The Christmas Star

by Donna VanLiere

  “I don’t know…” Lauren looks at Gloria. “What do you think?”

  “I think you need to choose a dress that you love,” Gloria says warmly.

  “But Miriam, you’re…”

  Gloria holds up her hand. “This is your wedding and this is Miriam’s gift to you. She’s not the one wearing this dress. Right, Miriam?”

  “Absolutely! You simply must choose the dress that you love,” Miriam says, meaning it.

  Lauren walks down the racks of dresses, moving each one until she finds a simple white satin dress with capped short sleeves. “I like this one.”

  Miriam reaches for it. “But where’s the train?”

  “I don’t want a train.”

  “You don’t want a—” She stops when Gloria digs her finger into her arm. “Do you want a veil?” she asks, hopeful.

  Lauren smirks. “Not really. I’m sorry, Miriam.”

  Gloria laughs. “You don’t need to apologize to her! This is your wedding! Isn’t that right, Miriam?”

  “Of course it is! But I think you’ll find that they have trains that can easily attach to the dress that would elongate and beautify it in a dramatic yet elegant—”

  “Miriam!”

  Miriam nods. “But elegance isn’t for everyone.”

  “Always classy, Miriam,” Gloria whispers.

  “I like this one too,” Lauren says, lifting one in breezy polyester. “And this one.”

  Gloria and Miriam wait outside the dressing room and ooh and aah as Lauren models each dress. Lauren never thought something like this would happen to her. It was just one year ago that she sat waiting in a restaurant booth for her mom to show up, after years of being gone from her life. She never showed. Lauren thought that was the summation of her life and she failed to return to Glory’s Place for days on end, but then Travis showed up. He waited outside the grocery store where she worked as a cashier and wouldn’t let her walk away from Gloria, Miriam, Stacy, and all the kids at Glory’s Place. He encouraged her to show up again and she did, and now she’s staring at herself in wedding dresses.

  “I asked Dalton to give me away,” Lauren says, looking at the back of one dress in the mirrors.

  “When did you do that?” Gloria asks, reaching for a pack of M&M’s in her purse.

  “Just yesterday. I drove over to their house and he and Heddy had just finished lunch and were about to eat some cake.”

  “Was it her hummingbird cake?” Gloria asks, popping an M&M in her mouth. “She makes the best hummingbird cake.”

  “It was red velvet.”

  “Mmm,” Gloria says with enthusiasm. “That one is the best.” She notices Miriam staring at her and pops another M&M into her mouth. “Go ahead.”

  “So Heddy gave me a piece of cake and a cup of coffee and I asked him.”

  “How did you ask him?” Gloria says, helping her unzip the dress.

  “I said, ‘Dalton, you’re the closest person to a father that I’ve ever had and I would love it if you would walk me down the aisle at my wedding.’” Dalton and Heddy had an open-door policy with Lauren. She ate with them a couple of times every month, played games with them and their grandchildren, helped get their flower beds in shape in the spring and fall, and stood nearby as Dalton changed the oil in her car. They hugged her and Travis each time they arrived and hugged them good-bye when they left.

  “And did he cry?” Gloria asks. “Dalton always cries.”

  “He did. Heddy did too.”

  Gloria claps her hands together. “Oh, I love it! They think of you as another granddaughter.”

  “Their white/Hispanic granddaughter,” Lauren says, laughing.

  “Families are made up of all colors,” Miriam says.

  Gloria looks at her. “That was lovely, Miriam.”

  “Oh, shut up,” Miriam says, sighing.

  Seven dresses later, Lauren decides on the first one she found, the one in white satin with the short, capped sleeves. Her size is unavailable but they are told it will only take five or six days to receive. Lauren hugs both Miriam and Gloria for their help and vows to remember this day forever.

  FOURTEEN

  Amy races inside Glory’s Place, aggravated that she could not get out of the office earlier. “I’m so sorry I’m late,” she says when she sees Gloria.

