Shape of My Life

by DC Renee

  We spent the night bouncing between me trying to learn more about her and being inside her. I had heard it said before that the reason sex was a sin because the man felt like God himself inside a woman, and sure enough, I did. I had felt like a god when I pleasured a woman beyond all reason before, but I had felt like the Supreme Being himself with Brook’s legs wrapped around me.

  I needed more of her, and I would not stop until I had her. The problem was the little minx didn’t think she wanted me. Oh, I knew she wanted me, and if she didn’t, well, I’d convince her she did because as I said, if I wanted something, I had to believe it would happen. Plus, I knew I could win her over with my charm and persistence … I already knew I wasn’t giving up on her. But I wasn’t worried about her not wanting me; it was that she didn’t think she wanted me.

  I let her go … temporarily, and unfortunately, I was preoccupied with work for a few days. At first, I missed her. I hardly knew her, but I missed her already, which was sort of insane. Then I tried to convince myself that I was just feeling intense lust, and when I saw her again, it would be different. She wouldn’t be nearly as intriguing as she was before, and I wouldn’t be as enraptured by her as I was. Wrong.

  I would see her again if only to prove that I wasn’t this crazy about a girl I barely knew, but then I saw her, and damn if I didn’t feel like a fucking girl because my heart stopped beating. And then we spent the evening getting to know each other better, and I stopped bothering to deny my feelings. I was officially addicted to Brook, and no one else would do. I needed her like I needed music … no, I could live without music, not happily, but I could … I needed her like a drought needed rain. Now, I only had to convince her of the same.

  Brooklyn

  I should have known one date with Grennan would not do it for him. Honestly, it wasn’t enough for me either, but I was still allowing reason and logic to rule me. My heart and body had been on board with this whole dating thing, but my mind screamed that in the normal world, big-time rock stars didn’t date random nobodies. They certainly didn’t chase after them. And they sure as hell didn’t have to convince—for lack of a better word—said nobody to give them a chance. I was half waiting to see if this dream would turn into reality because my damn heart was already pitter-pattering thanks to Grennan’s charm, his kindness, his attention, his words, his body, and let’s not forget about the sex. The other half of me was waiting for the cameras to appear and for someone to announce I was on some prank show.

  After I had convinced him I had to go home and change before work—yes, the man required convincing to let me go—he showed up at the shop at lunchtime with food for me. It was always slow at work, so he stayed, and we ate and talked.

  “I’m picking you up at seven again tonight,” he told me as he left.

  “What if I say no?” I noticed we bantered like this often in the short timeframe we knew each other. I liked it. I liked how pushy he was. Did that make me the anti-feminist? Maybe. But I didn’t care. I’d probably read too many books and seen too many movies about the suave alpha male essentially dictating what the woman would do. I never thought it would be sexy in real life, but Grennan made it work. Honestly, it was probably how desperately he seemed to want to spend time with me, how he seemed to care about me, and how he made me believe this wasn’t just a short fling that would leave me crying in the dust. And all this in essentially a matter of days.

  “This again?” He sighed. “Face it, Brooklyn, you’re not saying no, and if you do, I’m not listening anyway.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. I liked Grennan. I really did. And damn if I didn’t enjoy caving to him. I could even see myself eventually falling for the guy. How could I not? How many guys would go through so much trouble for someone they knew, they cared about, loved even? And here was a guy who barely knew me, and he was doing all this just so I believed he cared. That right there was definitely a recipe for potential love.

  That night, when he picked me up, my parents were home. I was too old for them to interrogate my date, but apparently, they didn’t realize that. Yes, I was twenty-five, but since I lived with my folks, I guess it came with the territory.

  I beat my mom to the door, but she was right on my heels. “Who’s this?” she asked. I had no choice but to usher Grennan in and get the third degree out of the way. I mouthed, I’m sorry, to Grennan over my mom’s shoulder; he winked and smiled in return.

  “Grennan, my mom … and dad,” I added as my dad walked in. “Mom, Dad, this is Grennan.”

  “Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Cooper,” he stated.

  “Sit, sit,” my dad said as a way of response as he pointed to the chair opposite the couch. My parents on one side, Grennan on the other—this was starting to resemble an interrogation more and more.

  “We can’t stay long, Dad,” I told him, hoping to head out quickly. I doubted that Grennan had ever had to answer to any girl’s parents. I didn’t want to be the first.

  “It’s fine, Brooklyn,” Grennan said sincerely, and even though I was still nervous, I let out a relieved breath. “Your parents are just worried about you. I can understand that.” Here I was, trying to give him an out, and he was wooing my parents. Traitor.

  “I already like him,” my mom told me as if he wasn’t in the room. I saw Grennan fight a smile.

  “We haven’t seen you around,” my dad told him.

  “I live in New York, sir,” Grennan responded.

  “Oh? You two met last weekend?”

  “Yep,” I answered.

  “And you’re here now?” my mom asked, shock in her voice.

  “Your daughter didn’t make it easy to get a date. I had to go to drastic measures.”

