“I’ve heard so much about you all,” Jonas said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Noah grumbled something I couldn’t make out, but I stood and offered my hand to Jonas. Carrie stood with me. My siblings followed my lead until Mom shooed us all back to the table and ordered us to eat.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Carrie
I do not care for Cody Reynolds. I do not care for Cody Reynolds. I do not care for Cody Reynolds. That had been my mantra for the past two weeks since we’d gotten back from his mom’s place. I’d told myself that over and over again while he cooked me dinner every night. I reminded myself of that when he made me laugh and I chanted it in my mind so frequently during sex, that I’m pretty sure I said it aloud one night. Cody had either pretended not to hear or he really hadn’t heard my slip.
I was rationalizing. I knew it, but I couldn’t stop. Because if I admitted I cared about him, if I even admitted I liked him a little bit, then I’d have to stop eating the delicious dinners he cooked, I’d have to stop having the best sex of my life and, worst of all, I’d have to stop hanging out with him and laughing with him. A little voice in the back of my head had started up twenty-four hours ago and suggested maybe we could have something more, that maybe he cared for me, too. And that was a dangerous thought. That was a thought that meant we should end this charade, because he and I wanted very different things and the closer we got, the more I started to think we could have something long-term, the more likely it was that one of us would get hurt.
I reminded myself at least ten times a day of all the things about him that bothered me. He listened to awful music, he only watched educational television or sports, and he didn’t wear scarves or sweaters. I had a knitting habit and I needed someone to knit scarves and sweaters for. I needed a man who had a reliable, steady job and was ready to settle down and start a family.
All the voices in my head were making me start to question my sanity and I was getting tired of arguing with myself. That’s why, when Cody knocked on my door Friday night, I spoke before he could say a word.
“I think we need some space,” I said at the same time he said, “I’m taking you to see the ocean.”
My heart stuttered. The ocean? I’d never seen the ocean and I’d always wanted to see the ocean. “What?”
“What?”
I waved at him. “You go first.”
“I want to take you to see the ocean,” he said. “Noah owns a rental property in Myrtle beach and it’s free this weekend. He said we could use it, but if you need some space…?”
“Space?” I had started rationalizing as soon as the word ocean left his mouth the second time. “I don’t need any space. When do we leave?”
Cody frowned and studied my face like he was trying to figure something out. “Right now. Pack your clothes and throw in a bikini. The condo building has a heated pool.”
I didn’t own a bikini, but I wasn’t going to say anything that would make him change his mind about this trip. And believe me, I know how that sounds. I was a strong woman, I should have been able to take a trip to see the ocean on my own, but I’d had other priorities for a long time and I…Well, I really just wanted someone else with me to identify my remains if I was eaten by a shark. “Come on in,” I said. “I’ll only be ten minutes.”
“That’s one of my favorite things about you.” He dropped to a seat on my couch and put his feet on the coffee table. “You aren’t even remotely high maintenance.”
My heart stuttered again. He had favorite things about me? This was not good. Things were so much easier when we couldn’t stand each other.
I hurried back to my room, grabbed my bag and threw in clothes, make-up, and toiletries for three days in about two minutes. I spent three minutes choosing my books and knitting project. I owned a Kindle, but I always liked to have physical books as back-up in case my Kindle battery died or I lost my charger, or there was an apocalyptic event and all electronic devices stopped working.
I took another thirty seconds to toss in my chargers for my phone and Kindle, slid on a pair of flip-flops, and hurried back out to the living room. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”
Cody grinned, his brown eyes warm and happy, and my insides flipped and rearranged themselves in a new way that couldn’t be healthy, because it kind of hurt. I do not care for Cody Reynolds I mentally reminded myself.
He hopped up and we headed out to his truck. I bit my lip and held my breath. I swallowed hard and tried to maintain my composure. I stepped into his truck, he shut the door on me, and I let out a squee of excitement. I tried to get it under control by the time he was seated in the driver’s seat, but I couldn’t hide my smile. Cody smiled back.
“Thank you,” I said. “This is really the…It’s just…I really appreciate you taking me to see the ocean.”
He started the truck and put his arm behind my seat back as he backed out. “I’m not doing this for you,” he said once he was on the main road. “I just wanted a reason to see you in a bikini.”
I could have argued with him, but I knew he was trying to keep things business-like and platonic, just like I was. So I didn’t. “That sounds more like the Cody I know.”
His smile faded a bit, but I pretended I hadn’t noticed. I pretended, but I couldn’t make the sick feeling in my gut subside. “I brought the book we were reading,” I said. “We didn’t finish it on our trip to Atlanta.”
“Perfect.” He kept his eyes on the road and his smile seemed forced. “I’ve been dying to find out what happens.”
I read to him until the sun went down and my throat ached.
“What’s your favorite book of all time?” he asked.
“Jane Eyre.”
“Really? Why?”
“You’ve read it?”
“My mother believed a love of reading was key to being successful in all aspects of life. She either read to us or insisted we read all the classics,” he said. “Jane Eyre wouldn’t even make my top ten list. I figured you would have chosen Pride and Prejudice or Mrs. Dalloway or The Bluest Eye.”
