Then He Was Gone

by Stephen Edger

  ‘He had to. It was kill or be killed.’ He frowned. ‘How much did Adie tell you about what happened over there?’

  ‘He didn’t like to talk about it, and I didn’t like to ask. It was something we didn’t discuss. Why?’

  He opened his hands out to her. ‘Hey, I don’t want to tarnish your memories of him; he was a great guy. But you need to realise that Adie did kill over there, all in legitimate combat. He saved my life on more than one occasion. But that’s how things are. It’s not personal, it’s just about protecting yourself and your unit. Adie understood that. Every day we woke up not knowing if it would be our last. Some of the lads over there kept diaries of their experiences, but not Adie. I don’t think he wanted to be reminded of what he did, what he had to do, to survive.’

  ‘It didn’t work though did it? I mean, he’s still dead.’

  ‘But if he hadn’t put down that fanatic in the vest, I wouldn’t be here now. Anyway, with the fanatic taken care of, we all bundled into the back of the Mastiff to head further into Helmand. As we approached a checkpoint a couple of miles away, we came under heavy fire from the mountains around us. It was a stupid place for a checkpoint: defenceless against the high backdrop. We returned fire, but they started hitting us with RPGs and we couldn’t maintain our position. We radioed for air support, but it didn’t arrive in time. In our desperate attempt to find some cover, the Mastiff drove over an IED and we lost the front of the cabin.’

  Julia stared into the distance. ‘That’s how Adie died. They said the patrol came under attack, but that was all they told me.’

  Owen took a large swig of his drink. ‘I don’t know what happened, but when I came to, my wrists and ankles were chained to a wall. I wondered whether I’d died and was in Hell. The room was so dark that I couldn’t see shit, and the smell…I’ve never known anything like it. It was putrid, like rotting flesh. I could gag just remembering it.’ He pinched his nose to emphasise. ‘I don’t know how long I was out for, but I remember I was trapped in that place for at least three hours before someone opened a door into the windowless room. When the guy saw that I was awake, he called for support, and these three others entered with their faces covered, pointing machine guns at me. It was then that I realised I hadn’t died in the explosion. I’d been captured by whoever had attacked the checkpoint. They started shouting at me in a language I didn’t understand. I mean, the army teach you a few useful phrases and words, but I didn’t recognise anything they were shouting. I shouted back that I was British and couldn’t understand them, but they didn’t seem to care. I was sure they were going to kill me there and then. But instead they unchained me and dragged to a different room. This one had a bright light hanging from the ceiling. They forced me into a chair, and secured me to this small table with ropes. My arms and legs ached so much from being chained to that wall. I just slumped on the table. I didn’t even put up a fight. They slapped me across the face, punched my abdomen, spat on my head. They were some seriously fucked-up bastards. Oh, sorry.’

  ‘You don’t need to filter your language for us. I lived with Adie remember. He could swear as well as anyone, especially when watching football on the telly.’

  ‘Eventually this new guy entered. His face wasn’t covered and he had a long dark grey beard. I knew instantly he was the bloke in charge from the way he carried himself, and how the others seemed scared of him. I was barely conscious, but he sat across the table from me, and I was surprised when he spoke in English. His accent was local, but he spoke pretty well for a native. He told me that he had spared my life so that I could serve a greater purpose. I didn’t know what he was babbling on about. He told two of the armed men to stay, and cleared the rest out. He sent for a bowl of water, which was placed in front of me. He told me to drink from it. I didn’t know whether it was poisoned or not, but I was so dehydrated, I did as he said. It was warm, but better than nothing. He asked me where I was from. The Geneva Convention required me to give him my name, rank and serial number, although I doubted they’d ever heard of the military code of conduct. I figured that if I was to be held as a POW, I would stick to the rules. He’d shown some compassion with the offer of water, so I tried to ignore the nagging doubt in my head.’

  ‘What doubt?’