  “And how long are you in town?”

  “A few more days and then I have to head back, but I plan to come back often. And if it’s all right, I hope Brooklyn visits me in New York when I can’t make it here.” He was asking my parents’ permission for me to come to New York for him? Dear Lord, could he make a perfect guy? Too bad I still didn’t believe I wasn’t living in some fantasy land.

  “That’s so sweet,” my mom said out loud. I could physically feel my cheeks heat. This time, Grennan didn’t hide his smile. He looked at me with a look that said, “Why don’t you fall for me that easily?” Because I live in the real world, I silently answered.

  “And what is it you do in New York?” my dad asked.

  “I’m a musician.”

  “Oh?” my mom and dad said virtually at the same time. I swear they both sat up straighter. “How’s that working out for you?” my dad asked.

  “Dad, Grennan is the lead singer for The Rising Sun. It’s a pretty big band. You know that song ‘My Tears’?” My dad nodded. My parents seemed like overprotective parents, but they were actually cool. Money and lots of leisure time allowed for them to be fun. They listened to the music I liked, and they never restricted me. Not that I would have listened since I was an adult, even if it didn’t appear that way, but they cared about my well-being more than I could even describe. I guess I had it good in the parents’ department. “Well, yeah, that’s this guy,” I said as I pointed at Grennan.

  “You’re a rock star?” my mom asked incredulously, and I fought the urge to smack my own forehead.

  “I … uh … well, I guess you could say that.”

  “How’d you two meet?”

  “At a party that Cass got us into,” I answered.

  Both my parents narrowed their eyes in that “I’m going to kick some ass” kind of way. If they could shoot laser beams from their eyes, they would have, but at who, I didn’t know.

  “Well, that’s interesting,” my mom said just as my dad asked Grennan, “This is just a bit of fun for you, right?”

  “Oh, no, no,” he assured them. “I’m dating your daughter. She just doesn’t know it yet.” He smiled, trying to dissipate some of the tension in the room. I knew it, but I just didn’t think it would be more than a few days and was guarding my
heart .

  “She’s standing right here,” I added. “And we have to go.” I grabbed Grennan and dragged him away before the situation could get any more awkward.

  “It was nice meeting you both,” he said as I kept pulling him.

  “Nice meeting you too,” my parents mimicked.

  “I don’t think they like me,” he said, actually sounding nervous as he opened the car door.

  “They’re just the kind of parents who worry too much. They don’t seem to realize I’m an adult.”

  “Don’t worry, Brooklyn, I’ll get them to like me.” I smiled because I had a feeling he would. So far, every time he uttered a sentence that began with “Don’t worry, Brooklyn,” it had come true. And what do you know? He did. While I was at work the following day, he showed up at my house with daffodils—my mom’s favorite, which he found out from me at dinner, and éclairs—my dad’s favorite—also something he wheedled out of me. Then he spent the next hour explaining to them how much he cared about me and how he’d shield me from all the craziness that was his life if and when, and apparently, he stressed the “when” and not the “if,” we get more serious. He told them everything they wanted to hear and more.

  My parents were still nervous about the potential of me dating him, but they were appeased after he charmed them.

  Back to the date. He took me to another restaurant then to a beautiful spot on a cliff, overlooking the city. He laid out a blanket on the hood of his car, and I lay in his arms as he told me about the constellations. He didn’t take me back to his hotel room that night.

  “I’m going to get your parents’ approval first, and then I’ll consume you,” he told me as he dropped me off at home. “And I don’t want you to think I only want you for sex.”

  “I think all this wining and dining proves otherwise,” I told him.

  “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

  Needless to say, I hadn’t.

  Grennan

  If I thought I was screwed with the way my blood literally sang when I even thought about Brook, let alone was near her, then I knew I was screwed when I willingly went into the lion’s den for her. Maybe it was partially for my benefit too, but I had never pictured myself having to bend over backward to get people to like me, let alone the parents of the girl I was dating. Then again, I had never thought about being with a girl for more than a few hours until Brook.

  I’d heard stories about love at first sight or falling for someone in a short time, usually associated with dramatic events, but that was all they were—stories. They were about as real as the boogeyman, and even then, I’d have probably believed he was real faster than someone telling me I’d be completely and utterly obsessed with Brook in just a few short days. But that nagging insta-love thing was clawing its way through my body.

  Did my intensity scare her? I actually wasn’t so sure. I think she was more in denial about what was happening between the two of us than anything else. That didn’t matter, though; I’d prove to her that we were the real deal. Cocky much? Sure, but I knew we had something special between us. I knew she knew it too, but she was skeptical. I’d just have to prove to her to let go and allow us to happen.

  I had gotten used to getting just about everything I ever wanted by the time I’d made it to college, and that just magnified after the band was signed. Was it wrong that I included Brook as part of that bracket? Probably, but it wasn’t as if I could shut off my basic instincts overnight. I wanted Brook more than I’d wanted anything in my life, so if I had to woo every person in her life she cared about, then that was what I’d do.

