Grind

by Sybil Bartel

  Not for food. “No.” Wanting this moment to last forever, I closed my eyes to just breathe him in, but a loud creak followed by a horrible crash made me jump.

  His arms tightened. “You’re okay.”

  “What was that?” Both the storm and his hold on me made my heart race.

  “A tree, or part of one.” He squeezed my hands then released me. “I’ll go check.”

  His heat left my back and I panicked. “Don’t go out there.” Wind rattled the shutters.

  He looked over his shoulder at me. “I’m not. Just checking the security feeds. Be right back.” He disappeared down the hall.

  I made my way into the kitchen. My hands shaking slightly, I reached for the coffeepot and filled it with water.

  “You drink too much caffeine.”

  Startled, I almost dropped the pot.

  He walked past me to the couch and casually sat. The same finger that’d run down my arm swept across the screen.

  I abandoned the coffeepot and walked up behind the couch. “What can you see?”

  “Everything.” The screen cycled through various camera angles of the house and property.

  Already there were several trees down. “Will we lose power?” And would he lose his security feeds so we wouldn’t see if Viktor was coming for me?

  Dane inhaled deep and let it out slow, then he answered me as if he could read my mind. “I’ll know if he comes for you.”

  Another crack sounded and I jumped. “What was that?”

  The tablet in his lap, he looked up at me. “You’re safe here, I promise.”

  The scent of rain mixed with his brand of soap, and all of a sudden I wasn’t in a hurricane. I was in a Dane Marek storm. His gaze a tether, it wasn’t all the things I noticed about him every time I looked at him, it was all the things he wasn’t that were suddenly obvious.

  He wasn’t cruel. He didn’t treat me like a slave. He didn’t intentionally put me on edge or lie to me. He didn’t purposely ignore me or make me wait for his attention as if I were nothing. He was quiet, reserved, and disciplined. And he was risking his life for me. But he was also a trained killer, and now I knew enough about him to make me a liability.

  Warm, strong fingers curled over my hand as I gripped the back of the couch. Awareness shot up my arm and I frowned.

  “Talk to me.” His thumb ran back and forth across my knuckles.

  I stared at his hand over mine. “I’m a liability to you.”

  He stilled. “How so?”

  I didn’t pull my hand away. “I know too much about you now.”

  He slowly nodded. “Do you know I have a sister?”

  “No.” I didn’t look at him, but I could feel his gaze on me.

  His thumb made a slow pass. “Did you know I was recruited by the CIA after the Marines?”

  I wasn’t surprised. I shook my head.

  Without taking his hand off mine, he put the tablet on the coffee table. “I turned them down. Did you know I got a Dear John letter on my first deployment?”

  “I’m sorry.” His girlfriend must have been a fool.

  “I’m not.” He rubbed the back of my hand, all the way up to my wrist. “Did you know Hunter was trained to be a PTSD service animal?”

  I looked up and met his gaze. “You have PTSD?” I was shocked. He was so strong and impenetrable.

  He didn’t answer my question. “Now you know more about me than Luna.” He threaded his fingers through mine. “Does that feel like a liability?”

  It felt worse because it felt like hope, but I wasn’t going to be that naïve about any man ever again. I pulled my hand away. “I think I should get some sleep.”

  I made it one step.

  “Irina.”

  I didn’t turn, but I paused.

  “I want to ask you for a favor.”

  My shoulders dropped and I closed my eyes. “What?”

  “Sit with me.”

  Inhaling, not knowing what his agenda was, yet unable to walk away from him, I turned. “Why?”

  His eyes were more turbulent than the storm outside as quiet command filtered into his voice. “I want you next to me right now.”

  Tingles spread across my skin, and I wanted to sit more than any command Viktor had ever given me, and that was terrifying. I knew Dane was aware of the effect he had on me when he barked out orders. I saw it in his eyes. But this wasn’t that. He didn’t command me to sit, he asked. Except his question came with a condition, and that condition had a time clock of two words. Right now. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Sit down and I’ll tell you.”

