Blackest Red

by P. T. Michelle

  Sebastian pushes off the wall and gets right in my personal space. “I claimed you not less then fifteen minutes ago. The only word out of your mouth while you came was my name. You want me, but you’re too damn stubborn to let yourself admit it. That penname you’re hiding behind, T.A. Lone…” He straightens and snorts. “I know ‘A’ isn’t your middle initial. So does that name really represent Talia Alone, because I swear to God sometimes I think that’s what you want is to be, alone.”

  His sharp words slice through me in a million tiny cuts, but I won’t let him turn this around on me. “That’s rich coming from a man who says he always fucks up every relationship he’s ever had. Of the two of us, who do you think will be alone in the end?”

  When he doesn’t say anything, I turn to leave, but he grabs my hand and yanks me against him. As we fall back against the wall, I brace my free hand on his chest, ready to push away, but he cups the back of my neck, keeping me in place. “You asked me why I want you. I could say it’s because you’re intelligent, stubborn, and sexy as fuck.” Tracing his thumb along the side of my neck, his gruff tone softens as his gaze scans my face. “But the simple truth is, I don’t have a choice.”

  Of all the things he could’ve said to me, that hits my heart the hardest. I hold back the sob that threatens to erupt and feel the burn slide deep into my chest. Why can’t he let himself believe I’m worth having something real with? I want to demand that he stop bullshitting me and tell me why, but I know the reason I haven’t asked. I’m afraid his answer will tear me apart even more than not knowing, because hope for a future with Sebastian has always been what I’ve clung to. I was an idiot to think I could just have some fun tonight and not pay for it. Sebastian is my drug and I’m the addict. We can’t keep doing this. His inability to try for something more between us will eventually shatter me.

  “Then I’m making the choice for us. Jared is gunning for you. He wants to fire you and that’s the last thing I want. Despite our inability to connect on a personal level, I think you and I make a good working team. I want you to remain as my security person.”

  Sebastian’s hand clamps tighter on my neck. “We connect explosively on a personal level and you damn well know it.”

  His statement makes my stomach flip-flop, but I force myself to keep talking. “That’s all I can offer, Sebastian.” I know that if we have sex, my heart will hurt every time I look at him, because I’ll know he won’t ever truly be mine. I need to get the hell out of his room, but the last thing I want to do is leave things so tense between us. Before he can say anything, I flatten my hand on his chest. “Think of me as a partner. And one of the things partners do is maintain equal footing.” He’s suddenly still, his expression hard to read, so I run my hand down his abs and over his belt. Sliding my hand down, I cup his erection lightly.

  He clasps my hand resting over his cock and wraps my fingers fully around him, his tone tight. “Are you suggesting a tit-for-tat?”

  I hold his gaze. “It’s a one-time offer. Your choice.”

  His jaw muscle flexes even as he moves my hand along the ridge of his erection. Pressing the heel of my palm against the tip of his cock, he says, “Then it’ll be on my terms.”

  That’s only fair. When I nod, he clasps my hips and quietly orders, “Unbuckle my pants.”

  When I start to look down to unbuckle his belt, he says, “Don’t look down. Look at me while you do it.”

  He’s pissed. I see it in his eyes, hear it in his tone, and feel it in the tightness of his hands clamped around my hips.

  It’s hard to keep my breathing even as I hold his gaze. He’s not saying a word, but his eyes convey so much. He’s not happy with this, but he wants me touching him, so he’s staying quiet.

  I unzip his pants, then push his fitted boxers down his hips, but pause when his gaze narrows on my hands. Reaching down, he slides the bangle on my wrist as far up my arm as it will go. Once it’s locked high in place on my forearm, he grates, “Wrap your hand around me and feel what you could’ve had tonight, Talia.”

  I’m both frustrated and aroused by his comment, but I follow his directive and slowly fold my fingers around his hardness.

  Despite his matter-of-fact manner, Sebastian groans the second I clasp him tight. Gripping the material of my dress at my hips, he starts to slide it up, but I shake my head. “This is just you.”