  “Hi, uh, Mrs. Cooper,” I said as she opened the door.

  “Grennan, what are you doing here?” she asked, surprised by my visit. “Brook is over at the shop.”

  “I know. I’m here to see you and Mr. Cooper.”

  “Is everything all right?” she asked, concern clouding her features.

  “Yeah,” I choked out nervously. “Yes,” I said a little clearer. “I was hoping to talk to you about my relationship with Brook, and maybe ease some concerns you both seemed to have.”

  We had barely talked the previous night before Brook had whisked us away, but I got the distinct impression that her parents were not happy with the thought of her dating me. That wouldn’t stop me, but I was sure it would make things difficult. I couldn’t blame them, though. The way movies and media portrayed the life of a musician weren’t too far off. There were always exceptions to the rule, but we did party hard, we did have groupies dropping their panties at the crook of our fingers, and of course, we traveled like we were running from the law, a new city every night. Was that the life these two parents wanted for their daughter? I doubted it. And not once since I had started on this path did I regret my career choice until now … because I wasn’t sure how I would handle things with her and my life. I already felt like I needed her to be with me always; I didn’t even want to think about how I’d feel after some time passed. Twenty-four-seven was obviously not realistic, but my goal was to get her to go with me on tour. Would she, though? Well, I’d get her to. It didn’t mean it wouldn’t get to her. I was worried about whether she could hack it and therefore, stick around to be with me.

  “Oh.” Her mom seemed pleasantly surprised. “Come in, Grennan.”

  “I almost forgot. These are for you.” I handed her the daffodils I’d picked up on the way over.

  “My favorite,” she beamed and reminded me of Brook with that smile.

  She ushered me in and then called out to Brook’s dad, “Erick, come out here.”

  “What’s up, hon?” he asked and then eyed me. “Hi, Grennan. What brings you here?”

  “These are for you.” I offered him the éclairs.

  “Trying to butter me up, eh? Nice touch.” He smiled.

  “I … uh, well, I know you both aren’t thrilled with Brook and me dating, and I know it’s only been a few days since we’ve known each other, but I care about your daughter … a lot. And I want to make sure you’re okay with me sticking around because I plan to.” It could have been misconstrued as cocky, but I was sweating balls at that moment. I could play in front of thousands of people with no problem, but trying to talk to Brook’s parents was like my childhood all over again. Gaining the confidence I had now hadn’t happened overnight. I was an awkward kid and a gangly teenager, but then one day, I shot up and bulked up, and bam, the girls noticed. My confidence grew tenfold, and once I had it, I never looked back. Now, I felt like I was in high school, and everyone was staring at me—not in a good way.

  “Oh, Grennan, we have absolutely nothing against you. You seem like a nice young man. And coming here took a lot of guts,” Amber—her mom— spoke as she motioned for me to sit and then took a seat opposite me; Erick followed suit and sat beside his wife.

  “It’s my profession then?”

  “I don’t know how things will work between the two of you,” Erick started. “No dad wants to see their daughter start something and then have her heart broken.”

  “I’m not going to break her heart,” I told him; my tone and my expression were as serious as my words.

  “I’m not saying you will,” he responded defensively. “I’m just saying that when your daughter starts dating someone, you worry about that. So naturally, we’re going to be cautious, but to answer your question, yes, your profession doesn’t help ease any of our fears.”

  “It won’t touch her, I promise you that.”

  “Oh, sweet boy,” Amber said as if she was placating a child. “I believe you really care about Brook, maybe more than I expected in such a short time. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t please me. As much as I don’t want to see her hurt, I want to see her with someone who will take the time to talk to her parents just because he knows it matters to her. But you’re lying to yourself if you think you can keep her from your world if you two become serious.”

  “When,” I responded. “When we become s
erious. And frankly, I already am serious; it’s just a matter of time before Brooklyn sees me that way.”

  “Okay.” Amber smiled. “When you become serious, are you just going to hide her away while you’re off doing one tour after another?”

  “Mrs. Cooper, I think you overestimate just how popular my band is. We get some paparazzi and a few crazy fans here and there, but it’s nothing like the stuff you see on TV. The general public doesn’t care that much about us. They might show some interest, but it will die down quickly, I promise.”

  “And if your band picks up more steam?”

  “If that happens, and let’s face it, if it was going to, it would have happened by now, but on the big if, I’ll do everything to protect her. I’ll hire security, get her bodyguards, I’ll put a fuc-, er, freaking GPS on her if I have to. I don’t want some crazy fan attacking her or some photographer in her business any more than you do. She’s ... she’s something really special. I want to hold on to that as much as you want to.”

  “She is special, Grennan,” Erick agreed. “Which is why we’re so concerned.”

  “I understand, Mr. Cooper—”

  He cut me off. “She can handle big crowds, but she can’t handle attention on her. What will you do with something like that?”

  “I’ll keep it off her.”

  “How?”

  “By any and all means necessary. If you’re asking me for details, I can’t give you those, but I’ll do everything to make sure she’s comfortable and safe.”