A Taste of Honey

by Lindsay Kiernan

  “Does this mean that you'll let me court you?” he asked with a light laugh as he lowered his mouth to her neck, feeding on her.

  “No,” she told him, twisting around in his arms so that she hugged the tree instead of his body. It was a little too late for rational sense but it came flooding back in waves of shame. “This has been a perfect example of what I'm afraid of,” she told him as tears sprung to her eyes. “My emotions are too violent when I'm with you. I couldn't live my life needing you to touch me like this every time we see each other. It's not right, this isn't who I was supposed to become,” she sobbed.

  “You let me touch you like that, to then tell me no?” he asked as he stared at her back and she could sense how upset he had become.

  “With Kent I could have something more comfortable. He doesn't make me feel this way, this needy.” She tried to explain everything to him as she sensed his rage. “Garrett I'm too afraid of us to even consider being with you.” At last she turned and drifted her fingers along his face soothingly before bringing her lips to his, trying to make him understand.

  Garrett pushed her back, closing his eyes as if he were in pain. “You can't have it both ways Kat,” he growled before walking away, leaving her panting and confused.

  “Is your ankle good enough for you to attend the week retreat that your sister and Victor have planned?” Kent asked when Katherine returned from her walk in the gardens alone. She glanced around to find Garrett off in the corner, watching the dancers but avoiding her gaze.

  “What retreat?” she asked still staring in the distance, trying to read Garrett's emotions.

  “The one that Victor is putting on for your sister, next week,” he answered, confused that she had not yet heard about it from Robin when she had been the one to invite him.

  “My ankle was never very bad to begin with,” she assured him as he handed her a glass of warm wine that he must have been holding for awhile. Just how long had she been outside with Garrett? Had anyone else noticed?

  “Good, then you owe me a dance. Victor injured you before I was able to have the pleasure last time,” he reminded her and threw in another of his dashing smile. It did nothing for her insides, not even a quiver she realized with a tinge of guilt and relief. Life with Kent could be enjoyable and comfortable. And more important, she would be able to keep her promise to her mother. She had to hope that it would be enough for her.

  “I would love to dance with you at the ball next week,” she assured him. They continued to discuss some of the polite and mundane subjects that she and Garrett never discussed like the new hairstyle that Winnie had chosen for her, and what her life before London had been like. It was comfortable and she had to admit that it was also a little boring.

  “Aren't you sleeping upstairs?” Robin asked once they were back at the townhouse and Katherine began readying for bed in the same room as her sister.

  “No, my ankle's fine now, I don't need to use that room anymore.” After tonight she could not allow herself to sleep in Garrett's bedroom. She was mortified at what she had done and blamed herself for not being able to control the situation. Garrett was right to be mad at her. He had tried to stop them, had even held back and she had used him. It was that simple.

  “Maybe I should sleep up there tonight,” Robin suggested. “It looked like a very comfortable bed and Victor nearly sprained my ankle during one of the dances. I think I might spend tonight up there instead of with you. I'm sure that the family won't mind.”

  Katherine's head flashed to an image of Garrett sneaking into his room to finish what they had started earlier and finding Robin instead. He could tell them apart when they were awake but what about in the dead of night while they were asleep? Katherine decided that she couldn't risk it. “I don't think that's a good idea. It's his bedroom, not ours,” she insisted.

  “But he isn't using it,” Robin complained, and then remembered another subject that she wanted to talk to Katherine about. “And I don't like the way he looked at you during the carriage ride tonight. I think he may have some feelings for you.”

  Katherine remembered that she still had not explained his identity to her sister who had been too busy thinking about Victor over the last week to care about Katherine's life. It had not been intentional to keep it secret from her sister, until now. She decided to continue keeping it from her sister who she knew would become quite upset if the truth were revealed about Garrett.

  They dressed quietly for bed until Robin could hold it in no longer. “He has no title you know, and I don't think he's that rich either.”

  “Who?”

  “Garrett Brentley of course. I'm worried that he likes you, and since you've had very little luck in finding someone suitable, I didn't want you to upset me and mother and settle for someone like him, someone who has no title and is no help to our family,” Robin informed her again in case she hadn't been heard the first time.

  “I know that he has no title,” Katherine told her, not really paying attention as she sat to write a short letter to their father before bed.

  “Well he must be staring at you for some reason,” Robin said as she practiced rearranging her hair into a new style before letting it drop down past her shoulders again. “I don't want you leading him on when it's clear that he won't work for what we need.”

  Katherine hated the way her sister had begun referring to the men they met, like they were pawns in her great game and she could play with them however she wanted to. Her increased interests in Victor seemed to have made her more cynical of men in general. Robin hardly seemed to be falling in love with anything except for Victor's pocketbook.

  “I have not given him any sign that I want his attentions,” she assured her sister before setting down her quill. She was too upset to write a letter to her father anyway and she had not heard back from him since the last letter that she had written. There had only been a short note from her mother informing them that he was too ill right now to write her back.

