Resurrecting Gavin (A Dismantling Evan Companion Novelette)

by Venessa Kimball

  He hugs me and asks, “What did I miss? It must be good because all of you are smiling!”

  Brody’s comment makes me smile even more as Mom tells Brody everything.

  “That is fantastic, bro!” he says.

  I can tell he is surprised, but he is also overjoyed and that makes up for him being surprised.

  “So when is he coming home?” Brody’s question seems to stop the happiness in the room suddenly.

  The silence is scary until Dr. Larson says, “Before we get to that. I have some other good news.”

  Other good news.

  That must mean that the first good news is when I am going home!

  She looks at me as she says, “Gavin, you have done so much to heal yourself. You have done it on your own. You have worked hard and I know you will keep making great efforts for your wellness in the future. I know you miss your friends, so I am granting them permission to visit you for the remainder of your time here at Pembroke.”

  “YES, THANK YOU!” I holler.

  Mom and Dr. Larson laugh, while Brody chuckles and hushes me.

  “This is the best Mother’s Day present!” Mom says, excitedly.

  Mother’s Day? I feel terrible! I didn’t know it was Mother’s Day.

  I start to tell her, “Momma, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know...”

  “Sweetheart, finding out you are healing is a perfect gift! A blessing!” she says before she gives me another hug.

  Once Mom lets go of me, I ask Dr. Larson, “When can my friends visit? Today?”

  Dr. Larson looks at Brody, then back at me, and says, “Wish granted.”

  I don’t understand what she means so I look at Brody for an answer.

  “They are here, buddy! Waiting in the courtyard to see you. That is why I was late getting here.”

  I jump up from my chair and head for the door, but before I can open it, Dr. Larson stops me. “Don’t you want to hear the rest Gavin?”

  That’s right, other good news.

  I let go of the handle, quickly walk back to my chair between Brody and Mom and sit. I don’t think I can sit any straighter in a chair than the way I am sitting right now as Dr. Larson flips her calendar.

  What is she looking for?

  The stalling was torturous. “What is it?”

  She points to a dated square on her calendar. I can’t see it from here.

  “What? What?” I chuckle and ask anxiously

  She looks up at me. “June 15 is your birthday.”

  DUH, I KNEW THAT!

  “Yes, it is. So?”

  Mom nudges me. “Manners Gavin.”

  “Sorry.”

  Dr. Larson ignores us and says, playfully, “So, that is when you will be going home, Gavin.”

  I stare at her, repeating her words in my head.

  Mom puts her arms around me and rests her head on my arm. She is laughing and crying at the same time, which is strange, but I don’t tell her that. Brody hugs me sideways and I feel his body tremble as he holds me. Still stunned, I ask Dr. Larson, “I’m going home on my birthday?”

  She smiles and nods. “Yes, you are.”

  Evan, Lia, Nikki, and Asher are sitting at a table in the courtyard, talking. They don’t realize Brody, Mom and I are walking up behind them.

  “Hey!” I holler.

  They all turn at once. Asher hollers back and the girls let out squeals as they rush toward me. They hug me and ask me a ton of questions. I don’t speak, not because I can’t but I don’t want to. I just want to listen to them and remember this moment.

  May 13

  I just found out that am going home on my birthday! June 15! So that means I have 33 more days until I go home! And, my friends can visit me again! All of them came to see me today! I haven’t seen Nikki and Asher in so long, I almost didn’t recognize them. May 13 is officially the best day ever!

  GF

  May 16

  Dreams. Dr. Larson wanted to talk about them today. I told her I don’t dream. She seemed stumped, so I explained that I didn’t think I did. I told her I didn’t remember them the next morning. She laughed and said she wasn't talking about those dreams. She said she was talking about things I look forward to achieving, goals.

  I hadn’t really thought about goals, other than working to heal myself and go home. I told her that my dream was coming true, I was going home on my birthday. She nodded and said that I needed to make a new goal now.

  If I was to remember my dreams, the kind you have at night, they would be about Lia.

