Liver Let Die

by Liz Lipperman

  “That is my point. You’ve become an icon in Ranchero because of the column.”

  “Don’t kid a kidder, Mr. Egan.” Jordan shrugged. “How much?”

  “An extra hundred a week.”

  She bit back a snippy remark and settled for, “I’m sure Loretta Mosley got more than that.”

  “She did, but that’s because her mama and the man who signs your paycheck are siblings. You have an extra perk with the job that she didn’t. This gig gave you a fan base Loretta never even came close to having.”

  Jordan sighed. Though she hated to admit it, Egan was right. People were starting to recognize her on the street, wanting to chat about recipes. Truth be told, she was proud of the way she’d pulled it off so far, given her undeniable lack of culinary talent. She’d tried one of her own recipes the other day, thinking she would surprise Alex when he was able to sneak away from El Paso. She cringed remembering how miserably she’d failed. Writing about food was way easier than actually cooking it.

  “Okay,” she said, finally. She hated that she’d caved so easily, wishing she could have held out for another fifty bucks, but the lure of extra income was too strong to turn down. “Then it’s settled. I’ll write exclusively for the Kitchen Kupboard now.”

  She saw the tips of his ears pink up.

  “Not exactly.”

  “What do you mean not exactly?”

  He cleared his throat. “I can’t afford to pay someone else to write the personals.”

  She mulled that around in her head, fixing her gaze on a picture of downtown Ranchero behind Egan’s desk.

  “What if I sweeten the offer?” he asked, apparently taking her silence for a negative response.

  “I’m listening.”

  “What if you keep on writing both the culinary column and the personals, and I arrange for you to sit in the press box with Jim Westerville for a couple of the Cougar games next season?”

  Even memories of her nearly fatal escapade the last time she’d been in the press box couldn’t dampen her excitement over this opportunity. She stared at Egan, trying to pull off a pensive look. In reality, he had her with the extra hundred bucks.

  “You’ve got a deal.” She stood. “Unless there’s something else, I have a column to write.”

  A column I should have finished last night, she thought, instead of spending two hours on the phone with Alex. His new assignment had him in deep cover, and it was the first time he’d found more than ten minutes at a time to call her in the three weeks since he’d left Ranchero.

  “There is one more thing, Jordan,” Egan said, motioning for her to sit back down. “Ever hear of Lucas Santana?”

  She shook her head, slowly lowering herself into the seat. She had a sinking feeling she wasn’t going to like this. Why else would he save it until after she’d agreed to his terms?

  “He owns Santana Circle Ranch, the biggest beefproducing property in the area and one that spends a lot of advertising dollars at the Globe. Anyway, he called yesterday. Seems it’s time for the annual Cattlemen’s Ball at the Pavilion Hotel in downtown Fort Worth. He thought it would be good for business if you went this year and talked it up in your column. Thinks it might boost the beef market and be a good incentive for people who are watching their budgets and eating less steak right now.”

  “Mr. Egan, I’ve never been to Fort Worth in my life. There’s no way I can drive there by myself at night.”

  The editor’s eyes twinkled. “Already on top of that. His ranch foreman, who I’ve been told is not only very handsome but also very single, will take you there.”

  “You’re hooking me up with a date?”

  “Not really a date per se. Let’s call Rusty Morales an escort.” He smiled. “It never hurts to be seen with a good-looking cowboy, if you know what I mean.”

  “Unfortunately, I do,” she said, thinking about her nonexistent social life. “Is this mandatory for my job?”

  “If you want to look at it that way, then yes. I prefer to think of it as an opportunity to mix with the social upper crust in the county. And don’t forget, this yearly hullabaloo raises a lot of money for cancer research.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Did you just make that up to guilt me into going?”

  He laughed out loud. “Hell no, but it’s good to know you can be guilted.” He shook his finger in her direction, reminding her of her high school English teacher Sister Catherine when she was about to blow a gasket. “Trust me when I tell you the Cattlemen’s Association is the biggest supporter of the American Cancer Society in the entire country, and most of the research money stays in Dallas at Southwestern.”

  When he saw her wavering, he continued, “What do you have to lose except a few hours spent dining and dancing? Despite your recent penchant for getting into trouble, how dangerous could it be to have a steak dinner with a bunch of beefcakes wearing spurs?”

