An Eager Widow [Highland Menage 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Reece Butler

  Chester looked away, down the path Duff had taken that morning. Her husband was returning. She had to get herself together. Chester whined.

  “Aye,” she admitted. “I’m not good company, not even for myself.” The dog gave her a pleading look, then looked up the path. “Be off with you!”

  Her dog. Her dog, raced away to meet Duff, yapping to wake the dead. She absently scratched her itchy breasts with her forearms. She couldn’t deny it. Her moon time had passed many days ago, and she was never late. Their handfasting would stand. She and Duff had created a babe.

  Kiera rested her palm on her flat belly. The spark of life within was precious. She’d hungered for a child, thinking her love would never be given to a wee one. Duff had given her a future. A real one, not just surviving in her chambers, spinning and weaving.

  She wanted Duff because her father would allow her to have her own home if she married a good man. Duff wanted her for the same reason. Perhaps that was how someone from outside would look at it, but she knew there was more. She’d never laughed with a man as she did with Duff. Nor with her sisters. They’d been too concerned about things that bored her. Now she wished she’d listened. Wished she had one to confide in, to ask how common it was to have a man make her feel so…wonderful and free.

  Duff said he wanted a place to live and a family, but was he just using her for the summer? Had he come upon her and decided to while away the days working, and the nights keeping her very happily awake?

  Would he return? Everything he’d said and did for her, how he spoke and touched her, said so. But things happened, things that could not be controlled. She was sure her father would approve of Duff. He’d wanted her married off for years. Duff was a strong man, a good man. She’d watched him practice with his claymore and a staff he’d cut from the woods. She’d laughed, having to hold onto Chester so he wouldn’t attack the end of Duff’s staff or nip his bare toes. Yet, though Chester was a nuisance never once did Duff show anger to the dog. And it wasn’t because she was watching.

  She’d finally found a good man, one she could love. She now carried his babe. And he had to leave.

  She rested her elbows on her knees, covering her tears with her hands. Those tears were another sign. Other than that one time due to Dougal Chisholm she hadn’t wept once since she’d decided life was better as a lad, when she was maybe five summers old and started wearing her brothers’ old clothes. Lads didn’t cry no matter what, so she didn’t either. No matter how hurt or frightened, she'd gritted her teeth and did what her brothers dared her to do. Her decision to be male, to have the rights and privileges to act for herself and be treated as if she could be responsible for herself, came to naught.

  The last dare, the one that had terrified her, was to walk the edge of the parapet, five stories high. Her brothers said every one of them had done it. Of course, she believed them. She was eleven, her ankles sticking out from Colin’s threadbare breeks. So none would report her she’d done it as the sun was almost down. Her luck had never been good. The laird, riding home late from hunting, had seen her. Roderick and Dugald, the twins who’d dared her, got their father’s belt that night, right in the hall in front of all.

  Kiera would have preferred his belt. Instead, her mother hauled her to her bower and put her in skirts. From then on she’d had to learn to be a lady. She hated being kept indoors like a pampered lapdog. She made no important decisions about herself. They treated her as if her brain had evaporated. Wanting her father’s praise she’d done it all. She’d not complained too much about being caged in skirts that tripped her. She’d learned what was required to be a wife though she knew she’d never be a meek handmaid. She’d kept silent and plotted her escape to her dower lands. As Lady MacKenzie of Kinrowan she would use her brain. When she met Bertie she thought she’d found a way to do so, and had eloped. She’d been wrong.

  This time she prayed all would go well. Unlike Bertie, Duff would act as laird and take part in decisions. She expected to guide him, supporting him in front of others as they’d have discussed it all beforehand. When Duff returned from his promised duty she would tell him who she was and the position he would hold as her husband.

  He was everything she wanted in a man, and in a husband. It was nearly time for him to leave yet he hadn’t said why, or where he was going. She hadn’t asked, afraid he might wish to know more about her in return. They both had secrets, ones they would divulge when he returned.

  She couldn’t let him leave without telling him they may have a babe, but she didn’t have to tell him yet. They still had a few days.

