Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need (Nashville Nights #2-3)

by Stacey Mosteller

  Other Books by Stacey Mosteller

  Save Me From Myself (Nashville Nights #1) - Available Now!

  Lyric Hayes spent the first 22 years of her life trying to be the perfect daughter and the perfect girlfriend. After a tragedy and her fiancé's betrayal, she's running. Starting over far away from the person she used to be.

  She's made herself a vow - no relationships. She's trying to heal, not complicate her life further.

  David Pearson has it all. Confidence, awesome friends, successful business. But, David's dealt with loss too. He knows better than anyone not to judge by what's on the surface.

  Drawn to Lyric despite her inability to trust, he'll do anything to own her heart.

  Will secrets and misunderstandings send Lyric running again? Or will David finally save her from herself?

  Never Wanted More (Nashville Nights #0.5) - Available Now

  Peyton Williams is spoiled, entitled and a little too stuck up. The daughter of an influential Mayor and a socialite mother, she's trying to get through college and make her own path. She's perfectly happy being a loner until Spring semester when she gets not only a roommate, but a math tutor.

  Wyatt Parker is the boy from the wrong side of town. Known as the son of the town tramp, he jumps at the scholarship to play basketball in Nashville where no one knows his roots. Spending this semester tutoring a friend's snobby roommate wasn't what he envisioned, but Peyton quickly gets under his skin.

  Peyton never wanted more until she met Wyatt, but is she willing to be what he needs?

  Everything I Shouldn't (Nashville Nights #2) - Available Now!

  It's been eight days, sixteen hours and forty-seven minutes since life as I know it ended. I know, it sounds so melodramatic and teen-soap worthy, but it's the truth. Eight days, sixteen hours and forty-seven minutes since David found out. Since he kicked Jeremy out, ended their friendship and told me I could never see him again.

  I didn't plan on David getting suspicious, and I definitely didn't plan on getting caught. My selfishness has cost Jeremy everything, my brother won't even look at me, Lyric must hate me for practically blackmailing her to keep silent and my best friend is barely speaking to me.

  Now my life is full of secrets and lies. The people around me have been affected by the choices I've made and the lies I've told. But what will they do when they discover the biggest secret of them all?

  Jeremy is everything I shouldn't want, and the person I can't live without.

  Find out what happens after Save Me From Myself in Everything I Shouldn't!

  Second Chances - cowritten with H.M. Ward - Available Now!

  New York Times Bestselling Authors H.M. Ward and Stacey Mosteller

  Sex. Betrayal. Forbidden Love. Lawn Boy.

  I'm not a catch, I'm not even certain I'm what they'd call 'mentally stable,' not anymore. Too much has happened too fast and it ripped my soul in half. I'm alone, with a plastic stick in my hand that says the one word we'd been so eager to see.

  Pregnant.

  Lucky in love once is a miracle, but I lost him, and this baby is all I have left. My life turned to ash in a blink and there's nothing I can do about it.

  Years pass and I'm still here, but it doesn't feel like it, not until the lawn guy, Daniel Clement, checks me out. Me. A yoga-panting, pony tailing, frumpy-butt, frizzy mommy who's covered in whatever the baby tossed on me at lunch.

  Daniel's dark eyes linger too long, as if he likes what he sees. I'm shocked and flattered, but he's too young. The age gap between us is over a decade, but that doesn't stop him. If I sleep with him everyone will think I've lost my mind. Maybe I have, because everyday that I see Daniel's sexy, toned body glistening in the sunlight, I consider feeling him pressed against me, naked. The few times his fingers grazed my skin were heaven, but once the clothes come off--he's a god and I'm... me.

  I've been alone for so long. Surely one kiss won't hurt anything, one taste of his mouth should be harmless. Things don't have to go that far, but I'm wrong.

  Love only comes around once in a lifetime. Only fools think otherwise, and I'm the biggest fool of them all.