  ‘That his intentions towards me were unsavoury. He didn’t say much else, just made a note of my name on some paper and left. The two armed men untied me and dragged me to a different room. This was more like a cell: there was a metal bed with a thin mattress. They locked me in and threw a couple of apples in, presumably for dinner. I found a bucket in the corner, which was swarming with flies. It hadn’t been emptied, so I knew what to do when I needed to go.’

  Becky screwed up her nose. ‘It sounds horrific.’

  ‘It was, and if I’d been on my own, I probably would have given up.’

  ‘There were other prisoners there too?’

  He nodded. ‘I wasn’t the only soldier they’d kept chained to that wall. I didn’t find out until two days later, but they’d dragged another soldier from the wreckage of the Mastiff. Adie didn’t die in the explosion.’

  TWENTY-NINE

  Julia banged her hands on the table. ‘What do you mean Adie didn’t die in the explosion? The army said -’

  Owen tried to calm her by raising and lowering his hands. ‘They lied. I told you: they didn’t know what happened. When they recovered the wreckage of the Mastiff, there was little left. An odd arm, a foot still in a boot. It would have been near impossible to identify who was who.’

  ‘What about DNA? Adie told me he had to supply a blood sample when he joined up.’

  ‘You can only take a DNA sample if there’s something to take it from. You don’t seem to understand. What the RPG hadn’t destroyed, the militants had doused in accelerant and the Mastiff blazed like a fourth of July bonfire. They knew there had been ten of us in the vehicle. Mine and Adie’s insignia were left behind. When we didn’t turn up injured somewhere, it was only natural for them to fear the worst. The vehicle should have been able to withstand heavy artillery but they bombed the shit out of it. I’m amazed that the search party managed to recover anything.’

  Julia was panting heavily. ‘I can’t believe Adie survived the attack. All this time I thought he was dead -’

  ‘I’m sorry, Julia, Adie is dead. The army were right about that. He may have survived the attack, but he still died over there. I hate to be the one to tell you, but I saw him die with my own eyes. I wish to God I had something better I could tell you.’

  Julia wiped a tear from her cheek. ‘How did he die?’

  ‘First, you need to understand why he died. The day after he was thrown in the cell with me, we were both dragged back to the room with the table. They played us a recording of an item from Al Jazeera news. It was confirmation that our group had been killed by extremists in the Helmand. There were pictures of each of us that the army had provided to media outlets. We knew at that point that the world thought we were dead. It was another clue to what they intended to use us for: propaganda. There was a large flag hanging from the wall behind the television set they’d wheeled in. I’d seen enough on the internet to understand what the room was going to be used for. I didn’t say anything to Adie, as I didn’t want to worry him, but he figured it out for himself anyway.’

  Becky frowned. ‘I don’t follow.’

  ‘They were a small band of Taliban extremists. They wanted to send a message to the world. They had captured two western invaders, and now that the world had been told we were dead, they planned to very publicly show the world that NATO had lied about us.’

  ‘I don’t…’ her words trailed off, as she realised what he was getting at. ‘They planned to execute you?’

  ‘That’s what we figured, and neither of us wanted to go out like that. When you sign up to fight in a war, you know that there’s a risk that you’ll die for what you believe in, and you kind of accept that risk. But being beheaded live on the internet to help
some crazed bunch of religious zealots make a point, was not what we’d signed up for.’

  Owen removed his anorak. Both arms were covered in tattoos, all the way up to the sleeves of his t-shirt. Becky also noticed several long scars down both his forearms.

  He saw her looking at the scars. ‘It was how they ensured compliance. They would tie our hands to that table and use a device called the discipline on us. It was a whip made of multiple knotted cords, only they tied pieces of broken glass in the knots. They would whip our arms until we were bloody and obedient.’

  Becky frowned. ‘Jesus!’

  ‘We prayed to him a lot, but it seemed like he wasn’t listening. We quickly learned to behave ourselves.’

  ‘What were you doing that was so wrong?’

