My Love

by Sabrina Zbasnik

  "Kid," he reached over, his weak fingers running up her arm, "are you really okay? From popping this guy out?"

  "Yeah, yes, Dad. I'm tired, and still in a bit of pain, but it went well," she was trying to smile to hide away a lie. He knew enough to know that and glared a moment. "We just pushed it along a bit. Tried to speed things up."

  "You can do that? I thought babies came when they did."

  She tipped her head, "A bit of magic can, if one is pressed for time. But there's a cost."

  "Sold your soul to a demon?"

  Myra chuckled, "As if any would buy it. No, just wearing down more than I anticipated." Her skin was pallid, her eyes straining against the weak light, but he wasn't exactly in a position to point that out. No one was willing to let him near a mirror but he knew enough. "But I'm doing good otherwise."

  He could ask why she sped up Duncan's arrival, risked not only her life but her baby's for a few extra hours. But he needn't bother. Twisting his neck a bit, Alistair instead asked, "How's the new baby daddy handling it all?"

  "In true Gavin fashion, panicking but secretly in a closet so it doesn't affect me. I think it all hit him at once that we are in charge of this tiny life. So, when he's not insisting Duncan be wrapped in five blankets and always have two pairs of mittens screwed onto his tiny hands, he's staring in rapture at him."

  Lifting the slumbering baby a bit, Alistair sighed, "I don't blame him."

  "Dad, I'm..." Myra paused, her lips working in and out as she weighed something in her mind. It took her so long, Alistair turned to her in surprise. It was rare for his daughter to not whip out her thoughts the moment they sprang into being.

  Suddenly, she lashed forward, her arms wrapping around his body and she tucked her face to his shoulder. "Thank you," Myra blubbered, "thank you for...for waiting. For not, ya know..."

  He could feel the tears dripping off her eyes, the poor girl having been through one hell of an emotional ride in the past few days. "Hey, My, it's okay. I'm here."

  "I know, but all that time I kept worrying that you wouldn't be. I was stuck screaming my lungs off and pushing while you might have been... And you'd be upset because I wasn't there. I was really upset I wasn't there. Mom wanted to be in two places at once."

  Alistair laughed at that. No doubt Reiss had runners constantly checking in on Myra doubled over in labor, while she sat at his side. He'd been exhausted beyond life itself until that tiny body was placed to his chest. Somehow it didn't seem worth falling back to sleep as long as he could stare at the baby. And, by and by, strength returned to his wrenched limbs until he felt good enough to get out of bed for a bit.

  "Was it your idea to send Gavin in with Duncan?" he asked.

  "His actually. He wanted to make certain you could...that you'd meet him."

  His heart bubbled over in a giddy warmth at the thought. "Did you know he called me Dad?"

  Myra snickered at that, "Mom's gonna be so jealous. I mean he's only been calling her that for a few months now. She's fully lost her leverage."

  Joining in with his daughter, Alistair sighed, "Poor Reiss, I guess I'll have to make it up to her."

  "And how do you intend to do that?" a new voice broke from the doorway. Myra turned to look but Alistair need not bother. He knew it etched into his marrow and forever buried inside his heart.

  "Mom?" Myra stuttered, already rising to her feet.

  "You should be in bed," Reiss said, wrapping a hand around her exhausted daughter's shoulders. Then she glanced down at her ailing husband, "both of you should."

  "We were getting some granddad and grandson time in," Alistair cracked a laugh. Reiss' hands skirted over to cup under the baby but she didn't fully lift him free of Alistair's arms. She just held Duncan a moment as if needing to remind herself he was here in the world, healthy and beautiful.

  "You can bond later. You need sleep, and I bet this one's about to wake up for his supper."

  "Blighted hell, he was practically suckered to my tit all afternoon," Myra groaned before folding her arms over her chest.

  "Babies tend to grow a lot, and they need food to do it," Reiss explained while Myra made the yapping noise with her hand. Barely rolling her eyes at her daughter's antics, the grandmother lifted her grandson out of Alistair's hands and placed him into Myra's. His little Wheaty transformed in an instant. Her eyes softened to joy as she cuddled her baby up to her nourishing chest.