  My betas - Bianca J, Bianca S, Mel, Crystal, Sary & Annie

  SB & Jeremy's story couldn't have been told without you

  Thank you for the friendship, the feedback, the late night chats, and occasionally having to talk me down off the cliff

  I love you all!

  SarahBeth

  I've been in love with my brother's best friend, Jeremy, for as long as I can remember. Just saying the words aloud causes my heart to clench. I've never admitted it to anyone other than Olivia, but I knew she'd never tell a soul. She encouraged it actually, went out of her way to help me find sexy outfits to wear around him and helped me come up with some crazy plan to make him notice me. Those usually ended with him scolding me so they probably weren't the best way to get his attention.

  I'm not really sure when my feelings for him started changing. First, my love for Jeremy was the love any child has for her hero. My dad was always busy, and while my brother David loved me, Jeremy was the one who kissed my knee when I fell off my bike, the one who taught me how to climb a tree, all the things my brother - who even as a teenager was over-protective of me - didn't want me to do. He never grouched about having to watch me like David did, he was always willing to play games with me and include me in whatever he and my brother were doing.

  I was heartbroken when David and Jeremy went away to college because all of a sudden I was alone. I spent so much of my time chasing after them when I was little so when they left I felt a little lost. They both kept in touch after they left for school, at least at first. The phone call came every few days for months, but gradually became only once a month or less, especially after David came back for Christmas and argued with our dad. After that, the only time David would call was when he knew Dad was gone.

  Then, when our parents died and everything fell apart; Jeremy was there to comfort me, to hug me, to dry my tears. That doesn't mean that my brother wasn't there, because he was. He was just stuck being the grown-up. David had to deal with funeral arrangements, lawyers, wills, the court and our grandparents.

  Once Jeremy and David moved back home, David became more of a parent than a brother, and Jeremy made every attempt to fill that role. Unfortunately, my feelings for Jeremy were never that simple. The fact that he became as over-protective as my brother did nothing to discourage my growing infatuation with him. Up until recently though, Jeremy never gave any indication that he saw me as anything other than David's little sister.

  I've been chasing after Jeremy since about a month after my brother moved back and brought him with him. We spent a lot of time together because he was trying to distract me from the life I was thrust into, taking me to the movies, hanging out, helping with homework... all the stuff that brothers do with little sisters. It didn't take long for hero worship to turn romantic. But looking back, it's clear I wasn't the only one with a secret. At the time, I thought that the reason my brother didn't react the same way Jeremy did when I started dating was because he was so preoccupied with getting his business off the ground and raising me. Now, I can see that the reason Jeremy always did his best to scare away any guy I brought around was because he was jealous.

  I imagined that convincing Jeremy to give me a chance, to really look at me like a woman, one who wasn't his closest friend's baby sister was almost impossible. But just when I thought I should give up, he kissed me. We continued our relationship in secret becaus
e I was afraid of what David would say and how he would react. It didn't take much to convince him to keep it a secret, even though I know it bothered him to not be able to tell him.

  I finally got everything I wanted, but I fucked it up royally. I lied to my brother, my best friend, even Jeremy. I was so concerned with what I wanted that I didn't give anyone else a thought. Jeremy wanted me and maybe even fell in love with me, but now, everything I had, all the people who loved me; none of them are here. It's all so completely screwed up, and I have no idea where to start fixing anything.

  I have so much to make up for. I'm the hateful bitch who destroyed a friendship, told lies and kept secrets. I have no idea how to even begin to make things right, but I know I have to try. First, I guess I should start at the beginning, back before everything went to shit.

  Jeremy

  I fucking knew this thing with her would blow up in our faces. I should have known better, but instead, I went for it. It's always been SarahBeth for me, always. And not in a dirty old man way, don't call Chris Hansen and To Catch A Predator because it's not like that. When it started, I was jealous of David. He had a dad and a mom, which was already something I didn't have, and then came SarahBeth. She was this tiny little thing with big eyes and curly blonde hair, I swear to God; she looked like an angel the first time David showed her to me. He was disgusted and pissed because she was crying all the time and taking all the attention. Meanwhile, I would have given anything to have the life he had.

