by Kita Bell
“Don’t be crazy. It’s real,” Eva muttered to her pillow. “It’s real.” Please be real.
Despite herself, she touched the bruise Brand had left on her breast, needing the reassurance. Sensation coursed through her and she shuddered – no. There was no way she would feel pleasure and comfort like this in the Asylum.
Footsteps moved. The floorboards in the hall creaked as the door opened. “Eva?” a deep voice said, and Eva jerked beneath the covers, gasping as she scrabbled through the darkness for something – anything…before she realized that it was Brand.
Then she felt like an idiot.
Eva let her hand drop, her heart pounding as she stared at him in the dim light of the doorway. His arms were at his sides, his dark hair was sleep tousled. He had stripped down to his boxers and taken his shirt off, and his golden skin looked almost warm in the moonlight, his eyes burning through her like blue flames. “Brand,” Eva whispered, and surprised herself with the sheer amount of relief in her tone. Her body relaxed.
He arched a brow, then hesitated as he glanced around her room. Eva felt her cheeks go hot again; okay, her room was a mess. And – she looked down, slid her palm over the wadded up pile of blankets and sheets that covered her body – she had never had a man in here before.
Not even a boy.
Just Rainey and her mother.
The floor creaked. Eva looked up and watched as Brand moved through her room, navigating the piles of running shoes, work clothes and textbooks. He shuffled half-finished homework off of the top of the ancient recliner and balanced it carefully on her tiny cluttered desk. His gaze slanted over her old honor roll ribbons and track trophies, then down to her diploma. Eva had been the first person in her Gens to get one since her cousin Justin. Rainey had made the frame, painting it with tiny golden stars. “Tacky,” her sister had admitted at the time, “but an awesome sort of tacky.”
Brand sat in the chair and looked at her.
Eva’s cheeks burned, tears too close. “Okay, I’m a mess.”
Brand gave a half-smile. “I’ve seen worse. You should have seen Nikandrie when she was young. And Cateline. I don’t think there’s any hope for Cateline. She’s still a mess.”
Instant – and inexplicable – jealousy coursed through Eva as she clenched her fists in the sheets. “Who’s Cateline?”
Brand’s smile deepened; he leaned forward and propped his chin on his fist. “Another cousin. She’s Joshua’s particular cross to bear.”
Eva blinked, then gave a shaky smile as she tried to regain control of her pounding heart, her inexplicable jealousy. “And Joshua is yours?”
“Something like that.”
The silence stretched. It was too full of things – too full of everything. Eva’s eyes fell to the crumpled sheets.
“Nightmares?”
“Something like that,” she murmured, the words scratchy. “Are Joshua and Kevin still downstairs?”
“Sleeping like kittens.”
Eva’s eyebrows rose. “Kittens, huh?” she asked, amused by Brand’s description. Somehow she doubted Joshua and Kevin were curled up like kittens. Brand nodded gravely, eyes glinting.
“Kittens,” he reiterated firmly, and somehow knew he was laughing silently.
Eva stared at him, feeling the need, the horror, the residual fear cascade through her. But when Brand was with her, it lessened, became manageable. Eva held his gaze, and bit her lip. Tried to contain her vulnerability. “Brand, will you…” …come to bed, hold me, be with me… “…tonight. Just for tonight, can we…”
Brand’s face hardened.
His hand dropped from his chin as he leaned back in the chair, away from her. Pain lanced through her – only, somehow, it didn’t feel like her pain. It felt different, darker. “You said ‘temporary’ was over, Eva.” There was a growl, the deepest of vibrations to Brand’s words. “That you had enough.”
“Just for tonight,” Eva said, needing him. “Please.”
He cursed softly, and straightened. He was utterly still, staring at her. His lips were hard, his jaw taut. His eyes were, for once, unreadable. Eva gripped the sheets, feeling perilously close to a breaking point. She started to shake. If Brand could just sit there and watch her fall apart, and not feel a thing…
He cursed again.