  She blew out a breath. She didn’t even want to imagine.

  RECIPES

  LONGHORN PRIME RIB’S STRAWBERRY-MANDARIN SALAD

  Yields 4–6 servings

  SALAD

  1 bunch of red-leaf lettuce, rinsed and torn

  1 cup sliced strawberries

  1 can (11 ounces) mandarin oranges, drained

  1 cup red onion, sliced in strips

  ½ cup slivered almonds, toasted

  3 crisp bacon strips, crumbled

  DRESSING

  ⅓ cup sugar (can use sweetner)

  ⅓ cup red wine vinegar

  ⅓ cup extra-virgin olive oil

  To make the salad, place all of the salad ingredients in a large bowl. To make the dressing, in a small bowl whisk the sugar in vinegar and oil until the sugar is dissolved. Allow this to sit at room temperature for several hours. You can use sweetener instead of sugar. Drizzle salad with dressing. Toss the salad gently to coat before serving.

  ROSIE’S PORK CHOP CASSEROLE

  Côte de Porc á la Cocotte

  Yields 6 servings

  1 tablespoon cooking oil

  1 16-ounce package frozen grated (not the chunks) hash browns, thawed

  1 can (10 ¾ ounces) cream of mushroom soup

  ½ cup milk

  6 thin boneless pork chops, fat trimmed

  2½ cups grated cheddar cheese

  1 can (2.8 ounces) French-fried onions

  Preheat the oven to 350° F. Grease a 9 × 13 baking dish with a tablespoon of oil. Mix the hash browns, soup, and milk and pour the mixture into the pan. Place the pork chops in a large sauté pan over medium heat and brown them on both sides, 3–5 minutes each side. Lay the pork chops on top of the hash brown mixture (Each pork chop will be a serving.). Cover tightly with foil and bake for 40 minutes. Remove the dish from the oven and sprinkle the top with the cheddar cheese and French-fried onions. Return to the oven and bake uncovered for 10 more minutes, or until the top is browned and cheese is melted.

  LONGHORN PRIME RIB’S CHOCOLATE DECADENCE CAKE

  2½ cups cake flour

  ½ teaspoon baking soda

  1 teaspoon salt

  ¾ cup (1½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened

  2 cups sugar

  3½ ounces semisweet or bittersweet dark chocolate, melted and cooled

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  2 large eggs

  1½ cups cold water

  Nonstick cooking oil

  Raspberry liqueur, for drizzling

  Chocolate-Chip Butter Cream Frosting (recipe follows)

  Dark chocolate shavings, for decoration

  Raspberry Sauce, for decoration (optional; recipe follows)

  Preheat the oven to 350° F. In a large bowl sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt; set aside. In another large bowl use a hand mixer on medium speed to cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, 3–5 minutes. Add the chocolate and vanilla and beat for 3 minutes on medium speed. Beat in the eggs one at a time. Beat for another 3 minutes. Gradually mix in the dry ingredients, alternating with the wate
r. Beat 1 minute after each addition. Mix until batter is smooth.

  Spray two 9-inch round cake pans with nonstick cooking oil. Cut two circles of parchment paper (I use waxed paper) to fit the pan bottoms and place them inside the pans. Spray the paper for added nonstick insurance. Pour equal amounts of the batter into each of the prepared pans and smooth the surface with a spatula; the pans should be about two-thirds full. Bake 30–35 minutes, or until toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean.

  Cool for 40 minutes. Place one of the layers on a cake dish and remove the paper. Drizzle with a few tablespoons of the raspberry liqueur. Spread ½ cup of the butter cream frosting over the first layer of cake. Carefully place the second layer on top of the first and repeat what you did for the first one. Smooth the sides with the frosting and then spread the rest over the top so that the cake is completely covered. Refrigerate for 5 minutes before decorating or cutting. Scatter chocolate shavings over cake. Drizzle Raspberry Sauce, if using, on the plate before adding a slice of cake. Serve with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. (This is really a rich cake and the ice cream cuts the sweetness.)

  CHOCOLATE-CHIP BUTTER CREAM FROSTING

  4½ cups confectioners’ sugar

  10 tablespoons hot water

  6 ounces semisweet dark chocolate, melted and cooled

  2½ teaspoons vanilla

  6 tablespoons (¾ stick) unsalted butter, softened

  ½ cup (4 ounces) semisweet dark chocolate, finely chopped

  In a medium large bowl use a hand mixer on low speed to dissolve the sugar and water. Beat in the dark chocolate and vanilla. Add the butter gradually. Continue mixing on low speed. Mix until everything is completely incorporated. Using a spatula, fold in the semisweet chocolate bits.