  ‘It wasn’t that we were doing anything wrong. We chanced our luck. I’ll give you an example: when they eventually came in to swap my bucket for a less-dirty one, I tried to get the guard to smuggle a message out. He’d seemed alright. He was the only masked guard who appeared to speak English, so I offered him money to tell someone that we were still alive and where we were. I didn’t have any money on me, but I told him I could get him loads on the outside. I told him the army would pay him for information about me and Adie. We thought he was on our side, but that night other guards came for us both when we were asleep, and that’s when we were first lashed. The scars aren’t just on my arms.’

  Becky grimaced. ‘Did they tell you what they’d planned? How they were going to execute you, I mean.’

  Owen smiled at them both. Becky hadn’t realised how handsome he was; in a rugged kind of way. It was clear he took care of himself, and the tattoos gave him an edge. She couldn’t stop herself smiling back. Julia remained quiet.

  ‘Not in so many words. In fairness, they treated us well, most of the time. The food wasn’t anything to write home about, but they gave us fruit and vegetables twice a day, as well as an amount of water. It wasn’t the Hilton, but I’ve heard of worse places.’

  ‘Did you see much of each other?’

  ‘Mine and Adie’s cells were next to each other. There was a vent in the floor, and all the vents were connected. If we were careful, me and Adie could whisper to one another. We couldn’t talk for long, and we could only do it when we knew the guards were patrolling away from our doors, but we managed to chat. Anyway, we discovered that we weren’t the only prisoners being held. There must have been at least half a dozen more cells not far away. We would hear screams in the dead of night, when we knew we were both locked up.’

  Becky winced. ‘It must have been horrible. How long were you there for?’

  ‘We started to count days by the guards’ clothing. Most of the time it wasn’t easy to tell which guard was which. They didn’t generally speak, and their faces were covered whenever they came into our cells, but we started to notice little differences. It’s hard to explain.’ He finished his coffee. ‘I already mentioned the guard who spoke English. We could recognise him easily. He would always speak to us in English. He wouldn’t say a lot, but he seemed to think we would comply quicker if he said please and thank you. Then there was Fatty. I nicknamed him that. He wasn’t massively overweight, but he definitely carried more of a paunch than the rest. There was one who reeked of garlic; like it was weeping out of his pores or something.’ He smiled again. ‘Anyway, we developed nicknames for as many as we could, and we counted days based on changes of clothes, in particular the scarves they wore over their faces. When we noticed that one of them had changed their scarf, we counted that as a day. They didn’t all change their scarves every day, so we had to watch carefully. But more often than not, at least one of the guards we could identify was wearing something different. I would conservatively estimate we were in their custody for at least three weeks, maybe slightly more. The length of my facial hair at the time would back up that claim.’

  Becky couldn’t imagine him with a beard. He didn’t seem the type who could grow one. Even his stubble now was patchy. ‘Did they let you wash?’

  ‘The shit bucket was the height of the plumbing in the cell. Every couple of days they would drag us from the cell to this tiny courtyard, where they would strip and hose us down. Then they would give us fresh thaubs. It was a white all-in-one robe thing with long sleeves. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but we were in it morning, noon, and night, until they gave us a fresh one.’

  ‘How did you manage to escape?’

  ‘This one day, the guards were acting differently. Their patrols were more erratic and they were spending less time watching us. Nobody changed the shit bucket, and they only brought breakfast when we asked for it. We didn’t see the English-speaking guard all day. We knew something was up, and the only conclusion we could draw was that this was the night they were going to do it. The video camera was set up: they were ready to deliver their message to the world.’

  THIRTY

  Becky stared down at her phone. Caleb still hadn’t called. That was so unlike him. They’d argued before, but he’d always been the one to lead the truce. Was this argument any different? He didn’t think she should be supporting Julia in France, and she thought she should. It was more a difference of opinion than a full-blown quarrel. Why was he being so childish? He was always so level-headed, and this enforced silence was not like him. It felt like he was testing her; trying to see if she was brave enough to apologise first.