Then Brand moved out of the chair, climbed into her bed, and shifted Eva so her back was to his muscular chest. As her body curled into his own, Eva reached back and trailed her fingers down his side, feeling the strength there, the desire. His thick erection was a hard length against her bottom and she moved against it, feeling her kindling hunger ignite.
Perhaps it was because they were over, but her desire for him had become a living thing.
Brand’s arm came around her body, pinned her still.
“Temporary, Eva. I will hold you – tonight. But remember, you were the one who said we were temporary. Unless you think we’re more than that?”
Eva stilled as Brand’s words worked through her brain.
She forced herself to lie still, to ignore the disappointment soaring through her aching body. After a moment, her hunger abated. Slightly. Eva relaxed into him, feeling the ridge of his erection as she stared at the dark wall of her closet, at the old clothes hanging inside, and tried to think.
It was better this way.
Eva pulling Brand’s scent into her lungs, and let the anxiety drain from her. Brand shifted forward, gently kissed the back of her neck. “We’ll find her,” he said softly.
Eva didn’t say anything. She stared at the dark wall, studied the paneling. This had been her mother’s room before her. She and Rainey used to share the other room – the room that was now Rainey’s. There were so few things in this house that were her mother’s. There were so few things in this house that were Eva’s.
Nothing ever lasted. Not truly.
“That door today,” Eva said to the darkness before her, the presence before her, “in the Resh’s house. He held her funeral there.”
“Whose funeral?”
“My mother’s.”
She felt his breath catch. She could tell he was waiting. Eva twined her fingers into the crumpled sheets, wadding them into a ball, as the steady rhythm of his chest resumed at her back.
“She drank drain cleaner. Drain cleaner and antifreeze. She killed herself. The Resh didn’t want her to leave the Gens, but she left anyway.” Eva stared into the dark as his arms tightened around her, squeezing almost painfully. Anchoring her. Eva shivered. What she had said – it wasn’t something she had ever told anybody. But she had needed to say it, Brand had needed to know. And now that the words were out, now that he knew why nothing could ever last, her body relaxed. The tension leached out of Eva as she drifted toward sleep, cocooned in Brand’s arms, Brand’s scent. But before she drifted away entirely, she touched his clenched hand, soothing the back of it so he would know.
“Everything’s temporary, Brand.”
Brand Kade stared for a long time at the woman in his arms.
Everything’s temporary.
Well at least he knew now why she thought that. Not that it made him feel any better. Not that it made the bond they shared any easier.
The knowledge that Eva’s mother had killed herself didn’t make anything easier, because – Brand sighed, stroking his fingers through the silky waves of her hair – Eva was so utterly convinced. All of the beautiful stubbornness Eva possessed was being channeled into a fierce belief that nothing could ever last.
Worse, she was right. They might die tomorrow. Everyone died. Just because Kaspian were stronger, faster and lived longer than mortals, didn’t guarantee their lives were any safer.
If anything, immortality guaranteed their lives would be more violent. Immortality guaranteed that – if and when a Kaspian died – it would be a tragic, painful, end.
That was what all their futures held.
But what Eva refused to see was that was why Kaspians had to make their lives count.
They had to love their family, protect their family. And if and when a blood tiger found his amati… Brand sighed, kissing her forehead. He let his lips travel to her ear, her jaw. He nibbled her throat, not enough to leave a mark, not enough to draw blood, and was gratified by her sigh, the deep scent of her arousal filling the room as she shifted against him, onto her back.
If and when a blood tiger found his amati, he would never let her go. Because there were no second chances. A blood tiger might follow his amati to North Carolina if need be, but he would never let her go.
God knew Brand wasn’t taking any risks.
But he couldn’t force Eva to stay – not against her will. That he had come to realize. And he sure as hell didn’t deserve her. Not after what he had taken from Khael. Perhaps this was fate, karma, whatever, laughing at him.
Brand’s lips dipped lower, found her collarbone. He shouldn’t be doing this. He had told himself he wouldn’t do this. When this was over, he would keep her…but Eva needed to understand that she was his.