  “Don’t worry about it, babe,” she says, taking a math book from Lukas. “I used to be in the workforce too.” She glances over the work in the book and looks up, spotting Stacy. “Stacy? Would you take Lukas back with your group? He needs some extra help with multiplication. Run on back with them,” she says, handing the book back to him.

  “Um, Gloria,” Amy begins. “I think I need to explain.”

  “Explain what?”

  “About Saturday at Betty’s Bakery. I never told anybody that I’d been married before.”

  Gloria smiles. “You didn’t have to.”

  “Well, it was awkward and…”

  “Only because Miriam made it that way,” Gloria says. “That’s one of her gifts that just keeps on giving. Of course Ben didn’t help much either, did he?” She squeezes Amy’s arm, laughing, and begins to walk toward the tutoring room.

  “I don’t know why Ben said that,” Amy says. Gloria turns to look at her. “Gabe doesn’t love me anymore.”

  “I just can’t believe that,” Gloria says. Amy looks surprised. “It seems that once someone meets you they’d love you forever.” She smiles and begins to step away.

  “Um, Gloria! I was wondering if I might be able to chat with you at some point,” Amy says.

  “Sure. Let’s go to the office and I’ll have Heddy oversee tutoring today.” Gloria closes the office door behind them and sits in a chair next to Amy.

  “I had a thought a few months ago and I thought it would go away but it didn’t.”

  Gloria nods. “One of those hanging-on thoughts.”

  “At first I thought it was a bit crazy but as time went on, it made sense, and I told you that I had taken the courses to be a foster parent.” Gloria nods. “That’s where you come in.”

  “I’m happy to help!”

  Amy shifts in the chair. “From my very first day here I looked at all these kids and thought that I could easily bring any one of them into my home and take care of them. That’s how I felt about them. Right from the start.” Gloria nods in understanding. “I know that several of the kids here are in foster care and if there’s a time down the road where you know that one of them needs a new foster home … well, I would love to open my home.”

  “You would be wonderful! Have you met Patricia Anderson with the Department of Family Services yet?” Amy shakes her head. “She’s a longtime friend and the social worker that we most often work with; she can answer all of your questions. She’d know if all of your paperwork is in place or if you’re missing anything. If you’re ready, I can call her.”

  Amy nods. “I think so.”

  “Patricia has helped with a lot of the kids who have come through here over the years.” She looks at her. “I’m glad you’re following the nudge.”

  “Is that what it is?”

  Gloria nods. “It’s what I call it. God nudges us throughout our lives but I wonder how many actually act on it.”

  Amy walks out into the big room, looking across it, and wonders how many nudges she has ignored throughout her life. Maddie, Eva, and Brianna grab her for a game of Sorry! and she looks at their faces, fully believing she’s not supposed to miss this nudge.

  * * *

  Gabe reaches for the milk and closes the refrigerator, before pouring a couple of his favorite cereals into a bowl. After the divorce, he lived with his parents for a few months before securing this apartment. It is sparse; he’s never needed much: a couch, a TV, a small table with a couple of chairs, a bed, a nightstand, and a chest of drawers. His life has been routine for the last several years: get up, eat some cereal, go to work, attend AA, meet with his sponsor, and develop his relationship with God. He i
s the first to say that God saved him from himself. He accomplished more in his first thirty days of sobriety than he ever had before in his life and is still amazed at what he can do sober. For years his natural survival skill was to turn to alcohol alone; he thought every day had to be lived in the highs. He had to create a new natural order to his life and in so doing he has discovered that life is pretty darn good in the middle.

