
ling lower after the expansion then expulsion. Her thighs, always stout and hearty, curled outward more at the top. Whenever Cullen caught sight of her naked body, slipping into or out of clothing or a bath, he felt an urge to grip onto the extra flesh. To pad his palms up and down it while she pressed her heaving chest against him.

  He couldn't hide his body's betrayal while she curled so tight to him. It prodded into her lower belly, begging for any kind of release. He ached to touch her, but that was hardly new.

  "Mmm," Lana purred into his chest, her head nuzzling against him, "been missing me?"

  "You know I have," he whispered, his voice dipping lower to match the want in his blood.

  She lifted her head enough he watched her little teeth press against her juicy bottom lip. "How many times have you thought about missing me?"

  "Well, I haven't exactly kept count," he tried to play off the rising embarrassment with a joke. They had a newborn, she was walking through the darkness, there was still their half farm plus charges. He was far from being in a position to waste such time on frippery.

  Lana darted her fingers down his chest, pressing the lambswool tighter to his skin. Her beaming brown eyes turned enigmatic as that brain was no doubt churning through a hundred thoughts. "You must have," she whispered, her hand sliding lower across his stomach, "some idea?" To finish, that cruel palm twisted around his erection growing harder with every breath.

  "Sweet Maker," Cullen groaned, far too aware of how long it had been. He grew so busy there was a fear of a return of nocturnal emissions if he didn't take care of things soon. His sweet wife brushed her hot lips against his neck, that mischievous hand sliding his pants up and down his cock. "Why," he tried to shake away the buzzing in his ears, "why does that fascinate you so?"

  Her fingers paused and she blinked a moment, staring up at him. "You, taking matters into your capable hands? Driving yourself to the brink so slowly you cry out for Andraste upon release? Yes, I can't imagine why that 'fascinates me' so."

  "It..." Cullen gulped, trying to shake off the shame of how well his own wife knew about that.

  "Tell me," Lana's nuzzling returned, though her fingers broke from his cock to rifle up and down his waist. "Do you ever imagine me seeking release on my own?"

  Why did he feel like he was on trial and, no matter what he said, he'd be found guilty? "Sometimes," Cullen gasped, "And others I think of you with me, you finishing me, and...Maker's breath." He lost the ability to speak, the flush of embarrassment winning over. Sure, they had intimate moments, but this was even more private and not something to be discussed in his wood shop.

  "Cullen?" Lana whispered his name in her dusky voice all but damning him to reveal every dirty thought he'd ever had in his lifetime. "What would you have of me?"

  His eyes shot open and then crinkled down in confusion, "Excuse me?"

  Lana shrugged her shoulder and then hopped up on her toes to kiss him. He expected it to be a distraction from whatever game she was playing, but as her tongue trailed along with his, the want inside of him rampaged through. Tasting his wife's sweetness, lapping up her lips and then diving back more for, his hands moved of their own accord. One curled around her breast, struggling to take in the greater size, while the other swooped to her backside. Wrapping the arm under her ass, Cullen tugged her even closer, his fingers swirling over her dress to tease out the nipple.

  When it hardened below him, she shivered, breaking the haze over Cullen's eyes. "Maker's breath," Lana panted. She kept tight up on her toes, her breath wafting beside his ear while gasping for breath. "How do you want me? On my back? On my knees? On my hands and knees?"

  "Lana..." the worry erupted up his spine, concern over her well being, of him pushing her too hard curbing his lust.

  "I want you," she breathed into his ear before licking along the lobe. "Now, how do you want me?"

  Every hunger roared to life, puncturing his waning attempts at chastity. Glancing once over his bench, Cullen scattered the tools to the side before scooping up his wife and placing her upon it. She laughed once, eyeing up how far her feet dangled off the floor upon the waist heigh counter, "I don't think this will quite work..."

  Her words and fears of the height differential faded as he returned to kissing her, those lips nibbling upon his while his hands skirted apart her dress enough to dip down the front. She groaned in the back of her throat, no doubt matched by him as Cullen gently squeezed her full breasts. With each kneading, Lana began to pant harder, obliterating Cullen's control as he tugged and warped the collar of her dress. He shouldn't destroy her few clothes, but...

  Seeming to rise back from her island of bliss, Lana reached inside and undid a few secret clasps. Her dress fell open, letting both of her breasts tumble free. "Nursing mother," she chuckled. "It's a bit like stripper in how quickly you can get your top off when the need arises."

  "Maker's breath, I love you," Cullen muttered, diving back to her witty tongue. She wasn't a coy one either, despite giving him the reins. Perched within easy reach, her legs wrapped around his waist tugging him tighter to the bench. He gave in until those wily fingers went right back to his belt and all the parts underneath.