  Owen returned to the table with a second tray of drinks. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I ordered some sandwiches for the table too. My treat. I haven’t eaten a thing all morning, and it’s practically lunchtime. I hope that’s okay?’

  Becky put her phone away. ‘Thank you. That’s very kind.’

  Julia was staring off into the distance. Owen’s revelation that Adie hadn’t died in the explosion as she’d been told was just another bump in an already tumultuous week.

  ‘Where was I? Oh yeah, the night of the execution. They didn’t bring us any dinner, and there was no guards around to ask as evening arrived. Adie wasn’t talking. I tried to keep his spirits up, but he refused to open up. I guess he was probably thinking about you, Julia, and Noah. Finally we heard the guards approaching. Three of them burst through the cell door, with two grabbing my arms and the third putting a hood over my face. I tried to kick free, but they were too strong. They beat me into submission and then dragged me to the room with the flag. They forced us to sit on the floor, and tied our wrists behind our backs with rope. There were four of us in the room. I knew Adie was next to me because I could hear him whispering prayers. I didn’t know who the other two were, but presumed they were other soldiers who had been captured. The hood over my face was pretty thick, but I could make out bright light in the room, and the bearded leader preaching in whatever language he spoke. I remember thinking that I had to stay brave. If this video was going to be posted online, I didn’t want my wife to see me break. I didn’t want the lasting memory of me to be someone in tears pissing his pants.’

  Becky lit a cigarette, certain she didn’t want to hear the next part of the story, but captivated nonetheless.

  ‘They suddenly ripped the hoods from our heads. The table was gone, replaced by what looked like a small brick wall, as tall as the table had been. It was the chopping board they planned to use. There were five guards in the room. My mind was racing too quickly to be able to identify who was who. One of the guards in the corner was pointing a machete at the floor. He was dressed head to toe in black, like the grim reaper. The video camera was pointed at our faces individually and the leader stated our names and backgrounds. Mine was the third name to be called, and Adie’s the fourth. They yanked up the first in the queue, and dragged him over to the small brick pew in the middle of the room. He was sobbing. He looked like a local man, so I didn’t know why they’d decided to execute him as well. I figured they must have had their reasons. They forced him to his knees and pressed his head down on the wall. He tried to struggle, but his wrists were bound too tight, and
he was being held in place by two of the masked guards. The leader shouted something else at the camera and called over the guard with the machete.’

  He looked away. ‘I can still see the look in the guy’s eyes as the blade struck his neck. It all moved so slowly, but I am sure there was a moment of peace, right before his head rolled onto the floor. That was the moment Adie lost it. He began screaming, and shouting. It was like something out of a horror movie. They forced a gag into his mouth to keep him quiet, and then yanked up the bloke next to me. He must have been nearly seven foot tall, and built like a brick shithouse. What I didn’t know then was that he was part of a faction in the province that was against the Taliban. They called themselves the Black Shadows, but had been collaborating with NATO forces to disrupt Taliban efforts. They had captured him trying to bomb one of their hideouts. His execution was a bigger deal than our own. He didn’t show any sign of panic. He was stoic like a Buddhist monk. He didn’t even struggle when they forced him to his knees. He was so tall that they had to properly bend him so that his neck would rest on the slab. Still he didn’t struggle. He looked straight at me, and I could see he was trying to mouth something, but I couldn’t work out what. What happened next was a blur. The giant suddenly roared, and one of the armed guards at the edge of the room turned and opened fire on the other three. The giant leapt to his feet and shoulder barged the guard with the machete, knocking him to the floor before stamping on his head in bare feet. I mean his feet must have been at least a size fourteen from what I could see. Me and Adie just sat there gawping, with no idea what had happened or why. The leader tried to leave but the giant broke the ropes holding his wrists and pulled him back into the room. He forced the leader to his knees, and pushed his head onto the slab. He said something into the camera, and then beheaded him. I guess the Black Shadows had their own message to deliver.’