  As she got older, she worshipped her brother, and me by association. Following us around, trying to imitate us and running after us on her short little legs. By the time she was old enough to chase us, we were thinking about cars and tits not little sisters, and she drove David crazy. He'd get impatient and yell and she would cry. Big, fat tears that broke my heart, even back then.

  We grew up, moved out and moved on, leaving SB behind us. At least for a while. Then, the unthinkable happened. That night, it almost broke David. I think it did in some ways, but SarahBeth? Man, it destroyed her. In the blink of an eye she lost her parents. In a way, she gained a new parent in David because he took the "guardian" title to a whole new level. In fact, and it makes me feel like an asshole to say it, but I think Dave may have been more her father than her actual dad was.

  When we moved back, David spent a lot of his time building his business. It was easier for me in a way because I just had to get hired. David built his job from the ground up, which took up the majority of his time, leaving me to entertain SarahBeth. We got extremely close during that time. I knew she had a crush on me, but I thought it was more infatuation than true romantic feelings. I was wrong.

  The older Sarah got, the more beautiful she became. Gone was the tiny tomboy who wanted to follow us everywhere, and in her place was a beautiful woman. The more time I spent with her, the more I started noticing things about her; the smell of her hair, how soft her skin was. The more I noticed, the more I tried to stay away. My best friend's sister shouldn't be the girl I can't stop thinking about. I did everything I could to distance myself from her, making excuses when she asked me to take her places, showing up with a date when I knew she would be there, even though I knew it would hurt her. The lengths I went to were atrocious and shameful, but I was trying to avoid this situation. Instead of thinking of her like a sister, I was thinking of her as someone I wanted to own. She became the girl I wanted to claim, to make sure everyone knew she was mine.

  Finally giving in and taking her should have brought relief, but instead all it brought was more stress and in the end more heartache. I'm old enough to know better. Hiding things never works, secrets always come out. I wanted her more than I wanted his friendship, and look where it got me. He hates me, she's devastated, and everything is completely fucked up.

  I have to make things better; I need to fix this. Fixing my friendship with Dave and deserving SarahBeth is the only thing that matters to me now. He has to understand that hiding our relationship wasn't to hurt him; we weren't trying to deceive him. We were only trying to figure out how to tell him. David discovered us before we were ready, before we could figure out what to say to him. We should have just been honest from the beginning. If I had just gone to him before, explained that I do love her, that I will be good to her, maybe he would have given his blessing.

  At least then, we would know. David's reaction might have surprised us. Instead, I let the fear of losing his friendship, of no longer being like brothers color my reactions and influence my decisions. I'm done being afraid; I'm done hiding. Making him understand just how much I want to be with her, that she is it for me has become my top priority. Now I just have to figure out how to get him to talk to me without him kicking my ass.

  This is our story...

  Jeremy

  5 years earlier...

  I will never forget the night that broke my best friend, the night everything changed. After spending most of the night at a bar we found shortly after moving to Charlotte, we were walking into our tiny ass apartment just as his phone rang. Frowning, David glances down at the display.

  "Who is it?" I ask, because no one should be calling this late. It's after two in the morning, and we just left our group of friends.

  David's brow furrows further. "Fuck if I know. It's not a local number." He doesn't answer and it starts ringing again immediately. David studies his phone for a second but still doesn't answer, when the phone starts ringing immediately a third time, he finally does. I don't know who was on the other line, but whoever it is, the news isn't good. David uses one hand to brace himself against the wall, and the hand holding the phone is visibly shaking. The longer the voice talks, the paler his face gets. We're not chicks, so I don't run over and ask him what was going on, he'll tell me when he's ready. After a much shorter conversation than I would expect based on the look on his face, David slides his phone back in his pocket. He doesn't say a word to me, just walks into his room.