  GF

  May 18

  It has been a while since I have thought about Andy. I have been so busy I feel like I have forgotten him. It makes me sad. I told Dr. Larson and she said it was okay to miss him. He was a huge turning point in my healing.

  Last night, before I went to bed, I pretended he was there with me again. I told him that I would never forget him and how he helped me.

  GF

  May 20

  I sat with Henry the Rocker today. Mr. Hank needed to check on Iris the Head-banger. She was hitting her head on the window sill near the hand washing station.

  A strange thing happened.

  When I sat down next to Henry he stopped rocking. As soon as I moved away from him, he started again. I moved back closer, and he stopped. I showed Mr. Hank once he came back. He said he guessed that Henry just needed human contact to feel safe. It made me feel special that I was that human for him. I was kind of like a hero for him at a time he needed it, just like Brody was for me.

  I miss my brother. I miss our porch talks.

  26 more days until I go home.

  GF

  May 24

  There have been lots of visits lately. Mom visited yesterday, Brody came today, and Evan came two days ago with the prints of Nurse Cindy, Mr. Garret, Mr Hank, and the Dove of Peace (or dove in flight). Evan said that I was really advancing in my craft. She said she couldn’t wait to go on photo shoots with me again. She thought that we might do a field trip to the University of Texas at Austin campus once I am home. She said she was hoping to go to school there someday. I told her that I would love to go to the campus with her. I mentioned Brody, and that, maybe, he could go to school there someday too. She got quiet for a moment. I asked her if Brody was treating her okay. She seemed worried, but said that everything was fine. She said I didn’t need to be thinking about anything other than healing and getting home to them. I told her the countdown, 22 more days. She hugged me and said that she couldn’t wait.

  Lia visited, two days ago. She said she'd started her summer job. She was working at a clothing store in the mall. She said she liked it and it did pass the time, but it didn’t keep her from thinking about me. I didn’t think I heard her right so I asked her to repeat herself. She giggled and her cheeks started to turn red. I think mine did too. She said it again, but differently. She looked into my eyes, smiled softly and said she couldn’t stop thinking about me. She giggled then quickly covered her mouth. She was hiding her smile, like she always used to and I wanted to see the smile that made everything better in the world. I pulled her hand away, slowly. She tilted her head to hide, but I caught her cheek with my other hand, keeping her still.

  It happened so quickly. One moment I was touching her cheek, the next her warm, soft lips were touching mine. They weren’t sticky at all. No words can describe how it felt. I don’t really remember much after that.

  I hope I dream about Lia tonight.

  GF

  May 25

  My dream was about Lia. It was her birthday and I was kissing her... a lot. I will keep the rest of it to myself. But, it makes me wonder whose birthdays I have missed since being here. I remember Lia’s birthday is in the summer, but don’t remember the date. I know Nikki’s and Asher’s are in winter. Evan’s... I don’t know hers at all. I need to ask Brody when I see him.

  GF

  May 28

  Brody told me everyone’s birthdays, including Mom’s and his so I could write it
on the calendar I have hanging on my wall. Lia’s birthday was after mine, June 28, so I had a little while to think of something to get her. Maybe Brody could take me shopping when I got home.

  When I asked about Evan’s birthday, he said that is was two weeks ago. I couldn’t believe I missed it and I told him that I felt really bad.

  I asked what he got for her. He seemed to be thinking about something else and not listening so I asked him again. When he told me he didn’t get her anything I yelled at him, asked him what he was thinking. How could he not get the girl he loved something on her birthday! He got really mad and told me I didn’t understand and to back off. I told him that I seemed to understand love better than he did and he should have given her a gift.

  He didn’t argue with me, but he didn’t tell me why he didn’t get her a gift either. He did say that I was a better man than him and that she deserved someone that wasn’t so fucked up.

  It made me sad that he felt like that, just like I felt not long ago. I put my hand on his shoulder and asked him to tell me what happened. This time, he did tell me something. He said that he'd been an asshole and he didn’t know why. He just felt lost and he didn’t want to bring Evan or anyone else down with him.