  RASPBERRY SAUCE

  1 10-ounce package frozen raspberries

  1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice

  1 tablespoon orange liqueur (optional)

  Put the raspberries in a food processor and puree until smooth. You can strain to remove seeds or not. Add the lemon juice and, if using, the orange liqueur.

  ROSIE’S POTATO CHIP CHICKEN

  Budin de Papitas Fritas con Pollo

  Yields 6 servings

  4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, rinsed and cut up into bite-sized pieces

  4 stalks celery, chopped

  1 package (10 ounces) sliced almonds

  1 cup (2 sticks) butter, melted (or for low-fat version, use

  ¼ cup butter and ¾ cup low-fat mayonnaise)

  1 tablespoon dried onion flakes

  1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper

  Nonstick cooking oil

  10 ounces grated cheddar cheese (about 2½ cups)

  1 (7.5-ounce) bag of potato chips, crumbled

  Preheat the oven to 350° F. In a large bowl mix the chicken, celery, almonds, butter, onion flakes. and pepper. Spray a 9 × 13 baking dish with nonstick cooking oil and add the chicken mixture to the dish. Top with the cheese and then the chips. Bake uncovered 45 minutes, or until filling is bubbly and chips are golden brown.

  RAY’S PUMPKIN PIE CRUNCH

  1 (15-ounce) can solid pack pumpkin

  1 (12-ounce) can evaporated milk

  3 large eggs

  1½ cups sugar

  4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

  ½ teaspoon salt

  1 package Duncan Hines classic yellow cake mix

  1 cup chopped pecans

  1 cup (2 sticks) butter, melted

  Whipped topping

  Preheat the oven to 350° F. In a large bowl combine the pumpkin, milk, eggs, sugar, pumpkin pie spice, and salt. Pour the pumpkin mixture into a greased 9 × 13 pan. Sprinkle the cake mix evenly over the pumpkin mixture and top with pecans. Drizzle the melted butter over the top. Bake 50–55 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool for fifteen minutes. Serve warm with a dollop of whipped topping. Refrigerate the leftovers and reheat in the microwave before serving. You will never eat regular pumpkin pie again!

  MYRTLE’S MANDARIN ORANGE CAKE

  CAKE

  1 package yellow cake mix

  1 can (11 ounces) mandarin oranges with juices

  ½ cup cooking oil

  4 large eggs, beaten

  TOPPING

  1 large (16-ounce) container Cool Whip

  1 small can (8 ounces) crushed pineapple and juices

  1 small box (1.4 ounces) vanilla instant pudding, dry

  Preheat the oven to 350° F. Grease and flour a 9 × 13 baking pan. To make the cake, combine all the cake ingredients and mix by hand, then pour the batter into the pan. Bake as indicated on box. Cake is done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Allow cake to cool completely (approximately 30 minutes). To make the topping, combine all of the topping ingredients and mix well. Spread the topping on top of the cake and store in the refrigerator until ready for serving.

  ALEX’S TEX-MEX BREAKFAST CASSEROLE

  Tejano Casserole Desayuno

  6 slices of any kind of bread

  Butter or margarine for bread

  1 teaspoon cooking oil

  1-pound tube hot breakfast sausage

  12 ounces grated cheddar cheese (about 3 cups)

  6 ounces pepper jack cheese (about 1½ cups)

  6 large eggs, beaten

  2 cups whole or 2% milk

  Trim the crust off of the bread and butter one side of each slice. Grease an 8 × 11 baking pan with cooking oil and line the bottom with the bread, butter side down.

  In a small skillet, brown the sausage, crumble, and drain. Layer the sausage over the bread slices. Top with the cheddar and pepper jack cheeses.

  In a small bowl beat together the eggs and milk and pour over the cheese. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

  Preheat oven to 350° F. Bake covered for 35 minutes. Uncover and bake another 15–20 minutes, or until the cheese is golden brown.