  "Hello there, Dunny," she whispered to her boy. "Are you waking up?"

  Seeming to sense his mother's presence, those big green eyes popped open and so did his lips. He stared around in confusion until Myra's hand curled up against his cheek. There was no way he could see her yet, but the baby's fidgeting slowed at the touch and he nuzzled tight to her.

  "So damn cute," Alistair sighed, still trying to peek in on the baby.

  "And hungry," Myra laughed at the start of cries for milk beginning in the baby's throat. "Yes, Mom. You're right. You're always right. Oh, before I go...Dad," she tipped Duncan up a bit, whose tears paused at the change, "what is it?"

  "A baby," he said, jabbing a finger towards Duncan's tummy.

  "The nickname," Myra sighed. "What have you got for him? There's already a poll going and everyone needs to know."

  "A poll?" he glanced over at Reiss who shrugged.

  "Castle kitchen staff, the elven servants, a few Banns, and of course the agency. They're all betting on what you were going to call mine, so...before there's riots in the streets."

  He blinked a moment and stared over at the baby bearing the lips of the woman who first landed in his heart, eyes of the one that would forever claim it, a nose just like his, cheekbones the spitting image of his youngest daughter's, and skin with a touch of the young man he was proud to call a son. And the tiny cleft chin of the templar, but there had to be something of the man floating around in there.

  "Perfect," Alistair whispered.

  "Okay, I get that you think he's cute, everyone does, but the nickname. Ya know always food related, kinda weird but also endearing after you've heard it a million times..."

  "That's it," Alistair sighed, "Perfect." It was the first thing he thought of when he spotted Duncan, same as how it worked with the rest of his children. There was nothing else that was right.

  "No," Myra shook her head madly, "No, it's like, ya know, Spud, or Wheat, or Toffee, or Celery Stick. Which I still can't understand."

  "That boy was green as a frog when I saw him," Alistair insisted always having to defend that one even if his Celery found it endearing. At least he'd clap every time.

  "Sure Dad," Myra rolled her eyes, "but give me something. Something to give to the others who are wondering..."

  "Wheaters, I don't know what to tell you, but that's all I've got."

  His daughter glanced over to Reiss who was leaning carefully upon the window seat with her lips pursed in thought. "I cannot, we cannot, you cannot call him perfect. Rosie would murder me. Pretty sure Cailan would too. He's grown rather attached to the father mantle. What about something else, something like uh...mushroom?"

  Reiss tipped her head, "That's what he used to call Gavin."

  At that Myra's eyes opened wide, "You gave one to my husband?!"

  "He was like a mushroom as a baby with this huge head and thin, little body. Which shouldn't be a surprise given how many books he's got crammed up in there. Lucky for you the body part caught up to the giant noggin."

  Myra shook her head in shock, "Why am I just hearing this now? We've been together for years and you...you gave him a food nickname too."

  "I don't use it anymore with him. So, yeah, mushroom. Fine," Alistair waved his hands through the air not caring about some pool or bet.

  "No, people will know. You never repeat them and people have serious records about this stuff. I know..." Myra snapped her fingers, shaking the baby who would really like to be getting around to his dinner now. "Acorn. Because he's this lovely tan and has bright green eyes like a fresh acorn. S
ee. It works."

  Alistair shrugged at her assertions while Reiss sighed. "He never puts that much thought into it, but..."

  "I never put thought into anything," Alistair mumbled to himself.

  "But that will be good," Reiss continued. "Tell everyone he's acorn. I don't know if anyone had that on the list."

  "Maker's balls, I can't remember either," Myra groaned, looking about to pass out.

  "Go lay down, feed him. I'm certain Gavin will watch over him. Watch over you both."

  "As if I can stop him," his daughter cracked a smile. She hefted her baby up a bit, who was doing his lip smacking and growing more and more incensed that a nipple wasn't put inside of them. Myra paused before heading out and wafted Duncan under her father's nose.

  "One last kiss before his nap," she said as if it was no big deal, but he could hear the worry tinging in her tone. It wasn't a one last kiss before they both went down, it was in case he didn't wake back up.