  “This is for me,” he says tightly. “Don’t deny me.”

  I have never been more turned on. He’s so on edge; all I can do is nod. When he slides his hand down my hip, and then slips it between my legs, thrusting two fingers deep inside me, I gasp and slit my gaze, but don’t say a word.

  “You’re fucking dripping for me,” he growls, fury flickering across his features. When all I do is swallow, he orders, “Release me.”

  The second I let go of him, he pulls his fingers from my body and fists his cock. Sliding his hand from tip to base, he rubs my moisture all over himself, then commands, “Now taste what you’re denying us both.”

  When I start to kneel, he clasps my arm, his voice a rough rasp, “Stay standing. I want you close.”

  I step to the side and the second I lean over and take him into my mouth, then begin to slide my tongue around his erection, his fingers fist in my hair. “Do you taste how sweet you are? That’s what I crave. Fuck—”

  He cuts himself off and tilts his head back against the wall as I suck him in, then glide my mouth up and down his length. I love how I taste on him. Sweetness mixed with his musky maleness. His masculine smell surrounds me and I can’t help but dig my nails into his upper thigh before I cup his sac firmly, then run my thumb down the sensitive seam, sliding it underneath.

  When he groans deeper and says a few choice curse words, his hips starting to move, I internally smile. It’s a heady sensation, having a sense of power over a man who normally dominates me. In this one instance, I welcome the role reversal. His breathing elevates and he grips my hair tighter, his other hand racing along my spine to cup my ass while he pushes his cock deep into my mouth. It’s exhilarating to see him like this; unable to stop himself from absorbing every bit of pleasure I’m offering.

  Suddenly I’m yanked off him and my back’s set against the wall. Pressing his hands on the wall on either side of me, Sebastian’s voice is gritty and raw. “There’s nothing I want more than to have you go down on me, but that’s not what I need right now. When I come, I want to be balls deep, to feel your warm pussy absorbing every last drop.” He slides his hand between my thighs, his intimate hold tight and dominant. “This is mine, Talia. I own it, goddamn it! You know it and I know it.”

  I’m literally shaking from his possessive hold and arousing words. He’s turned the tables on me so quickly, my insides are mush. There’s no denying he ruled my world earlier and could easily do so now if he pushed me. “Sebastian—”

  “No.” He shakes his head in a hard jerk and quickly releases me. “A blow job will only make me want to nail you to the wall even more. You need to leave. Now.”

  He’s kicking me out? I stare into his eyes, hoping he can see how torn I feel, but even as his breathing saws in and out, his intense look doesn’t waver, so I duck underneath his arm and walk away on shaky legs, my heart twisting.

  Just as I reach the doorway, he calls my name. I turn, my pulse ramping at a crazy pace. He holds my gaze, his tone low and dangerous. “Lock the door tonight.”

  As soon as Talia walks out, her gorgeous red hair trailing down her back, hips swaying in that way only a woman who unknowingly possesses natural sex appeal can, I dig my fingers into my scalp and blow out a harsh breath, trying to get control over my raging need to throw her on the bed and fuck some sense into her.

  Having her warm mouth moving over me felt so damn good. It would’ve been so easy to let her suck me off. I know it would’ve been heaven, but the battle of wills between us just elevated several notches. I meant what I said; until I’m coming inside her body and feeling her warm pus
sy clenching me tight, her hands clutching me to her, I won’t feel satisfied.

  I glance at the closed door, my dick throbbing, stomach muscles flexing. Damn-it-to-hell…since when have I not been able to trust myself around a woman? Not fucking ever. But I sure as shit don’t trust myself not to lose it if I follow her into her room. I could do it; I could walk in there right now and seduce her into having sex with me. I’d touch her in all the right places until she’s pulling me into bed, desperate to have me inside her. I know exactly what turns her on, and God knows I can’t get enough of hearing the sounds she makes when she’s begging me to let her come. Talia’s not a constant screamer like other lovers I’ve been with, but when she feels deeply, she expresses herself passionately. The moans and sighs she makes resonate through her sexy body. The arousing vibrations would bring even a deaf man to his knees. It’s the ultimate turn on knowing I’m the one who brings that out in her.