  Viktor had broken me and trained me. He’d used everything he’d ever learned about me against me. He used it for control. Alex Vega had also figured out I was submissive, but he had no idea what that truly meant. His orders had no depth. They were merely words. I only followed them because they were the easiest commands I’d gotten each week.

  But Dane was different, so very different that I had no defense against him or the patient expression on his face.

  Confused, I reverted to what I knew. My head down, my hands clasped in front of me, I sat.

  “You’re not a liability to me.” His voice was all at once quiet and forceful. He tipped my chin. “I will never hurt you.”

  Yearning, so intense it hurt, spiked every nerve in my body, and I couldn’t sit. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I knew I didn’t deserve this man’s trust. I pulled away from his grasp and stood. “I’ll leave once the storm passes.”

  He was on his feet faster than I could blink. But he didn’t stop there. He grasped the back of my neck and his mouth crashed over mine.

  Oh. My God.

  Hot and needy, an instant heat crawled up my body and every nerve was on fire. He didn’t kiss me. He drove his tongue into my mouth and took charge. Every stroke was an assault on my declaration to leave. His mouth possessing mine, his hips making a slow grind, he curled his huge arm around me and held me to him, not as if he wanted me, but as if he needed me. Desperately.

  My head spun.

  Viktor didn’t kiss me, not ever.

  But Dane was kissing me.

  And my body responded.

  Her arms wrapped around my neck and she melted into me.

  I shouldn’t have touched her, but I did.

  She wasn’t just vulnerable, she was a fucking mess. The right thing to do would’ve been to stay away. But the second my mouth was on hers, she turned into the submissive I’d seen on my kitchen floor, and I didn’t give two fucks about right or wrong or Fedorov. I was going to take her from him, and I was going to show her how a real man fucked.

  I didn’t just kiss her. Every stroke of my tongue through her sweet mouth was a promise. I knew what she needed. I’d known it the second I saw her. Stunning, aloof, she was so goddamn beautiful, every move of her body was made for seduction, but it was all training. She didn’t have an ounce of the confidence she should’ve had. I was going to fucking change that.

  Encircling her wrists, I pulled her arms off my neck. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

  Leaning into me, she drew in a ragged breath. “Kissing you.”

  “Kissing or fucking?” I pushed her upright. “Make a decision.”

  It took two seconds. Then the desire in her eyes turned to anger. “You kissed me.”

  I knew exactly what I’d done. “How many times in the past five years was it your choice to fuck?”

  With a sharp intake of breath, she glared at me then turned and took a step.

  I caught her arm. “I asked you a question.”

  She whipped around. “Let go of me!”

  There is was. That was the woman I fucking wanted. “Almost.” My dick got harder.

  “Almost?” She bit the word out and her temper unleashed. “No, now. If you think I’m going to stand here and let you throw my past in face, then you’re—”

  I grabbed her around the back of the neck and fisted a handful of her
hair. “I don’t want to fuck Fedorov’s submissive. I want to fuck the woman who put four staples in me.” I stepped up against her body, but then I slowly let go of her and gave her a choice. “If you don’t want me to touch you, walk away.”

  She didn’t move. The anger in her eyes morphed back to desire, and her voice turned quiet. “You’re insane.”

  My mouth an inch from hers, I gave her fair warning. “I’m going to taste you, touch you, and fuck you until you’re so sore, you’ll never forget my name. I’m going to grind against this sweet body of yours and make you feel like you’ve never felt before. But I don’t want to fucking own you. I’m not going to take a damn thing from you, except your orgasms. Because those? Are mine.”

  Her gaze dropped, her breath rushed out on an exhale, and she shrunk in on herself. Then every muscle in her body froze.

  Goddamn it. “What just happened?”

  No response.

  I fought from touching her. “Irina.”

  She stepped back. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  Realization dawned. “What was the trigger?”

  “You’re injured. You should—”

  “Tell me.” Barking out the order, I wasn’t any better than that piece of shit Fedorov. I knew what was going on, but I wanted her to say it. I wanted her to fucking acknowledge it.

