Mengliad (The Mengliad Series Book 1)

by Jana Janeway

  “I know it’s not, but I’m still sorry.”

  “I should be the one apologizing to you. And to them.” She gestured towards the front with a slight jerk of her head.

  Confused, he asked, “And why’s that?”

  “Seems like I’ve spent most of the last five days whining and complaining,” she answered, inwardly disappointed in herself.

  “If anyone has had a reason to, it’s you.”

  “Maybe.” She sounded like she didn’t believe that. “Still, seems to me that you guys have far more reason to, and yet you haven’t been.”

  “We have a little.” He laughed, bringing a short lived smile to her face. “I know I have, at least.”

  “Ditto,” Josiah chimed in. He then asked Bibi, “What’s the street name I’m looking for?”

  “It’s not so much a street as it is a dirt road, at least according to the directions, so I don’t think it’ll have some big fancy sign or anything. But it’s called Brittle Road.”

  “Is that all there is of the town?” Jessica asked suddenly, back to staring out her window, astounded by what she was seeing.

  Craddock moved to look, too, sighing when he realized it probably was.

  The main street they’d been driving on finally showed more than sand, desert trees, and rocks alongside the road, but what was there wasn’t much better. A general store, a post office, a police station, a small medical building with an equally small hospital attached, and a few other shops and buildings were the extent of what the tiny community had to offer in the heart of their downtown, all of which appeared to be near deserted as they drove past.

  “Not much of a social scene, I’m guessing.” Craddock wrapped his arms around Jessica as he scooted up behind her. “But that’s probably the point.” He sighed again when she did.

  “If they’re trying to isolate us from society,” Jessica grumbled, “they’ve succeeded.”

  “We still have each other.”

  His attempt at optimism was met with a small, appreciative smile.

  “I’m okay, Craddock.” She leaned into him when he kissed her temple. “And like you said, it won’t be forever.”

  “I can read you like a kindergartener’s book, too, ya’know.”

  He knew she was faking the brighter outlook. In response, she nodded and fell silent.

  “I think that’s it coming up.” Bibi pointed up ahead, receiving a grunt of agreement from Josiah. “Turn left.”

  The road was little more than dirt and gravel. It was barely a road at all, really, and only just recognizable as such through the contrast of the sand and weeds alongside it. The terrain was harsh at best.

  “I see now why they gave us an SUV,” Bibi mused, scanning the horizon for any sign of the houses in the distance. “We should be seeing them any time now.”

  The main house was the first to come into view, the second house barely visible from behind it. The perfectly manicured lawn was the third thing to catch everyone’s attention.

  “Dang!” Josiah exclaimed. “It’s like a freaking football field!”

  There were tall hedges on either side, and a small white wrought iron fence at the front, right where bright green grass met sand and rocks. Just off from dead center of the lawn, a winding concrete path led up to the unattached garage, trimmed in the same colonial blue gracing the proud home that stood nearby.

  “Okay, this makes up for the desolation.” Though what she’d said had been whispered, Jessica’s tone showed slight optimism.

  The single story ranch style home was obviously much loved by the previous owners, and while surely older, its undoubtedly constant care gave it a look of having been built only a few years ago.

  “If it’s this nice on the inside. . .” Jessica trailed off, staring at the house and property as they pulled up in front of the garage, focusing on the little details that made a house a home.

  Rose bushes lined the brick walkway that led away from the concrete driveway and to the front door, with hedges to the right of the arched entranceway, and azaleas to the left, under what was presumably a living room window.

  Craddock’s attention was more on Jessica, only glancing briefly around them with mild curiosity. The finer points didn’t matter to him. Wherever Jessica was, he would be happy, as long as she was.

  “Stop staring at me,” she quipped, whispering, smirking when he laughed. As soon as Josiah shifted into park and set the brake, she pulled the handle to the car door and exited.

  Following her out, Craddock wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder as he stared in the same direction she was. Every emotion she was feeling radiated off of her, the window to her heart and soul open and completely unguarded. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly.

