by Kita Bell
And worse, trying to deal with that with Joshua and Kevin present?
God.
“We’re more secure this way. I won’t worry about you being kidnapped in the middle of the night,” Brand said in an incredibly neutral tone that had no hope of reading.
She closed her eyes. Okay. That might be true. It probably was true. In fact, it was a bit of a relief.
She would just have to – somehow – deal with it.
Eva woke the next afternoon to find Joshua slouched in the chair across from her. His boots were propped on the motel’s small wood executive desk and he was watching some sort of Japanese game show on TV while eating cold Chinese.
Eva sat up and stared at the food. Her stomach growled. Her mouth watered.
“Get your own,” Joshua said, eyes fixed on two combatants winding their way through a brightly-colored obstacle course.
“Where?” She narrowed her gaze.
Joshua pointed to a mini-fridge tucked into the corner of the room. “Brand and Kevin brought supplies back before they went out again.”
Eva’s stomach sank. “Out. Again?”
Joshua snorted, deftly picking the beef from his carton with chopsticks. “Don’t look like that. They’re mapping the Asylum, not attacking it. Not yet anyway,” he muttered, then winced as one of the contestants got clobbered.
“They found it? They are there already?”
“Early this morning. You were sleeping.”
Irritation coursed through Eva. She straightened and slipped her feet from the covers. Rainey was in that Asylum. With Rohe. They didn’t have time to wait. “They don’t need to map it out. I already know what the Asylum looks like. I already know where we need to go to get my sister,” Eva snarled as she stood in front of Joshua, fists propped on her hips.
He looked up inquiringly, then ate another piece of beef.
Eva scowled. “Well?”
“We were hoping,” Joshua said dryly, “not to get caught by Rohe and her evil minions. Unless you’d prefer to spend more time in her tender care, and drag the rest of us with you? And by the rest of us, I mean a half-trained Tracker, Stronghold’s overworked Ayin…and the love of your life, me?” Joshua spread his arms wide and left the question hanging as a cocky grin stretched his face. Eva flashed her teeth at him.
“You’re annoying.”
“I’ve heard that before,” Joshua said easily, picking through the carton. “They all change their mind, sweet cheeks.”
Eva growled, grabbed a towel, and stomped off to the bathroom.
Brand thought Joshua was his cross to bear? More like her cross to bear.
Eva ripped her clothes off and slammed into the shower before twisting the dial with more force than necessary. It spun too hot, and she snarled as water burned her skin, retreating to the corner to wait as the temperature stabilized. Her hands cradled her breasts and she shivered with that ever-present near arousal as her fingers brushed the bruise Brand had left. Though when Eva touched it, it had nowhere near the effect as when Brand kissed it the other night.
Wait. Eva frowned.
Brand had given her that bruise three days ago. It should have healed by now.
She had spent the last few days stumbling around in misery – then fear and horror. Now, Eva looked at her chest – and shrieked.
“What…?” A mark. A symbol? Someone had drawn some kind of symbol on the inward slope of her left breast. With ink. “Joshua. Fucking joker’s gone too far. If he thinks this is funny…” Eva muttered, trying to control her wrath. The pervert had touched her when she was asleep. “Wait till you see what I do to you…” She scrubbed fiercely at the symbol.
And gasped, dropping the washcloth over the drain. Pure lust shot through Eva, her skin tightened, nipples sharp and ready. It was as if Brand cradled her body into his; as if he had taken her breast into his mouth, had slipped his finger between her thighs and was teasing her. As if, somehow, Brand were here, and not…not…wherever the hell he was. Eva’s body shook. “Oh my god.”
The water level crept up to her ankles as Eva stared down at the red-black linework and knew.
“This is real.” This was no prank. Whatever the hell the marking was, it had to do with Brand. It had to do with what Brand wasn’t telling her.
Worse, it had to do with that bruise he had left on her body and why he had freaked out when he thought he had bit her.
Not even Rohe had left a mark behind. Not like this. Not something that, in her soul, Eva knew was permanent.
Fear and fury hit Eva in quick succession – she desperately grabbed at the fury and held onto it.