  He shuts the door softly, but it doesn't mask the muffled sound of glass breaking. When I hear his fist hit the wall, I can't sit here and wait for him anymore. I still don't know what the phone call was about, but I know based on his expression when he hung up and the sounds coming out of his room that it was bad. Just as I lift my hand to knock, the door flies open; revealing my best friend looking through me with pain-filled eyes.

  "What. Is. Going. On?" I wait for an answer, but it doesn't come. David stands in his doorway, lost in another world. The fact that he isn't speaking, isn't reacting to anything worries me. Dave isn't the type to keep quiet when shit's bothering him. He's the guy who will be in your face, never backing down.

  Putting a hand on either side of his face, I force him to look at me. "What. Is. Going. On? Dude, you're scaring me right now. Who was that?"

  David blinks, and he whispers, "They're gone."

  "Who's gone Dave? You're not making any sense."

  "My parents. They were in an accident on the way to Atlanta." The tears in his eyes overflow, and he leans heavily against the doorjamb.

  Oh fuck. At first, I can't speak because of the sudden lump in my throat, but my blood quickly turns to ice as I ask the question I need the answer to the most, "Was SarahBeth with them?"

  "Huh?" David looks confused, like the question I just asked him didn't make sense, and it takes a minute to sink in before his eyes widen and his words came out fast. "Oh! No man, she's at a friends. My mom called the other day to tell me they were going on a trip, but since it was their anniversary they were leaving her at Livvie's. Thank God."

  I sag visibly in relief. Growing up, I spent more time with David's family than I did my own and I'm sure it won't be long before the fact that Elizabeth and David Sr. are gone hits me, but I can't even explain the relief I feel that SarahBeth wasn't with them. David's rushing around the apartment, throwing random things in a bag and I realize he's getting ready to leave.

  "You're not driving alone, D. I'm coming with you." David starts to shake his head in pro
test, but I cut him off. "You're not doing this shit alone, are you crazy? You're going to have to make arrangements, call your grandparents...damn, you're going to have to tell SB what happened." As soon as I say the words, David's face loses the little bit of color it had as he sits heavily on the couch while I start gathering my own belongings. I can't let him do this by himself.

  Dropping his head in his hands, Dave's voice comes out rough, like he's been chewing on glass. "Motherfucker!" Lifting his head, his look is pleading when he continues, "How the hell do I tell her this? Jesus Christ Jer, this is going to break her heart! I can't..." He clears his throat, "I can't tell her this. How do I tell my baby sister..." David trails off, lost in his own personal hell and there is nothing anyone can do to help him.

  "Should I call Amy?" I ask hesitantly, not sure what I can do for him. Yeah, we've been friends since we were young, but I don't know how to deal with this kind of shit. I don't know how to help him tell his sister that her parents are dead, or how to help her transition into what her life is going to become. I've never had to deal with anything like this. I'm not sure I'd even slow down if someone told me my mother was dead, she's been gone for such a long time. My mother left me at a very young age after deciding she was over being a parent, and I never knew my father. But D's parents, they practically adopted me when we were in school. Dave Sr. was hard as shit on D, but he treated SB like a fucking princess and he was always good to me. He just had very different ideas on what David should do with his life, and he wasn't happy when he went his own way instead of following in his father's footsteps.

  When he doesn't respond to my question, I ask it again. Finally, he snaps out of his thoughts to reply, "No, don't bother her. I'll call her later. She's not even supposed to be back until Tuesday. I don't want to deal with her drama right now." Oh..kay. I guess they're fighting again. They seem to be doing a lot of that lately. Before I can say anything further, he jumps up from the couch in a panic. "I have to go. Chattanooga is five hours away, and then I have to get to SarahBeth before someone else does."