  “Whoever lived here before,” Bibi guessed as she and Josiah joined them, “they obviously loved gardening.”

  “Nothing else better to do,” Craddock supposed. “It’s like an oasis in the middle of nowhere!”

  “Heads up!” Bibi tossed him the keys when he looked over at her; he barely caught them before they hit Jessica in the head. “Sorry.” Her apology was followed by a sheepish smile.

  Nodding in acceptance, he then asked Jessica, “Are you ready to go inside?”

  “Yeah. . .” She tore her eyes away from the house to smile back at him. “I think so.”

  Stepping up to the large wood door, its color matching the trim of the house, he keyed inside, stopping Jessica as she moved to enter by placing his hand on her shoulder. She looked over at him questioningly.

  “It’s customary to carry the bride over the threshold.”

  Rolling her eyes playfully, a smile on her face, she draped an arm over his shoulder and around his neck, essentially agreeing to participate in the tradition. He smiled back as he scooped her into his arms, shifting to slip past the doorframe and into the foyer. Bibi and Josiah followed them in a moment later, as Craddock was setting Jessica onto her feet.

  The living room became visible after taking two steps in from off the entranceway.

  “Oh my God.”

  “Oh my God good, or oh my God bad?” Craddock watched her, concerned; the shocked look she wore gave him no clue as to the answer.

  In slow motion, she shuffled forward, Craddock, Bibi, and Josiah directly behind, the three of them sharing puzzled looks off Jessica’s silence and dropped-jaw expression.

  “It looks like my living room back in New York.” She moved tentatively towards a painting hanging on the pale yellow wall behind the TV. “This is even my painting,” she whispered, in awe. “My nonny got it for me as a housewarming present, when I took over her lease and moved in. But, no, wait,” she added suddenly, upon closer inspection, touching the edge of the frame, “it couldn’t be. There’s no dent, from when the glass I chucked at Shea’s head missed him and hit it, during the charades incident.”

  “You threw a glass at your brother?” Craddock asked with a laugh. Jessica nodded absently, still examining the framed painting.

  “What was so incident-provoking about charades?”

  Still distracted, Jessica only glanced at Bibi before answering. “He was cheating.”

  Josiah scowled, confused. “How do you cheat at charades?”

  Reentering the present, Jessica turned and faced the three bewildered individuals staring back at her. “Sound effects. He was mooing.”

  “Remind me to never play board games with you,” Josiah teased, his attention shifting to around the room, taking in the décor with only a slight amount of interest.

  “I only get like that when people cheat,” Jessica insisted with joking defensiveness, approaching an oversized off-white chair situated in the center of the room.

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” Craddock quipped.

  “See that you do,” Jessica quipped back. A moment later, she grew serious again, seemingly off in thought. “The furniture is definitely not from my apartment, but it’s the same basic style.” Sh
e turned to face him. “How did they do this? Why did they do this?”

  It wasn’t Craddock, though, who answered.

  “They don’t usually,” Bibi told her. “Usually, when being relocated, the finer details, like furniture and stuff, are left up to you.”

  When Jessica simply nodded, moving away to inspect the couch more closely, Craddock turned towards Bibi, whispering discreetly, “They’re obviously going out of their way to make her happy.”

  Locking eyes with him, Bibi relayed through that action alone that she understood and agreed with what he was implying.

  “I think the kitchen’s through there.” Sounding more like she was speaking to herself than to them, she headed towards it without waiting for a response. Craddock was the first to follow; Bibi and Josiah were close behind.

  Pushing the door open cautiously, as if nervous about what she’d find beyond it, she inched inside, gasping before she even fully entered the room. Sharing concerned looks with Bibi and Josiah, Craddock rested his hand on the small of Jessica’s back, brushing his thumb across her spine.

  “Is that a good sound, or a bad sound?” He smiled a moment later when he realized he already knew the answer. Their connection to each other afforded him the insight enough to sense it.