  Dipping his head down, Alistair planted a peck to Duncan's cheek. "You're perfect," he whispered into the baby's ear, then caught a flash of fire in Myra's eyes, "even if I have to call you acorn."

  While Myra trundled her baby off to the room she and Gavin were staying in for awhile, Alistair leaned back in his chair. After a moment he began to laugh causing Reiss to beam a question at him. "Just a mushroom, wheat, and an acorn. They're a shepherd's pie waiting for the lamb to wander in."

  Reiss smiled and shook her head. Her bun was a mess, barely wadded up behind her and it looked as if she'd slept in her clothes for the past few nights. Alistair sighed, "You look exhausted. Maybe you should take a quick nap...?"

  Chuckling, she ran her hands over her face to try and scrub it, "I'd love to but there's a lot left to handle..." She didn't go into the play by play, no doubt including helping Myra, adjusting to the pair having to keep their baby up here instead of at home, and him. Alistair was probably the biggest problem on her honey-do list.

  "Come here," he reached over with his hands and gripped onto Reiss'. She smiled at the tenderness, but as he began to limply tug her back she shook her head.

  "Wh...what are you doing?"

  With one hand curling onto her hip, Alistair guided her ass to his lap. That damnable woman tried to fight a bit, insisting that he was still healing and she was far too heavy.

  "You've never been too heavy the entire time I've known you," he laughed, not about to give up. Accepting defeat, Reiss relaxed and eased onto his legs. They were rather upset about the addition but when he buried his nose into her hair, and locked his arms tight around her stomach Alistair didn't give two figs in winter about the legs.

  "This is silly, you know," she said while turning her head to face him. Beautiful green eyes stared deep into his and Alistair smiled wide as he found himself falling inside them. Reiss' warm hand suckered to his cheek, the palm folding down his white whiskers while they rocked together.

  Brushing his nose against her good ear, Alistair whispered, "I'm rather known for silly. In fact, I thought it was why you liked me."

  "There are other reasons," she grinned, causing his heart to flip itself over. Thirty years on and Reiss could still do that. Glance at him from across the room with a green fire in her eyes and his tongue would drop. Or lift her lips in a smirk and he'd gladly prostrate himself on the floor at her command.

  Nuzzling his face against Reiss' long neck, Alistair began to increase the rocking. His room felt soft for once. Normally, it was bulging with hard edges, orders, people rushing this way and that. With the warm afternoon sun, a slow beat of the chair, and the love of his life in his arms it transformed into a cuddly sanctuary where nothing bad could ever happen.

  "So...Amell?" Reiss began.

  "Yeah, that surprised me too. But I assume he's thought it through."

  She rolled her eyes much like their daughter did. "Is there anything Gavin has not thought through? The boy is always thinking. I am amazed at times that either he or Myra can stand each other."

  "Don't tell me you still wished she'd gone for that cold oatmeal elf?"

  "He was not..." Reiss began to defend her position before she backed off, "No. I only anticipated our daughter going through a mercenary band phase. Perhaps stumbling home with her head filled with new holes. But Gavin is..." Her soft white rolls of hair nestled against Alistair's chest as she thought, "He's the perfect balance against Myra's more grating qualities."

  "She keeps him from being all stodgy and stuck up too," Alistair said to defend his Wheaters.

  "True," Reiss tipped her head to the side before both of the old coots lapsed into contemplative silence.

  Her body locked in his arms, the assuring heartbeat thumping in time with his, and the warmth that radiated from her soul were all trying to lure Alistair to a nap. Sure, he probably needed it. If he was lucky he'd be fast asleep before Spud brought in her next contingency of doctors. Those people had far too cold of hands for where they liked sticking them.

  The rocking slowed and Alistair took a deep breath. Reiss turned at the change, concern marring her summery eyes. "I keep thinking about that first night when we had Myra." He brushed back a strand of hair from Reiss' eyes and cupped her cheek. "She was so tiny, the tiniest thing I'd ever seen."

  "You could not put her down," Reiss said.

  "No," he laughed in agreement. "I couldn't. All those healers and midwives kept gesturing to the bassinet they brought in special, but I was not letting that little infant out of my fingers. She needed me. Needed us both."