“I love all those books.” My heart warmed at his knowledge of and obvious love of books. I repeated my mantra, I do not care for Cody Reynolds, but it didn’t do much to chill the warmth. “But Jane Eyre is special to me. I’ve read it once every year since I was ten and every time I read it I love it a little more.”
“Tell me. Tell me why it means so much to you.”
So I did my best to explain it to him. Jane Eyre was a woman in a prison formed by expectations, by poverty, by society’s rules and laws, even physically caged by her aunt, and yet she found a way to overcome every obstacle, to find love, to transcend her lot in life. Her life was hard and yet she found beauty and friendships and loves that made her story beloved by generations. “How about you?” I asked, when I’d finished my explanation. “What’s your favorite book?”
He thought it over for a minute. “Actually, I also like books that question the status quo. I love fiction, read it all the time, but my favorite books are probably nonfiction, memoir type books about nature, like Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. If I had to pick a favorite, it would be Edward Abbey’s Desert Solitaire. Which is ironic, considering that I want to farm the land, to be one of those forces disturbing the natural order.”
“I haven’t read that one. Haven’t read Pilgrim at Tinker’s Creek either. I should add them to my list.”
He explained what he loved about the books, how the authors could perform a sort of magic with their words, to uncover unseen layers in nature, to somehow make it more. He talked about the peace he found in nature, the unmatchable beauty, and how those authors somehow made it more beautiful, made his enjoyment nature more. He also talked about the importance of protecting nature and how he hoped to build his winery in an environmentally sustainable way. He’d tried to convince his family to build their hotels in the same way, but his father had resisted and it wasn’t until Noah took over that changes started to be made.
>
“I’ve never been a huge fan of hiking,” I said. “But I think if I went with you, I might change my mind.”
He smiled, but he didn’t tell me what he thought of that idea, instead he asked where I wanted to go for dinner. We argued about what to eat for a good half hour. After we’d settled on a compromise and were back in the truck with full bellies, he pulled out an mp3 player and fired up an audio book. “What is this?” I asked.
“The Sound and the Fury. Unless you’d prefer something else? I’ve got The Goldfinch on here, too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you had this before I started reading?”
He didn’t look the least bit repentant. “Your voice is my favorite.”
His words made my heart squeeze and I couldn’t be annoyed with him. “The Sound and the Fury is good.”
We listened, getting lost in Faulkner’s words and the lovely voice of the reader, until we got to Myrtle Beach.
***
We arrived at Noah’s condo after nine thirty, and I was tired. I’d had a long week at work and I’d been in overdrive worrying about people I couldn’t control or influence. Harrison seemed to be in a good place, finally, but Kayla had missed two more days of school that week and, when she’d been in class, she’d had dark bags under her eyes and had looked pale. I’d asked her if she was okay, but she’d said she was fine and did her best to avoid me. Since I couldn’t legally kidnap her and hold her until she told me the truth, I was out of options. On top of that, Missy Melcher had ‘dropped in’ to see me or observe my class every single day and every single day she reminded me I was on probation, criticized my appearance or my teaching skills, and suggested there was no way I’d really landed a fiancé as hot as Cody.
I rubbed my eyes and looked up at the three-story building Cody had parked in front of. “How far is the ocean?”
“It’s just on the other side of this building,” he said. “Nothing but the best for Noah. We’re in North Myrtle Beach, about fifteen minutes from Myrtle, where the boardwalk and most of the excitement happens. This is more of a family beach, but we can go to the boardwalk tomorrow.”
“I just want to see the ocean. I want to build a sandcastle and lay in the sun and dive through a wave.”
He grinned. “The water’s a bit chilly this time of year, but all of that can definitely be arranged.”
The smell of salt and warm wood filled me as soon as I stepped out of the car into the cool night air. He grabbed our bags and led us up to the third floor and a condo at the beach-side of the building. The interior was cute and tropical, with a living room, full kitchen, small dining area, and two bedrooms. I bypassed it all and went straight to the balcony to see the ocean. It was much louder than I’d imagined. The white caps glowed bright white in the light of the full moon and the dark water rolled and glistened. The night was warmer on the street-side of the building, but the breeze was chilly off the ocean and I shivered. I should go in and grab a sweatshirt, but I didn’t want to turn away from the view.
The door behind me slid open and Cody stepped out. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. For several long moments, he didn’t say a word, didn’t mar the beauty of the moment with small talk or unwieldy words. He just held me and watched the ocean with me. I was mesmerized by its ebb and flow, by the pure force and enormity of it.
“Want to go for a walk on the beach,” he asked in a soft voice.
“Uh-huh.”
We went back inside and I pulled a sweatshirt on over my short-sleeved shirt. Cody claimed not to be cold and wore only his jeans and a t-shirt that stretched tight over his upper body. Under any other circumstances, I might have been distracted by him and the empty condo and the responsibility-free weekend stretching out before us, but the ocean held a bigger draw.