“Brand,” Eva moaned sleepily, not truly awake, and shifted forward, rolling her shoulders so the neckline of her tank top dipped. Brand followed the trail of that cloth downward with his lips, to the soft, giving flesh of her breasts. He skimmed the upper curves, licking the hardened points through the flimsy cotton. He suckled until she groaned, her arousal becoming so palpable that the throbbing of his cock became more than painful.
Too close. Any closer and he wouldn’t stop.
Brand was rising away when he saw it.
A thin red-black line crawled up the pale inner slope of her right breast. He wouldn’t have thought anything of it, except…
Fuck.
He pulled down the neckline of her shirt, exposing the creamy round of flesh. There, right over her heart was a fucking....
…was his fucking mark.
He had Marqued her.
“God damn,” Brand swore, staring at the red-black lines. It was partially matured. The lines were still faintly blurry, not yet crisply defined, but they had solidified, forming a spiraling shape half the width of his palm. It was mesmerizing, beautiful, sinuous – and gave the impression of a unified whole. The blurriness would disappear after they completed the bond.
If they completed the bond.
Brand had no idea what the hell the shape of it meant. None of the Marques formed anything comprehensible. But each design was unique between amati, as unique as a shared fingerprint. If Eva ever bit him, his Marque would form her match.
Emotion shook Brand. His hands trembled, and he carefully put them down onto the bed, one on each side of his amati, as he tried to steady himself. He had Marqued Eva. Somehow, he had Marqued Eva.
It was the first step…
It must have been the last time they were together. When he thought he tasted her blood.
Brand grit his teeth. There was no good way to explain this.
And when he did…she would hate him.
Oh hell, Brand thought dimly, as he stared at the nascent Marque. At her breast. These moments were supposed to be beautiful moments, sacred moments. Not moments like…this. Not moments that ended with fighting and anger and his amati wanting to leave.
Maybe he deserved to end up like Khael. He was about as good at this as Khael had been.
He couldn’t let her go.
“Brand?” Eva murmured, sounding a fraction more awake. Her eyes were closed, but she reached unerringly to tangle her fingers through his hair.
Brand inhaled. Then – because he couldn’t help himself – he leaned down and swiped a lick over the Marque on her breast. Because Eva was his.
Spring rain and freedom, sunlight and leaves. Eva’s Marque carried both their tastes, both their scents. It was the symbol of their potential bond. Eva shuddered and gasped the air into her lungs on a stunned, shocked moan and her eyes flashed open.
Brand brushed a kiss over her Marque, treasuring it for that bare space in the way it was meant to be treasured. Treasuring Eva.
Then he raised his face and met her silver wide-eyed gaze.
“Have you changed your mind?” Eva said with sleepy hopefulness, running her fingers through his hair so that Brand’s heart ached. “One last go-round?”
He kissed her, a fierce kiss, and she caught his lips, tangling her mouth with his. Then Brand pulled away and said, “No.” Nothing ‘last’ about it.
Her expression turned to an almost mutinous disappointment.
It was adorable.
“Go back to sleep, Eva. We have to leave early.”
After a moment, she whispered, “Don’t say I didn’t offer,” then turned away as she let her eyes drift shut.
Brand waited until Eva’s breathing steadied before he rolled onto his back and pulled her body up over his chest. Eva curled into him, fitting her body to his own. As he smoothed his hand down her spine, he imagined he could feel her Marque pressed against his heart.
He had Marqued her – things had changed.
He still needed to tell her.
It was a long night.
Chapter 14
The next morning, Eva tossed a few treasured possessions into an oversized black duffle and slung it over her shoulder. Then, after securing her feet in her favorite pair of running shoes and stealing Rainey’s blue fleece jacket, she brushed her fingers through her short dark waves and joined Brand, Joshua and Kevin in front of the house.
“You ready?”
Eva nodded, steadily meeting the question in Brand’s gaze.
She wasn’t going to return. Ever.