  Reiss smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. Leaning forward she brushed her forehead against Alistair's. "Which lasted until she was about six and decided that she was going to run away and join a pirate ship."

  He laughed hard at the memory, his baby Wheaters with her hair tucked into blonde pigtails, a russet sack at her side overstuffed with essential toys, and an eye patch knotted around her head. She was so damn certain that was all she needed while she marched head held high towards the harbor. In the end, she got onto a little schooner, took a quick trip around the bay, and returned to her parent's panicking arms in under an hour, proud of being made a pirate.

  "She needs us even more now," Reiss whispered. "Both of them do."

  Alistair's throat caught at the tears welling up in her voice. He dug his hands into her, his honker flattening into the back of Reiss' head to try and bury away his own fears. "I love you," he whispered into her hair. No matter what -- the distance, the trials, the lonely nights, the challenges of being with a woman who could never live with him -- he would always love her.

  "I love you too," Reiss said, her gnarled hand locking in with his trembling one. She turned fully to face him, her eyes drowned in tears. Unable to take the sight of her crying, Alistair shut his eyes tight and kissed her beautiful lips. Maker, she was so warm, so full of life. She could never die.

  Puckering for another kiss, Reiss curled her hands down to grip onto, sure enough, his shoulders. That made Alistair smile even while lost in the throes of making out. So many years on and she still adored them. His stupid smile broke apart their passion, but not the love as Reiss opened her eyes to stare into his.

  "That night, holding my baby girl, sitting beside the woman I love... It was the happiest I'd ever been."

  "Alistair," she shifted in her seat, clearly not wanting to have this conversation. "You shouldn't..."

  "Just, give me this, okay? Then I'll switch back to flippant, I promise," he begged while staring deep into her eyes. Reiss glanced down and all the stress that he put upon her, that Myra did as well, appeared in an instant. She bit into her lip and nodded her head.

  "Reiss, you are everything I never thought I wanted. And though we've had some setbacks, sometimes..." he drew his finger through her hair to glance across the scar tissue wrapped around where her ear used to be, "horrible ones, yours were the arms I always wanted to return to. The voice I wanted to hear speaking my name. The eyes that'd crinkle with a laugh or roll when
I was particularly stupid. Maker knows I don't deserve you, but He also knows that I thank Him every day for you."

  The tears were in full on waterfall mode now, practically gushing while she sat silent save the occasional sniffle that shook her frame. Alistair swiped at his own face, surprised to find a bit of moisture clinging on his cheeks. With a shrug at the moment of sentimentality, he smiled, "So, uh, that's it. Back to being the old joker who never..."

  Reiss buried her face into his chest, her arms locked tight around his back as she begged him. Begged him to not die, to get healthy, to stay with her for years to come. It came out so fast, all Alistair could do was rub her back and let her water his tunic.

  When her pleas paused, he patted her bun and shrugged, "How can I possibly say no to someone so beautiful?"

  She pinched into her eyes and sighed, "Swear it? That you'll...you won't, just...swear it, okay."

  "Reiss..."

  "I know. I know how time works, how life works, how Maker damn unfair it all is, but I don't care right now. Humor me."

  Glancing his lips against her forehead, Alistair breathed, "I swear, I will do everything in my power to not die."

  "Good," she nodded her head. "Now," the petrified woman who almost faced the death of her lover vanished in an instant as that feared detective who could run anyone's life returned. "You should get some sleep."

  Reiss stood up out of his lap, but Alistair clung tight to her hands. At her confused look, he said, "Stay with me."

  "Alistair..."

  "Nap with me. You look exhausted," he gritted his teeth and rose to fiery bones. Teetering from the effort it required to puncture the air and get himself on his feet, Alistair gripped harder to Reiss until he steadied himself.

  "I can't," her lips formed a dozen words she didn't say while her eyes darted over to his large and very comfy bed. "There's tons of things to do."

  "The kids can manage," he said, his fingers already pulling apart her bun. "They're gonna have to figure it out eventually."

  Reiss shook her head, letting the waves of snow fall down to caress her shoulders. Biting on her lip, she stared right into Alistair's eyes. "What will people say?"