  Her wrist knocked against the edge of the table struggling to make the distance. Shaking her head at it, the pedantic rose back up, "Seriously, how is this supposed to work?" She gestured to how much higher she was to his straining cock. "Do you have a box to stand on?"

  Andraste preserve him, but he loved that. She was so dead certain on helping him live out his fantasies she couldn't stop focusing on how to make it happen. "Lana," Cullen whispered in her ear. His voice was so dusky her perturbations died down and she shuddered. "This is where I want you."

  "Okay...?"

  He heard the question of "what are you doing?" as he tugged her forward towards the edge. Slowly his fingers skirted down her waist, trailing the thick fabric that protected her sweet skin from the cold. She began to rotate back and forth on her glorious ass, wanting him to get a move on. That drew a laugh to the old, stodgy templar, who slid his fingers up her legs. Calves, once so strong to carry her across Ferelden, they now required his healing massage often. Her thighs, soft to the gentle touch, but rock hard when she flexed them. The muscle hid deep below her cushioning. His thumbs circled around the top of her thighs, following the crease that led down to the part he dreamed of while touching himself.

  "What are you...?" she shifted a moment when he grabbed onto her smalls and yanked them downward. It was fast enough they didn't have a chance to snag against his less than refined woodworking table. Cullen moved to toss them to the side when he paused and bundled them into her hand.

  "Keep them safe," he whispered to her confused eyes. She was still focused on the height differential and the fact he kept his pants on. It wasn't until he took to a knee, that Lana's lips fell open first in understanding, then desire.

  "This is what you want? After so long?" she sputtered. He didn't answer, his fingers gently teasing the skin up and down her inner thighs. It'd been so long that simple touch caused her to shiver. Bunching up her dress at the front, Cullen slowly bundled it together until he was face to face with her mound, slit, folds, dwarven beard. He'd heard them all and often worse but despite all the intervening years and the trials together he'd always thought of it as her perfection. Maker take him, Lana'd probably groan, then take the piss out of him for it.

  He parted his fingers through her pubic hair, knotting those ebony curls tight in his fist as he would with the ones sprouting from her head. Lana rolled her fingers through his hair, then grabbed onto her dress, giving him free access. Barely a finger glancing against her plump lower lips, she shuddered and placed her legs upon his shoulders. Opening up wider, Cullen dove tongue first into her.

  The smell was pure Lana, the one he cherished through all their times apart. At first he lightly lapped against her clitoris, taking the time to softly suckle upon her inner lips before returning back to the main event. When the tempo
increased, Lana slid her legs further along his shoulders, rolling her hips to match his rhythm. Rubbing a hand back along her leg, Cullen felt the rise of goosebumps against her skin, his wife muttering something incoherent above him.

  She leaned back upon her elbows, giving fully in to his machinations which made him smile against her. Out of every possible position she could manage, this was what he missed most. The others he could pretend to mimic on his own, but not this. Feeling her melt below his tongue and fingers, watching her tremble when the release hit, hearing her shriek gibberish because her taut brain unwound -- that was what he loved and ached for.

  "Cu-u-l..." his name faded to panting as she drove herself harder against his tongue, all but riding it. He moved to part her lips, ready to slide a finger in, when Lana knotted up tight around him. Her thighs clenched around his head and she sat up until her fingers gripped onto his hair. The wave of pleasure bore down hard through her, only a few grunts and the occasional curse slipping free until she released her hold and lay back upon the bench.

  "That was quick," he remarked, wiping off his chin and rising up off his knees.

  "Yeah," Lana gasped, a hand laying upon her bare bosom. "Real quick, been a while and you..." She sat up suddenly, snagging his cheeks in her hands. "You're blighted amazing," she shouted as if for the whole world to hear. Tugging him to her for a kiss, she all but mimicked his tongue moves in his mouth.

  Gasping in a breath, Cullen reached for her smalls while trying to shake off the tremble in his spine, "Here, let me help you put them back on."

  "Oh no, by the void, no," Lana shook her head wildly. "No, no, I don't care where, but you are sticking your cock in me."

  "That..." the blush was in full force at her brash certainty.

  She grabbed his hands and tugged them tight around her back. That gave her enough room to part her hands down his shirt before reaching for the belt again. "I've been waking from so many dreams where you ravage me until I can't walk straight. I can't take it anymore." Her ferocity drove her to whip his belt off and expose the part of him Lana would always control. She circled her fingers up and down it, barely a whisper of a touch, but it burned away the lingering trepidation of hurting her.