He held my hand as we walked out of the condo and down the short path to the sand. I didn’t remind myself that I didn’t care for him or worry about the danger of getting too close to him. Instead, I found myself falling into a happy daze and pretending we were a couple, that he belonged to me for real, that we had a whole future of days like this one stretching out before us. I kicked off my flip-flops and sank my toes into the sand. It felt a bit like a foot massage and Cody waited while I dug my toes in, closed my eyes, and just reveled in the feel of it against my skin, the sound of the ocean, louder now and all encompassing.
I opened my eyes and we walked down to the water’s edge. I let my feet sink into the wet sand and felt the chilly water lapping at my ankles. When I’d had my fill of that, we walked along the beach, chasing fiddler crabs, white ghosts against the glow from Cody’s cell phone. When I’d had enough of that, we walked back to the beach in front of our condo and lay on the sand, my head on Cody’s firm belly, and looked at the stars, so bright and clear and infinite.
I was in paradise and I savored every moment, clung to it, because I knew it couldn’t last, no matter how badly I might want it to.
***
My phone rang, waking me from a deep sleep, and a sense of dread washed over me. I scrambled out of bed, kicking Cody in the shin accidentally. He sat straight up in bed. “What?”
My phone rang again and I lunged for it. “Hello?”
“Ms. Harrison,” a teary voice said. “This is Kayla. Can you…Can you come and get me and Simon and Jenny?”
“I’m in Myrtle Beach, honey,” I said, my heart sinking. “What’s happened?”
“My dad…” Her voice broke and she started sobbing.
“Ms. Harrison,” a male voice said, his tone soft. “This is Albert Bennett with Child Protective Services. Kayla’s father passed away this afternoon and the children have no living relatives that we can track down. Kayla felt that you might be willing to take them in until a legal guardian is located. Two community members have spoken on your behalf and we could put them into your care for the time being if that is amenable.”
“Yes. I’m in Myrtle Beach, but we can be there in…” I looked at Cody.
“Six hours,” he said. “Seven at the most.”
“Seven hours,” I said to Albert. “Where will they be held until I can get there?”
“I’ll wait for you with them here at the hospital,” Albert said.
“I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
I hung up. Cody was already out of bed, he pulled on jeans and started throwing clothes in his bag. I followed suit and he didn’t say a word, didn’t ask a question until we were on the road and headed Northwest. “What happened?”
“Kayla’s dad is dead,” I said. “I don’t know what happened, but the kids have nowhere else to go. Child Protective Services wants me to take them in until next of kin can be found.” Kayla had told me her grandparents passed away before she was born, and she’d never mentioned any other family.
“That was fast,” he said. “Don’t they need to do a background check on you or something?”
I shrugged. “I grew up in that town, and my parents grew up in that town. Two people, I’m assuming two people in positions of authority, vouched for me.”
“It really is all about who you know.”
“Yep.” I couldn’t imagine what Kayla, Simon, and Jenny were going through, how much they were hurting, and I willed the car to go faster, to somehow get to them more quickly.
“They can stay at my place,” he said. “I’ve got plenty of space. There won’t be room for them at your house.”
“Thanks. But you don’t have to do that. It’s too much to ask of you, to take in three kids you don’t even know.”
“I’ve got nothing else going on until I finalize the deal on Bart’s property, and they’re good kids. It’s fine.”
“Thank you,” I said again. They were good kids, but every kid reacted differently to the loss of a parent. I’d seen it a couple of times with my students and I’d seen it with my nephew. I doubted anything would be as simple as Cody anticipated. But I wasn’t going to turn down his offer, because he was
right, there was more space at his house.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get to swim in the ocean. Next time…” He cleared his throat. “Next time you go, I hope the weather is better for you.”
And just like that the bubble I’d been inside for the past twelve hours burst. It hadn’t burst with Kayla’s phone call, because he’d been right there beside me, supporting me. It had burst when he reminded me, maybe both of us, that our relationship, whatever it was, had a time limit. We had one more week, nine more days, and it would be over. Maybe we’d pretend a little bit longer after that, just so it didn’t seem like we’d tricked Bart, but we could start spending less time together, build the distance between us in preparation for the inevitable end.
“You should try and get some sleep,” he said. “I’m sure you’re going to have a stressful day ahead of you.”
I put my seat back and closed my eyes, Cody turned on his classic rock at a low volume, and I pretended to sleep. I pretended because I couldn’t really do it. I listened to him humming along softly with the music, and watched as he drove through the night, focused on the road, no sign of worry or concern about the end of our relationship on his face. He would be okay. We’d end and he would get involved with building his winery and date other women and he’d be fine. I’d be fine, too. I’d always been fine alone and I would be again, but my heart would never be quite whole again, because sometime over the past couple of days, I’d fallen. I’d broken all my own rules and fallen irrevocably in love with this man.
But my relationship with Cody wasn’t my main concern. What really mattered, was those three kids who’d just lost their father, who would need me to be there for them, to give them everything I had. It was better to accept that Cody and I were a fling that was ending and start figuring out how I was going to help those kids, to be there for those kids without him, without his help.
The Deadbeat Next Door Page 21