  She lifted her head and her colorless eyes bored into me. “I know what you’re doing.”

  “Say it,” I demanded.

  The fire I’d glimpsed surfaced and the woman in her came out with a vengeance. “You think you can own my orgasms?” She laughed bitterly. “You won’t even make me come. You can grind all you want. It won’t change a thing.” She spun.

  I was on her before she could take a step. One hand between her legs, I wrapped my bad arm around her shoulders and brought my mouth to her ear. “You think I can’t make you come?” She had no clue who she was dealing with.

  Her back arched and she served me her ass on a silver fucking platter, but her voice told me everything I wanted to hear. “I know you can’t.” Bitter, angry, she spat the words out.

  “Keep that up,” I ordered. “I want that hatred for him to be the taste in your mouth when I make you fall apart harder than you ever have.” I cupped her hard and dragged my teeth across her ear. “Unbutton those jeans.”

  She shoved her sweet cunt into my hand and bit back a moan. “I didn’t give you permission.”

  I increased the pressure. “What are you waiting for?”

  “You’re a murderer.” Her chest pushed against my arm, but her hips ground down on my hand.

  “A cold-blooded and remorseless murderer,” I corrected. “And the next man that holds a gun to your head will also die.” I sucked the flesh under her ear then dragged my tongue across her jaw and pressed my hard dick into her lower back. “Unbutton those jeans, or tell me to stop.”

  She groaned and unbuttoned her jeans. “You’re not going to make me come.”

  I walked her two strides to the kitchen island, then yanked her jeans down to midthigh. “Who you trying to convince?” I dragged two fingers down her ass to her cunt.

  She gasped. “There’s only two ways I come.”

  She was soaked. “How’s that?” I thumbed her clit and rubbed my throbbing cock along her sweet ass.

  “Viktor.” She cried out his name as she rotated her hips. “I only come if he makes me.”

  I shoved two fingers inside her. “And the other way?” Jesus fuck, she was tight.

  An unintelligible sound emanated from her throat. “Me,” she panted. “I make me come.” She rode my hand like she was desperate.

  I pulled my fingers out and grasped her jaw with my thumb and two smallest fingers. Then I shoved my pussy-wet fingers into her mouth. Covering her back with my chest, I leaned her down, flush with the counter. “See that faucet?”

  She moaned around my fingers in her mouth.

  “Grab it right fucking now.”

  She didn’t hesitate. She reached for it and wrapped her hands around it like a lifeline.

  “Suck.” I shoved my fingers deeper.

  Her tongue swirled, and her spit, just like her cunt, dripped down my hand. I pushed her shirt up. My dick straining to get out of my pants, I rubbed it against her thigh. Pinching her small tit through her bra, I gave her a warning. “Do not ever speak his name again while I’m inside you.”

  She moved her hips to try to get my dick between her legs.

  I slid my fingers out of her mouth. “You want my cock?”

  Gripping the faucet, spread out over the counter, she writhed like a cat in heat. “Fuck me, now.”

  I dropped to my knees. “No.” I shoved my tongue into her cunt.

  She didn’t groan, she snarled.

  I yanked her jeans all the way off and bit her clit.

  Her whole body jerked.

  “You let go of that faucet, you’re not coming,” I warned.

  Lifting her legs, I put her shins on my shoulders. Her ass in my face, her sweet fucking cunt dripping down my chin, I drove my tongue into her.

  Then I set out to prove her wrong.

  Oh my God. Oh my God.

  This wasn’t happening.

  Everything about this was wrong, but it felt so right. My head a mess, I couldn’t think anymore. His tongue was driving into my pussy, and God help me, I wanted to come.

  My legs on his shoulders, my ass in the air, I gripped the damn faucet so hard, I thought I would break it. “You’re not even close,” I lied.

  His teeth raked over my clit, then he increased the pressure of his tongue.