The emotion cascaded through her, cutting off her arousal. She slammed her palm into the shower dial, stopping the water as she shoved the door open and splashed from the pool of water. She didn’t bother to unplug the drain. Instead, she grabbed a towel, wiped off the mirror and stared at the marking in the streaky reflection.
Smooth red-black linework crawled over the inner slope of her left breast; it looked like some kind of symbol, or tattoo, but Eva had no idea what it stood for. It was centered over the juncture where Brand’s teeth had pierced her skin, the linework extending from the edge of her right breast to the border of her left areola.
“Fuck.” Eva raised her fingers to touch it – then thought better as she remembered her last stunned reaction. She didn’t swear often, but… “Fuck.”
It looked like that tattoo on Khael’s neck. But shaped differently.
Her rage skyrocketed.
“Joshua!” she shouted his name and heard Joshua curse, feet hitting the floor. “Joshua!”
The wooden bathroom door shattered open beneath Joshua’s fist, a steel dagger gripped in his left hand and chopsticks in his right, his expression deadly. His intense gaze darted about the windowless bathroom searching for a threat – dropped to the pooling water – then he turned to Eva in irritation.
“What the hell, Eva? You made me drop my lunch.”
Eva glared at him. “What the hell – what the hell?” despite herself, her voice escalated, and she knew if she didn’t breathe, she was going to start screaming soon. She didn’t care. She pointed to the tattoo on her left breast. “I’m the one who gets to ask that question. Now you tell me: what the hell is this?”
Joshua’s eyes had already dropped to her breasts.
The appreciation in his gaze transformed to shock. “Eyes up,” Eva snarled, belatedly realizing that he wasn’t just looking at the tattoo, and saw the amazement in Joshua’s expression turn to dismay as she swiftly pulled a towel around her body.
“Damn,” Joshua eased back from the door, apparently not listening to her. “Brand Marqued you.”
Then Joshua, the same hard-ass Joshua who acted like her nemesis half the time, blushed and turned his back. As if suddenly he had developed a conscience when it came to her. The scent of his discomfort filled the air. “I shouldn’t be here,” he muttered, clenching his scarred hand into a fist as if he were trying to retain his grip on something. “You shouldn’t have shown me that.”
“I don’t care. What is it?” Eva snapped. She ignored the deadly edge to her own voice as she started toward Joshua.
Brand’s cousin backed into the main room as if Eva carried the plague. “Ask Brand,” he muttered.
“How? He’s not here. He doesn’t tell me anything – tell me what it is!” she demanded. “Brand left me here to risk his life and do who-knows-what, scouting out Rohe’s Asylum. It’s not like he’s going to explain. So you’re going to!”
Joshua gave Eva a narrow look. “No.”
She growled, low in her throat, and clutched the towel tighter with an impending sense of doom. “Why not?” Then, more quietly, not quite able to keep the tremble from her voice, “Joshua…please. What did Brand do to me?”
Joshua’s expression stilled. He sighed, his expression settled…and suddenly, he looked much more mature than Eva ever would have guessed him to be…mature and resigned. Eva s
ucked in a breath.
“This,” Joshua finally said, after a long second of studying Eva with distant gray eyes, “has gone on long enough. Someone needs to explain to you about Brand, Eva. And hell. It looks like it’s going to be me.”
Eva sank to the edge of the bed as she fixed her gaze on Joshua. “What isn’t Brand telling me?” she asked, the unbearable need to know growing inside her until not even she understood it. “What is this mark on my chest?”
The need to know blocked out everything else.
Joshua swiped a hand through his sandy hair. He leveled a look back at Eva before picking up the remote to switch off the TV. When he pivoted back, he was fidgeting with a dagger. His expression wasn’t angry, just thoughtful.
He’s stalling. Eva narrowed her eyes. “I’m waiting.”
Joshua looked up. “Brand’s fucked up, Eva. Maybe he thinks you need time. Or that he needs time. Or that he doesn’t fucking deserve you. I don’t know what’s going through his head, but what I do know is that he needs you. That bastard needs you. And hell if I understand, but I think he’s running scared. So don’t you dare abandon him just because you’re angry.” The last was an order.