  I didn’t tell him, but I think he's depressed. I mean, that is how Dr. Larson explained it to me when I first got to Pembroke.

  Before he left, I told Brody he should think hard about talking to Dr. Larson. He pulled the mini note-pad from his back pocket, held it up and said that he was still writing in his journal.

  I prayed that night that he worked things out with Evan. He needed her just as much as she needed him. I could see it, but I don’t think they could.

  GF

  June 8

  Today I am returning the copy of Hamlet to the Pembroke library. I am going home in 8 DAYS! I feel kind of sad that I am leaving Pembroke. It isn’t the place I will miss, it is the people; MK, Sam, Nurse Cindy, Mr. Hank, Mr. Garret, Henry the Rocker. I guess returning the copy of Hamlet is the first of many goodbyes to come.

  GF

  June 10

  I sat with Henry the Rocker today. He stopped rocking as soon as I sat down.

  I hope he will find someone else to stop his rocking when I am gone.

  Mr. Hank said he would watch out for him. Anyway, I told Henry that I knew he couldn’t talk, but he could listen and I wanted to tell him that I would miss him. I told him I was happy to have met him even under the circumstances. I hoped for a miracle; that he would say something back, like it was nice to have met me too. Today wasn’t the day for miracles though.

  5 more days until home.

  GF

  June 13

  2 more days.

  I expected the knock on my door this morning to be Nurse Cindy, but it was MK and Sam. They said they were sent to come get me. Each of them took me by the arm and walked with me down the hall. I kept asking them where we were going and who sent for me, but they kept giving me ridiculous answers like we were going to Wonderland and that Henry the Rocker finally spoke and said he didn’t want me to ever leave Pembroke. Sam laughed and MK giggled so I knew they were just making jokes. We stopped at the cafeteria door and both Sam and MK turned to face me. I knew it probably wasn’t the best time, but I asked Sam where he'd been lately, since he hadn’t been at lunch or dinner.

  He said that big brother had found him out and he had to eat lunch and dinner at the nurses' station.

  I didn’t know his big brother was in here too.

  Sam said that he wasn’t sure I could handle what was behind the door, but that I should try to look.

  When I opened the door, Dr. Larson, Nurse Cindy, Mr. Hank, everyone on the staff and every single patient at the center filled the cafeteria. Everyone was so quiet (because of Henry, Iris, and the new boy).

  A banner was taped above the windows; it said:“We will miss you Gavin! Go home!”

  We had cake and ice cream to celebrate and I made sure MK ate hers.

  GF

  June 14

  Today I finished my project with Mr. Garret. He said that it was a true work of art. I thanked him for showing me how to rise above the chaos. He gave me a high five and told me that he never wanted to see me in here again. He smiled then hugged me so I knew he was saying it out of love. I gave him his portrait and the photo of his dove of peace sculpture. He looked at it and shook his head. I asked if he didn’t like it. He said that he had never seen anything more beautiful.

  The project fits perfectly in my suitcase. Mr. Hank and Nurse Cindy helped me pack my things. She said she would give all of my medicines to my mom after tomorrow morning's dose. I thanked them both for watching out for me and gave them the portraits I took of each of them. Nurse Cindy actually cried. Mr. Hank had to hug her to calm her down. In the end we all hugged. I think the hugging was getting easier for me, especially with people I really cared about.

  GF

  June 15

  This is my last entry at Pembroke Psychiatric Center, it is my birthday, and I am finally going home.

  GF

  June 15

  The sun shines through the small window, caged with bars. I lie there for a little while, just listening to the sound of the birds singing on the other side of it.

  Today is the day.

  “Happy Birthday Gavin!” Mr. Hank announces as I open my door. He has my morning medicine along with a small cup of water.

  “Thank you Mr. Hank,” I say before taking my pills and drinking the water.

  “Son, you look like you grew at least a half an inch last night. Sixteen, right?” Mr. Hank asks.

  “Yes sir.”