  Squeezing my inner walls, conditioned by years of abuse, I told myself not to come. Desperate, I said something I’d never said to Viktor or Alex. “Stop.”

  Dane’s response was immediate.

  His tongue left my cunt, his hand left my tit, and he gently lowered me to my feet.

  My thighs shaking, my chest on the counter, my hands still holding on to the faucet, I didn’t move.

  I panicked.

  Every horrific thing Viktor had told me he would do to me if I cheated on him flooded my mind, and I started to shake.

  I’d left. He’d sent Peter to kill me. We were done. I knew that. But I couldn’t stop thinking about his threats.

  A blanket wrapped around my body and the silent alpha who’d come home to a woman in his house gently pulled my hands off the faucet without a word.

  Forced to hold the blanket or risk losing it, I pulled it up to my chest and pushed off the counter. “Thank you,” I murmured.

  He didn’t speak, and I didn’t look up.

  But I saw him. He was right there. His hip leaning on the counter, he was facing me. And he was waiting. I didn’t know a single thing about this man except that he was frighteningly beautiful in the most austere way possible and he was a cold-blooded killer.

  But I’d lost my fear of what he was capable of doing with a weapon. I pulled the blanket tighter. “I’m tired.”

  He inhaled, and then his deep, hypnotic voice filled the space between us. “What did he threaten you with?”

  I shouldn’t have been surprised that he figured out Viktor had threatened me. Dane watched me for reactions. I knew he gauged my body language, and his questions were too poignant. He was an observer like Viktor, but the similarities ended there. “You’re not much younger than him.”

  “Thirty-three,” he answered.

  I nodded. Viktor would be forty-three next month. Five years ago, I was flattered that such a well-dressed, thirty-eight-year-old successful businessman was paying attention to an eighteen-year-old innocent girl. Little did I know. “I was stupid… when I met him.”

  “He preyed on you.”

  “Maybe.” Or maybe I’d just been desperate enough to let it happen. I didn’t want to be that desperate for a man ever again, so I did what I never did with Viktor. I lifted my head and faced Dane head-on. “This is the first time I cheated on him.”

  Hi
s expression locked, he stated the obvious. “You slept with Vega.”

  “He made me. He said Alex was my gift.” My anger toward Viktor grew by the second. “But he forbade me to enjoy it. He said he owned my pleasure. He said if I was going to come, it better be at his hands. He told me not to let my body fail him while I was with Alex, or he’d punish me. He convinced me he would be able to tell, and I believed him so I never let myself come.” I didn’t know why I was telling Dane this, except that I needed to tell someone, and I didn’t have a someone. I didn’t have anyone besides Viktor and Alex, but now Alex had found his someone and Dane was here and he’d killed Peter and he’d protected me, but more, he’d stopped. He’d stopped when I’d told him to stop, which was something Viktor had never done. I couldn’t explain why that made Dane more dangerous to me than Viktor ever was, but it did.

  I stared at a man who would ruin me worse than Viktor ever could, then I gave him the ammunition to do it. “That was my trigger. You said you would own my pleasure. But I walked away from that. I walked away from a man who owned every single thing about me for five long years, and I didn’t think I would make it past the front door when I left, but I did. I made it, and I told myself no man would ever own me again.” I pushed down the memories of five years of painful paddlings and endless hours of being tied naked to every piece of furniture and fixture in the house. I swallowed the shame of my body’s response to every forced orgasm that came after every punishment, and I sucked in a breath for courage.

  “But then you said my orgasms would be yours. And oh God, I wanted it.” I desperately wanted to know the kind of pleasure he was offering. “I wanted it so bad, I was willing to forget everything I promised myself just to feel it… to feel you.” My voice dropped to a whisper and I hung my head. “Because the second you walked into your house and I saw you, I wanted to be yours.”

  His huge arms caught me and pulled me in close. His body heat surrounded me as the scent of my desire mixed with his soap and gas and the scent of man. It filled my lungs as he did something no man had ever done.

  He held me.

  Silent and strong and no agenda, he simply held me.