Eva snarled even as she tried to understand Joshua’s words. “Brand’s not ‘running scared.’ He doesn’t have anything to be scared about.”
“Doesn’t he?”
Eva bit her lip, dissatisfied and more than upset. “You’re wrong,” she said bluntly, smashing down a small sense of pain. “Brand doesn’t need me. He has a family, a Gens. Friends. As for deserving me,” Eva smoothed her fingers down the towel, “the only one who should be concerned about deserving me is me.”
Joshua curled his lip, gray eyes flickering, then said bluntly, “You’re right. It isn’t a matter of deserving. It’s a matter of bonding. Of amati.”
“You mean lovers. Sex.” Eva spoke flatly. “Of course you would think it was about sex.”
Joshua flashed her a feral smile. “Sex is sex, Eva. The amati bond is different entirely.”
The amati…bond? Dismay sank through Eva even as she arched a brow, challenging. “Different how?”
“It’s about love,” Joshua said so bluntly, so starkly, that Eva stared.
“You’re serious?”
Joshua growled, gaze flickering gold, and Eva closed her mouth on her disbelief. Okay, he’s serious.
“The amati bond is about love. Partnership. Pleasure. Finding the woman you will look after, care for, hold and protect for the rest of your life. The woman whose happiness is your happiness, whose passion is your passion, whose desire is yours because you know her breath and blood belong to you. The woman you would give your life for. The woman who will mother your children. The woman who, even as you own her, owns you. It’s about family. Belonging. Bloodlines. Future. It’s about,” Joshua hesitated, voice going low and harsh as he cleared his throat, “no longer hunting alone.”
Silence.
Joshua was focused on the wall behind her. His expression was so careful, so still, that Eva was afraid to say anything. Because Eva knew that expression. It was the one that shown from her own face when she was trying desperately, fiercely, to hold herself back.
When she was trying to keep from wanting too much. From hoping too much. From praying that somewhere, someday, she just might catch a break. Hope invited failure, but sometimes she wanted so badly that it felt like claws shredding through all that remained of her soul.
That was how she felt.
“Bloodlines?” Eva asked hoarsely, the only safe comment.
Joshua’s eyes met hers. He didn’t seem to see her; his scarred left fist was a tense knot at his side. He shook himself. “Only tigers of the Kade or Elisaie lines can form an amati bond.”
Eva’s breath rushed out in relief…on the edge of a crushing disappointment. She buried the disappointment, refused to think on it. “So that’s not me. It doesn’t apply. I’m from Turner Gens.”
“You’re Brand’s amati,” Joshua said with dark certainty, eyes going to her chest as if he could see through the thin towel she clutched. “He is a Kade. He felt the potential bond. And he Marqued you.”
“Marqued me. So this is a Marque.”
“Yes.”
It was too much. “So what if Brand bit me? Marqued me.” Eva bared her teeth. “When does it go away?”
“Never.” Joshua flashed a feral grin. “Marques never go away. You’re stuck, Eva. Get used to it.”
Her snarl broke loose. “Obviously you don’t have an amati.”
Joshua’s smirk disappeared. “I would chew my right arm off if I thought it would bring her to me.”
Crazy male.
“And what?” Eva said flatly. “I’m just supposed to lie back and bear children? I’m supposed to sit around and play ‘tame wife’? All because Brand Marqued me?” Eva’s jaw gritted. Deep inside a tiny voice pointed out that she wasn’t being fair to Brand. Doesn’t matter. Brand’s not here. Joshua was talking like everything was permanent, when she knew it was not. “If Brand even thinks he can do that and take another woman, he’s insane.” If Brand ever took another woman, Eva would kill that woman.
And it would kill her. Deep inside it would kill her.
Joshua’s snarl pulled Eva back. “No. Amati don’t take other partners. They don’t want other partners. It is…” he grimaced, shook his head, and spread his arms wide. “Do you want me, Eva?”
“I never wanted you,” she told him flatly.
Maybe he was handsome, but he was as annoying as Rainey.
Surprisingly, Joshua smiled. “That is because Brand found you. Amati, Eva. You are amati. Brand doesn’t want another female any more than you want me. Though,” and his gaze was pointed, “you should be talking to him about this. He’s going to kill me when he finds out.”