  This morning he seems to be following his normal routine, and it feels that way, but his thoughts are far from normal. If anyone had asked him two weeks ago if he would ever see his ex-wife again, he would’ve said no. If that same person had asked if his ex-wife would ever sit next to him on a bench and laugh, he would have said no. If that person would then ask if Gabe would ever find himself having feelings for his ex-wife, he would have answered a resounding no, but today something has changed. He spent a fitful night thinking about her, about her laugh, about her penetrating eyes when she’s challenging him on something, the little creases that appear on each side of her mouth when she smiles, and the ease and kindness she displays when interacting with Maddie. As much as he wanted to drive the thoughts away so he could rest, there she was again and again. When she first saw him at the gazebo, with the initial recognition, sorrow appeared in her eyes, and it made him cringe, knowing that he was responsible for putting it there. But he noticed, first at Betty’s, and then on the park bench, that the look in her eyes changed; it became a look of confusion. The look of grief and sorrow is too much to bear, but he can handle bewilderment, because it possibly means that she’s trying to figure out what has happened to him, that maybe she’s recognizing he’s no longer the same.

  During the lunch hour for the fourth-graders, Gabe and Lenny, one of his coworkers in the maintenance department, continue to work on returning heat to Mrs. Navarro’s room. The heat and A/C system has been on its last breath for the last couple of years, which means Gabe and his coworkers are kept busy throughout the school. As Lenny leaves the room for extra tools, Gabe pulls out his phone, looking at it. The same thought that nagged him throughout the night has spilled over into the morning, but he’s afraid to follow through. He slips the phone back into his pocket and tries to return to his work, but the phone feels heavy in his pocket and he pulls it out, tapping the map app and typing in Glory’s Place. He wants to call and leave a message for Amy, or does he? He wants to make things better, but will calling her only make matters worse? When he hears Lenny’s voice just outside the door, he slips the phone back into his pocket.

  * * *

  Fresh apple pie, cakes that are rising in the oven, chocolate scones on the counter, and percolating coffee fill Betty’s Bakery with delicious smells as Amy enters the shop. Gabe waves at her from a bench and stands when she approaches the front counter.

  “Funny to see you here,” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets to keep them from flying away.

  “I’m picking up some pastries for a meeting that Gloria is having this afternoon.” She looks inside the display case, hoping he’ll go back to his seat.

  “I just got out of class. I’m waiting for Travis and am a few minutes early. We meet here sometimes before he goes to help Lauren clean up at Glory’s Place.”

  “Ah,” she says, pointing to a variety of pastries for the woman behind the counter. “Gloria said there’s also a pie that she ordered ahead of time.” The woman nods and disappears behind the wall.

  “So how were the kids today?”

  “They were great,” Amy says. “I could ask you the same thing about all the kids in school.”

  “I don’t deal with them as much as the teachers do, but when I do see them, they’re great.”

  A long and miserable silence stretches out between them and Amy sighs, looking down into the display case. “If I’m going to be bumping into you when I come to Grandon, how long is it going to take before anything between us gets past this uncomfortable hump?”

  He smiles, nodding. “I don’t really know how you want me to talk to you because you said that I wasn’t good for—”

  She cuts him off, remembering her harsh words. “Just talk to me like you talk to Travis.”

  He laughs. “I don’t think so. Travis and I still act like idiots together.”

  She attempts to make their conversation sound relaxed. “I’m glad he’s marrying Lauren. She’s great. She absolutely loves those kids at Glory’s Place.”

  “She is great. They were on-again, off-again for a while last year, and I wondered if they would make it but, man, Travis loves her and he chased her down, proving it to her.”

  “Sometimes a girl just needs proof, I guess.” She looks at him a moment longer than she intended and glances at her watch, wondering out loud what has happened to the woman helping her.

  “That color blue is very nice on you.” She’s wearing a blue turtleneck with blue jeans and looks amazing.

  “Thanks. I’ve had this for years.”

  “Same with this shirt,” Gabe says, tugging on the flannel collar. “But Maddie likes it.”

  “When did you become a flannel man?”

  He glances down at the shirt. “I’m not really sure. One day after we split up I looked at my clothes and realized…”

  “You needed to get rid of them and start new,” she says, indicating the turtleneck.

  “Well, I like your new look,” Gabe says.

  “Thanks. You’re definitely a flannel guy now.”

  “And your hair and glasses are great. You started new with everything.”