  * * * *

  Duff held Kiera tight to him. Their lovemaking had been fierce. Neither had said a thing about him having to leave in a few days. Was that why she was broody? He’d found his proud woman wiping tears away the last few days. She would rub her breasts as if they were itchy, frowning while doing so. Yet she never turned him away. Every night he’d held her, filled her with his…

  Every night.

  His heart, which had slowed from their lovemaking, pounded. He’d been so busy, enjoying this wonderful time, that he hadn’t thought of it. He’d lain with Kiera every night for two full moons, yet she’d not bled. He knew little of women other than they bled once a moon.

  Unless they were growing a babe.

  “Kiera?”

  Her lax body tensed. “Aye?”

  “Ye’ve not had yer woman’s time.” He gently kissed her forehead. “Could ye be growing our babe?” He spoke softly, hoping she’d smile up at him, eyes bright. Instead, she burst into tears. “I dinna mean to make ye weep, lovey.”

  She cried even harder. All he could do was hold her, rock her, and keep his mouth shut. It took a while for her sobs to slow to hiccups.

  “I willna hold you back,” she whispered as if unable to speak louder.

  “Hold me back from what?” He pulled away to look at her. Tears streaked her red face. She was absolutely beautiful. He kissed her forehead and hugged her again.

  “Dinna fear I will beg you to stay. I ken you must g–go.”

  “Aye, I must be gone for a wee while. Will I find ye here, growin’ our babe, when I return?”

  She avoided his eyes. “I…I canna say if I’ll be here. The summer’s ending and—”

  “And ye must leave the sheiling for yer winter home, aye?” Her forehead rasped against his chest. “Can ye tell me where that home is?”

  “I canna,” she wailed.

  He gave her a moment for her cries to slow. “Hush, lass, ‘tis fine.”

  “Nay, ‘tisn’t fine. I wish to tell you, but…” she shook her head.

  Was it that bad? Who could she be, that she was so frightened of him finding out? He would ask Laird MacKenzie right off when he saw him. And that would no doubt be soon after he rode out of here.

  “What if on my way back I stop at Castle Leod and ask about ye? I’ll say I’m handfasted to Kiera, the widow who spent the summer at a sheiling near…where is this?”

  “Between Raven’s Rock and Creag Ulladail,” she whispered.

  “Would they ken where I might find ye?”

  “Aye.”

  “Then that’s what I’ll do. Dinna fash, lovey. I’ll be back for ye and our babe.”

  She sighed, her muscles relaxing. He felt it wasn’t as much her tension releasing as she was giving in. But to what?

  Chapter Ten

  Heart heavy, Duff rode his well-rested horse into the morning sunrise. He’d helped his wee bride back to bed after she lost what little was in her stomach that morning. She’d done the same the last few mornings. She was carrying his babe, and he had to leave her.

  Damn Laird MacKenzie!

  He’d told Kiera he had to leave at the second full moon, which was tonight. A good night for rieving, with the kine fat from summer grazing. She was to stay inside with the door barred, along with her fool dog. When he saw the laird he would demand someone keep an eye on her. It near killed him to leave them.

&
nbsp; His wee kitten had put out her claws and told him to go, that he couldn’t stay if he’d promised to be elsewhere. That she would wait for him, no matter what. He’d demanded she go to her laird if he was not back before winter. Her eyes had shifted, though she’d agreed. He didn’t press her on this. Things would be different when he returned. Then there would be no secrets between them, or Malcolm.

  God, he’d have to tell her about Malcolm.

  Before he headed off wherever Laird MacKenzie wished to send him he’d demand to learn the parentage of his bride. If he was not satisfied how they would be treated he and Kiera would be off to Duncladach. Malcolm could follow when he’d finished learning whatever the laird could teach him.

  Duff had sensed the men watching him so wasn’t surprised to find the laird waiting. He dismounted, leaving his horse with a guardsman to meet MacKenzie. The laird raised his eyebrows at him.

  “Are ye handfasted to the wee shrew, laddie?”

  “Kiera is not a shrew, Laird MacKenzie,” he said through his teeth. “She is a wonderful, caring woman with wit and passion.”

  MacKenzie raised a bushy eyebrow. “Passion, ye say? Did ye give her a bairn, then?”