“You just keep on talking,” Eva said acidicly, pulling her feet up onto the bed, “since Brand doesn’t tell me about anything.”
“He doesn’t tell anyone anything,” Joshua shot back. “Brand is used to hunting alone. He doesn’t share easily, and he doesn’t share well. He has his reasons.”
Eva’s lips tightened. “Reasons? There are no good—”
“Did Brand ever tell you that he took Khael’s memories of Lis? After she died?”
Lis? Like-a-sister Lis? Eva froze, an odd shock and dismay reverberating through her. “No…”
Joshua’s gaze was sharp. “Brand went into Khael’s mind and took out anything that was related to Lis. Lis and Brand grew up together, so when Khael came to, he didn’t remember anything about Lis – and he barely remembered that he had a brother named Brand. Dmitrei told me. Brand wasn’t sane for a year. Neither of them were. In Khael’s case, still aren’t.”
Horror replaced Eva’s anger.
“Brand did that – Brand just took…”
Joshua gave a dark smile. “He took away Khael’s memories. He took away Khael’s amati. He took away his brother’s nascent bond.” Then Joshua’s face gentled, seeing her pain. “And he can’t forget.”
The words ruptured through Eva. Jealousy, pain, fear, rage…she didn’t know what to feel. She didn’t know how to feel. Joshua paced away. Eva choked, snarling, as her world spun.
No one was here to steady her. Brand wasn’t here to steady her. Not that she needed Brand because this, this…
Eva touched the Marque over her heart. Fisted her hand there, protecting it. She hadn’t asked for it, hadn’t been ready for it, but the thought that someone could just take away everything she had experienced with Brand was more than terrifying.
It was horrifying.
“Brand would never do that,” Eva whispered, not sure what she was trying to convince herself of. Because she and Brand were always supposed to be temporary – not this. She wasn’t supposed to feel like this. Not for Brand, not for anybody. “Never,” Eva snarled, and knew her eyes were gold.
Joshua treated Eva to a long look. “Khael’s amati died. Khael was trying to god
damned follow her. To track her. And he was maddened enough to think the only way to do that was by killing himself. If Ashtoreth came and told you that taking her memories was the only way to keep your sibling alive – wouldn’t you do it?”
In a heartbeat.
Eva dropped Joshua’s gaze.
“So maybe you understand. He carries those memories. He’s already been fucked-over once. So that’s why he’s afraid of being fucked over again – by you.” Joshua walked toward the door of the motel room. As if their conversation was over, as if he hadn’t just ripped Eva’s heart open. “I’m going down to the lobby. I need some peanuts for this Chinese. You want anything from the vending machines?”
So casual.
Eva’s confusion, her betrayal exploded outward, changing into a wave of pure helpless rage.
“I’m not Brand’s amati – I can’t be Brand’s amati! I don’t even want to be Brand’s amati!” Eva shouted, furious with Joshua, with Brand – with anybody and everybody, including herself.
Especially herself. She gripped the towel over her breasts.
“Then why, Eva,” Joshua’s infuriating words drifted back to her as he shut the door behind him, “do you keep touching that Marque?”
Brand left Kevin loading supplies into the SUV and walked across the snow-packed lot to the motel. He peeled off his gloves as he strode down the hall, then glanced up, feeling eyes tracking him. Joshua. His cousin shifted from the shadowed alcove beside the vending machines, expression serious.
“You’re supposed to be upstairs with Eva.” Displeasure clawing through Brand’s chest. “Maybe it’s daylight, but it’s not safe. Not with Rohe around. I’m not taking chances, Joshua.”
Joshua tucked a bag of potato chips under his arm. He thrust his hands into his pockets. “Aren’t you? Because I’d say that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
Foreboding shot through him. “What did you do?”
Joshua gave a long look. “Eva found your Marque on her breast.”
Brand froze, rubbing a hand over his jaw as his body tightened. “Fuck.”
“You didn’t think she would notice a Marque? All she had to do was look down.” Joshua’s voice was caustic. “You didn’t know this might happen when you bit her?”