  “Now Kent, he might work well for us. I was happy to see you talking to him tonight. Titled, handsome and moderately wealthy, mother would certainly approved of him as a choice. If you work quickly enough we could have a double wedding as I expect Victor to propose quite soon.”

  She had a hard time believing that her sister would be willing to share the spotlight on her wedding day. No, it was just that she wanted Katherine to find a man and be done with it.

  It was the only thing that they both seemed to agree on.

  For the next couple of days things became blissfully slow. As they would be leaving for Victor's retreat in three days, Mrs. Brentley had decided to decline any further invitations until after they returned from their trip. Katherine took the opportunity to write to her father and mother again, sending them Robin's love and asking after their father's health. She also tried to assure her mother that they were behaving for Mrs. Brentley, though that was not entirely true.

  Katherine stayed mostly in the parlor during her days, reading one of the many books that the late Mr. Brentley had collected. “You should visit our estate sometime,” Winnie had insisted as she joined her in the room. “My father's library is very large and includes a small reading nook hidden behind one of the book shelves.” Katherine had to admit that she was enchanted by the idea.

  “Kent's estate is very close to yours isn't it?” she asked only to receive a deep frown from Winnie. “I could visit you from there too.”

  “If you marry him, I won't let you come over and spend time with us,” Winnie pouted.

  “Yes you would. We'd visit nearly every day,” Katherine assured her, trying to win her friend's acceptance of Kent as her future husband.

  “All right, I'll invite you over, but not Kent and you'll never be allowed to bring him with you.” The two had laughed then, although Winnie still warned her away from making Kent her choice. “Even if you don't marry Garrett, you have to promise me that you won't choose Kent. You deserve better.”

  Kath
erine's favorite new routine since becoming injured was taking walks with Winnie since she was not supposed to go alone anymore. They had much in common, including a love for horses and they talked comfortably for hours during their leisurely night strolls through the better parts of town.

  “I have a beautiful white mare at home, but when we come to town we have to leave him there. I don't get to ride as often when we visit London,” Winnie told her.

  One thing that they didn't share was Katherine's love of honeyed tea. Winnie had even tried hers one afternoon as Katherine sat sipping the beverage as if it were liquid heaven.

  “It can't be that good.” Winnie had argued. Handing the cup over, Katherine had let her take a sip of the sweet brew. “No, that really is terrible,” Winnie had insisted after making a face.

  They began trusting in each other, talking about their hopes of the future and what they would each require to be happy. While Katherine wanted to bare her secrets to Winnie, she held back from telling her that she would be disinherited by her mother were she not to marry a lord. She also skirted around talking about exactly what kind of man she wanted because she found herself as unsure as ever.

  Winnie was more open and she spoke about how hard it was to always be the woman who couldn't join in on the events and she described how she longed for when she was old enough to attend dances and other social events. Going to the theater had been a huge deal for her and she beamed whenever she spoke of it. “I don't want to get married right away,” Winnie felt the need to clarify. “I hope to spend at least two years before settling for a husband. It's just the fear of being left out that makes me so antsy.”

  Katherine promised herself that she would try to help Winnie not feel so cut off from the events that Mrs. Brentley took her and Robin to. She would include Winnie whenever possible and she planned to discuss with Mrs. Brentley the idea of letting her daughter begin attending social events a little earlier than she had planned.

  Chapter 11

  “I get to come too!” Winnie exclaimed as she burst into the small parlor room that had become their own personal sanctuary.

  Setting her book aside, Katherine patted the seat beside her on the settee for Winnie to join her. “What do you mean?” she asked, excited to see Winnie happy and exuberant. Her moods were always infectious for Katherine and it was easy for Winnie to brighten her day.

  “Victor's invitation included Mrs. Brentley, her charges and family, and mother decided that I could go with all of you to the Sullivan Estate for the full week,” Winnie said.

  The retreat was all that Robin had talked about on the few occasions when Katherine had seen her sister alone since the night that they had discussed Garrett and Kent.

  Winnie had been equally excited even though she had believed that she would have to stay at the townhouse alone. Katherine refused to admit that she had taken any steps to help with Winnie receiving the invitation. A short discussion with Mrs. Brentley had not included whether or not she should be allowed to attend Victor's retreat, they had merely discussed how mature Winnie had become.

  “Mother says that the crowd he keeps is likely to be unconventional and so she felt that it was not quite a society event. Therefore, even though I have not had a coming out party, she is allowing me to attend.”

  “That's wonderful,” Katherine said, trying to sound like it was a shock to her. “It will be nice to have you there with me.”

  “I won't be able to attend the ball at the end, but I can be there for the picnics. And we can finally go horse riding together. I've heard that Victor has some great horses and a large forest with trails running through it. This trip will be wonderful.”

  Katherine watched how excited her friend was at the news, how she bubbled over with excitement. After years of seeing her mother take other girls on grand adventures it must have been a relief for Winnie to finally be invited along.