Brand gave a short nod, and swung around to survey the trees. “Then I’ll let you lead the way out of here. Since,” his voice was dry as he glanced back toward the Turner Gens, “we seem to have lost our transportation.”
Eva flashed him a shaky smile, before starting down the path through the trees. One thing she had never expected was to be leaving the Turner Gens so openly. Another thing she never expected was to be leading three Stronghold warriors in her wake.
Despite her worry, despite the fear for Rainey that had settled like cold thick iron in her stomach, Eva’s heart lightened.
She leaving. For good. She had dreamed of this for years.
As they cut through a branch in the trail and turned toward the edge of the park, Brand came to walk beside her. “You’re glad to be leaving,” he observed.
“Yes.” Eva linked her hands firmly around the duffle straps. “I’ve dreamed of it for years.”
When they entered the park and came to the point in the trail Rohe’s guards had taken her, Eva hesitated. Brand’s fingers brushed the back of her hand and Eva sucked in a breath, turned, and hurried on. The feel of Brand’s touch lingered on her skin much longer than her momentary fear.
A figure moved in the trees to the left, just before they cut from the park into the town. Eva glanced over, met her cousin’s eyes. Her stride hitched, but Justin just gave a nod and a short wave, regret on his face before he faded back into the cover. Eva’s breath eased and she turned to the left along the city walk, toward the business district.
She understood the regret in Justin’s gaze. No matter how much they didn’t get along, no matter how much they argued, they were family. Eva, Rainey and Justin…they were the only close family the other had left.
Kevin, Joshua and Eva waited outside while Brand went into the rental center. After he came back with a set of keys, they loaded the SUV, bought their breakfasts, and began the drive to Vermont.
Eva rode beside Brand in the front and stared out the window at the old snow crusting the ditches. They stopped for lunch in Virginia, then supper in New York. By the time they reached the motel – that same motel Brand and Joshua had first taken Eva to, in what felt so long ago, it was past midnight.
“Here?” Eva stared through the darkness of the parking lot, trying to pull the vehicle’s heat into her bones before she stepped out into the ice and cold. She tried to keep the trepidation from her voice.
“Does this bother you? I don’t think,” she heard Brand frown, “that there are any other motels in the area.”
Eva turned from the window and realized that Brand was watching her. “It’s fine,” she said, weighing her own words, and was surprised to find that they were true. “Nothing bad happened to me here.”
Just good things. Meeting you.
Brand reached over, cradled her cheek. Eva licked her lips. Then Joshua arrived back from the motel office, juggling the room keys in his hands. He banged a gloved fist on Brand’s window, and Eva jumped. “Hurry up you two! It’s fucking cold outside!” Brand didn’t so much as twitch, smoothly withdrawing his hand, callused fingers brushing gently over Eva’s cheek so she shivered.
This time, they were on the motel’s second floor. Eva relaxed until she realized that Joshua had only rented one room. One room with double king beds, but still…
She turned to find Joshua grinning as he slouched against the wall. “What? Why did you do this – this is as bad as that dratted train car!” Eva’s words exploded in a frustrated half-snarl. She dropped her duffel to the floor.
Joshua smirked. “Couldn’t be helped.”
“If you think I’m going to share a bed with any of you…” Eva’s words choked off, she stared at the double beds in dismay.
If she was going to sleep with anyone it was going to be – well, she didn’t dare sleep with Brand, not with the other two present.
She admitted it. Sometimes she just wasn’t accountable.
Definitely not last night, and definitely not where Brand was concerned.
Joshua arched a brow and looked like he was about to laugh. Brand, entering the room behind them, lightly cuffed Joshua on the back of the head as he moved past, saying, “No. Joshua’s going to be a gentleman and offer to take the floor.” Joshua snarled a protest.
“But we’re still sharing…” Eva broke off and shot Brand a pleading. There was no way she was going to get over her attraction for Brand if they had to share a room. There was no way she’d be able to hide how much she wanted him, if he was sleeping in the next bed over. If the room was filled with his scent, his body.