  “It’s a good sound,” she assured him. “It’s like my dream kitchen! Spider burners! Granite countertop! Island and workstation in the center!”

  “Whoever lived here before apparently liked to cook, too, as well as garden.” Craddock’s smile matched hers, which grew as she threw herself into his arms. “You like it then?”

  Sighing happily, she nodded against him in response. Then, suddenly, she pulled back, almost to the point of setting him off balance. “Let’s go check out the rest of the house!”

  Craddock laughed as she bounded through the swinging door, but moved at a much slower pace when following, Bibi and Josiah at his side.

  “She needed something to be happy about after all this,” Bibi whispered sincerely, and Craddock’s smile faltered.

  “She did.” He wrapped an arm around his friend, pulling her into his side and giving her a half hug. “It’s been a rough few days for all of us, hasn’t it?”

  The deeper meaning hidden within his words was clear, and she nodded as she dropped her gaze to the ground. “Yeah, but we’re gonna be okay. Now.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right. Sis.” His emphasis on the word brought a smile to her face, which was exactly what he had hoped to accomplish.

  “Oh my God! Check out the size of the master bedroom!”

  Laughing at Jessica’s disembodied voice calling out from the back of the house, Craddock pushed through the swinging door, into the living room, and headed for the hall. He stopped short when he realized Bibi and Josiah weren’t following. Spinning around, he noted Josiah’s arm linked with Bibi’s, a smirk on his face, a somewhat melancholy expression on hers.

  “What’s up?” Craddock scowled, giving Josiah an upnod, requesting an explanation.

  “We’re gonna go check out our place now.” Josiah gave Bibi a gentle nudge with his shoulder against hers. “Give you guys some privacy,” he added. “Come by later, huh? We’ll give you the tour.”

  “‘Kay.” Craddock smiled at Josiah, but wiped it from his face as he looked to Bibi. “Bibi? You okay?”

  She forced a smile and nodded. “I will be. Don’t worry about me, okay?”

  “You’re too important to me,” he stared back at her pointedly, conveying his seriousness, “and I love you.”

  She dropped her eyes to the floor when tears filled them. “I love you, too.”

  “Craddock? You coming?”

  His attention remained on Bibi as he answered Jessica’s question over his shoulder. “Be right there, ‘kay, baby?”

  Her previous joy and wide smile dissolved as she shifted her gaze between Craddock’s back and Bibi’s tear streaked face, realizing then the reason for the tension that permeated the room. “Okay.” She looked away out of respect and down the hall. “Take your time.”

  He gave her a nod, his focus then moving onto Josiah, an intense expression his only communication.

  Catching on, Josiah began stammering. “I’m, um, gonna get the duffles. . . out of the car. I’ll meet you outside,” he said to Bibi, then quickly turned and bolted for and out the front door.

  “I want to help,” Craddock said after an elongated silence, “I just don’t know how.”

  “I’ll be okay, Craddock,” she insisted. “But. . . if I could ask one thing of you. . .”

  “What is it?” He approached her slowly, already fairly certain he knew what that one thing was going to be.

  “Please, just forgive me for what I did.” Shame prevented her from lifting her head, even after she realized he was right in front of her.

  “I forgive you,” he said without hesitation. Touching her chin, he encouraged her to meet his gaze, which she did. “It’s forgotten.” He smiled slightly to reassure her.

  Tears still flowing, she thanked him, and then she turned to leave, but he stopped her quickly by placing a hand on her shoulder. She glanced back at him, but otherwise remained perfectly still, and said nothing in response.

  “We’ll be by later for that tour, and to hang out, okay? Maybe we’ll get drunk and play poker or something.”

  Laughing, she faced him. “Anything but charades.”

  “Or else we’ll hide the glasses.” His smile grew, and then it dropped as he became serious again. “You will always be one of the most important people in my life. Remember that.”

  “I will. And ditto.” Her smile turned teasing. “You are my brother, after all.”

  “Right,” he drawled, smirking back. Then, a moment later, without warning, he pulled her into his arms.