  “Boy, I think your voice got deeper too,” says Mr. Garret as he pats me on the shoulder.

  I know they are joking with me, so I smile.

  Nurse Cindy is standing near her station, wiping her eyes with a tissue. She's been crying again. The new nurse tries to comfort her, but Nurse Cindy breathes in deeply and says, “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

  She looks at me and smiles. “I will miss you, boy.”

  I feel that strange feeling in my throat again. The feeling that I get when I’m about to cry.

  “I will miss you too,” I say quickly and hope it will take the feeling away.

  I swallow the best I can and reach for my suitcase; Mr. Hank takes hold of it instead.

  “I’ve got it buddy. Just follow me. They're waiting for you in the lobby.”

  I follow him closely, down the empty hallways.

  Mr. Hank swipes a card along a box on the wall and the two metal doors in front of us open wide.

  Mom and Brody rise up from their chairs. The lobby looks so bright with windows everywhere. No bars caging the glass, just windows. There are even windows on the ceiling. Mom and Brody hug me at the same time.

  “Happy Birthday, sweetheart!” Mom sobs as she wraps her arms around me tighter. Brody puts his long arms around both of us.

  “Love you, Gav,” he says as he kisses the top of my head.

  Mom slowly releases me and Brody takes my suitcase from Mr Hank. They shake hands and Brody thanks him for taking such good care of me.

  “Oh, no thanks needed. He took care of himself just fine on his own. Your brother, he is an extraordinary young man Brody,” Mr. Hank says as he smiles at me.

  Brody looks down at me and says, “Yeah, he sure is.”

  Dr. Larson watches us quietly with her arms crossed. I don’t want to seem rude or impatient, but I really want to go home.

  “So, is that it? Can I go home now?”

  She comes closer. “Yes, that is it. You will be seeing me weekly for a while, but it will be at my normal office. You aren’t getting rid of me that quick.”

  Mom and Brody laugh, so I smile guessing the “getting rid of me” thing is just a joke.

  Brody turns to Mom and me. “You ready?”

  I nod without hesitation and start walking along side of them.

  “Before you go, I have something to tell you
, Gavin,” says Dr. Larson. We all look back at her and Mr. Hank as she says,“Happy Birthday, Gavin Ferguson. You said you would go home before your birthday and you did. You can do whatever you put your mind to. Remember that.”

  I bow my head and say with determination, “I will.”

  In the warm air of summer, as I leave the center with Brody and Mom by my side, I feel like I have risen from chaos and I am finding peace, just like Mr. Garret’s dove in flight.

  I’m going home.

  The Evan series will continue with the full-length New Adult novel,

  “Inventing Evan”,

  due to release November 17, 2015.

  Acknowledgments

  I have said this a million times, and I will say it a million more; It takes a village to produce a novel as well as any work of fiction. The village I have been blessed with has helped bring this novel from imagination to realization. It could not have been accomplished with the energy of so many behind the scenes.

  My publishing house, Crushing Hearts and Black Butterfly. Thank you for opening your minds, hearts, and arms to the Evan series. Dawn Miller; thank you for being an extraordinary friend first and a meticulous critique partner second (it is a good thing, really). Your critiques, opinions, and nudges to push the characters made Evan’s story more compelling than I originally imagined it being. My troupe of beta readers; Dahlings, your eyes were the first to see the raw and unedited version of Dismantling Evan and that initial read through from you was priceless. Thank you for your candid feedback and dedication to the spirit of the written word. The Venessa Kimball Fan Club; thank you for embracing and spreading the word about Dismantling Evan and the Evan series. I am truly blessed to have fans as great as you are! Austin Digital Darling gals; Love you and thank you for the inspiration and motivation you infuse into the atmosphere every month at our gatherings. I owe you a cheese tray. To the bloggers and community of readers that have put energy and time into posting and spreading the word about the Evan series. You have been the life line for this series as it makes its way into the sea of novels and novelettes. I have the utmost respect and appreciation for all that you do to spread the word for authors world wide.