  MYRTLE’S CHOCOLATE-CHIP COFFEE CAKE

  Yields 1 9 x 13 pan

  2½ cups all-purpose flour

  1½ teaspoons baking powder

  1 teaspoon baking soda

  ½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened

  1½ cups sugar

  2 large eggs

  1 cup sour cream (can use low fat)

  1 teaspoon vanilla

  1½ cups semisweet chocolate chips

  1 teaspoon cinnamon

  Preheat oven to 350° F. Grease and flour a 9 × 13 pan.

  Combine the flour, baking powder, and baking soda in a medium bowl and set aside.

  In a large bowl use a hand mixer to cream the butter and 1 cup of the sugar. Add the eggs, sour cream, and vanilla and mix well. Gradually add in the flour mixture. Batter will be thick.

  In a small bowl combine the chocolate chips, the remaining ½ cup of sugar, and the cinnamon. Set aside.

  Spread half the batter in the pan. This is tough, so sprinkle a little flour on your hands and spread like pizza dough. Sprinkle half the chocolate chip mixture over the batter. Spread the remaining batter on top. (This is also going to require a lot of patience. Don’t worry if you aren’t able to cover the entire first layer. It will still be delicious and look good.) Top this off with the remaining chocolate-chip mixture.

  Bake 25–30 minutes. Allow the cake to completely cool before cutting or the chocolate will be messy.

  LONGHORN PRIME RIB’S RATTLESNAKE PASTA

  1 pound bow-tie pasta

  5 tablespoons cooking oil

  ¼ cup sliced onions

  ½ medium yellow squash, cut diagonally into ¼ inch

  slices then cut in half (about 3/4 cup)

  ½ medium zucchini, cut diagonally into ¼-inch-thick

  slices (about 3/4 cup)

  ¾ cup sliced mushrooms (optional)

  1¼ cups heavy cream

  1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and minced (or ½ small can

  minced jalapeño)

  1 teaspoon minced garlic

  1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

 
1 tablespoon Cajun seasoning

  2 ounces freshly grated Parmesan cheese (about ½ cup)

  1 can (14½ ounces) fire-roasted diced tomatoes

  Salt and pepper to taste

  3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, rinsed and cut up

  into bite-sized pieces

  All-purpose flour and Cajun seasoning, for dredging

  Cook the pasta according to package instructions. Meanwhile, heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the onions, yellow squash, zucchini, and mushrooms (if using) and cook for 5 minutes, or until the vegetables are heated through but still firm.

  Pour in the cream and the cooked pasta and simmer for 4 minutes. Mix in the jalapeño, garlic, mustard, and Cajun seasoning and cook for 1 minute. Stir in the cheese and the tomatoes. Reduce heat to low.

  In another large skillet, preheat the remaining 3 tablespoons of oil over high heat. Shake the Cajun seasoning over the chicken pieces and then dredge in the flour. Pan fry for 5 minutes on each side, or until brown. Add the chicken to vegetable pasta mixture and stir a few times to incorporate. This casserole has a bite (that’s why it’s called Rattlesnake Pasta), so if you don’t like spicy food, go easy on the jalapeño.

  JORDAN’S CHOCOLATE HO HO CAKE

  CAKE

  1 package chocolate cake mix

  FILLING

  8 tablespoons (1 stick) margarine

  ½ cup Crisco

  1 cup sugar

  ⅓ cup lukewarm milk

  ICING

  8 tablespoons (1 stick) margarine

  ½ cup of cocoa

  1 1-pound box confectioners’ sugar (or a little less to make less sweet)

  ¼ cup cold milk

  Preheat the oven to 350° F. To make the cake, prepare the cake mix according to the package instructions. Divide the batter into two greased and floured 9-inch cake pans and bake 10–20 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Let cool.

  To make the filling, in a medium bowl use a hand mixer to beat together the margarine, Crisco, and sugar until fluffy (5–7 minutes). Pour in the milk and beat until smooth (taste until sugar crystals are gone). If the filling is too thick, add a little more milk, a tablespoon at a time, to thin it. Place one layer of cake on a plate and spread the filling over the first layer. Place the second layer of cake on top of the first.

  To make the icing, in a large bowl use a hand mixer on medium high speed to beat the margarine, cocoa, sugar, and milk until fluffy (5–7 minutes). If the icing is too thick, add more milk, a tablespoon at a time, to thin. Spread the icing on the top and sides of the cake.