  I pace the room until my breathing settles and my heart returns to a normal pace, but a dull ache throbs in my stomach. At this rate, I’ll have the worse case of blue balls before this week is out. One thing has become very clear to me the last few days, I crave Talia, but I want her to want me without reservation. No, damn it, despite them. I want her so overcome she can’t control her responses. She was so close earlier.

  Jared showing up gave her too much time to think. Fucking prick. I could strangle that pretentious bastard. He had to have called me right after he left Talia’s room, because he wasn’t gone thirty seconds before my phone rang.

  “Black, this is Jared.”

  “Do you have more information?” I snap, annoyed at his interruption.

  “No more threats. I’m calling to inform you that I’ve replaced you with another security detail for Natalia. Clear out your things from the hotel room before eleven tomorrow. I’ll send you a check for the services you’ve provided so far.”

  I wasn’t surprised by Jared’s move. Honestly, I couldn’t believe it took him this long. Sometime this week, he grew a pair. I eliminate threats for a living and would’ve bounced my ass the first day I met me. But Talia’s situation wasn’t about a pissing contest, so I kept my response calm. “It’s not in Miss Lone’s best interest to change her security detail at this late juncture, nor do I think she would approve of the change.”

  “Natalia has no choice in the matter. We’re paying for the service. She’ll adapt to her new security person.”

  “For someone who obviously wants to date Miss Lone, you sure as shit know nothing about her,” I say before I hang up. When he tries to call me back, I ignore the call. A couple minutes later, I receive a text.

  Jared: Are we going to have a problem?

  I’m tempted to let Jared fail miserably with Talia—I know what her reaction to him saying she has no choice in her new security would be—but I refuse to take the risk with her safety.

  Me: I no longer work for you. Miss Lone has hired me directly. Any security you procure will be redundant and only get in my way. Save yourself the cost or I’ll remove whomever you hire from the premises myself. You will continue to keep me apprised of any new developments as pertains to Miss Lone’s safety. Any failure to do so will be met with DUE force. Am I clear?

  Jared: Are you threatening me?

  Me: Just stating a fact.

  As I glance over at my phones sitting on the desk now, it occurs to me that Jared probably saw the second phone lying near Talia’s on her bed and assumed the other belonged to me. That’s why he called me when he did. The bastard was testing to see if the phone was mine. He probably stood outside Talia’s door listening after he dialed. Asshole.

  A smile of satisfaction flickers that my phone in her room had been on silent mode. Knowing that I one-upped Jared’s suspicion purely by accident is the final amusing balm that helps settle my raging need for Talia. For now.

  I grunt my annoyance at the Midtown Central editor. I’ve never been so relieved to be out from under a contract. Jared is such a clueless idiot that he doesn’t realize he just pissed away the only leverage he had over me: my word. And now that I’m not being held to a contract, all bets are off. I’m going after Talia, full force, and on my fucking terms.

  When she and I are in public, my first priority will be getting her through this week unharmed. It’s been easier having her near in the hotel. I’ll deal with her qualms when I suggest she change location again. She won’t like it, but it’s necessary until I can find and eliminate this threat on her life for good. The threat could die down once the book tour is over, but I don’t trust that. One thing I’ve discovered over the past few days is how important Talia’s safety is to me. Every time we leave the hotel, my concern for her well-being is so intense, it feels like someone’s stabbing me in the chest with a hot poker.

  But when we’re alone again, and I don’t have to worry about others coming after her, she’s all mine. And she’ll have no idea what’s going to hit her. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost. But not enough to stop myself from finally having the one thing that has made me feel the closest to being whole in a very long time. Talia leaving me hanging for six months has put a damper on my desire for anyone else. One-night stands just weren’t worth the effort.

  She and I feel…unresolved. I’ve never been with a person that left me feeling like that before. It’s beyond frustrating. If we can spend time together, preferably in bed for at least a week, then maybe I can begin to feel like a normal guy who no longer obsesses about one particular redhead more than he should.