  He ignored the question. He would reply when he had a few of his own answers.

  “I have told Kiera I am Duff MacDougal. We have handfasted, and I would ken who she is.”

  “Why should I tell ye?”

  “She is my wife!”

  Duff never yelled except at his brothers. He’d never cared about anyone else. He’d certainly never yelled at a laird, much less a lord. He thought of his wife and babe and stuffed his fury deep.

  “Pardon, Lord Kintail. Ye asked me to take care of Kiera, and I did. I wish to thank ye as I wouldna have met her otherwise. I care deeply for her.”

  MacKenzie nodded for him to continue.

  “I have concerns for her being alone. She has no cattle or sheep. She is living at a sheiling with no peats to keep her warm. I need to ken where we’ll live. If I canna care for her here I will take her back to Duncladach.”

  “I doubt ye’ll see Duncladach again. Ye will go where I send ye, and be glad of it.”

  Duff simmered with anger. He would not lose his temper. MacKenzie would toss him in one of his dungeon pits leaving Kiera and their babe alone. He wanted to be with her, or have Malcolm take care of her. She should not be alone with that silly excuse of a dog.

  “Did ye no read what yer Laird Somerled wrote on that wee parchment ye carried here?”

  “Parchment?” It took Duff a minute to shift gears. Malcolm had carried something in his sporran. Neither of them had looked at it. “Nay. ‘Twas not mine to read.”

  MacKenzie scratched at his beard. Duff wasn’t stupid. He knew the old man was playing him. He just didn’t know why. Who was Kiera to him?

  “Kiera MacKenzie and Malcolm MacDougal have a signed marriage contract. Yer Laird Somerled agreed.”

  Somerled knew, and agreed with, Malcolm marrying a MacKenzie? Okay. That was fine. Duff had handfasted with Kiera and Malcolm would marry her by the priest.

  “That doesna stop us from taking Kiera MacKenzie ban MacDougal back to Duncladach.”

  MacKenzie’s features hardened. “Aye, laddie, it does. And she’ll never use yer clan name.”

  Duff knew that tone of voice. When Somerled used it they all knew not to push him even a fraction of an inch.

  “May I ask why, Laird MacKenzie?”

  “When she marries Malcolm Kiera will move to her dower lands. So will ye, and yer brother.”

  Dower lands? That meant her father was important, perhaps a minor laird. He could handle that. Perhaps Malcolm would get his dream of a peel tower.

  “Kiera has more than a wee croft in the village?”

  The men around him chuckled. A glare from their laird shut them down.

  “Aye, lad, she does. I let her stay at the sheiling for the summer.” He grimaced. “Kiera wasna pleased with my marriage to Silean. ‘Twas best they had a time apart.”

  That would mean Kiera lived at the castle…

  “Who is her father? The marriage contract is between lairds. I would ask permission from her father as well.”

  “Ye have her da’s permission. ‘Tis pleased I am with the both of ye. And that ye care for the lass.”

  A buzzing like a hundred bees filled Duff’s head. He understood the individual words, but the meaning did not make sense. Three statements that, when put together—oh, God! His stomach rebelled. As Kiera could not eat in the morning he didn’t either. It was a good thing.

  * * * *

  “Are ye saying I am handfasted with the daughter of the Lord of Kintail?”

  MacKenzie’s smile was smug. It was true!

  It made sense now, all of it. Kiera had spoken, as if in passing, about men marrying women for their dowries rather than themselves. He’d replied he was pleased that she had a croft, and would give her all he had, though it was not much. If she was MacKenzie’s daughter she might have had many men want her only for what she brought to the marriage. That was why she hadn’t told him. But once she knew how much he cared for her, why did she not speak up?

  The same reason he’d said nothing about her sharing her bed with Malcolm as well.

  “Aye, Kiera’s my wee lassie. ‘Tis pleased I am she is growin’ a babe. ‘Twill settle her.”

  The humor in the laird’s expression suggested he considered this all a joke. Duff believed Kiera had no part in the deception. By now she knew he cared for her as a person. He knew her secret, now he had to tell her about Malcolm. Would she be furious? Would she think he knew all along?