  “Is Garrett planning on attending?” she asked quietly. He had not been by since the night that they had kissed beneath the apple trees and although Winnie didn't know what had happened she knew that something had gone wrong between the two.

  “Yes he's going to be there too.” Winnie tried to move past the news and onto something that would make her friend happy, even if she did not approve of Katherine's affections for him. “Kent will be there as well.”

  “Lord Kent?” Katherine asked, finally looking forward to the weekend retreat, maybe it wouldn't be as useless for her as she had worried.

  Winnie nodded uncomfortably, handing her the small note that he had passed her an hour ago when she had been out to fetch some fresh flowers with one of the maids. “He asked me to give you this.”

  The short note informed her that he had not been able to get past 'The Hag that guarded the doors of the townhouse', but that he would see her soon at the Sullivan Estate and he wished her well.

  “If you really want to see him you'll have to be sneaky, mother has told me that she doesn't want him anywhere near you again.” After seeing Katherine with Kent at the dance, Mrs. Brentley had all but forbidden her charge from seeing him.

  Katherine knew that she would be going against her sponsor's wishes and best intentions. She had begun to feel bad for Mrs. Brentley who was used to her charges listening to her. Their tea party had proven that the women had trusted her, and still did. They gathered each year to listen to the sage advice of their former sponsor. And Katherine was sure that Mrs. Brentley had chosen the twins as some crowning achievement before her daughter's turn and her retirement from London's society. Now both of her charges were pursuing men that she did not approve of.

  “You like him, don't you?” Winnie asked after Katherine read the small note.

  “Yes I do,” Katherine refolded the letter and tucked it away. “If I write one back to him, would you deliver it?” she asked, already knowing that she would be refused.

  While Winnie had been willing to deliver the note to Katherine she put her foot down now. “I refuse to help you marry him, so don't ask me for any more favors when it comes to him,” she huffed indignantly before leaving the room.

  Even after Victor's repeated gloating about his house, the Sullivan estate was much larger than either of the Wellings twins had expected it to be. Victor had filled them in on the history of the property, telling them about how it had once belonged to one of the richest Dukes in England. Through the years the family had become poor and their house had run into disrepair. For this reason Victor had been able to purchase the property well below its actual value. He readily admitted that the house needed work with updating into the newest fashions, but the size alone made the mansion fashionable enough to impress almost everyone who visited despite the outdated and sometimes dusty pieces of furniture.

  Once on his property, they passed woods and gullies for miles before reaching the house itself. Winnie smiled at the trees and rough terrain, watching little paths that wove through the grounds. “This will be great for horseback riding. I've needed a better challenge for quite some time.” Mrs. Brentley scowled at the comment. It was clear that she did not approve of her daughter's wild antics when it came to horseback riding.

  Robin watched the servants running about and looked closely at the grounds and outbuildings as they approached the main house. She seemed to be deciding what she would keep or change about the place once she became mistress of the house. “Victor has enough money that I could set his estate up any way that I wanted to,” she told her sister before they left that morning, when Katherine had tried to confront her about Victor. “He's rich and he wants to marry me. That's enough of a reason to marry him.”

  “But do you believe that you could ever love him back?” Katherine had asked, hoping to hear some kind sentiment about Victor other than his riches.

  “God no, he may be somewhat handsome and intelligent enough to have stepped up in the world, but love him?” She laughed disdainfully. “Besides why would I want to? Love only makes life confusing and difficult,” Robin t
old her.

  It was not the answer that she had hoped for.

  Katherine tried not to look through the small crowds already gathering outside to greet friends as they arrived. Garrett had not come by to visit at the townhouse and she began to wonder if it was part of his larger plan. Getting her used to his presence so that she would notice when he wasn't there. It hurt her to admit that she had indeed noticed his absence over the past few days despite her best attempts not to. Besides she needed to find some way to apologize, not that she thought that he would accept it. He had been hurt by her and she didn't know how to patch things up so that they could be friends.

  As their carriage stopped, Katherine was surprised to see that Kent's face was the first one they saw. Opening the door he helped escort Robin and Katherine out of the carriage, holding Katherine's hand just a tad too long and winking at her in the process. He had then offered his assistance to Mrs. Brentley who instead pushed past him as she exited. Looking into the small interior he found another occupant looking equally upset at his presence.

  “Well if it isn't the little Brentley brat,” he said as he pulled Winnie out of the carriage against her will. Despite her gangly height and surprising strength Kent was able to easily over power her. Setting Winnie on her feet he looked her over. “I thought you were still too little for these events.”

  Winnie brushed off her skirts as if his hands might have dirtied them. “I'm not the same little girl that you used to pick on. I've changed Kent.”

  “I think you might be right,” he answered standing closer so that he could look her over better. “You're taller. That's what's different,” he decided, while ignoring that she had changed in any other way. “Still, what are you doing here?”