  No further words were needed, so nothing further was said. Leaving his embrace after a comfortable few seconds, she offered a smile, which he returned, and then she stepped away and for the door as he watched her. As soon as he heard it close, heard the faint sound of the latch clicking, he spun around to face the hallway. He grinned as the mental image of Jessica entered his mind. They were finally alone.

  ****

  Anxiously waiting for Craddock, Jessica fluffed the pillows, perfected the corner folds on the bedspread, checked for dust, inspected the walk-in closet, and turned the lights on and off a dozen times, like someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder might do, all before taking up pacing. Just as she was starting her fourth trek across the room, the doorknob jiggled. The sound caused her nervous actions to stop abruptly, and her heart to begin racing.

  Peering inside from around the edge of the door, Craddock shot her a smile before entering. “I wasn’t sure which room you were in.”

  Nodding, she threw herself into his arms. “Is she okay?”

  “She will be,” he assured her. “It’s not going to happen overnight, but she will be.”

  “Does she hate me?” she asked.

  The question surprised him. “Not even a little bit. Why would she?”

  “I’m, like, the other woman.” She left his embrace, her arms crossing in an insecure self-hug as she stepped back and away from him.

  “For that to be true,” he argued, “she would need to be my girlfriend, which she isn’t. And never has been,” he added, in case that wasn’t clear to her.

  “I guess,” she muttered, sounding uncertain. “If not for me, do you think, maybe, you might’ve considered dating her?”

  He sighed heavily. “What are you hoping to accomplish with that question? Are you looking for reassurances that I’m not in love with her? ‘Cause I told you I’m not—”

  “I don’t know,” she interrupted him, and then asked, seemingly out of the blue, “Can you feel Chimie for more than one person?”

  Knowing what was being implied, he answered in a crisp tone. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Not only because it’s rare to feel it at all, but because once you feel it for someone, y
ou usually don’t go looking to find it with someone else.”

  “But, let’s say one does go looking for it. Is it possible to feel it for one person, but find it with someone else?”

  Realizing his assumptions had been wrong, that she wasn’t challenging him or his feelings, but asking due to genuine concern for Bibi, he dropped his gaze to the floor guiltily. “I honestly don’t know,” he whispered.

  “I’m worried about her,” she admitted, inching back into his arms, “and how this Chimie thing is going to affect her, long term.”

  “I know,” he wrapped one arm securely around her waist; his free hand stroked her hair, “and I am, too, but I can’t change how she’s feeling. I can’t make Chimie go away.” His tone betrayed his remorse for bringing it on in the first place.

  Sighing, she asked hesitantly, “Maybe if you hadn’t kissed her?”

  Startled, he pushed away from her, staring back in shock. “How did you know about that? Did Bibi—?”

  “No.” She cut him off before the question was fully asked. “I was watching, out the window, back at the motel.”

  “Why?” he asked, far from angry, but curiously miffed.

  “I don’t know why,” she lied, unnecessarily, since he knew she was.

  “Yes you do.” His tone was gentle in contrast to the accusation.

  “It was like torture,” she blurted out, “waiting to know where we stood! So, when Josiah went in to take his shower, I. . . peeked.”

  “Jessica,” he sighed, “I wasn’t trying to decide who I wanted to be with, when I went out there to talk to her. I was trying to let her down gently, so that she could move on. I royally fucked it up,” he added with self-directed irritation, “but that was my only intention.”

  Nodding, she whispered, “I’m sorry I invaded your privacy.”

  “That’s okay. I’m sorry I kissed her, and then didn’t tell you about it.”

  “That’s okay,” she accepted. But then all of a sudden, out of virtually nowhere, she burst into tears.

  He knew why she had. Her grief had been brimming just beneath the surface for a while. Since it happened, really, though initially, she did release some of it. But then she hadn’t brought it up again, and he felt it best that he not do so. Obviously, continuing to avoid it wasn’t wise. It needed to be addressed.