  “Where are my wife’s dower lands?”

  “Ye’ll see them after the weddin’.”

  Okay, he would accept that. He nodded to say he agreed. “I must return to Kiera so she knows I ken her, and tell her about Malcolm.”

  MacKenzie shook his head. “Nay, laddie. I’ll be tellin’ my wee lass about Malcolm. Ye’ll be off to the Black Isle. I wish a report on the harvest.”

  “I canna leave her alone with that yappy beast!”

  “Kiera is my daughter. I will take care of her.”

  Duff drew himself up. “She may be yer daughter, but I am her husband now, and she’s carrying my babe. I will fight ye, and yer men, to protect her.”

  MacKenzie barely flicked an eyebrow at him. “Nay doubt. And ye’d soon be tied to yer horse, belly down.” He leaned closer. “Few ken ye exist, and they willna speak. I will have ye wear a leather mask so none ken ye look like yer brother. As for the other, the daughter of a lord doesna marry by jumping a broom. She will wed Malcolm as her husband.” His eyes drilled into Duff. “If ye wish to see her again, ye will agree.”

  “When she marries Malcolm she will have two husbands.” Duff ground the words out between his teeth.

  “Aye. Cormac and James shared Lady Alana’s bed. ‘Twill be no different with ye and Malcolm.” He slapped Duff on the back, hard. “Dinna fash yerself, laddie. She’ll be watched until I send a messenger to call her home.” He wrinkled his nose. “Is the lass puking her guts out each morn the way Elizabeth did with our bairns? And is she a wee bit dizzy, and have a wee nap late in the day?”

  There was no reason to hide it. The first morning Kiera was in the castle all would know about her belly. He nodded.

  “Good.” MacKenzie gestured and the clearing filled with men. “Ye’re off to the Black Isle, then.”

  “Why there?”

  “When Kiera marries Malcolm ye’ll be off to Kinrowan Tower. The old man who’s been steward will meet ye at Redcastle. I wish a full report.”

  He shook his head, unable to believe it. “I wish to tell Kiera I had no knowledge of this.”

  MacKenzie set his hand on Duff’s shoulder. He used his thumb and finger to pinch, hard. He showed his teeth, but not in a smile.

  “Laddie, ye can wish all ye like. I am Lord of Kintail. This is my plan, and ‘twill go my way. Kiera will marry Malcolm as
all will see she is with child and no father in sight. They’ll nay ken there are two of ye until too late.”

  Duff refused to flinch from the pain. He stared right back.

  “Ye will promise my wife and babe will be well cared for.”

  MacKenzie released him with another slap on the back. “Laddie, I have twelve living children. Kiera’s the last. I ken her well, and care for her. Ye MacDougals will bring her a happiness she canna find without ye. Trust me to do what’s best.”

  It was more than he’d expected, though still not enough. Duff gave a short, respectful bow. There wasn’t anything else he could do.

  “Ye are her laird, her lord, and her father,” said Duff. “She and I have only handfasted, with no witnesses but Chester. When ye give yer blessing and Kiera marries Malcolm he becomes her laird. We will bend a knee to ye as Lord of Kintail, but Kiera willna be yer concern except as a father.”

  “And thank God for that!”

  The MacKenzie men in the clearing laughed with him. Duff kept his fury hidden as well as he could.

  “Will I be allowed to attend the wedding of my wife and my twin brother?”

  “What say ye, Colum?”

  A dark-haired man with the bearing of a leader thought before replying. “Can ye give us ten days?”

  “Six is better. Eight if ye must.”

  They shared nods.

  “Aye, ye’ll be there,” said MacKenzie to Duff. He winked at his men. “‘Twill be a surprise for my wee lass when she canna tell the groom from the best man, aye?”

  More chuckles met the remark. Duff drew himself up as tall as possible. He called on the new sense of control he’d developed. He would not be seen as merely a pawn.

  “The bride will be able to tell that I am the best man.”

  This time they laughed with him.

  Chapter Eleven

  Three days after Duff rode out Kiera got the command to return to Castle Leod. She’d wanted to run after Duff and beg him not to go. She’d wanted many things in her life. She had to trust that he would come back to her.