  “I needed to.” She smiles when she sees the woman return with the pie and boxed pastries and Gabe offers to help her out. “I got it. Thanks,” she says, leaving him at the counter.

  On his drive home, Gabe can’t remember everything that they talked about, but he remembers her. Her eyes are now a mixture of puzzlement and something else; something that made his heart slip an inch or two beneath his ribs. It’s too much to think about or imagine, but Gabe drives home smiling anyway.

  FIFTEEN

  Lauren waits at the front counter as the sales associate at Grandon Dress and Formal Wear goes to the storeroom to retrieve her wedding dress. The wait becomes lengthy, and assuming the woman has gotten caught on a call that she answered in the storeroom, Lauren decides to peruse the dresses on the racks. She notices a young woman around her age or older on the other side of the store who seems to be shopping with her mother. On closer look, Lauren realizes they are the same two women who were on the ground watching Travis as he put the star on top of the gazebo. They are whispering as they hold up a dress, checking out the price, before returning each one to the rack. A couple of minutes later, Lauren pretends not to notice as the would-be bride becomes visibly upset, her voice rising, and tears filling her eyes.

  “There’s nothing here that’s affordable,” the younger woman says, keeping her voice low. “Let’s look somewhere else.”

  “Let’s keep looking here,” the older woman says, trying to calm her. “We’ll find something.”

  “Mom. It doesn’t matter. I don’t need a dress.”

  Her mother puts her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, forcing her to look at her. “You’ve dreamed of this day since you were a young girl. You’ve always wanted a wedding dress and your father would want you to have one.”

  Lauren studies pearls lining the sleeve of one dress but can see the young woman shake her head. “You don’t have…” Lauren can’t make out what she’s saying as the sales associate is talking over the racks of dresses to Lauren as she reenters the store.

  “I am so sorry,” she says. “It’s not in yet.” She moves to the computer, clicking the keys.

  “I was told it would be in this morning,” Lauren says.

  “Yes, you’re right. It should have been, but for some reason…” She pecks away at the keys and nods, seeing the answer on the screen. “It’s on back order. Hmm.”

  Lauren waits for her to clarify what hmm means. “So … when will it be in?” sh
e asks, concerned.

  Lines crease between the woman’s brows. “It shouldn’t take more than three or four days,” she says, looking at Lauren over her glasses. “We can call when it arrives.”

  Lauren decides not to tell Miriam; there’s no reason to get her up in arms over a few days’ delay and Miriam hasn’t rebounded since Lauren told her that Stacy, her maid of honor, could wear whatever dress she preferred.

  “No, no, no!” Miriam said, stomping her foot inside the big room at Glory’s Place. “A maid of honor should exhibit class and elegance in what she wears, and I’ve seen Stacy at black-tie events. She’s a solid, salt-of-the-earth gal and her wardrobe reflects that fine stock.”

  “I’m right here, Miriam,” Stacy said.

  “Oh, no offense, dear. I’m merely saying that a wedding requires something more than off-the-rack at Wilson’s Department Store.”

  “Incredible. In one breath she’s managed to offend not one, but two people,” Gloria said. Miriam turned to her, annoyed. “My husband owns Wilson’s, you know!”

  “And so you know that there isn’t anything upscale about it,” Miriam said, as surely as the sky is blue and the grass is green.

  Despite the dress not arriving on time, as far as Lauren is concerned, the wedding plans are nearly perfect.

  * * *

  Maddie wasn’t at school yesterday and Gabe hasn’t seen her this morning, so he assumes she’s sick. This time of year always brings with it one or two viruses and the flu. As much he wants to, he refrains from texting or calling Amy, to touch base and see how her day is going. He wants to be that person in her life again but realizes it’s probably impossible. However, she no longer looks at him with hate or bitterness and for that he’s grateful. After their divorce it’s actually more than he could have hoped for. He reminds himself to stay cool, keep his head on his shoulders, and his mouth shut, so he doesn’t ruin any possibility of friendship.