  Will we be able to be friends after I inevitably fuck it all up? I don’t know. I’ve never cared enough to bother before, but I hope so because she fascinates me as a person. For now, I’m not thinking that far ahead. When I’m not worrying about keeping her safe, my dick is doing most of the thinking. And until he’s satiated, nothing else will matter.

  But the idea of having her to myself for a week grows more appealing the more time we spend together. I’m going to submerge myself in Talia, drink in her feminine scent, soak up the feel of her skin, and taste every last part of her. I will wear her the hell out, so there’s no room for thoughts of anyone else in that intriguing mind of hers. I might be far from perfect, but I am one unrelenting, determined bastard in bed, which will absofuckinglutely be to her benefit.

  With a plan in place, I strip and fall into bed, knowing I can’t let thoughts of Talia keep me up all night long. She needs me at my best and that’s exactly what she’s going to get, no matter how much my balls ache.

  Shaking my head, I stare at my naked wrist as I wait in the hotel restaurant for Mina. After a restless night’s sleep, I woke this morning to find the bangle Jared had given me laying open on the pillow beside me. I instantly narrowed my gaze on the doorknob, but the push button was still locked. Not that it apparently stops Sebastian. He has picked my lock before. This time he just bothered to lock himself out once he “unshackled” me.

  Before I went to bed, I tried once more to remove it, but the thing was definitely locked on my wrist. I finally gave up, washed my face and crawled into bed, only to have erotic dreams of Sebastian bringing me to climax with his mouth, his hands, and other parts of his body but the one I wanted. I awoke in such arousing pain that I instantly headed for the shower. Anything to distract myself from thoughts of the domineering, infuriating, stubborn, autocratic, sharp-witted, sex-on-a-stick man on the other side of that door.

  Once I’d showered, I tried to put the bracelet back on, but it no longer stayed clasped. Of course Sebastian made sure that was the case, which was probably for the best. It’s not like I’m wearing the jewelry he gave me. Not that he knows any of this yet. I didn’t bother waking him, since I’m having breakfast here in the hotel. And honestly, communicating directly with him right now would just remind me of how I woke up this morning; painfully unsatisfied.

  Mina carrying an infant carrier into the restaurant sidetracks my thoughts of Sebastian, and I instantly stand and wait for her to come
to my table.

  She looks gorgeous; her long blond hair is slightly coated in sleet as she sets the carrier on the floor, then hugs me tight. “I’m so sorry, Talia. I just found out about my father contacting you. I’m horribly embarrassed.”

  I hug her and then pull back, clasping her shoulders. “I handled your father. No worries.”

  She smiles. “If anyone can put Adam Blake in his place, it’s you.”

  Chuckling, I slide my hands to hers and pull her into the seat across from me. “I just didn’t let him intimidate me. That’s all.” A sweet gurgling sound coming from the carrier draws my attention and I glance down at Josi. She’s staring at me with bright green eyes and a happy smile on her face. “Well, hello, little Josi. I’m so happy to finally meet you in person,” I say as I release Mina to touch the short blonde curls framing her little face. A hard lump forms in my throat. She reminds me so much of Amelia when she was tiny like this.

  While I let Josi pat her hand on my wrist, Mina unstraps her from the carrier. “Would you like to hold her?”

  I can’t even form the words. Instead, I just nod and wait with bated breath for her to hand me her four-month-old daughter.

  As soon as Josi settles in my arms, I pull her close and inhale her baby powder scent. Moments spent with Amelia flood back to me, fiercely bittersweet, but I force myself to stay in the present with Mina and Josi.

  “She’s beautiful, Mina.”

  Mina dabs at Josi’s mouth with a cloth, giving her daughter a worshiping gaze. “And drooling like a champ. I have a feeling she’s starting to teethe early. God help me.”

  I set Josi on my thigh and press her back against my body, wrapping an arm around her to hold her securely. While she coos and makes contented sounds playing with the toy her mom hands her, Mina looks up at me. “I truly am sorry. That’s the last way I wanted you to find out. I could kill Regan for going to my dad.”